Friday
Aug232013
And Now, A Crappy Song From Aladdin
August 23, 2013 I can show you poo swirls
;)
Shiny, glistening, fetid!
Wreckerator, just when did you cast
all good taste aside?
;)
I can open your eyes
;)
Take you blunder...
;)
... by bluuuunder
;)
Cakey dreams torn asunder
;)
as the giant cupcake sighs.
Day glow poo swiiiiiirls
;)
A new, wrecktastic form of goo!
I think that WE should go. Let's TAKE it slow!
;)
I hear the bride is screaming...
No more poo swiiiiirls!
;)
They're just not something you should chew
So, let's be candid here:
It's crystal clear!
;)
that gangrenous poo swirls
will never do.
Thanks to Cameron F., Holt, Carrie G., Eric C., Erin E., Talia B., Marlissa D., Anony M., Meagan B., and Anne for opening up whole new worlds of wreckage.
Reader Comments (58)
I sang the entire thing aloud. You should have seen my sister's face.
O M G!!! It's so hard to laugh and gag at the same time. Another hit for Sharyn!!
Sharyn, your talent is truly stunning. I actually heard the music as I read this post.
Fantastic.
Also, I've probably watched Aladdin more times than is good for a mother's sanity.
All part and parcel of the whole Mommy gig. Phenomenal maternal power, itty bitty fingerprints all over your living space.
Truth in advertising in the Mr. Poo Cakes...LOL a novelty that I'm sure someone will purchase...someone with zero taste... :/
~~~Sharyn~~~
Brava! Brava! Bring up the house lights--take a bow!!
That was disgusting!! (Oh--AND hilarious!)
Here: I'm tossing a huge bunch of "virtual roses" at you (no thorns!)
=^~.~^= (Just don't expect them every day; they're pretty expensive to type.)
I was already queasy this morning. This didn't really help O.O
Great job Sharyn!
Awesome song talents notwithstanding, I feel a bit sick.
What's interesting is that my sister recently made rainbow swirl cupcakes, and was saying she'd never seen the attempt made before. Clearly that's because someone made a real effort to make sure these ones never saw the light of day.
The ones my sis made were so pretty... http://rocksaltuk.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/rainbow-cakes-128.jpg?w=700&h=
Wow. Best crappy post ever! XD
"O M G!!! It's so hard to laugh and gag at the same time. Another hit for Sharyn!!" ~~ DebbaSue
"Sharyn, your talent is truly stunning. I actually heard the music as I read this post." ~~ Kat
I second both of the above.
WHAT the heck is that last one?!! It really does look gangrenous!! Is it some form of sticky bun? Yikes!
Best. Post. Ever.
Oh my goodness...the strangest part is that I actually had "A Whole New World" in my head this morning. Now, the images have changed, however. Aladdin wearing a poo hat.
The green..... swirls of slimy, shiny..... whateverthatwas made me gag. Ug
However, I now have "Bear Necessities" no longer running through my head. Thanks, Sharyn!!
Good lord those almost put me off chocolate icing...almost
Let me 'splain--no, there is too much. Let me sum up. Fabulous, Harry, I love the feathers!
Important safety tip:
Poo-brown icing = Bad.
Poo-brown icing topped with greenish glaze = Apocalyptic Bad.
I disagree that ANYTHING that swirls can be classified as "x-colored poo." Those rainbow-esque cupcakes remind me of crayons I had as a kid, that colored four different colors depending on how you held it.
The "Mr. Poo" cakes, meanwhile, have NO swirl at all. They look instead to be sad little reindeer.
Amazing. When they WANT to make it look like poo, it doesn't!
I would never guess what those Mr. Poo Cakes were supposed to be. I'm still not sure what all is going on there, even with the handy drawing.
Pick Your Poem: Two Views of Poo on A Fecal Friday
Poo swirls, poo swirls,
Swirling all around,
Green, florescent day-glow, and of course, brown.
Piles of poo upon a cake
Does not a tranquil picture make.
Bakers have a slight blind spot-y
When it comes to matters of the potty.
What goes in should not come out
On a cake to be smeared about.
Such can make one’s stomach churn,
And cause esophageal burn.
What goes through the bakers mind --
Taking inspiration from their behind?
Perhaps it is an “inside” joke,
Though, now outside, it makes one choke.
(Nothing more quite says love,
After the wedding bells have rung,
Than two golden love birds
Cooing on a pile of dung….
“Let me show my love,
That’s what I’ll do,
With a wedding cake
Covered with poo.”)
