Merci!
August 27, 2014 Have you heard of the Croquembouche [CROCK-you-EAM-butchy]? It's a French thing.
Well, if not, here's what it's supposed to look like:
;)
So kinda like old, cobweb-wrapped monkey bread. But in a yummy way.
Well, a certain anonymous person - who shall remain unnamed to protect her anonymity - found this gem at a wedding which she may or may not have anonymously attended:
;)
I believe her exact words were, "it looks like some kind of primitive jungle cake being attacked by a swarm of lactating spider-wasps."
;)
Mmmm, lactating spider-wasps...
Well, uh, Jane D. [wink wink], thanks for putting a new spin on these things.
Note: I think it's important to ask yourself a couple of questions before commenting here on Cake Wrecks:
Question: Did Jen and john really intend to give us the pronunciation of a word?
Answer: No.
Question: Are Jen and john complete and total idiots?
Answer: No.
Question: Do they...
Answer: No.
Question: Would they...
Answer: No.
Question: What about...
Answer: No.
That is all.
*****
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Reader Comments (97)
Merci Beaucoup -- that's pronounced "murky buckets."
I'll stick with Michael Pollan's "Don't eat anything you can't pronounce" rule. :)
So the whole deal with croquembouche is you pull one of the cream puffs off and have that instead of a slice of cake.
How are you supposed to get to the cream puffs through the veil of tears?
Also, dI'd Miss Havisham finally get married? was the wedding at Grey Gardens?
That may be my favorite wreck ever. I actually would like it as a centerpiece for my kitchen table. Kind of a modern art/primitive jungle nightmare theme.
Now just to work that pronunciation into my conversation today.
We make a cute baby shower version with duckies....we call it a quackeumbusche
Looks like it got attacked by web worms. YUCK
"lactating spider-wasps"
Hahahahahahaha!!!! Perfect description!
Also -- HRK -- what an unappetizing cake
Ah yes, the great croaky bush pronunciation debacle of 2013, I remember it well....good times....
I'm not sure something isn't about to hatch out of that pulsating egg sac - I've seen Arachnophobia, I know what happens next, with the biting and the screaming and the dying. It needs John Goodman with his big boots and his squirty gun to save the day!
[Editor's note- It was actually 2009! 5 years ago but it seems like yesterday. Man, I feel old... john (the hubby of Jen)]
I would just say that cake's a croq....
I think I found that thing in the bottom picture in the basement once. I called the exterminator.
i would not go anywhere NEAR that thing. looks like something you would find in the corner of a dank, dark basement. ewww.
Meh, I've never found the croquembouche a very attractive pastry anyway. At least you don't have to worry about horrible misspellings or head-smacking grammar errors. Just spider invasions.
For a second I thought the close-up picture showed a many legged grey Tarantula about to enter the "cake" from the left. FWEW! It was only a silver bow on a gift. Arachniphobic chills subsiding now.
If croquembouche means "throw up in your mouth" then they all look the way they're supposed to look!
And S'il vus plait is pronounced Seafood plate (my French teacher used to joke about this).
The real thing isn't really all that attractive either....
Sharyn: There's a town in Southern Illinois. The sign outside of town says Beaucoup. They pronounce it "buck-ooo". They know it's wrong and just don't care. :)
Well, they sure got the "croak" part right with this wreck!
Also, I don't know which made me laugh harder -- the wreck or the commentary after regarding Jen and John!
Let me add: Jen, you're pronouncing your naaame all wrooong! It's "Jehn" not the highfalootin' French "Zhen."
Tryyyyy to get that right, okay? :P Oh, and I'm Suuuuuurrree that's supposed to be pronounced "cheeken morte shrub" as well. Do try to get it right next time. Or, I'll simply HAVE to patronize a better class of website.
It's like it was made especially for me. They look like, well, creepy tribbles.
If that was in a video game, I'm pretty sure it would birth a boss monster. One of the really gross ones with acid spittle that causes DOT and ALWAYS goes after the healer first.
And I'm pretty sure it would be a lactating spider-wasp, because that's my new favorite thing
Of course you know that isn't the real pronunciation. Everyone knows it's "crow-KWEE-muh-BAUW-chee." Duh.
My husband swears that there's a town in Alaska that the people voted to name Ptarmigan but no one could spell it, so they called it "Chicken" instead. He would never lie.
I think Shelob is looking for her eggs.
2009??!!! I've been following Cake Wrecks for over 5 years? Surely it's time you invited me round for tea...but no crockery ambush for me, I'll just have a biscuit.
Reminds me of a joke:
2 blondes driving through Florida arguing over how to pronounce "Kissimmee". One states pronounced "Kiss-Ah-me" the other "Kiss-IH-me". They pull into a fast food place and ask the guy at the window to very slowly and clearly pronounce where they are. Guy responds with "Buuuurrr--guuuurrrr Kiiiiii-nnngggg".
@Pagopago -- I'll be darned. Your husband is RIGHT (cause I read it on the internet, and the internet doesn't lie) Chicken - Ptarmigan Alaska
Jus' anotha example of how high falutin' intellectual you cake wreckies are. Goin' all French an' stuff. (For those of you who don't parle francais, I dropped the last letters ON porpoise)
@Minda: Here in Colorado, they specialize in mangling pronunciations. The next town over is Louisville (pronounced Lewisville;) Lyons is "lions" (and tigers and bears, oh my!) and -- my personal favorite -- Buena Vista is "byoona vista." We also have Table Mesa, which translates as "table table." I guess that's where you eat Pizza Pizza.
