Up All Night To Get "Lucky"
July 29, 2013 Ok, guys, I think it's time to go over the "guidelines" again for wishing someone good luck. Sooo...
;)
Well? Are ya, punk?
EXCELLENT.
Now,
Rule The First: Pick ONE sentiment and go with it.
;)
It's either "Good Luck" or possibly "Get Lucky." Or, in this case, maybe "Get Lumpy." Heh.
(Anyone else want to stab that giant bump before it scurries away?)
Rule The Second: Watch your handwriting.
Believe it or not, a cursive capital L is the single most difficult letter in the entire known universe to write:
;)
Which is probably why this baker tried for a cursive capital Q instead; sure, it looks bad, but at least it doesn't spell anything embarrassing:
;)
Gentlemen, start your engines.
Of course, even if you nail the L, there's still that pesky U to contend with:
;)
o.0
Yowza, "best of suck" and "good lick?" How much dirtier can an innocuous "good luck" cake get?!
;)
I had to ask, didn't I.
Which brings us to:
Rule The Third: Mixing botched cursive letters with printed ones is a sure-fire recipe for disaster.
Hilarious, awkward disaster:
;)
Yeah, Christina. Try not to screw that up.
Thanks to Bethany P., Gail K., Jodee R., Kristine W., Amy S., Tracy M., & Christina W., who would not believe how often I see dirty good luck cakes. Or, ok, maybe you would.
Reader Comments (43)
You know... getting a cake like the last one could be a good thing. Pretty sure I wouldn't mind!
I have a cold,
I'm feeling off.
Each time I laugh
I start to cough.
Scrolling down
From "luck" to "suck"
I'm hacking up
Some awful guck.
Poor Jennifer! *cough*
I can't draw breath,
This laugh/cough fit
Might be my death.
If I pass out
Reading this post
Here is what
I thought the most:
"Send me flowers
To ease my aches,
Please don't give me
"Good Luck" cakes!"
This is the next logical step for generation Y.
When they were children, they bacame accustomed to receiving a trophy simply for showing up at the field. Some, while in preschool, received awards for washing their hands after using the rest room. Others earned an A+ in penmanship even though no one taught them penmanship and they never learned how to write more than three cursive letters. Now they want a cake for the most rudimentary sex acts. Really! When I was young you had to really perform to get a cake. You had to be spectacular!! Not to brag, but I received a few cakes in my day and I had to work for them. I'm exhausted just thinking about it..
I think I'll go get myself a piece of cake.
I'm sad. I've never gotten a cake for my efforts like Christina! :'(
Wow, were some of these cake recipients doing a stint at the annual porn awards in Las Vegas? If so, then they are quite appropriate.
Wow.
1. "Uh, well....I WAS."
2. "Kids? I think I found Gerry Gerbil...."
3. likekkk.. Hoo caresh? Itch the Shuperbowl. Evvrbudeezh iszh prashturd..
4. Cute, and just right for the coming-out party.
5. A baked "day-after-date-night" note?
6. You KNOW that says "LUCK"...(What Jenny-babe knows is none of our beeswax..."credit where credit's due," you know...)
7. I wonder how much prettier/fancier/fresher the cake would've been if Christina'd actually been, oh, I don't know..."awesome"?
=^e.e^=
Maybe that last one is in celebration of acquiring a Porn Name...
You know, you just *might* want to put a "possibly NSFW" warning on this post....wow indeed!
I laughed and coughed for quite a space
as I thought of SuBee's x-rated trophy case
(Does it seem odd that
when I'm ill
I speak in rhyme
against my will?)
Feel better Zoomom!
SuBee ~ o.O
"Way to go" might have worked better on some of these but I've been here long enough to know that they can screw that up too.
Cake 1: An activity based upon the book “50 Shades of Naughtiness,” involving the tactile stimulation of one person designated to be “Lucky.”
Cake 2: For Sandy, who was an exemplary “Lucky” in the above mentioned game.
Cake 3: The two balls are a definite give away that this cake refers to a fast, but satisfying entwining, or quck, as defined by the Urban Dictionary….
Cake 4: A pre-event cake for Derek and Andrew who are about to enter the National Tag-team Vacuuming Olympics.
