Bakery Grammar 101
June 16, 2014 Grammar Rules for Bakers
Avoid commas, That are not, necessary.
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Consult a dictionery to avoid mispelings.
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""Avoid" "overuse" "of" "quotation" "marks.""
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Prepositions are something you never end a sentence with.
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Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
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Only use apostrophe's when its the proper time.
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Don't overuse exclamation points!!!!!!!!!
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Always hyphenate between syllables, and avoid un-necessary hyp- henation.
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No sentence fragments
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See? Piece of cake!
Next week: Dangling participles!
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There, they're, their. Put down the red correcting pens long enough to thank Lynne S., Malory M., Donna M., Marlese L., Allison C., Jennifer B., Samuel, Maria, Meris, and Gamal A., whose grammar is always perfect.
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Reader Comments (61)
We need to know the backstory for "happy vagina".
SOoooo many errors; So few frosted canvases per post.
The last picture. Aren't carrots already shaped suggestively enough? Why the need for the additional equipment? No, wait! It has to be celebrating "deformed carrot day"
Well, I'm glad they're wishing concentrated Debby a good birthday. Because diluted Debby is just wishy washy.
Yet they spelled "Congratulations" correctly...
I just need to know one thing. In what mythological realm are those things plopped on those cupcakes carrots? Has the baker never seen a carrot? (Okay, two things). Plenty of ***ks I guess, but no carrots. (I censored myself. You're welcome.)
Concentrated Debbie - she's a bit thick and a little of her goes a long way.
On the first cake, using "then" instead of "than" is worse than the missing comma. Ugh.
Cake #2 - I believe my brain imploded on that one...congratulations spelled correctly, and then...the rest.
And hey! Bonus gold and blue sperm balloons!
*gigglesnort* at the last pic :D too bad for the grammar errors, some of those cakes would have been nice otherwise
Seriously1?!?! They spell congratulations correct, but cannot manage wishes nor luck???
Mi hed hirts.
What is a PERICOUS Baby Girl?
Okay, repeat after me:
dinning: make (someone) learn or remember something by constant repetition...
dinning: make (someone) learn or remember something by constant repetition...
dinning: make (someone) learn or remember something by constant repetition...
Now:
dining: eat dinner...
dining: eat dinner...
dining: eat dinner...
Thank you, this concludes my Monday morning rant ~
After seeing "pericous" in the first picture, I checked in the dictionary but didn't find it…
LOL!! Love the post Sharyn!
And they misspelled "dining." Missed that did you?
On the first cake, is that supposed to be precious baby girl?
I think the little green leaf on the "carrots" adds just the right touch of censorship.
As for dinning while eating, I was always taught that it was bad manners. I was taught to use my inside voice.
First cake has more than just commas grammatically wrong. They have the Then instead of Than issue. It's Pericoris, whatever that means.
The Dangling Punctuation
(with apologies to Simon and Garfunkel)
In a bakery full of colors
Its’ now late afternoon
As the sun shines through the curtained lace
And customers’ fill the room
We stand and await our orders
Thinking , “Whats’ the “difference?”
Like shells upon the shore
You can hear grammarians’ roar
‘bout the dangling punctuation
And far to many commas
They seem to all “despise”
Who can use a big “dictionary”?
The grammar cause is lost!!!!!
And we fill our words with hyphen-ates
The rules “have all” been tossed!!!!!
‘Tis a greeting poorly written
Done by bakers out of rhythm
They do it all the time
A “syncopated” crime’
Lost in the dangling punctuation
And the ‘postrophes despised
That do hyphen-ate our lives’
Yes, we speak of things that matter
With words that must be said
“Is grammar really worthwhile?”
“Is punctuation really dead?”
And now the bakery’s getting empty
And all the cakes’ are going home!!!!
Some words may well be missing
Oh, look, an ampersand!!!!!!
