CAKE WREXXX!!
April 1, 2014 WARNING: Today's post is slightly less-than-safe for work, and probably not safe for kids.
(And there was much rejoicing.)
After nearly six years of finding new and creative euphemisms for poo, I think I've finally figured out what internet people really want.
;)
"'Sup?"
And not JUST turkey wangs, either!
They also like a little of this:
;)
And this:
;)
And - oh yes - THIS:
;)
Mmmm. Boxy.
So today marks another milestone in Cake Wrecks' history. Today, CW's hotter older sister site, Cake WreXXX.com, goes live. That's right, all the not-safe-for-work, do-you-see-what-I-see, mind-in-the-gutter hilarity of erotic - or unintentionally erotic - cakes gone awry now has a home of its very own.
;)
Think you can handle it??
;)
"HULK EXCITED!!"
Aren't we all, Hulk. Aren't we all.
So if you want to be terrified of the human body:
;)
Or just swear off chocolate sprinkles for life:
;)
Then GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS!
;)
That's right: CAMEL TOE DAY!!
So hide your kids, hide your wives, and head on over to CAKE WREXXX, where runny white icing is the new chocolate poo-swirl. [evil grin]
Thanks to Lauren A., Amanda L., Laura R., Jen H., Kristen M., Mark F., Alisha E., Jane A., & Shelby R. for the five-gallon drum of eye bleach I'm going to need to sort all these new submissions. [whimper]
*****
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Reader Comments (37)
I, uh, only read CakeWrexxx for the articles. It's much better than that other site, Crustler.
THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!
Regarding the oh so sexy, red Speedo clad quadruple amputee: OW, OW, OW, OUCH...
Cake Wrecks +EPBOT+CAKE WREXX-personal ambition / 9 hour work day x creative use of time =
I didn't really like that job anyway.
Sung to "Baby Got Back"
Oh, my, god, Wreckies, look at these cakes...
I like rude cakes and I cannot lie
You other Wreckies can't deny
When a cake comes in with a poo wang turkey face
Or two round things on Tom's cake
It gets sung. Got a shot in the buff
And you notice all his boxy stuff
In those red briefs, it's glaring
And I can't stop staring
Oh baby, Hulk wants to get one, too
And take a picture
Don't want to drip with scorn, gee,
Bet your flattened moobs make some gals horny
Ooh, sprinkle pubes, cake skin
Gotta show this cake to my friends
Well, groovy, groovy
Camel Toe Day just makes my loopy...
CakeWrexxx got back!
(The things I do for Cake Wrecks, er, CakerWrexxx...)
THE END IS NIGH!!! GATHER THY WIVES AND YON CHILDREN AND FLEE!!!
Sharyn bwahahaha :D as for those cakes, what occasion calls for such things D:
Then this is where I should re-submit that photo entitled 2girls1cupcake, before this day is over.
In the UK we refer to a well-endowed gentleman's bits as his lunchbox...I think the baker of Amy's cake took it a bit too literally!
So this is an April Fool's Joke, right??
Pamela Anderson has
Been Simpsonized
Stringy pasta hair
Cake #8 - No I do not want the cake with sprinkles.
I have to believe this is an awesome April Fools joke. I am impressed that you actually put up the site with 6 pages of your past naughty blog posts! Love the thought of people searching "XXX" sites and finding cakewrexxx. "Aww yeah, some kinky cake action! Whaaa??"
Oh, dear. I'll keep this for outside work. My employer is lenient, but you see, I'll waste so much time on this that I might forget to do what I'm actually paid for.
Long (!) live CakeWreXXX!
My first time heading over to Cake WreXXX. That was hilarious. Thank you.
The "no comments" on the new site either means that it is an April Fools joke, or that you really don't wanna know what we are thinking about....that stuff.
Regardless, you've cured my chocolate sprinkles addiction for evah
Is it wrong that I can see cake wrexxx as more than an April Fool's joke. It would be a nice addition to the site to handle the wrecks that are adults only ;-). They start with the wonderful fireman cake.
*Hrk*
And.... gross!
And further -- April Fool!!
April Fool's?
I love you Sharyn.
Absolutely toooooooooooo funny! The new site is great! What a fantastic collection of CW's Greatest Naughty Bits! And that new logo -- hilarious! You have outdone yourselves, Jen and john(thoJ)! This is why CW is the funniest site in the world!
I feel so.....
Happy (with apologies to Pharrell Williams)
(Verse 1)
It might seem crazy what I read today
Cake Wrexxx is here, and here to stay
I’m floatin’ on cloud nine way up in space,
Laughin’ like I don’t care baby, all the day
(Hook)
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you appreciate a professional frosting gaffe
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you know that Cake Wrecks makes you laugh
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you like frosting that looks like poo
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you like a frosting mammary or two…..
