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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Sep092014

Swing And A "Mist"

We here at Cake Wrecks know parting can be such sweet sorrow.

So here are 9 cakes to ruin the moment.

 

Oh great, here come the water works.

 

Maybe it's wissful thinking, but Luek sounds hot.

 

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

 

This wreck is evil, like the "furits" of the "Dve-il."

(Also, at first I thought that said "you will be missiled," and it was the happiest dang .85 seconds of my entire day. DOWN IN FRONT!)

 

Here's a fun party trick: read this cake out loud and you'll have an INSTANT southern accent:

Well I declare, Colonel Angus!

 

Definitely more than one "miss" in this room:

Now that's what I call "a balloon drop!"

 

I think this says, "Uoull gustly be mirrd Lt page!!"

Quick, someone look up how to say "God bless you" in Klingon.

 

"Remelering" sounds painful. Can't we just stick with one of those awkward handshake-pulling-into-a-half-hug-with-a-back-slap things?

 

And last but not least:

YOU'RE WELCOME.

 

Thanks to Joan D., Adrienne T., Katie N., Mackenzie B., Shannon C., Kenlyn F., Alyssa P., Mary K., & Frankie Z., who looks forward to seeing you all next Fall.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (72)

Well done today, Jen. Well done.
That last cartoon was ...... is it ironic on this site to say it was the icing on the cake?? :-)

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

It also would have been awesome if Suzanne was destined to be misled. Alas, seems she's on the right path.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Seriously, is English a second language for these people - or is our educational system in worse shape than we all thought?

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I hope you have that grate trip copyrighted because it is freakin' awesome!

They got congraulations right, but not retirement?!

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterrob333

That last cake ("Have a grate trip~see you next Fall!") should be dedicated to Edvard Munch.
=^-.-^=

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

*wipes tears as she quietly bwee-hee-hees in her cube* Is it me, or does the pink & blue balloon cake need to come with its own 'womp-womp' sound effect? Like those cards that you try to read at an awkward angle because every time you open them properly they start playing some horrible MIDI-esque rendition of AC/DC and....I digress. Carry on.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

Sung to "So Long, Farewell"

So wrong, misspelled, but surely you'll be mist
We Wiss you, Luek. It's true! I do insist.

[insert da da refrain here]

Spelled wrong, fear well, Katie, this is goodbye
At least Suzanne gets furits. That's no lie.

[insert da da refrain here]

Ah do declaya, retariment congrats
You WILL be miss before balloons go spla -at

[insert da da refrain here]

Uoull gustly be mirrd Lt page
DuHoSmoHjaj qeylIS, at your age

[insert da da refrain here]

Remelering you, sounds painful, but don't flip
I'm sure that you'll be having a grate trip!

[insert da da refrain here]

These cakes are wrecks, I cannot tell a lie
But they're marked down, so they are all good buys
Good buys. Good buys. [soprano] Good buuuuyyyyssss!

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

It's worse than you thought, Lady Anne.


You will be misled
unless you heed my warning:
fear well the floor's grate.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Fear well that ye not be gustly mirrd,
For we'll be remelering thee.
Trip not on yonder grate,
Nor eat of labors furits;
For if ye do, ye will be missiled and surely turn to mist...

Take heed, this be the curse of the hapless decorator, one for whom retariment nary comes soon enough....

My spell checker just self-destructified!

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

For those who remember the eighties, "Missing You."

Every time I see these cakes, I just can't catch my breath
And I’m just feeling bad, for those going away
(I’m not wonderin’ why they left)
And there’s a storm that’s raging in my spell check app tonight

Remeler Kate, always so fearful, and Suzanne as she retares
I hope that Page practiced her Klingon or that cake will be driving her wild
And there’s a lack of talent that’s apparent both day and night

I mist spelling most of all, since it’s been gone away
Missile spelling that appalls, there’s just no other way

There’s a message that they’re tryin’ to send, but it’s all been gustly mrrd
And these wisses that they’re sending are the worst I’ve ever heard

I mist spelling most of all, since it’s been gone away
Missile spelling that appalls, there’s just no other way

...and I'm sorry about yesterday. Really, really sorry...