Lost in the dangling punctuation
And the ‘postrophes despised
That do hypen-ate our lives
Is the dinning one actually a cake? It kinda looks like someone just spread icing on a jelly roll pan.
Comma Comma Comma Comma Comma Chameleon
They come and go
They come and go
Grammer should be easy and your spelling will make me scream
Dic-tion-ary
Dic-tion-ary eee eee eee
I had two pericous baby girls. I never got a cake for the second one. It's okay though, really. She graduates 8th grade tomorrow so It's probably a little late for a baby shower at this point.
Poor Neema. The started with a pretty cake but someone probably texted the order to the store and we all know ur is the new way to spell your. :-\
Somehow, I knew this was a Sharyn post just from the title. Well done my friend!
I went out early to do some yard work in the hot, hot sun. Sadly, I forgot to stop and drink some water. Needless to say, I was feeling a bit woozy and out of it when I came inside, but these cakes all looked perfectly fine to me.
What's the problem?
What...no one else made an Ooomp Loompa comment about the last picture yet? It had to be done, lol!
"Holy moly", that is a grammatically bad, post. They're r so many "errors" that it is absolutely pericou's. I think we should really, know the story of "happy vagina". I'm wondering if the cake is for someone who has had "male-to-female" gender "reassignment" surgery? That makes alot of, sense to me.
Best. Post. EVER!! There's just too much that made me laugh for me to comment on it now. I loved your comments though, and your restraint in not pointing out ALL the errors in each post but instead, merely the ones on point of your caption.
hehe 'dangling participles'
#1 There was nothing sweeter in all the the world until a pericous baby girl came along. Seems OK to me.
#2 Three things: Congratulations, a group of the most intelligent people, and Evil Luk Malory's good twin. OK.
#3 The quotation marks are just the final touch. I've got nothing here.
#4 This isn't a cake. It is emphatically a "to," and it belongs to Daddy Matter. If you're not Daddy Matter, hands off!
#5 Not sure that they accidentally a word there, but they got the meme wrong.
#6 We've dinned all spring, and now we're taking a break. If you'd like to join the next dinning session, remain well-fed over the summer. I'd have added a comma.
#7 Neema's ent friend wishes her well in Ur Retirem. Thanks ent.
#8 A sex-change celebration cake. Nothing wrong but poor space management.
#9 Having solved most of these mysteries, the carrot cupcakes were delicious.
Do you think it should be a perilous baby girl? My family have had several of these, and I have the scars to prove it.
1) Actually, "pericos" is a word. It means "parakeet" in Spanish. Perhaps they were enthusiastically welcoming a new exotic bird?
2) LUK is a company that makes automotive parts and ball bearings. Do well on the assembly line, Malory, and use "Best Wises" in all your decision-making!
3) Are those hot peppers on Debbie's cake? No WONDER she's so concentrated!
4) So where's Daddy Matters (sorta like Daddy Warbucks, but without the disturbingly eyeless orphan) off to this time?
5) The time-traveller's cake.
6) This is just embarrassing.
7) How exactly does one "din"? I appreciate you thanking me, but I don't remember doing it...
8) Does that cake really say "Neerma"? (And how charming that you used text-speak...)
9) TMI--I don't really want to know how your genitalia is feeling, thank you, and my parts are quite private.
10) Those don't look like the carrots in MY garden...
What the heck is all over Concentrated Debbie's cake? It looks like festive Christmas sperm....
My head, it hurts from
Trying hard to decipher
Grammarly wrecked cakes.
Joining those who are marveling over the wreckerator who can spell "congratulations" but not "wishes" or "luck." I would headdesk, but I had to deal with healthcare.gov this morning and I've used my ration for the day.
On the last cupcakes: I am just grateful that the Baby Carrot Jockeys were not riding these. . . .carrots. That would have sent me over the edge.
Giggle giggle giggle snort! There goes my Diet Coke alll over the keyboard AGAIN!