Oh, bakers, bakers, thanks a lot,
But please move on beyond the pot,
Like diarrhea, this joke’s getting thin,
It’s time to reign brown icing in.
There must be something else that you can do,
(thinking…my brow furrowed with wrinkles…)
Wait a minute, here’s a thought,
Have you ever tried using sprinkles…?
* * * * *
I must confess it makes me laugh,
And causes me to snicker,
Every time I see this gaffe,
(Is my humor getting sicker?)
Bakers never seem to learn
Brown icing looks like poo,
And I am thankful for that mental block,
As I’m sure are some of you.
It brings out in me my inner kid,
When it was slightly naughty
To laugh and joke and make remarks
Of matters of the potty.
Some things are classic, universal,
And will forever be.
We “kids” will always laugh at this,
I hope there’s no reversal.
So, brown frosting, may your color shine,
I raise my cake to you,
And to Cake Wrecks, my fondest hope,
May you never deplete your poo.
@Sharyn: Superb, as always!
@Kat: Very nicely done. I spoke the last line in character.
@CDN: "...Aladdin wearing a poo hat." Wow. Thanks for that image. : - /
Is it just me, or do the Mr. Poo cakes lack true poo-iness? I mean, they are indeed ugly and an unfortunate shade of, erm, mocha, but to be trying to make a poo pile and come up with that? *I* am not impressed. We have seen *so* much more realistic looking poo piles here when the wreckerator wasn't even trying to make a poo pile. So to actually GO (hehe, see what I did there?) for 'poo pile' and come up short? That is wrecktastic. Ironically wrecky. Practically perfect in every way.
Ack! I've become a poo connoisseur!
That last one is what I imagine a brain fungus would look like.
@mel: I less than three your salute to number two!
@Joan: You were right. Your sister's cupcakes WERE so pretty! I would gladly eat those in a heartbeat.
I am always up for a party. However, I think if I got an invitation to a Super Bowel party, I'd have to pass. Or punt. Or be a party pooper.
The sign on the Mr. Poo cupcakes was much better than the cupcakes themselves.
Sharyn, as always, another hit!
Oh, Cake Wrecks. You fill my heart with snarkey cakeey glee. :D
HI! I'm VAL! I live in the Valley! I'M FUN--are YOU?? Look, I crack myself UP, 'kay?! Like, syrslysyrsly...These CAKES? Like, WTF, man. At first glance, I thought those were (ha ha) like, sweaty WORMS on the top of that first cake...Ha Ha, RIGHT? But then I (Der-da-Der, RIGHT?) get that the moisture/water/whatEVer was (ha ha) on the INSIDE of the lid, 'kay? Syrsly ha ha RIGHT? F.Y.I , for you *UN*-scientific types, THAT means that something INSIDE was maybe, like, BREATHING or some crap and......oh s***.
The "Mr. Poo" character is a Japanese thing (search Google Images for "unko chan" and "unko san"). If you have the Whatsapp icon collection or the iOS icon keyboard turned on, you'll find it there. It's in the Unicode character set ("PILE OF POO").
The real problem is that "Mr. Poo" here is nothing like Unko Chan. A total wreck.
I've heard of a technicolor yawn, but the day-glow poo swirls?!
And Mr. Poo...the ONE time that a spiraled brown mound of frosting is exactly what is required, but the wrecker screws it up!
Not sure why, but the rainbow swirl cupcakes put me in mind of Tupperware from the 70's. and they were definitely the best of this bunch.
New rule: Don't read this blog while eating breakfast. I don't think I'm hungry anymore...
Is it sad that I know that song so well that I didn't have any problem with changing the words to go along with this? Thanks for this, I needed the giggle! :)
Wow. I never thought I'd have my appetite taken away by looking at cake...but it's now gone! Grossest cakes ever!
The inspiration for the poo swirl cupcakes:
http://youtu.be/rClDI3yWG94
Day-glow swirls of poo
Eyes wide open out of fear
Giant cupcake frowns
(I know, it's not as good as Haiku Joy's, but it's all I could come up with...)
I think this is far and away the most revolting post I've ever seen here. The steaming pile (complete with condensation on the plastic) in the first photo was bad, but that last one actually made me gag. Ugh.
The third cake down looks like Oscar the Grouch has come down with a nasty case of furuncles which all have ruptured at once. IOW, pus, not poop. Just as stomach-turning, perhaps more.
@Mel --- virtual standing ovation to you!!