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Colonel Angus.....LOL

One of many funny SNL skits created by funny (and raunchy) women.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCC

At least Katie is given 3 Best Wishes!

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDorothy

Okay, is the 3st cake FROM Katie? Because that's what it looks like, although I do believe the comma was an attempt at proper grammar...:-/ ooph-da

And Suzanne shouldn't be missiled, but the wreckorator definitely should be!!!

@Sharyn: you put in the Klingon!!! Awesome!!! And we get a SONG TOO!!! YAY!!! Did you have extra coffee this morning???

Now to wait for mel and sending, Jodee and oh my, we are getting too many clever people on here to keep track of them all!!! That's okay, I'ma still hang out here anyway, because I loooove you guys <hic>...<snort>

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

Okay, on the 6rd cake- is that a quotation mark before the word Miss? Because it does NOT match those little sprinkle discs on the cake in size or color, if it IS a quotation mark, um....is there another cake not in the photo that has the rest of the message on it? Like maybe a "Miss You-Will-Regret-Leaving-Us-Until-The-Day-You-Die" kind of message? If that is NOT the case...why the h&*^%$)(%%$ would you put only ONE quotation mark? To maybe demonstrate what one looks like? To use as a place holder until you re-read the customer request card that told you what to write, only to find that it didn't have anything on it?
OOOHHHH!!!! I KNOW!!! It's a new kind of poetry or a new fangled way of writing....
Haiku Joy-any input would be much "appreciated.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

Totally had So I Married An Axe Murderer going off in my head when I saw the "Furits" cake then I read your commentary under it and broke into applause.

Cake number two (he he, I said number two) should be read wiss a French accent.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Sharyn~ That was so cool! (It makes me want to watch that classic movie "The Sound of Being Seasick" again...!)
=^~.-^=

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

SNERK!!! Oh my........

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

I think the second-last one is more like "Rendering you". Which is really no better than the other possibilities..

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

@Sharyn: I think that's my favorite CW song . Thanks.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBob

Klingons do not say "God bless you" Klingons killed off their gods when they got too troublesome.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlizvocal

Are those swirly things on the first cake supposed to be music notes? If they are, then they've fallen flat.

And I would fear well, too, if I got a cake with that black thing that's lurking on Katie's cake. YIKES!!!!

My favorite, though, is the retariment cake. Because you can see where the wreckerator tried to correct a previous error in the writing. How much worse can it get?

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

That last image is PERFECT XD. How low have we fallen when we cannot even get simple words correct? D:

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

"You will be mist" sounds extremely threatening. Perhaps this person is also going to be missiled?

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

Am I the only one who sees two eyes in the flowers on the "Fear Well" cake? I think that's what we're to fear!

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKA

These are hilarious. I had a near-wreck recently when my son graduated from high school. The bakery called to confirm what I wanted to say on the cake, because the elderly woman who had taken the order over the phone had written down, "Congratulations Pod The castle is worth the hassle." It should have read "Congratulations TODD The tassel is worth the hassle." I thought about letting it go through but didn't want to traumatize my son on his special day. Still, it would have been funny. The bakery actually said, "We don't want to end up on Cakewrecks, so we thought we had better call and check this." So, my son thanks you for the rescue.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTerri U

Dear Jen and John,
I just read the jellyfishing blog entry, so I wanted to step back from the usual hilarity and let you know that the furits of your labors have brought us so much joy over the last few years. I know I speak for many when I wiss you many more years of success. Remeler--we come for the witty text, but stay for the grate commentary. You do have the best--and most articulate--fans of the entire interweb. Don't let these recent unpleasantries tempt you into retariment. Just remeler how much you would be mist if you quit.
Fear well and best wishes.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

I appreciated the fact that the music notes on the first cake were also backwards. Those were supposed to be notes, right?

