Whoaaaa MAN.
January 13, 2014 [putting on sunglasses]
[lighting groovy cigarette]
[signalling groovy bass player to start groovy bass music]
CAKE!
So sad, bra.
;)
Standing like Santa,
;)
Grilling like gangsta...
I wonder who gives out more
COAL.
[whispering]
As the ephemeral frigidity succumbs to day's full wrath...
;)
My cone melts.
CAKE!
Sad.
Cake.
Dripping like mad
;)
Come back to my pad
I'll make you
a
sprinkle
surprise.
;)
Hey Jane, hand me
that shovel.
Why's it always have to be snakes?
;)
Popsicle.
;)
IN MY FACE.
[blows out candle]
Thanks to Kristin and Gary H., Ashley B., Ellen M., Mab R., Wendy H., Rachel J., & Margot V. We're all snapping our fingers in your direction.
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Reader Comments (58)
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That's my emoticon for snapping one's fingers in approval.
Everything I know about beatniks, I learned from Happy Days: "Little bird, with your face pressed up against the pet store window. There is no birdseed for you today. Only death."
Ha! Love it. And by "it" I mean the commentary, not the cakes all that much. Of course now I really want to watch So I Married an Axe Murderer, too.
You forgot the Amazon Link! I use it to check out the daily deals on kindle books!
This was absolutely brilliant.
Sung to the theme from Friends (hey, there was a coffeehouse)
So no one told you cakes were gonna be this way.
Those hats are broke, no joke, and Santa's DOA
Seems like your cones won't last a second here
The froggies say,
Come get a sprinkle gift right now, from me, my de-ar.
Snakes are there for you
(What's the red lipstick for?)
Popsicles' been chewed
(Someone's been here before)
Beatnik wrecks for you
(That's what wreck bakers do...)
Watching Graham Norton on BBC Saturday night, he featured the clip of his mention of CakeWrecks on his "Best of" show. He said you are one of his favorite humour sites! You probably mentioned that before, but I wanted to remind everyone that You (Jen, John and the entire CakeWrecks crew) are INTERNATIONALLY FAMOUS!!!
Boom *snap* boom *snap* boom *snap* bah doom bah boom bah...
Hey, man, pass over those sprinkles. It's nice to share!
That sprinkle thing terrifies me!
Thanks @Sharyn. It's only 7 a.m. here and I'm going to have that song stuck ALL day!
"Excuse me miss, there seems to be a mistake. I believe I ordered the large cappuccino. HELLO!!"
*snap* *snap* *snap* *snap*
I just showed "So, I Married an Axe Murderer" to my son last weekend! Awesome reference! Perhaps you need come Cup-o-chino to wash these down?
So I Married An Axe Murderer! Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :::snaps fingers in utter appreciation:::
I read this with William Shatner's voice in my head. It was transformative, man. snap snap snap
50 geek points if you get that.
OMG sharyn how do you do it XD. Man those cakes have me down, so much negative energy from them.
Octofrog
ooooooooocto frog
Drip ping like mad
Hop back to my pad
You stole my heart and my cat
As soon as I read the title I thought "So I Married an Axe Murderer" and then a reference to Indiana Jones too? I'm in cakewreck heaven...so to speak. *blows out candle*
Cakes…
I dig ‘em
Even when they look kinda funky
And the frosting cone has melted like my mind on a mellow Monday morning
Or a frog morphing into his lily pad in the spontaneous combustion of love….
Santa…
The bagman, the gangsta side man
Playing his slay-bells for those late to the dance.
Sprinkles…
I want ‘em.
Bring the shovel to my hovel, man,
My door is always open to the sound of sprinkles
And the tin tin tabulation of the bell bottoms….
And for goodness snakes,
Keep off my grass, man, that dooby mine, friend
Chill, man,
And the day begins all full of cool,
Like a popsicle in my face…
I’m in my groove
Thanks, Daddy-o….
The more I look at that sprinkle thing the more it freaks me out.
Gummy fish...weird but still yummy
Is that a lime wedge???
Mango eyes???
A prune for a nose????
Tied up nicely seeing as it looks like it's a sandwich of some kind made with whole wheat bread.
No if you'll excuse me, I'm going to toss my...I mean some cookies...on a cake. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.
Totally unrelated...
I'm taking my oldest to the hospital again. More problems with her kidney. Wish us luck!
These cakes...suck.
My beat met the Knicks,
and we all went so bockers.
Hepcat bball stache.
Rats! It's been eons since I've seen that movie and I guess I don't remember it at all.
Congrats on your international fame though!
Also, I ordered from Amazon last night through your link. I order prolifically from Amazon, so I'm trying to rememeber to link through you!
*finger snaps* props on the reference!
@Jodee: good thoughts and good wishes for healing coming your way...may your daughter be well....
How can that be Santa? And why does he have a penis for a belt buckle?
