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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jul212015

11 Utterly Bizarre Display Cakes Just Hangin' Out Like It's NBD

Today's cakes are not special orders.

No one asked for them this way.

In fact, they were all found ready-made in bakery display cases, just waiting for the right customer and/or occasion to come along.

Like maybe...!!

Building a compost

 

Or fighting a wrestler

 

Or lighting up for Monkey Hour:

 

Discovering something that doesn't exist

(Hey!)

 

Or giving a cookie a "flower!"

[DUN DUN DUN!]

 

Black-tie crabs who wave

 

Creating nasty dots

 

Or exposing Miss Finklestein's brain

(It's under here! )

 

Finding a loco face

 

Wrecking a cookie cake

 

And driving your shoppers insane!

("What is this?!")

 

As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to wreck before school starts this Fall.
So stick with us, 'cuz these wreckerators are gonna
wreck 'em
all!

 

Thanks to Jennifer G., Vanessa F., Nicole P., Tonya F., Melissa, Mollie M., Lydia D., Liz Z., Kayla P., Tommi S., who tells me that's supposed to be a dress, but all I see is a blind bunny.

*****

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Reader Comments (75)

Yep, at "Or lighting up for Monkey Hour" the Phineas and Ferb tune started up in my head. Great, now I'm gonna have that in my head all day. At leasts it's a fun theme song.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

The wrestling one looks like it WAS a special order that somebody didn't come pick up, so the decorators had to try and salvage it for the display case. It looks kinda like there is writing underneath the flowers. People ditch their cakes all the time, believe me. It's such a waste of my time. They just don't show up for them.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Compost cake? Yeech!!!!!
And Cake #4 looks like either a reject from The Muppets or Birdzilla's unknown twin sister from Super Mario Bros.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

It took me to the end of the post to realize it was a play on the Phineas and Ferb theme. Maybe I need to go back to bed, lol.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMisti

someone needs to set this to the theme from Phineas and Ferb. [what?]

Other than that, what in the holy hell...?

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterlittle mouse

It took me all the way to Discovering something that doesn't exist to get the tune going. :) Love P&F! Now I have to go look at the cakes again a bit slower, since I had to go through at the correct song speed the first time. :)

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKA

Tommi S. makes sense. It looks more like a dress than a "bizarre bunny" (which is what the tagline reads).
But my "Huh?" moment of the day was when I read the existentialist credit thingy for the pink, green, and yellow cookie cake, which "explains" it as :"square of green with yellow blossoms on a field of pink sadness".
So.....yeah. =^-.-^= (I'm not going to laugh when the chocolate chips are down.)

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I think that the last cake is supposed to be a dress. the smoking monkey reminds be of being a kid. Does anyone else remember those things?

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterK

That first one looks really decent actually, like the trompe l'oeil "cat litter box cake" you can make in a (new) cat litter box with cake crumbs, cream cheese, pudding mix, cookie crumbs, and rolled Tootsie Rolls.

(Reminds me of the violin virtuoso who played in the subway and no one figured out who he was... )

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterQue Sara Lee

I'm pretty sure that last one is a dress with a white bodice and pink skirt, with a bow tied at the waist.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

That looks more like a lion than a monkey.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterQue Sara Lee

Mo-om, Jen is making funny observations about bad cakes again!

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

The black and white one looks like the man on the Pringles can

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPammy

Why is that duckie upside down on a gingerbread man, and thank goodness there's a flower covering his gingerbread man parts!

What's up with the green nipple cake?

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

If that compost cake had been ordered, for um, earth day or recycling day or some sort of garden farming group, it would have been a pretty good cake. At least it looks like a compost cake!

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTanya L

Mooooooooooooooooooom, Jen's making a Cakewrecks sequence!

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Sad part is I think I can I.d the last one as a pikeman ball O_o

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I kinda love the compost cake.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterElissa

Thank you, Jen for a new ear worm - I looked up the Phineas & Ferb theme... am I the only one who didn't know it?
My brother Mark would have enjoyed that wrasslin' cake, even (or especially?!) with the added decoration, and he used to have a stuffed monkey not unlike the cake - OK, the toy wasn't smoking anything!
You know, take away the "compost" sign, and the first one doesn't look too wrecky; after all, Dirt Dessert is pretty yummy.
#9: I guess when ET finally phoned home, his sister answered. Either that, or Janis from The Muppet Show band found her old school picture.
Looks as if Miss Finklestein needs a Monkey Hour... and the pink-and-purple monster CCC has been there for about 59 minutes!

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjuice

Last cake, rabbit in a bow tie?
Other than that !?!?!?!?

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGina

I really like the compost cake! It might be an odd subject, but I think it's really well done . . . it reminds me of those ice cream "dirt" sundaes that you can get at some shops that have the gummy worms and cookie crumbs on top.

The Mrs. Finkelstein cake looks like a Roz Chast drawing. She's one of my favorite cartoonists, but I wouldn't want to eat her head.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Bad airbrushing and wonky anatomy aside, I rather like the formal crab. But if I had to choose one of these to take home and serve to friends, it would definitely be Mrs. Brown Squareface. How did her face get into such shape? I think the bits of bone poking out through the skin between her large lips and even larger (!) eyes tell part of the story, but leave out the part about her runaway nose, which was evidently the most crucial part of her facial infrastructure.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSamorama

The duck-faced, flower-crotched gingerbread man confuses and scares me.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

If you look at the label, #3 (the thing that doesn't exist,) may well be a Rachel Dolezal cake. It used to be something else, but they crossed it out and now it's white...