I live in Louisville Kentucky and we pronounce it "Lou-a-vul". We can tell which people are transplants, the prounce it Louie - ville.
There is also a town in Kentucky named "Versailles" and they pronounce it "Ver-sales". Its such a beautiful name and so so butchered.
Sharyn, had I realized you lived in Colorado I'd have waved while there this summer in Leadville (pronounced" gasping for breath from the altitude".)
Somehow croquembouche has reminded me of Siyahamba kukhenyeni kwenkhos, so here goes:
to the tune of "Si-ya-ham-ba kuk-hen-ye-ni kwen-khos"
Crouqe-em-bouch-e', see the spiders lactate,
see the spiders lactate on the cake.
Crouqe-em-bouch-e', see the spiders lactate,
see the spiders lactate on the cake.
We are watching, we are watching them crawl
we are watching them crawl over all.
We are watching, we are watching them weave,
we are watching them weave and we grieve.
Crouqe-em-bouch-e', must you be such a fail?
Must you cause the sweet bride such a wail?
Crouqe-em-bouch-e', must you be such a fail?
Quickly cover this mess with a veil!
I dunno, I gotta say, I don't know that it's that much worse than the picture of what it's supposed to be like. More enthusiastically bad, yes, but still...
@JamieJo, you made me laugh out loud on a teleconference. And it is not a funny teleconference.
OOoops
Sharyn, there is a road nearby named Plateau Road. In true Southern style, we call it "PLA-taw" Road.
Looks like prison of balls, with a gilded cage :P
Pardon eh mooahhh....You need to change the name of that Lactating Wasp mess to "neerleepeedemmois" becuase I nearly peed myself laughing at everyone's comments. Omg, not a good thing while you're at work, lol. Thanks all, you never disappoint! Luv CW and all it's followers. LOL
Ah, local Shibboleths and regional pronunciations...
We had them in St. Louis when I was at Wash U, we have them here in Central Texas now that I'm not, and yeah.
Consider them alongside the British national hobby of taking words from other languages and deliberately mispronouncing them, and the Irish national hobby of complaining that, no matter HOW you pronounce one of their made-up words, you're doing it wrong.
Since we're taking about American pronunciation of French words...As a South Dakotan, I feel it's my duty to teach the masses that the capital of my fair state is Pierre, pronounced "Peer". Also, what's with the leaves poking out of the bottom of that nightmare?
Anyone else have the urge to attack that monstrosity with a can of Aqua-Net and a lighter?
(Sharyn, don't forget my favorite Colorado mispronunciation: Pee-eh-blow (Pueblo)
I have family there and in "byoo-nee" as they call it. ;)
We must be neighbors, cuz Louisville is 5 minutes from me.)
I know how the name of the dessert is supposed to be promounced but I like your version better. I will attempt to work that into a conversation at my next opportunity. Plus my new epithet for something nasty looking will be that it looks like a primitive jungle cake being attacked by lactating spider wasps.
That just captures the whole grandeur of the thing right there.
I would like to come to one of Tom's parties. :D~
uh ... you don't EAT the duckies, do you !?!!?
Sharyn - We moved to Colorado a few years ago, and mispronounced pretty much everything for the first year. In addition to Lyons, Louisville and Buena Vista (which I refuse to call Byoona Vista, so I just refer to it as BV), there is also the Cache la Poudre River. The name looks so pretty, but is pronounced Cash la Pooder. As for today's CW - I don't want to eat either one, thanks. When I first saw the bottom image, I thought that the web had caught a bunch of grasshoppers for the newly hatched spiders to devour. What are those green things in there, anyway? Think I may have a nightmare or two tonight, thanks.
@Sharyn ~ Here in the Pacific Northwest we have towns like Puyallup, Chehalis, Mukilteo and Sequim. (Bonus points if you know how to pronounce the first one and the last one!)
As for that hot mess up there, I like cream puffs but I'm not a big fan of lactating spider-wasps.
Omg! Xena made my day!! Lmao! A Miss Havisham reference? Tied jn with Grey Gardens. What could be better?? Veil of tears is right!
Sadly, even the "good" photo has clearly been photo-shopped to look more neatly done. Never had one myself, but, since I love a good cream puff, I wouldn't be averse to cracking through the candy spider webs to sample a few.
I do not want to know what is pupating in that sugary cocoon, but I'm sure when it finally emerges it will menace the world's major cities.
So I just found this.
Croquembouche
The name of this classic French dessert means "crunch in the mouth"; Make the caramel and assemble the dessert as close to serving time as possible
Yeah. Crunch. In. The. Mouth.
As if it isn't terrifying enough just to look at?
My small town has a street named Beaulah Street, but everyone pronounces it "Beulah". Drives me nuts. It should be pronounced BOlah, right? BEAU is pronounced BO!
Looks like it was made with, you know, longing. Made by a person really longed to see a croquembouche.
Whenever I see that word, I imagine it being spoken by the Budweiser frogs....