Am I the only one who hasn't seen this film? *hangs head in shame *
@Rachel CrazyMum: You are not alone. I have not seen it, either.
This is bringing up memories of Pia Zadora and Rik Ocasek in the original "Hairspray." Awesome!
That poor, smooshed, faceless, penis-wearing Santa. He definitely must have been on the "naughty" list and was punished
And the snake: Well, that has to be the "happiest" snake I've ever seen. But no matter how happy he is, I agree with Indiana Jones, and am terrified of them. At least the animal kind.
@Jessica H: I heard Shatner too!!! I guess I was thinking about Mr. Tambourine Man.
On the other hand, it could be the brilliant Key & Peele doing their funk band. They said all you have to do is string together words that include food, transportation, and astronomy. See for yourself:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR4LTtOM1gg
(I LOOOoooovvve Key & Peele!!!)
@Rachel CrazyMum - nope. I haven't seen it either. :P
That sprinkle thing scares me, but the snake is so cute!!! :D🐍🐍🐍
@Jodee - prayers for you, your oldest, and everyone around you. Wish I could help. :-(
I now have a sudden desire to watch the part in the last episode of Angel where Spike goes to a bar to recite poetry...
Huh. I didn't know that snakes were even capable of getting a hard....er.. hat.Yeah, that's it: a knitted hard hat. The guy's a fine, upstanding member. Of society. By the way: those orange & green cone-head *creamee* guys were here months ago...remember? (Would I lie about a thing like coneheads in strait jackets?) Man, things are tough ALL over.
=^e.e^=
@Jessica H: Unfortunately, I do get that. Don't do that again, please. Some people are not meant for beat poetry, and Captain, O My Captain is DEFINITELY one of them.
I'm a bit busy today, as it is my geekling twins' 11th birthday, as well as my mother (she of the recently-prevented lymphatic cancer; what a present!) and tonight celebrations start! Official kid party is on Saturday, but their actual birthday is today, so they got to take cupcakes to school. And man--I wish I'd taken a picture. There was nothing intrinsically wrong with them, but Thing 1 picked out animal cupcakes. And green icing mixed with brown may have been MEANT to symbolize trees and grass, but it LOOKED like someone threw up on them. Yuck.
Bellicose bakers
Hardhearted harbingers of horrors...
Love today's post. Nice job, Jen.
I wish we could "like" the comments of others here. Some real gems, as always.
Santa will haunt me forever. Call me crazy but the frog one is kinda cute.
@Jodee: I don't know if this helps, but I had lots of kidney problems as a little kid, but now my kidneys kick ass! (Since age 10.) Hope the same for your baby girl/boy! You're in my thoughts and prayers.
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Major props for the "So I Married An Axe Murderer" reference! I love that movie.
KARATE LADY!!!!!!!!!!! I've missed you lady!
Happy Birthday @SaraCVT's geeklings! And Sara? Give your mom an extra hug for me. M'kay?
@sending ~ At least this time I only snorted water out my nose. Not as bad as coffee but still not exactly pleasant. o.O But yes, those mustachioed melty things have been here before. You're not imagining things :-) Well, maybe you are imagining SOME things but not that one.
Jen, you stole my heart. And my cat.
Brilliant post.
There's a big damn snake on that cake, Jock...
I believe most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
@Jodee, you've been in my thoughts this week. My good friend had a kidney removed last Wednesday. Yesterday, he went home and made a Luke Skywalkeer costume out of his pajamas and blankets and was waving his light saber (no really, it was a light saber. No double entendre here,) around for good luck. I'll ask him to wave it around for you and your offspring (the light saber, I mean.)
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I can't decide if that second one looks like an autopsy, or an abdominal surgery in progress.
Love it! So I Married an Axe Murderer is my favorite movie of all time. I quote it often and only my family and oldest friends have a clue what I'm talking about ;-)
@Jodee~~.HA. .HA. (Well, at least I didn't say, "HaHa, M.F!" like Eddie Murphy always liked to say!) =^~.-^=
If that was Santa where the heck was his face?? Lol just looked like a poo log with a hat pretending it was Santa to me. And yeah these cakes just made my brain explode.. again.
Jodee, I hope your eldest is doing OK, and you finally get some answers.
Excellent post - totally brought me back to 1993 when my sister and I would repeatedly watch that. By the way, I saw that Graham Norton show (while in England) and I almost jumped out of my chair when I saw the bit about cakewrecks! Well done to all the cakewrecks team - you are now uber famous!
My absolute favourite film of all time - love it :)
I am loving the Sprinkle Surprise Man so much... in a very train (cake) wyreck way. Maybe my brain is warped finally from being here so long, but I can't stop looking at him. He has mesmerized me. Just what IS all of that stuff?
Birthday greetings to the Geeklings and Grandma. Prayers for kidney health.