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I like the compost cake. It is not a wreck - very well done, although a rather off-beat subject. As others have said, it's similar to the dirt cakes that were all the rage for a while. Hmmm. That does make me wonder how long it's been on display.

The crab cake is very "Baltimore". A cross between Natty Boh (the National Bohemian trade mark) and our famous Chesapeake Bay crabs, even if crabs aren't exactly what you'd serve at a formal affair.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

That smoking monkey cake could cause some serious psychological damage. Especially if you served to people who are smoking illegal substances. That's why I love it!

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Look at me singing yet another Cake Wrecks post. Perfect captioning as always. :-)

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Love how it was to the tune of the phineas and ferb theme song

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

The monkey cake is actually pretty well constructed. I wish I could see a front-on view, because I can't tell if those are bananas on either side of his face or he's making obscene finger gestures while smoking his, ahem, "cigarette."

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJan's Sushi Bar

The last one is a dress (think Pinterest). The compost cake, tho unsettling, is very well done. But... is that monkey's little fingers doing something rude?!

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterValarie

Is the smoking monkey cake flipping us the bird? Maybe I just expect that kind of behavior from smoking monkeys and those are just regular monkey fingers doing not naughty monkey finger things. But I've got my eye on him anyhow.
To juice, yes, you're the only one who hadn't heard it. My teenagers just informed me that Disney is ending that show and they are devastated, and they've been out of Disney channel for a while now. We record it, it's hilarious.
By the way, Where's Perry?

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

I think the last one's a tutu.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNorseArcher

The bottom one looks like a poor attempt and a girls cupcake dress. I've seen them done very well. But this ain't one of them.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Miss Paper, you gave me a huge laugh! I thought it was a pineapple upside-down cake wannabe!

I don't think the compost cake is wrecky; I think it's clever! I might change the wording on the sign to something else, but it reminds me of a child's "dirt cake", the one where you make the dirt from chocolate cookies and pudding. I have a good friend who's a gardening enthusiast and I think she might get a big smile from seeing such a cake.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

I can't help it. The first cake makes me think of this:
http://www.eclectech.co.uk/compostbin.php

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPeepBunny

What Nagzilla said! I was wondering if I was the only one who noticed it was an upside down gingerbread man!

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCajun2core

I actually think the compost cake was well executed....the others....well.......

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn

*laugh* I broke the "No eating while checking Cake Wrecks" rule... I'll be picking crumbs out of the keyboard for a while! =-)

All I see in the last one is a partially-exploded Pokemon ball.

And I can now add the Phineas and Ferb theme song to the long list of amusing things to which Cake Wrecks has introduced me

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

I've never seen this Phineas & Ferb show so maybe I'm missing out on a joke, but I'm assuming the "Miss Finklestein" caption is referencing "Dharma Freedom Finklestein", and that the cake is actually a terrible rendition of Jenna Elfman.
In any case I think $3.11 is still over-priced for it.

The monkey (actually I think it's an orangutan) cake isn't so bad in itself, but the cigarette seems an odd inclusion & it's flipping the double-bird. That's just inappropriate.

The thing-that-doesn't-exist confounds me. First of all what is it even supposed to be? Second, it has perfect skillfully piped ringlets, while the face looks like it was drawn by a five-year-old on a sugar-high. Was it decorated by two people, one person with a split personality, or did the decorator do one part of the cake, take a "recreational substance" break, then come back and do the face?

I actually like the upside-down-Pringles-man-in-a-tux-crab.

The loco face label says it's a "sht decorated" cake, I couldn't agree more.

The "square of green with yellow blossoms on a field of pink sadness" cookie is yet another case against legalizing marijuana.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Ms. Finklestein was supposed to be moved up to news, which is really her forte'.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAnni

I love that you did this to the Phineas and Ferb theme! It makes me think you are even MORE awesome!!

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Phineas and Ferb for the win! I recognized the theme song immediately. :)

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSusieQ_1994

I was already setting this to the Phineas and Ferb theme when I came across 'Discovering something that doesn't exist' and realized that had been intentional. One of the reasons why I like this site; your brains run as oddly as mine does. Thanks for all the laughs and the fun ear worm for the day. ^_^

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

I feel like the compost one would be totally appropriate for my husband. And if you could see our garden, you would, too.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJennwith2ns

Thank you from the bottom of my pointy headed heart for using Phineas and Ferb theme. It made me smile more than usual and here I was secretly thinking I was the only adult who watched it!!! Maybe I am in the UK but hey Phineas and Ferb and cake...the combo of my day

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterZiggyrizz

The last one is a dress. I don't know why, but a larger version of that cake sold like gangbusters at the Hellmart I worked at.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSpamamander

Thumbs up!!

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArul

Did anyone else notice that more than one of these beauties is marked down? Anyone wonder why???

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStarrgirl

Oh... oh dear....I cannot help but look at the upside-down gingerbread man with the duck perched on his face and hearing a bizarre joke:

"What do you get when you cross a gingerbread man and a duck?"

"Nothing..."

You'll have to fill in the rest of the joke's "answer" line for yourself. I can't, for the life of me, think of a way to end it that is not *at least* R-rated.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

thanks for putting the phineas and ferb title song in my brain.

July 21, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterjane lewis

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