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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
May202014

Because SIX SEVEN ATE! Haha! (Wait. Am I doing this right?)

Today is a red letter day, fellow wreckies!

 

Well, really more of a red number day.

Maybe I should start over.

 

See, today I've been writing Cake Wrecks for SIX WHOLE YEARS.

Six years!

 

That's 2,190 days, about 2,118 posts, and at least 638 poop puns.

Not to mention all the cupcake cake (patooie!) spit-takes that I've frankly stopped keeping track of.

 

So today's post is brought to you by the magical number six!

[chanting] Six! Six! Six!

Oops.
(Hey baker, you misspelled "Damian.")

 

On second thought, forget the number. Let's just focus on ME.
So...
Happy anniersy to me!!

Haha!

And here's to thousands and thousands more poopy chocolate swirls, crazy misunderstandings, wrecked weddings, overly-literal executions, blatant demonstrations of inferior quality control...

[loud sobbing]

Ahem.

 

But most of all here's to YOU, my dear wreckies, and the increasingly disturbing fan wrecks you keep sending in:

[Good luck censoring THIS, John! Ha!]

Don't ever change, you sick sickos, you. MWAH.

 

Thanks to Emily D., Jamie L., Mike & Johanna, Brooke M., Debbie N., Tanisha M., & Brianna E., who spotted that last one at a friend's baby shower, but no one explained to her that it was a CW tribute, so she was really, REALLY confused, which makes it all SO MUCH BETTER. (Carrot Jockey nipple censors FTW!)

Note from john (thoJ): I'm like a Photoshop master. Click here for the uncensored version.

*****

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Reader Comments (78)

Happy Anniversary, Jen! (And John, the Photoshop master.) Six years, and you're the one giving us wrecky gifts. We WOULD have baked you a cake, but, well, you know...

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

*counting on fingers*
*and toes*
So, you started CW on my wedding anniversary?
I am honored, or horrified. Either way we're gonna have a lot of fun!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Sung to "You're Sixteen, You're Beautiful and You're Mine"

Sometimes wrecks make me scream, make my eyes stream
Make me chuckle or whine
For six years, wrecks plentiful. How divine!

All those glistening poo swirls! I'm gonna hurl.
"I want sprinkles!" enshrined.
For six years, wrecks plentiful. How divine!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Hapy Ana...
Happy Annevrs...
'Appy Annavares...
Happy Day You Started This Blog!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Happy 6st Anniersy Jen! (And John and Everybody!)

I’ll light the fire, and you throw the poopcake
In so it will burn right away
Staring at the screen for hours and hours
While I wait for you to write your comments
Every day for us, only for us

Write your post now, then rest your fingers for a minute
Your comments are fine
6nd years has been great, though EPCOTs are exhaustiating
And some people just don’t get them
It is sad but true. You know it’s true-u-u

Jen’s wrecks are the bestest, bestest, bestest, best wrecks
Some cakes have left us scarred and spelling is so hard
And what you want aint always what you get
So now

I’ll light the fire, and you throw the PanWow
In so it will burn right away-ay-ay-ay-ay

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Happy Birthday, Cake Wrecks! And, Happy Anniersy to you, Jen, and john(thoJ)! Thanks for the laughter – you exceed the MDRL (Minimum Daily Requirement of Laughter) every post! And thank you for all the hard work behind the scenes that it takes to make this look so easy. And, thank you for letting this be an inter-active place, where regular people and those with a few loose screws can come and laugh and play while taking a respite from that thing called Life.

(And underneat that…)

Thank you to the CW Team! Your support is invaluable, and your talent knows no bounds!

Thousands of posts, 342, 205 “likes” on Facebook, two best-selling books, and an untold number of daily readers and commenters who come to this place daily to laugh and pay homage to the funniest, most clever humor site ever can’t be wrong!

Today we celebrate the Joy of Six!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Happy Anniversary! Thanks for all the fun and I can't wait to see what wrecks the future holds.

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDrockbox

Happy Anniversary! Thanks for the laughs!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterOxyJen

Jen and John (thoj) and the whole team --- WE. LOVE. YOU..
MWAH!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Yay Jen! You bring laughter to the dreariest of days. Bet you never expected the torture to last this long.

Congradu---
Congarats--
Congratulato--

Aw heck.

Well done (all caps)!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterElissa

Congratulations on six years, Jen, John, and the CW team! Thanks for the many many laughs, the lost appetites, the spit-takes, and the need for oh so much brain bleach. Blessings to you and here's to many more wrecks!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

I think the people who make these cakes are the same type that are on the first audition episodes of American Idol. They are under the impression that they are the best in the world. Makes for good entertainment, though.

Happy Anniversary!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJim

Hap 6nd aniversary! yoo hav mad a bigg impak on cak decoraters everwear

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTom

Happy 6rd anniversary! Many thanks to you, John (thoJ) and the Cakewrecks team for being an essential part of my day xxx

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

So could we call this Six Years--Jeez! of Wreck Bakin'?

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Happy Anniersy Jen, john(thoJ) and the whole team!

The writers and wreckies are some of the bestest people ever! Thanks for doing what you do so we can all have a little break from this crazy thing called life.

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Happy Sixth Anniversary, Jen! So glad Cake Wrecks is here when I need a hilarious start to my day.

I'm so very grateful that you decided to post that first wreck six years ago and that you've blessed us with your brilliance, wit, and humor just about every single day since then. Thanks also to your support team: John, Sharyn, Lindsey, Lily, the submitters, the commenters, and the lurkers.

