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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Apr212014

Cake Works

You guys may think writing Cake Wrecks is all fun and games, but let me tell you: Some days it's all we can do to make sense of our own keyboards!

 

When you see as many bad cakes as we do, it's easy to lose track of time.

And spacingth. And grammarth.

 

Then after we sort all the cakes, we have to write something funny-but-also-tasteful, so no one gets offended.

Boom.
Nailed it.

 

Then there's all the social media stuff!

Twitter is great, until you get the dreaded Fail Whale:

 

And don't get me STARTED on Facebook:

 

Then there's Google Plus:

[crickets chirping]

 

We're constantly upgrading our software.

 

After the Windons 8 debacle, we've done pretty well with Snow Lepard,

...although it can be a little spotty.

 

Yep, we've become Master Chiefs of Busines!

This cakey, wrecky busines.

Because you're worth it.

 

And in the end, I KNOW you're going to like this post.

Coocle Analytics tells me so.

 

Statistically speaking, the odds are pretty high I'm going to thank Sandra C., Katherine S., Kynli N., Lisa C., Suzanna H., Kate O., Chor J., Julie D., Emily D., and Tim. Because running spreadsheets is WAY easier than spreading frosting on sheet cakes.

*****

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Reader Comments (26)

Steve Jobs once said, "Older people sit down and ask, 'What is it?' But the boy asks, 'What can I do with it?' "
I must be solidly middle aged, because as I look at these cakes, I find myself asking both...

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

#1 The keyboard layout explains the "Lekan 8 Gbemi" on the screen. Is that a New Jersey key?

#8 It's spelled "Leppard." Sheesh!

#9 Bad grammar, "busines" is plural. A busine is a medieval instrument, described as a "straight trumpet."

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterR3Test

As a techy researcher who loves Cake Wrecks, this post took the cake! ;)

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

The only thing I can say is WTF?!!?!?!?!?!

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I agree with mindy1--- What The Frosting??

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjust me

I'm sure the thing we all wonder about most is why they didn't finish the white star border around the "gravy boat" picture. Sleepless nights ahead . . . pondering . . . agonizing . . . WHY DIDN'T THEY DO THOSE FEW LITTLE REMAINING STARS?!

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermoonrabbit

What IS that "decoration" on the "Chief" business?? I can't quite make it out.

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Ah, Busines. Like cosines, but, you know, scarier.

I'm glad they have Master Chiefs, though.

They're pretty cool guys. They kills aleins and doesn't afraid of anything.

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha!! I completely lost it when I got to "And spellingth. And grammarth." I'm still laughing too hard to comment on the wrecks themselves! Thanks for the good laugh today!

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

As for Cake #3, that's referring to "gravy boats", and the truly tasteless can in fact get little Titanics for their very own table. Me, I stick with unidentified pirate ships. Sorta goes along with the Dalek and TARDIS salt and pepper shakers I have as well.

Yes, I agree Facebook is junk. That's why I'm not there anymore. But I wouldn't get a cake about it.

And my brother-in-law is named Don, and in no way does he Win. Not, and probably not especially, if there were 8 of him. I'm not even sure he's going to be my brother-in-law much longer.

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

From now on I'm going to blame all the computer problems on Windons 8. Pretty sure our IT guy will appreciate that.

The 3st one is just...well... What is WRONG with these people???

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

As someone who is REALLY mad at Google Places/Plus and has to get on the phone and yell at them today for the fourth time in 10 weeks, that one was my favorite. And yes, Coocle Analytics does make about that much sense.

There really is a Titanic gravy boat: http://www.perpetualkid.com/titanic-gravy-boat.aspx

The description os hysterical.

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I did a Dilbert cake once that wasn't half bad, and that's saying something considering my art teacher did half my work for me in jr high! LOL

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLori

"What the Frosting?" is my new favorite!! Genius! Way better than "why the face?" Which is the one all the kids are using:)

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

@Maureen: pomegranate seeds with a curl of chocolate. I think the larger question, however, given how many seeds the average pomegranate puts out, is: What did they do with the rest of them?

1) There are just that many Master Chiefs of Busines
2) They wanted to plant a pomegranate tree of their very own & wanted to be SURE
3) They just really like to snack on pomegranate seeds
4) They gave the seeds to their son, George, who said, "Stupid seeds!" and dumped them on the ground where a beanstalk immediately grew and they had to vacate the place because the owner (they rented) called it an unauthorized change and get it the HELL offa my property. Nobody could, even with bulldozers, and George just said (like any teen) "I dunno", so they moved to Baltimore, where they had family. But it does turn out happy in the end, because with hard work and a little bit of aptitude, things did turn out better than they had been. You ever heard the name "Goldman"?

Just a few theories.

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

so, so, so funny. I love cake wrecks! It always makes me laugh. Now I have to go Coocle some stuff....

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjust a girl

Congrats, Lekan & Gbemi, on whatever!

Considering how tragic my gravy usually turns out, a Titanic gravy boat would be rather appropriate and not nearly as offensive as my Hindenburg toaster.

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

@Maureen, I believe they are red spartan mini-mates figures, like these http://www.figurerealm.com/actionfigure.php?FID=35897&figure=spartanmarkviredspartanmarkviblue . They appear to be holding rocket launchers on the cake.

The less said about #1 the better, although if anyone ever asks me "Who ate Gbemi?" I can tell them "Lekan 8 Gbemi". >.>

Wouldn't "it's all icing" be more appropriate for #3?

Is the "gold" sticker on #5 meant to be sarcastic, or did they really think they did a great job? Or...is that actually what's considered "gold" quality decorating at that bakery?

#6 is the "low-calorie dieters' special" cake!

"Windons 8"...I think that's the bootleg Chinese-counterfeit "bargain" version.

I can't help thinking that #8 could have been worse; it could've said "snow leper"....eesh!

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Aww, but that Google Analytics cake is cool.....

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterIsaacsLaughing

I'm posting this to Google Plus. The four of us there will laugh mightily!

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJ. Rose

The Titanic gravy boat.. words cannot express the why do people come up with these things? Lol plus who thinks to put that on a cake? Too many questions for my brain to handle tonight.

April 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

The Google Plus has me rolling!

April 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentershannon

I have to say, the Google+ one is spot on. I don't know anyone who doesn't hate Google+. I don't think it's humanly possible not to.

April 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

I so want a Hindenburg toaster....

April 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteremmay

Grammerth...Shakespearean grammar?

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Love how you get to the Face Book Junkie and even the packaging recognises that the design is gold! Lost it at Google +
What the frosting, who is the genius who came up with that one!!

June 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRiebie

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