Eat Your Heart Out, Shakespeare
September 3, 2013 [walking into spotlight]
[striking dramatic pose]
Poo bee...
;)
... or NOT poo bee?
;)
That is the question.
[raising fist to the heavens]
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the slings and arrows of outrageous fortunes,
;)
Or to take arms against a sea of tribbles!
;)
["Meep?"]
and by opposing...
END THEM.
;)
["MEEP!"]
[raising both arms and bellowing]
Tie dye!!
;)
To seep no more!
And by a sheep,
;)
today we end the heartache
;)
and the thousand natural shocks...
;)
... is that a hair?! EW!
[Ahem.]
'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.
;)
Tie dye, to seep, perchance on buttercream!
;)
Aye,
;)
There's the flub.
Blow, winds, and crack your heartfelt thanks to Jennifer T., Janet, Carol F., Lilly P., Amanda M., Alli S., Christy L., Sarah F., Sarah Jane, Brittany B., Paige H., and Karyn T, our Shakespearean pros.
****
PS: Been a while since English Lit 101? Then here, let me google that for you:
"To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The Heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks
That Flesh is heir to? 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep,
To sleep, perchance to Dream; Aye, there's the rub."
Reader Comments (90)
*applauds enthusiastically!*
Genius! Brava! Brava!
And if you have not already, I recommend the Canadian show "Slings and Arrows" -- it's awesome.
I never did understand that soliloquy, but now it is perfectly clear.
That said, those rainbow tribbles are just so darn cute! I'm guessing #10 is carrot cake, otherwise I can't see the significance of the decorations. Unless Jimmy & Matt are rabbits?
On the bright side, there are no misspellings today...
*standing ovation!*
BRAVA!!! *APPLAUSE*APPLAUSE* ! That was sheer, sick genius, Sharyn! While the Bard may not be quite up to "eating his heart out", it could be that he's spinning in his grave...=^e.e^=
Ok, I confess, I like the rainbow tribbles.
Hamlet + Cake Wrecks = AWESOME
So. Very. Well. Done.
Brilliant!! And I teach English, hitting Hamlet about every other year, so it hasn't been a while. I love it!
A rose by any other name...
Thanks Professor!
I personally happen to like those rainbow puffball things, but great job otherwise!
Ahh perfect :D
Huh! For years and years, I've had it in my head that it was "Ah, there's the rub." Now you tell me that it's "Aye"?? But...but..that sounds so "Popeye"! Oh, well--it's nice to learn something new every now and then!
Veddy good job, Sharyn~I toss you a virtual rose! =^~.~^=
Well done as usual, Sharyn!
Oh, and I wanted to add that we know that "Mr. Bill" himself had a great sense of humor, so he likely would have enjoyed this "rendition"!
(standing) Bravo! Bravo! (enthusiastic, bordering on wild, yet restrained applauding....) Somewhere the Bard...or maybe Sir Francis Bacon...is smiling. You have made English majors who are also Thespians and lovers of puns soooooooo happy! Clearly, the cake's the thing wherein thou'st humour doeth take wing....
Wow. Just... Wow.
YES! I want this as an Oral Interp piece now. I wonder if I could get the local speech teacher to go for that?
By a sheep, I mean,
by Martha Washington's wig,
I shall be avenged!
Ahh...Sharyn, this post is fantastic! Hamlet has always been one of my favourite plays -- especially his soliloquy.
This version is awesome...I will be smiling all day :)
Mel, I <3 your comment
...and for the record, those rainbow tribbles are rather cute ;)
Sharyn,
You make my heart smile.
When will you open your own shoppe? You could still write part time for Jen & have your own blog as well. Right after reading my daily cake wreck humor I would sit at the feet of your blog to take in parodies of songs, soliloquies, sonnets, oh my.
It's obvious you love it!
Aye, there's the flub - love it!
Thanks for telling us those first two were bees, 'cause I wasn't seeing it. Can someone tell me why they're barfing up pinky-orange gel? I Googled beehive cakes, but none of the results had anything similar.
:p
Two questions: first, why are the second set of bees vomiting? And second, since when is Q*Bert pink?
I can't decide whether to applaud or to ask you what drug you're on (and can I have some?). *chortle*
I lost it at "sea of Tribbles." Sharyn, your genius truly knows no bounds. Thanks for the giggle-fest. :)
"Though this be madness, yet there is method in 't."