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterO. Laun

Am I really the first dirty mind to go there? Cake #1 has cherries on it. It has to be a lost virginity cake...

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered Commenternmn

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September 9, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkhushboo

Misspelled cakes are my favorite, right after the ones where the baker wrote the instructions on the cake, and the really, really good cakes on Sunday. Ok, so misspelled cakes are my third favorite. I don't know why I felt compelled to share that with you. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. I feel better now.

Thank you for the hint on the pink and blue blobs "on the ground." I was trying to figure out what they were that they would be topped with curly, black hair extensions.

Fun song, Sharyn.
Beautiful poem, Haiku Joy.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJake and Me

You missed a great opportunity to write "Your welcome". Luckily, similar opportunities will likely arise soon...

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCrowbar

I -think- "Uoull gustly be mirrd Lt page!!" translates to "You'll greatly be missed Lt. Page!!". Even so, awful grammar.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSara

1rd ~ Is it a little foggy in here?
2th ~ Whomever wissed on Luek better clean it up! Your mother doesn't work here!
3nd ~ My bosses name is Katti but lots of people misspell it. Lots of people fear her, too!
4st ~ Suzanne got missiled by furits of her labor. Childbirth is rough!
5nd ~ I need to add a little something to my work outfit to make it more southern. Quick! Somebody hand me the curtain! (Points if you get that!)
6rd ~ Well, ummm... at least the balloons don't look like sperm!
7st ~ Now I know why @Sharyn's search engine is filled with French advertisements!
8rd ~ My meler is just fine thanks. I don't even have a cold!
9nd ~ Nothing I can say about this is as good as Jen.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

These were the BEST! Well done!

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisaMarie Jenssen

These were the BEST! Well done!

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisaMarie Jenssen

@VaBeach alemaP: I don't think that little thingy's a quotation mark. I think it's a booger. (I'll admit that I WANT it to be a booger, but I know it'snot.) =^-.-^=

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

That last cake goes well with this story.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBob

"Colonel Angus"?!?! *crying*

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStL Mom

You've got it all wrong... that cake says "Renelering You" (remember, a cursive "m" has 3 humps) obviously meant for someone that just had a kidney procedure. Still painful though. ;)

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

"You're the Best! You Will Be Mist!" = "We Have Determined By Process of Elimination That Your Profile Meets Our Program Requirements. Please Ingest This Congratulatory Baked Delicacy and Prepare To Be Vaporized"

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDonnaB

These are all sad...

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Thanks Sharyn. I could not read your efforts without singing the whole da da refrain in between each verse! LOL

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaryl

I chuckled at seeing the Lt. Page cake was a "manager's special." Ya think?!

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

I thought of a grate comment about the retariment cake. I wiss I could remeler what it was.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

On the 8st cake, if I'm reading the "cursive" correctly, that technically says "Renelering". Terrifying. I shall now go hide behind the couch with my rabid toddler and preschooler.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheExtraJen

I think the awkward handshake pulled into a half-hug with a back slap thing deserves it's own name, so perhaps we should just start calling it a "Remelering" = problem solved! Now c'mere and let me remeler you!

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

@VaBeach alemaP: hello, and sorry not to post today...an all-night thunder and lightening storm not only kept me awake, but also shorted out my muse, and there's a possibility of a repeat tonight. (And, I don't always comment every day.) But the great thing about CW is that we can always count on the madcap posts of Jen and john(thoJ) to make us laugh, and then we can enjoy so many talented commenters here. It warms the cockles of my heart to see so many people having fun! Thanks for thinking of me.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

<I>Mist</I> is the German for manure, as Rolls-Royce found out in 1964 when planning to call their new model the Silver Mist.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

@Caroline B. - That was beautiful, just beautiful.
And so much more than these cakes deserved.

September 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

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