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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Sep262014

8 Cake Love Notes Gone Wrong

It's National Love Note Day, but don't be boring and write an actual note; order a cake, instead!

Bakers are standing by to tell your sweetheart how you really feel, using one of these convenient, pre-selected designs!

Just choose from:

The Boxer:

Don't forget the wine to go with all that cheese!

 

The Pictionary:

(Sorry, Carol can't draw sheep.)

 

The Shining:

All work and no cake decorating makes Jack a dull boy!

 

The Foreshadowing:

o.0

 

The Hidden Message:

If only that heart was upside down. IF ONLY.

 

The "Keeping It Casual":

Or, since I see no comma, The "Keeping It Cannibal!"
BahahahaaaaEW.

 

The "Kenya West":

"Now THAT'S lov..." [mic snatched out of hand]

"Imma let you finish, but 'Kenya' is one of the best Kanye misspellings of all time."

 

And finally, our best seller!

The Silver Lining:

 

Thanks to Rebecca C., Beth P., Mary R., Andrew B., Kelsey B., Lisa D., Heather R., & Shaunna R. for hitting all the wrong notes.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (32)

I <3 U Truly (Traditional, yo)

These make me truly, truly snear
Be-decked with words Kenya longs to hear
If you don’t stand up, he’ll threaten you dear
Just tell him kindly, “kiss my rear.”

The words are smarmy. The message bores
Just ask dear Becca who sprawled on the floor
A simple love note should bring one cheer
So I <3 U I love you I <3 U I love you
I <3 U I love you I <3 U I <3 U
I love you I <3 U I love you I <3 U
Truly dear

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Sung to "The Love Boat Theme"

Love, exciting to chew.
Need a note? We're expecting you.
Cake. Life's sweetest reward.
Have a piece, oh, you knockout, you.
Cake Love Notes. Jen will be making some funny puns.
Cake Love Notes. Promising wreckage for everyone.
Kinda glad they can't draw sheep.
My mind made a sick tangent...
Love, can't fit anymore.
Time to scrape Becca off the office floor.
Yes, Love! It's Love!
Cake love note, passive aggressively kiss my... what?
Cake love notes. Ask nongrammatically, "What's up?"
Kanye's got a new venture
He's changing his name, perchance.
At least, she's got looks galore.
Personality... is just SUCH a chore.
Cake LOVE!!!! Cake LOVE!!!! Cake LOVE!!!!
Buy some LOVE!!!!!

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Wow; with "love notes" like these, who needs Hullmurk? THESE are for those who "...care enough to send the very least (appetizing)".
"Cake" 1.I'll see your wine and cheese, and raise you one corn pone.
2. See? That's why ewe can't get gouda help these days. That's shear ridiculousness.
3.Red ruin! Red ruin!
4.Heh, heh...because there're only 6 floors in the building.
5.I see what you mean, but I think that upside-down, it would just look like a big old scab on the butt.
6.The HallMarc cake-for when you don't care enough to send something legible.Or, in light of Jen's reference, how about "the Keeping it Hannibal"?
7. East is east and west is west, and never the twain shall meet..uh...an uglier cake?
8. best seller "your pretty" A$$!
Oh, and @ SuBee~ *Sniff* (I always cry at wreckings....)
@ Sharyn~ Love the song, but is there a hidden message in there?(Inquiring minds may need to know...
-which leaves ME out! (I'm a pop-culture drop-out!) =^~.-^=

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Cool! Looks like the Kanye West love cake comes with its own image-destruction. That's not a wreck, that's just honesty!

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

These made me smile on a perfectly awful morning. Thanks :)

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterChug

The recipient of the last cake may be pretty; however, this cake is NOT. Unless it's chocolate. That might help.

@Sharyn and SuBee: Genius as always!

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

The good luck cake makes me wonder what's in store... the kiss my cake is just funny :D and sharyn as usual is perfect XD

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Thanks for getting that earworm of a song in my head. Look up "Silver Lining Hurts" on YouTube. Seriously.

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

Your pretty what!?!

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMia

Ha! Valentine's day is only 5 months away, and I've got my gift plan already!

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Wow, the third cake immediately reminded me of this song by Meredith Brooks:

http://youtu.be/Syhw5PRIdw

Which I first heard on my first anniversary (that I still think of as "Looking For Lodging In All The Wrong Places"), a disastrous attempt by DH to be spontaneous and fun but that eventually simply taught us the importance of RESERVING YOUR ROOMS. During that horrendous, seemingly endless trip up and down the Oregon Coast, this was the only music in the car. We played her album over and over and OVER.

