5 Terrifying Kids' Cakes To Make You Poop A Little
July 28, 2015 Parents, are the kids making too much noise? Need to quiet them down a bit? Maybe get them rocking themselves in the fetal position for the next few hours, followed by a life-long enrollment in therapy?
THEN DO WE HAVE THE CAKES FOR YOU!!
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"Hey, kids, that's not sunburn - it's pulverized entrails! Ho-ho!"
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"My name's Murders-A-Lot, and I like warm hugs!
"... followed by murder."
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"We're gonna wreck... [clap!]... YOU UP."
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[muffled screaming]
I know I usually blur out bakery labels to protect the guilty, but what the actual heck, Baskin Robbins:
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Sleep sweet, kiddos.
Thanks to Sarah H., Tom S., Sarah Y., Erica K., & Carol V. for finding a cake that mirrors all of our faces right now.
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Reader Comments (38)
The one that I've now fallen hopelessly in love with (credited as "scaryashell") is my new favorite. Poor thing must have actually scared itself, too: if you look closely, you can see little drops of *ice cream* that accidentally dripped down onto the shelf below. Kinda makes you want to think twice, doesn't it?
You know, like maybe eat the eyes FIRST, so it can't see how high up it is? =^-.-^=
Jaw dropping.
That Baskin Robbins cake should be renamed as a "I Scream" cake as in "I scream in bloody terror!"
And those Wreck-It Ralph cakes looks like they got totally wrecked literally! And that Mickey Mouse cake looks like he suffered from a combo of the hives, a severe sunburn and the measles!
I thought my baby was immune to scary cakes because of his age (6 mo.) and his inability to focus on anything other than the bottle in his face. But no. He took one look at the close-up of that Baskin Robbins monstrosity, gave the biggest pouty-face, and started crying!
He is now happily drinking his fears away in the company of his favorite stuffed polar bear!
Ummm...i'm guessing that first one is Mickey depicted in cupcakes (patooie!). If that assumption is correct, why is he wearing a black thong for a smile? I suppose lingerie on the lower, er, face might delight a rodent but...eww.
Thanks for the hint on the Wreck It Ralph cakes. I couldn't figure out WHO they were trying to be!
And the BR cake reminds me of a color inverted Ribbid, from Rabbids Invasion.
Oh why did you have to zoom in on that Baskin Robbins cake? That thing is utter Nightmare Fuel!
At least there were no clowns in this batch.
I think we should begin a GoFundMe account for the poor BK employee who lost their dentures to this evil monster.
Pulverized entrails… and gouged-out eyes.
My first thought when I saw "poop" in the title and just under it those monstrously black ears was that this post was going to discuss the vagaries of food dye coming and going. Which can be terrifying.
The white one looks like the Adipose from Dr. Who.
Aaaauuuuggghhhh D:
Why would Baskin-Robbins make a cake tribute to the Quiznos creatures?
The BR cake looks like one of those weird tribble-like creatures from the quiznos ads.
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/pW4mIWgU-PM/hqdefault.jpg
Those things always gave me the creeps.
Seriously?!?! Please tell me these are all Halloween related...somehow...
Is there something wrong with me that I think the cupcakes are adorable? I suspect those characters aren't supposed to look like that, though.
I might be more scared of the white thing if I knew what it was.
::silent scream::
3) - I'd never heard of Wreck-It Ralph, so initially I though the cupcakes were pretty good renderings of a witch and an ogre.
4) - Never let Harlan Ellison decorate a cake.
5-7) - Someone needs to get a grip. Preferably Poligrip. I don't want to even think about where those needed to be fetched from the last time they fell out.
Yep. My 4 year old peeked at my phone and declared the first cake to be "too keepy!" (Creepy)
What the heck is the white one? I have no guesses
"Baskin Robbins always finds out."
Darn. I knew I left my dentures on the counter at B-R while I was tasting that new flavor :-(
Who's the leader of the club that we all wish to flee
M-I-C-K-E-Y Please don't murder me
Hey there, Hi there, No fair
That's a ghostly, gross Care Bear
M-I-C-K-E-Y Please don't murder me
What's that thing? With no eyes?
Forever I'll have nightmares about teeth. (Nay, nay, nay)
Come along and we'll escape, from these wrecks we'll be free
M-I-C-K-E-Y Please don't murder me
Pikkiwyntje, the cupcakes are adorbs!
Did anyone else notice how dirty the display case is that the Baskin Robbins cake is in?It's like the only time they clean it is when they run out of flotsam. That explains the fake teeth pretty well, actually.
It's the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog! Retreat!
Oh my gosh. I think these cakes are going to be fueling everyone's nightmares for some time to come lol. I am very glad no clowns were involved otherwise therapy might have had to be added in there. Eeeeeek.
My name is Winnie the Poop and I like warm hugs
@Subee: I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying. The Mickey Mouse Song! Genuis! That song will be stuck in my head all day today, Wednesday. Thank you.
@s.marie, I'm glad I'am not the only one who saw ladies attire on the first cake, but I can see an entire string bikini ... although one might wonder about the gigantic black belly button. Now I can't see anything else in it.
I know this is "small potatoes", but what the heck happened to the green border around the lower part of the Winnie-looks-like-Poo cake? Usually the decorators can handle the borders decently. But do I have to say, "Way to go, filling up that empty space with that yummy looking green bow---NOT!
The second one, the Care Bears cake, was actually done pretty well. At least, it was before the black icing began running and he became an extra in the "Total Eclipse of the Heart" video - you know, the one with the choir boys with glowing blue eyes. *shudder*
Can we take a second and talk about the GIANT freaking CAMO BOW on the Scare-Bear cake? I mean... It takes up nearly 1/4 of the cake and I can't even tell if it's edible... and why CAMO?! Also, I was staring at the Wreck-It-Ralph ones for a full 5 minutes before I finally figured out who they are... and I still wouldn't have gotten it without the clue in the caption.
the horror! the horror!
Is the muffled screaming because that cake (which clearly is a Moomintroll (http://tinyurl.com/q4ft6op), and not scary at all) cost $31.99? I mean, sheesh.
I read the comments to see if anyone else thought it looked like a Moomin! Not a great one, but it's still cute and I kinda want it.
"No, Bobby, we're not going to buy the ice-cream cake until Grandpa tests it to make sure it's not stale. Whoops, clearly it's been in that case too long. Let's go, Bobby! Go go go go!"
Me and my friend were looking at this post, and my friend just kept yelling "THAT'S NOT RIGHT!!" For that last cake . . . And it is certainly NOT right...
I read the captions in Krusty's voice, if that adds anything.
Five Nights at Baskin-Robbins...