Keep going, girl! Even if it stopped being fun for you years ago, it's a flurking laugh riot for all of us who don't have to do the work! We love you! XOXOXO!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKW

Congratulations and Thank You!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

THANK YOU!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie

Congratulations Jen, and thank you for 6 years of Cake Wrecks. I get up most mornings to wait by the computer at 7:30 (cst) for the latest posts. And then I check the comments all day. I have loved them, one and all.

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmy in Nashville

Happy blogiversary!

Wait, someone sprung that shower cake on an unsuspecting pregnant lady who isn't a wrekkie? Not cool.

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRobynR

Carrot Jockey Nipple Censors is the name of my electro-punk band.

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPocket

Thanks for all the snorts, the giggles, the screams and the squeals. I can't believe all my keyboards and monitors have survived!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Congradulatuns nd tanks four de memorie

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Congrats on your 6nd! And thank you for the UNcensored.... <3 <3

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjune w

Happy Anniversary.

That top cake, I'd am insult to the Red Sox. The stitching on a baseball does not look like that.
The second one, I guess they *sorta* did what was asked. They wrote the 2 (In Red)...

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCupcake

Happy Anniversary.

That top cake, Is an insult to the Red Sox. The stitching on a baseball does not look like that.
The second one, I guess they *sorta* did what was asked. They wrote the 2 (In Red)...

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCupcake

Happy anniversary!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoJo

Happy Anniversary to Cake Wrecks!
Things I've learned during the past five years (that's when I stumbled upon you):

1. CCC's are mostly evil (only "mostly" becauseI love excessive frosting)
2. Body parts should never be reproduced in cake form.
3. If you must swirl brown frosting, please, for the love of Zeus, use a star tip.
4. Haiku, song parodies, and puns can brighten anyone's day.
5. It is possible to think of someone you've never met, or exchanged any noticeable dialogue, as family (here's looking at you Jen, john (thoJ), Sharyn, Haiku Joy, mel, SuBee, Jodi)
6. Never underestimate the power of education.

Thank you!!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Happy anniversary to Jen, John, and all the other deranged folks that help you. You can not be sane after doing this for six years.

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Happy 6th Anniversary, Jen. Thank you for all of the laughs during the week, and the Sundays full of gratutude and appreciation.

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAnice

"Today we celebrate the Joy of Six!"

Snort!! Thanks, mel!! :)

And thank you, Jen, john(thoJ) and all the Cake Wrecks crew and commentators!! :D

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Happy birthday Cake Wrecks! May you get the cake you so richly deserve- one of those Sunday Sweets should do nicely!

In the title you nailed the punch line, if Yoda was telling the joke!
Yoda" Why the other numbers afraid of six are?" "Because six seven ate."

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

Hoppy Xisth Annevarasity! (in blue) {no caps} [with sprinkles]

I have occasionally wondered just how many wrecks can their be in the world, how long can they keep this blog going?

I'm now convinced irradiated cockroaches falling into the sun will still be wreckorating cakes.

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

Here's hoping for cin red) more an'nIersey years! (That apostrophe and last e are very important when spelling an'nIersey. Otherwise, the meaning might be lost.)

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

Happy Anniversary to the Cake Wrecks team. I can always count on you for a daily laugh - and usually more than one, especially if I read the comments!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersamatwitch

Hapy Aniversey! (That's what I see....)
I don't post often, but I lurk every day. Every. Day. (Scary to think about).
I have given your books as gifts.
Best blog, best community.
*raising Sonic cherry limeade* Here's to many more successful years!!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

What Mel & Subee & Sharyn said!

Bravo Cake Wrecks team! Bravo!!!!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMovieMom

Eye patch, John. It;s a pirate hooker baby. It needs an eye patch.

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKelly C.

Huppy ANnavucery! Let them east cake!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNikachu

I don't see what's wrong with the third one. To me, it looks like a very cute baby Godzilla with unexplained flowers all over its body.

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTyler

Hapy Aniversey!!
Love the page, keep it up :)

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Happy Wreck-iversary, Jen and John (thoJ and Photoshop master)!

Did anyone else read the second cake as 2 CIN RED) and wonder why there was a closing parenthesis without an opening one? It finally dawned on me that the capital C IS the opening parenthesis. Sheesh!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Happy Wreck-iversary, Jen and John (thoJ and Photoshop master)!

Did anyone else read the second cake as 2 CIN RED) and wonder why there was a closing parenthesis without an opening one? It finally dawned on me that the capital C IS the opening parenthesis. Sheesh!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

I left you messages. I know. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! (say like Matt Smith)

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

Lol @ all caps (last cake). I wanna reach in and have that first "6" cake with you.

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEm

I am glad you put "at least" because I am really sure there were more than 638 poop puns.

Happy Anniversary and here's to many more poop puns. (oh but you can stop with the baby cakes. I am having nightmares that feature some of them.)

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen D.

Happy blog anniversary, Jen, john(thoj), and everyone in the CW Team - we all appreciate you!! May you have many more years of sprinkles, whenever you want them!


PS - @Tyler, that made me snort. =-)

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Happy anniversary you wild bunch! You make my days brighter!

So, more naked bemohawked babies! Riding ta-tas this time though, instead of carrots. Klassy.

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Thank you! I have learned over the years to: 1. Go pee before looking at cake wrecks, 2. Swalllow ALL my Diet Coke before opening the blog, and 3. make sure the post is "safe for work" before I show it to my co-workers!

May 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGrandmaJudyBeth

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