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Love note day? Well, here’s my musical “pitch” to all the wonderful ladies from the Cake Wrecks, from the CW team to the CW commenters. I’ve “noted” this – you are

Always

Brilliantly

Comedic

Daily;

Entertaining,

Funny,

Great!

Thanks so much for making this the fantastically funny place it is! May your wit always B sharp….

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Kanye/Kenya aside, solely for sentiments expressed, Cake #6 FTW.

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterrolypolyducky

I bet Becca is either a new nurse or else transferring from one nursing area (like ICU) to another (commonly called "the floor"). Good luck either way Becca!

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTamiko

Bwah ha ha ha ha! That tartlet and your wish about it make my day!

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Kiss My what???

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSophia W.

Anyone else wondering what 'The Shining' cake originally said? And why is it blurry in some spots?
Also, why exactly is Becca going to be on the floor? Did she get a promotion, as in working the sales/show floor or is she in trouble, as in she will be sleeping on the floor somewhere?

I'm assuming the recipients of such cakes get a laught out of them (and hopefully some tastey cake).

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

Anyone else wondering what 'The Shining' cake originally said? And why is it blurry in some spots?
Also, why exactly is Becca going to be on the floor? Did she get a promotion, as in working the sales/show floor or is she in trouble, as in she will be sleeping on the floor somewhere?

I'm assuming the recipients of such cakes get a laught out of them (and hopefully some tastey cake).

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

@rolypolyducky: Agreed. In a way, this is the worst kind of wreck, one that ruins a perfectly good original idea rather than a generic sentiment you could get from anywhere.

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPocket

I actually thought for the first one you were going to comment on the "cuz you're a knockout" line. Cuz, as in short for cousin? And all that that implies...

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I see some others had some issues with double posting ... my browser went wacky in the middle, and I see my correction (#6 should be #7 of course!) didn't make it through. Ah well. Life in the internets.

Now I want cake. As is often the case after visiting here ... laughing makes me hongry. For CAKE.

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterrolypolyducky

@mel: I don't know why, but your praise fell flat* to me. Maybe you should see the staff* at Tinker, I hear they help folks with treble*. Careful though, lawyers are expensive and will need a time signature*. It could be key* to improvement!

(Tongue firmly in cheek; mel is brilliant!)

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

@ScaperMama: I’m so sorry that my praise fell flat* for you. I guess writing praise is not my forte*. I didn’t have much time to write it – I did it in just a minuet*. Plus, I wasn’t feeling well -- my head is stuffed – I think I have a coda*. Also, I was in a hurry to go out for lunch because I was meeting my sister for a slice of pizzi-cato* and I said I’d meter* by 11:30. (She likes the square kind, but I like it more rondo*.) Now I’m feeling beat* so I think I’ll just head out to the bar* and try to compose* myself. Hopefully, next week my posts will be more trilling*. In the meantime, I’ll talk to the people at Tinker – I certainly could use a measure* of improvement.
(ps – thanks, and your comment was nicely done)

September 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Ah I so needed the laughs today thanks :D. Though I too wish that one tart was upside down lol.

September 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Bad Witch: I'll get you, my pretty! Mwahahahah!

Passing Pedant: Your pretty what? Please, madam, if you are issuing curses, at least specify a noun!

Bad Witch: So sorry, I meant "You're pretty...AS A FROG!"

Pedant: Did you mean "You're AS pretty AS a frog?

Bad Witch: <waving wand> No.

Pedant: Croak.

September 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAA

Mmm, tarts trying to express romantic sentiments. Oh, if only there were a joke in that. <teenage snickering>

On a related note, one of the girls I knew at boarding school used to answer the common room phone with "Hi, you have reached the <school name> bakery. Which tart would you like?"

September 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAA

kayne west cake looks good

September 27, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterandrea

Astericks aside,
it's too bad the tart isn't
upside-down. Kinky.

September 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

@AA - LOL - nice one!

September 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Cake 4: what the heck is a seven loor?

September 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWolverine Girl

"At Least You're Pretty"?! Woah, talk about instant breakup!

November 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterColorPop17

Wreck #3 was a quote from "Singin' in the Rain," the movie, not the song.

January 31, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterrrt

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