To Be Blunt...

You're beautiful!
(Picture removed at the baker's request. Please enjoy this lovely picture of Epcot.)
You're beautiful!
You're beautiful!
It's true.
I saw this cake,
On a tin foil plate
And I don't know what to do.
o.0
'Cuz I'm pretty sure that's poo.
>.<
Thanks to Anony M., Elise W., Andy & Sarah, Lindsay B., Kenneth R., Tanya H., & Melissa L. for helping wipe away the tiers. (Better bring an extra dish towel, guys.)
Note- The Wash Me cake was funny and fit in nicely in that spot in the song. Sometimes we feature funny but otherwise well done cakes. Just trying to make you smile guys. -john
*****
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Reader Comments (38)
I think the last one is breathing...
That last one looks as if someone "tossed" their salad all over someone's wedding cake.
My first thought when I saw the third cake was that it was covered in macaroni and cheese. Second thought was m&c would be an improvement.
Each is uniquely, beautifully bizarre - together it's like the collection of them all in one place - my mind is blown, the day can only get better from here. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Love the James Blunt reference ;)
Well, if Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder…, some bakers were wearing blindfolds.
Are you sure these are commercially-made cakes. You're SURE? Oh, my...
Someone put that last one into a cage? Was there was doubt about what it might be capable of? ( I think I just heard it whimpering:"I am NOT an animal!") Cakes aren't supposed to be sad. What kind of show is this?? I want my money back! That cake and I are going to make like a tree and leave...=^-.-^=
The last one is clearly a Swamp Thing! And I simply must know about the one with the Washington DC metrorail map on it. I used to live right near one of those stations.
The "Washington DC Metrorail" (I think) one actually looks really nice. You'd just want to make sure it is displayed with a corner forward.
I thought the third cake was canned corn at first glance. Wow.
DX
I like those black roses, and wish that they'd had a better cake to appear with. Or on.
That "Wash Me" thing looks more like some kind of in-joke prop cake than a real cake. I'd love to know what the backstory for it was.
Sorry, Jen, but the Washington DC cake is not a wreck. Its expertly done, and filled with inside jokes for the couple, including the "wash me" lettering. From the one side we can see, I imaginge that the couple met in DC, in the spring, while taking the train to a Georgetown basketball game. I have no idea what the topper is, however. Very clever, and very well done. Any link to a site showing the other sides?
[Editor's note- The Wash Me cake was funny and fit in nicely in that spot in the song. That's all. Have a nice evening. -john]
The second last one is nice, neat and all. I'm just not sure of the theme however. I'm sure whoever ordered it did so it's all good.
Thanks previous commentors; I get the joke now: WASHington MEtrorail. :D Thanks!
As for the "canned corn" cake: I thought at first it looked like sushi! (But then, that would be an insult to sushi)
Pretty sure that last one is the Trash Heap. (Fraggle Rock anybody?) It will start singing marital advice to the happy couple anytime now...!
I'm ashamed to say that I didn't figure out that this was a song post until I got to "it's true." I just thought you were being snarky. :P
I like the second one. Nice fondant, bold colors. Couple seated at the bottom instead of at the usual top. This is a cake for a couple that knows how to think for itself!
Why would you want to commemorate "runny dog poo on an uncut lawn" on a cake?
The last one looks like those jellied salads from the 60s
Thanks for pointing out the Georgetown U. basketball connection on the "wash me" cake. I thought maybe they met at the hippo enclosure at the Washington zoo, but that didn't explain the jerseys.
So there wasn't a moment when the decorator of the Washington Metrorail stood back and thought, "Ummmm, hang on a minute..." How could you NOT see that?
The Washington Metro cake, although executed well, still falls into the unintended wreck category. The outgoing category champion would be the DOA monogram, with the "it's a lifesize headless replica of the bride" in close second. I have to wonder if the placement of those letters was intentional or unintentional -- was the baker oblivious to the view from that side, or was it another inside joke for the couple? Either way, it made everyone here chuckle.
The WASH ME cake is so well done, (and look how smooth that buttercream is!) not sure why you consider it a wreck. It's kind of different, but I have a feeling it's JUST what the couple wanted. I wondered about the topper, too - I think it's a crystal bell.
The last one looks like the dump monster from Fraggle Rock. Although I've not seen Fraggle Rock since the 80s, so I may be remembering it totally wrong.
I gotta defend the Washington Metro cake too. Monuments, cherry blossoms, and what looks like the edge of an accurate Metro map. We DC insiders are in the know.
I'm not a violent person by nature but if any of those had been my wedding cake, there would have been blood spilled. Cake or death, bride's choice.
Melting, oozing palm trees. There's a new definition of beauty. I think they exploded and ended up on the last cake.
Oh man to that last cake. Covered in poo who wants to it that? Eww lol. Now that I look more the worse it gets. Hope the customer didn't notice.
The 2nd-to-last one actually looks pretty good. I just have no idea what it means. I assume there is some sort of inside joke there involving taking the subways and washing shirts?
That last one# kill it quick before it let's the other aliens in!
Charlie, I am lovin' the Eddie Izzard nod. I think "cake or death" is QUITE appropriate for this site. Makes me think some of the wreckorators chose to do the second before starting on the first.
Why oh why did someone drape a pair of sweat pants over Cake #2?
A lot of perfectly well executed cakes get posted here. [well, not a LOT, but a decent number] Often it seems because the person specifically ordered something funny. In that tradition the WASH ME cake fits, be it funny mistake or intentional joke.
I actually almost like the final one. Just a touch more skill on the tree trunks/branches and a better bark color needed, really. Pretty decent forest/jungle theme.
I kinda like the idea behind cake 1 . I just needs better colours and talented baker
I saw James Blunt live; it was awesome.
Thank you soooo much for entertaining me on my sick leave day. I wash feeling so miserable and they've really cheered me up. I thought I was terrible cake icer but these make me look like a professional.
My heart, however does go out to those poor recipients of these abominationns, me, I'd happily slap the bakers.
Sorry, 'was' :)