I can't figure out any word to put in "We'll Missed" that makes sense. "We'll Be Missed"--what, we're throwing our own going away party? And taunting you that you'll miss us when we're gone? "We'll Missed You"--doesn't work. Maybe this has another errant apostrophe and it's supposed to say "Well Missed"? Ooh ooh that's it! They left out an 'I', it's supposed to say "Well I Missed", it's a cake congratulating the intended victim on surviving a murder attempt!
And I really want to know what "concentrated Debby" is all about.
Concentrated Debbie???????? That's a wreck even without the bad grammar...
Baker's man, bake me
a panty cake as fast as
you can pipe "carrots."
@SaraCVT ~ Maybe the carrots in your garden don't look like that because your parts are so private? HA!
It takes real talent to spell Congratulations correctly and totally drop the ball on the easy words.
@GrandmaJudyBeth ~ First rule of CW. Do NOT take a drink before scrolling. (Speaking from experience!)
Re that last cake..."We're gonna need a bigger fig leaf...."
While everyone is marvelling that "Congratulations" was spelled correctly on #2, I noticed that the frosting under the writing has a blue tinge to it, meaning that the cake was "erased" at least once.Which makes me wonder, just how bad was it before?
Upon my second look-see, I became even more confused with "Daddy Matter's To." Is it supposed to be "Daddy matters too?" Is daddy feeling neglected because everyone is concentrated on Debbie? Debbie is a pericous newborn, after all, and everyone is concentrating on mom and chanting "Happy vagina" at her for managing to survive the birth.
Also, "pericous newborn" made me think of pernicious knids in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, even before @Sue M brought up the Oompa Loompas.
Funny, I had "Overs" by Simon and Garfunkel on the brain today and then mel came up with that rather splendid take on "The Dangling Conversation". Mel, we S&G fans turn our lonely eyes to you. (Woo-woo-woo.)
Hmmmmm....a few questions...at what point are you supposed to buy a cake for your vagina??? Also, why is Debbie concentrated?Lastly, did the penis shaped carrots come WITH the Vagina cake?? Hey that would make a really cool bogo sale...lmao
aside from the mistakes in grammar, the first one looks less like a diaper & more like women's underwear.
I think it takes "Concentrated Debbie" to withstand the onslaught of Satan's sperm with boughs of holly.
As a "grammar nazi" I must say, these cakes...well, they...erm...they take the cake! It's a grammar nazi's dream, or worst nightmare. I'll go with dream, since I do not have to correct said nightmares. Love all the comments yet again laughing first at the post in the a.m., then when I get home at the comments in the evening. I love CW, it's just swell.
Wow. Just wow.
Okay... seriously?? A cake shaped like panties?? Ew.
But the one that, um, takes the cake... Happy Vagina!! :) Wow... I REALLY want the back story on that one, too!! i would hazard a guess that it should have been Happy Birthday, Virginia!!
Wow, a bumper crop of craziness in this batch...
1. Pink panties with a plethora of punctuation problems, poked with a pin.
2. At least they remembered the Oxford comma!
3. It's a good thing Debbie's concentrated, because the only thing I can concentrate on are those mysterious, blobby red tomatoes-with-tails.
4. I just imagine this one served at a tea party, with Daddy sitting between Dolly and Mr. Bear, trying not to laugh so hard that he spills his tiny teacup as his "little princess" reads that message.
5. Yeah. You'll missed, alright.
6. The Best Wishe's Barb is better than the Worst Wishe's Sting!
7. There are enough errors there to for grammarians to feed on for a good long while, even without the implicit irony of ordering someone to never go hungry, on a cake.
8. If Neema is of retirement age, she's likely to be as puzzled by the text-speak as by the bad line break and the random glitter globs.
9 & 10 - Well, where did you think Carrot Jockey babies come from?
@Mel - I may find myself singing that many times while proofreading... =-)
@Sandy - Yours too!