*Clapping furiously*
8th photo down: I think I might know what that bird's nest is made of, because I've made something that looks "similar" (but NO, NOT like POO, fortunately!) and it is YUMMY!! I don't know how they did theirs, but what I do is melt a large bag of both chocolate and butterscotch chips together, toss in a bag of crispy chow chow mein noodles, spoon into a greased muffin tin and make an indent with the back of a spoon.When cool, pop them out, put them in clean cupcake papers, and nestle little foil-wrapped chocolate eggs, or Peeps, or jelly beans in them. I've gotten really lazy, and the last batch I made was simply spooned onto foil in little lumps without ANY candy, and renamed "beaver dams." You can use pretzel sticks instead of the chow mein noodles, too (yummy salty/sweet effect). Everyone I know (except chocolate-allergic son) LOVES this stuff. (Just make sure it's served at "room temperature". Right out of the fridge, it's too hard, and in the heat they get really messy.) Give it a chance-it's yummy! I SWEAR, you won't think it's what you'll want to say it looks like! Now, I must excuse myself to go have a giggling fit.
!!=^-.-^=!!
Now that song will be stuck in my head all night!
HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
*vomit*
WOW! My kids started singing along with this post even before I knew what was happening! They were right on with the melody and everything! You ROCKED it today!!
A Whole New Pooooooo!
@Just Andrea: It is so 1-derful that you less than 3 the salute to number 2. If it made you smile, well, that's what we come here 4.
@Maureen: Thank you; I appreciate it. (virtual bow and wave of thanks)
Sharyn--fantastic, and so, so, funny! Also to Mel, Kat, and SaraCVT; applause! Well done.
On a related note, I think why Jen needed a little space...
Sharyn has shown us a world,
Glistening, steaming & fecal,
Tell me, wreckies, now when did you last let your maturity slide?
*snort*
per mel:
"Nothing more quite says love,
After the wedding bells have rung,
Than two golden love birds
Cooing on a pile of dung…".
per Barbara Anne:
"Stay single, stay happy."
;)
P.S. Just Andrea's salute to mel was PRICELESS
Blearghhhh!! Those are so nasty! The creators would not want to eat those cakes if someone else made them for them so why do the creators think other people would want to eat their disgusting creations?!
Ahhhh...I'm looking at the SUPER BOWEL cookie "to the tune of" Rick James' "Superfreak"...(like, what else could possibly work...?) I'm just flipping back and forth between YouTube and Cake Wrecks...I do that sometimes. Mmmmm...Pink Floyd just came on--I hear them better in the dark, but I'd have to get up, and I'm too comfortable at the moment. Theardare is welcome to join me, of course. He has, on occasion...I keep a stash of his favorite snacks.
-------------------
@Will: ("this is far and away the most revolting post I've ever seen here.") Well, all I can say to THAT is THIS: You couldn't possibly have been all THAT "far" OR "away", because there have been things MUCH worse on here! Am I right, all of you "Wreckerans" out there? (You know who you are...Wreck "junkies"...those who are "veterans" of Cakewrecks? (Yeah--US! There you go!)
(See??) =^~.-^=
--------------------
Oh- @ Pauline: I feel like this: all that ANY of us can be IS "as good as" we want to be! (If that makes any sense, and I think it does., but it's a little pretzel-y...) (Anybody wanna take a whack at explaining what I just said? To me? Because I just confused myself, even though I knew EXACTLY what I meant, before I wrote it.) Holy sheep dip, somebody put me out of your misery...! =^O.0^=
I had to laugh at this post because: a) poop jokes always makes me giggle, and b) my younger son started potty training this week! Perfect topic for today! :D
I don't know WHAT the deal is, but there it is again: the old "Cake Resembling A Poobox (litter box)" routine (C.R.A.P.(l.b.) for short)....(Okay, CRAP(lb) for even SHORTER, but that's my final offer. I do have my reputational integrity to consider--(r.i. for short) Come what may, there will ALWAYS be one out there, somewhere. And as long as they ARE out there, somewhere, you KNOW that sooner or later, it WILL end up in HERE....RIGHT here. (Go ahead~ admit it: ISN'T that reassuring?)
=^-.-^= SOME of us think so...
The last one kinda scares me. Call me crazy but I would still eat the cupcakes. I'd close my eyes but I'd eat them.
Lol now that song is stuck in my head for the rest of the night. Ah well could be worse I suppose. As long as the day glow cupcakes don't haunt my dreams tonight I think I just might be ok lol.
I demand that a "like" button be installed for posts AND comments!
@Barbara Anne: What??? And miss the sound of love birds cooing on a pile of dung...???? :-)