(Verse 2)
Here comes a new site, showin’ tit and tat,
Well, give us all the "rockets" you got, and don’t hold it back,
Well I should probably warn you, it’s Not Suitable For Work,
Unless you happen to be at a place where you can twerk
Here’s why…
(Repeat Hook)
(Bridge)
Bring me down…can’t nothin’
Bring me down…my laughter’s too high
Bring me down…can’t nothin’
Bring me down….let me tell you….
(Happy, happy, happy, happy…
Happy, happy, happy, happy….
Happy, happy, happy, happy….)
Bring me down…can’t nothin’
Bring me down…my laughter’s too high
Bring me down…can’t nothin’
Bring me down….let me tell you….
Because
(Hook x2)
Repeat Bridge and Hook…..
LOL! Jen, don't EVER, EVER, EVER change! You are awesome!
Sharyn: One of your best EVER! That one will stay with me for a while!
Cake Wrecks forEVER!!
(I really don't know what's come over me. Spring fEVER?)
Bwah ha ha ha! Happy April Fool's Day, CW!!!
@ Sharyn. That was...wow. just. wow.
LOVE it! LOL
As far as April Fools jokes go, Cakewrecks inspired me (from a past enty) to make a meatloaf cake with mashed potato "icing" for my family tonight!
I just love you guys. I have 4 hours left at work then VACATION! We leave at O'dark O'clock to head for the airport to get on a plane headed for TEXAS! Here in the PNW we're still trying to dry out from all the rain. It's supposed to be in the 80's. The reason I mention this is because I am totally planning a small portion of every day to check in and get my daily dose of CW.
@Sharyn ~ So very wrong on so many levels...but SO perfect!
@mel ~ You really are my hero. ;-)
@Sharyn-Have you heart Jonathan Coulton's version? It's lovely:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ltjbnyvq_SI
@mel-thanks for the earworm!
@mel - That song has been my earworm for about a week. Now, I have yet another great version to include. Bravo.
Heh. Heheheh. Heh.
Heh. Heheheh. Heh.
@SuBee: That was special.
@Jodee: awww...shucks.....you say the nicest things....have a great vacation!
@SuBee: you're welcome...I'm "Happy" to do it......
@SaraV: thanks! ...it is a catchy tune.....
Will CakeWrexxx have Sunday Sweets? Please say it will! I want to see a beautifully sculpted & frosted penis cake!
I am stunned cake wrexx actually existed. I am even more stunned I clicked the link lmao. Oh man eye bleach won't be enough to fix what cannot be unseen. Whew. At least I didn't see any scary clowns this time. I wasn't brave enough to look after the first page lol.
Wait... There really is a CakeWreXXX? I thought you guys were April Foolin'.
Brava, Sharyn! And I totally sang all the lyrics!
Oh and you had me rolling with Crustler!
Am I weird if I actually liked the Borat cake? Come on, you have to admit it was pretty funny and pretty well done (for a wreck, that is...) :D
I don't even know what's going on in that first cake...it's a big tan genital with two green...um...warts ...and.... a smaller pink genital on top with ....stuff...squirting out of it...? o.0 ?
The butt cake is almost excusable, even with the syringe, since it's apparently from Japan. It's probably some new weird "in" thing over there, or maybe based on an anime of some sort (*cough* hentai *cough*) that hasn't made it across the Pacific yet.
The red speedo cake reminds me of a guy from my high school who used to stuff his pants to make his crotch look bigger....it never worked as well as he thought it did, instead of looking "sexy" he just looked like he had stuffed something down his pants in a desperate attempt to make his crotch look bigger. haha
The Hulk caption is as "interesting" as that "extra line" on Hulk's drippy "painted-on" looking "shorts" (not to mention his strangely captivating, zombie-esque eyes) ...."HAPPY BIRTHDAYE ANNIVERSARY".
I could buy that perhaps this is from the UK and that "birthday" might be spelled with an extra silent "e" there; the English do seem to be fond of spelling words with unpronounced letters in them after all....
But how exactly do you have an anniversary for a birthday? Isn't a birthday, in itself, an anniversary? The anniversary of one's birth? That cake is just wrong in so many ways.
As for the CakeWreXXX posts....
The one with the dirt seems to be made from a "pregnant torso" cake mold....
Yes, evidently they actually have a dedicated mold for those pregnancy cakes now! Be afraid, be very afraid!
The camel is from a Geico commercial...about the "happier than a camel on hump day" what day is it whoop whoop!!
... Does that wang cake have a wang of its own?...
Wangception.
This doesn't have to be an April Fools joke if you don't want it to be. Though, I can see that it is a good way to test the idea out. If everyone writes that you are a horrible person that is corrupting the children and they are going to sue you, then you can just say "April Fools!" and be done with it. Or, if everyone thinks this is great, then you just keep on rolling with it. I vote for keep on rolling with it. And, you are not a horrible person, you are not corrupting the children, and I am not going to sue you. Just so you know.