My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

CSI: Crime Scene Icers

[gritty narrator's voice] "In the city, crime doesn't take a holiday."


Well, well, well. Looks like these two are... [SUNGLASSES]

...snow more.

Or maybe "put on ice?" Yeah.


And this guy just... [SUNGLASSES]... snapped.

Wait, no. Lost his head.
Flipped his lid!
Somebody bit his head off!



[putting glasses back on]

Well this here is...

WHOA. What is wrong with people??


So you'll just have to... BEAR with me.



[deep breath] [shaking out arms]
Ok, I've totally got this next one. I'm ready. Somebody set me up!

"The reindeer led us straight to him, sir."

"AHA! That's because Rudolph the Red knows [SUNGLASSES] 'slain', dear."

Hang on, my timing felt wrong.
Should I do the sunglasses after 'Red'? Or after 'slain'?

Hey, why are you scrolling down?



Oh fine.


Well, the good news is, we found the murder weapon.

I guess you could say they... [SUNGLASSES]... had a good run.

You know, because running with scissors...? OH NEVER MIND.
There's no need to get snippy.


Thanks to Shannon H., Laura, Joshua K., & Mindy C. for keeping your cutting remarks to a minimum.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And on my other blog, Epbot:

« It's The Most Wreckiest Time... | Main | Sunday Sweets With Christmas Cheer »

Reader Comments (23)

Today's post just killed me. (Now how to type that awful screeching noise they play in the opening CSI:Miami credits...)

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

Hilarious post! You made my day. :)

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I couldn't see anything wrong with the polar bears.
Just saw contented bears, smiling peacefully upward toward the light over their left shoulders.
Wearing red scarves.
And then I saw it.
And now I can't un-see it.
Darn you, CakeWrecks.
Time to go into Fargo mode:
"And for what? Just for a little money. There's more to life than money. Don't you know that? And here it's a beautiful day. I just don't understand..."

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

"...boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart..."

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMinda

I've been a fan since your first day--I look in almost every day, in fact. And I do check in at every bakery or bakery department that I happen to pass, just to see the wrecks.

The thing that I've noticed is that no matter how ugly, no matter how horrible, how disgusting, how broken, or how smashed a wreck may be, it's never discounted!

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKOJohnson

Horatio Cake?

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I busted out laughing and startled the cat.

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Well, to be fair, that first one IS labeled a "snowman massacre carrot cake," so it is exactly what it says it is. And a bargain at $3, besides!

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

Those Starbucks polar bear cookies have been off the market for 2 years now. If you look at what's pretty obviously a red scarf and see a slit throat, that really says a lot more about you than the decorator. On the other hand, I suspect the first one was a mistake that they ran with. I wonder if anyone was willing to fork over $3 for a "snowman massacre carrot cake."

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCandy

I must admit I had to take a second look before seeing the creepy side of the bear cookies.
@AngelaS: I suggest "The Who guitar riff". The song is "Won't Get Fooled Again", by The Who.
@Candy: Maybe years of CW are taking their toll, but once you see slit throats, you cannot see red scarves again. :-)

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAthena

Oh, just cut it out!
So many crimes committed just for dough; so much pain by abuse of the pipe(ing bag). Cookies, cakes, none stand a chance when the days grow short and the nights grow long...that's when Santa (the evil wreckerator)slays.

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

I would totally pay $3 for that carrot cake! Unless it contained nuts. Finally, someone does indeed discount a wreck. How in the heck did they not notice the decapitation of the gingerbread man in wreck #2.

I had the same experience as @Persephone with the polar bear cookies. "What's wrong with these? They're polar bears. They're cute! Wait! Wha....? Ewwww! Polar bear slashing!"

That last wreck is one of the ugliest things I've ever seen! It looks like the ghost of Snuffleupagus after he was massacred.

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

"Snowman Massacre"??? All can I see are white teddy bears with canes and tophats. Maybe the Wreckerators thought that massacred snowmen were more appetizing than massacred teddy bears?

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

In my Starbucks 'market', which is Seattle, home of the Starbucks mothership, those slain snowman polar bear cookies are available in every outlet I visit, (which is far, far too many,) right here in 2015. Unless they're sold out for the day. Up here in the soggy, dark dank of the Pacific Northwest, we go in for things like that.

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered Commenternanalettie

Because of the way the first one is presented, it looks more like a school bake sale item than a professional wreck. I still do not see slit polar bear throats. I guess it comes from never watching CSI

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Somebody please help me ... what was the last cake supposed to be portraying anyway. I'm stumped.

But I thought that the little gingerbread man cake would have been darn cute if the poor little sucker hadn't lost his head.

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

Your puns are shear torture.

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Love your comments! The first one is a crime against marshmallow peeps. Someone out an APB out on that baker and arrest him/her. They should be considered armed (with a piping bag) and dangerous (to the sanity and eyes of the public).

December 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

Hmm couldn't find any Polar Bears at my Starbucks lol. Now I can see why I didn't. Scary now that I can't unsee that I must look at Sunday Sweets to try and not see the rest of these lol.

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Snowman massacre cake for three bucks? I'm in!

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

@Mary Kay, don't know if you're checking back today, but I think that last one is supposed to be a bow. A veeerrrryyyy badly done bow.

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Thank you for giving me belly laughs every time I check in! I found you by accident, and had no idea this level of cake wreckage existed... 6 months later, I am hooked. My family hears me cackling and immediately asks, 'are you looking at those cakes again?'

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

@ Jodi, thanks so much. I THINK I see a bow--LOL. Happy Holidays!

December 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

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