As if I needed a reminder why Cake Wrecks is so awesome. Where else can you find a mashup of Shakespeare and mashed cake?
@ vj & nagzilla : My 6 year-old daughter likes to remind me that honey is "bee vomit" whenever we pull out the honey bear. She knows more about animals than I (from tv), so I'm going to believe her. In that case the wreck is scientifically correct yet disgusting, along the lines of the childbirth cakes, though not nearly as far on the disgusting scale, thank goodness.
Sharyn: Brilliant! I hope to see you at the Shakespeare Festival next year.
VJ: I think the orange goo is meant to portray bees carrying pollen, or making honey. However, bees carry pollen in sacs on their legs, and honey is made in the hive. So, epic fail on all parts.
Sorry, but the wittiness of today's wreckage reporting was overshadowed by the simple "Traditional" sticker on the sheep packaging.
Why are the Poo Bees on the second wreck vomiting orange marmalade?
Oh, and... BRAVO!!!! BRAVO!!! (wiping away a shed tear)...
Ew, a hair!? I am laughing so hard right now! Thank you, this is genius- and Haiku Joy: Martha Washington's wig? LOL the perfect follow-up. Now, where do I go for a flotilla of tribble cakes?
Excellent post Sharyn! My brother in law is a thespian extraordinaire here in Hampton Roads, and The Bard is, of course, his favorite. I had to print this out, I know he would never come to the site first, he's going to howl when he reads this tonight!!! Thank you for the laugh, I needed it!
Is it weird that I read it in my head in a masculine British voice? Loved it!
Oh, that this too too solid frosting would melt, thaw, and resolve itself into a poo....
"Dost thou think because thou art virtuous there shall be no more cakes and ale?"
Twelfth Night
Let's hope there will still be cakes, at any rate. And this web site. xoxo
@ vj: The "pinky-orange gel" is "honey". What else could it possibly be? Don't answer that! =^>.<^=
BRAVA!!! Well done, Sharyn!
I bow in your general direction chanting, "I'm not worthy!"
PS - One can have great frosting with a bad cake. One just needs to lick it off.
And now there's Bacon. [He] can do anything! I've been monitoring the "who wrote Shakespeare" debate for years, tending to side with the Bacon camp mainly to tease my sister, but ya gotta admit: calling a play Hamlet is a pretty obvious clue.
#1 I see slabs of fondant (?) but it appears to be hollow. Did we forget something, by chance?
#2 Bees do produce honey pretty much by regurgitation (let's get serious -- they don't have hands, so the only other alternative is even worse), but I could do nicely without such a graphic reminder.
#6 Exactly how fast did this cake have to be spun to get that effect? And how long did cleanup take after the 'trial and error' phase? "For the third time, Bevis, slow it down."
#8 "I think we should see other people." I agree -- this was supposed to be a three-hour cruise, but we've been here for years. Sticking around after the others were rescued seemed like a cool idea at the time, but how are we supposed to come up with new gadgets without the Professor? Speaking of, just how did you make that cake, anyway?
#9 Manager's Special level of contempt for customers, maybe -- I'd return that if it was free.
Brava, brava, brava, Diva!
Meep! <3
Sorry, love that word. ^-^;
Great post and a wonderful prose~! *applauds*
Oh, Sharyn...By the way, did you happen to wear an apron today? I only ask because some of these wrecks look like they could make quite the mess for anyone *handling* them... =^~.~^=
hi jen. you are doing a great job with your blog and keeping me laughing all the way in zimbabwe.keep it up
today i especially liked the 'i think we should see other people' cake. i feel sorry for the poor soul who received it
Poetry, shear poetry. To sheep, perchance to scream.
Brilliant as always, but as a Shakespeare fan, I am in love today's post.
"I think we should see other people" is quite the cop-out! What kind of chicken-s*** person DOES that?! Bright side: at least it doesn't say "I see dead people."
=^x.x^=
The 99% that was Sharyn was brilliant of course.
The 1% that was Patrick Stewart's voice in my head wasn't bad either.
Ahhhh a English lesson and a good laugh. My day is complete, my friend!
Thank you for making my favorite soliloquy funny!
I do agree with Craig though. I have long known that honey is bee vomit. That wreckerator did not have to remind me in such a clear fashion. smh
"For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come?"
You forgot the best line, the clincher of the whole thing!
Brilliantly done! Thanks for the smiles!