Cake 4: A congratulatory cake for the winner of the little known “Ice Cream Cone Lick-Off” contest (“I Want Sprinkles” Division), who is then crowned “The Emperor of Ice Cream,” in a rather vague homage to Wallace Stevens.
Cake 5: With its sperm balloons…crudely celebrates just what it says….
Cake 6: Same celebration as Cake 5, yet more refined and genteel….with a butterfly symbolizing the metamorphosis to womanhood, accented by the single rose apart from the rest…representing being, in the vernacular of today’s motif, deflowered….
@zoomom...oh, so funny! well done, well done!!!
@SuBee...I applaud your cake-worthiness! Alas, in my neighborhood we didn't have cake, but rather candy bars....I only got a couple of "Snickers"....'nuff said....
Cake 2 - I wondered where my hamster had got to...
Interestingly enough, my son was learning how to write his name in cursive, and had the pesky u/i problem happen after an L. He and his brother were laughing over the result.
SuBee's trophy case -
Best of Breed, Endurance Run,
Miss Congenial.
There's a big assumption here that these spellings were unintentional.
Ahhh the gutter minds on a monday morning :D thanks for the laughs. These cakes might have been at the porn oscars, if there is such a thing O_o
Uh.... Jen? Maybe you should put up a " Dirty Language" warning? That last one ...
Well, Maybe I read it wrong. I hope so. 0.o
@ SuBee & Haiku Joy ... *slow golf clap*.
It's amazing that I don't go through more pairs of contacts than I do with the amount of tears I cry in laughter over the cakes, but even more so over the comments you clever, clever, deliciously wicked, wonderful Wrecky Minions share with us lucky enough to visit this site daily!
@SuBee: Hmmmm...you can't be all THAT exhausted if you're going after more "cake"...!
@mel: ("I only got a couple of "Snickers" ") That's a sad story! I'm curious, though. Did they at least "unwrap" them for you first?
=^~.-^=
@SuBee - You vixen! ;)
@mel - I'd rather get a Snickers than a Three Musketeers. All for one and one for all...if you know what I mean.
#2 Bump? Meh. Possible large hair in lower right corner? Hurk.
SuBee, I know what you mean. About kids and awards, that is. Oy. What I consider to be the definitive statement on 'award inflation' is found in "The Incredibles", where Bob & Helen are having a rather heated er, 'discussion' about Dash's 'graduation' from 4th grade to 5th. Plus the anti-egalitarian point made throughout the movie that over-hyping achievement is actually a subtle way of denigrating it.
As for the rest of the cakes, two things: 1. If the message you want on your cake can possibly be morphed into some sort of innuendo, stay well away from the Bevis Bakery. Heh. Heh heh. B. What, no Fireman Cake reference?
I think the receivers of these cakes were (Daft) Punk'd!
@zoomom - Feel better soon! (Maybe the drugs are contributing to the rhyming abilities?)
@SuBee & @HaikuJoy - LOL!! Well done!
@mel - no worries, we still love ya!
@SuBee:("Now they want a cake for the most rudimentary sex acts. I'm exhausted just thinking about it..
I think I'll go get myself a piece of cake.")
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, how about sex for the most rudimentary cake? How about sex ON a cake? Which is worse/better? Do we even care? Can we really have our cake and eat it, too? And if so, would it be before or after the sex? So many questions~~so little time! I don't know how you can just gallivant off after cake with all of these weighty problems to ponder and/or solve. How flighty!
=^u.u^=
Maybe, just maybe, they're putting the flotsam *in* the icing now, instead of just on top. If only Sandy could be so lucky!
@Craig:"Possible large hair in lower right corner? " Hair, my ASS! I'm telling you that lump is a mouse--so it stands to reason (or my version of it) that your so-called "hair" is, in actuality, the TAIL of said mouse. The poor little critter got caught in the mixer at the bakery and ended up in that cake.The tail ended up on one side and the body on the other.That's my story and it would stand up in court if it wasn't dead (and still had a leg to stand on)!
=^e.e^= ¡Ay, caramba!" (You wanna take it outside? We can TAKE it outside! Go on! If I'm not out in five, start without me.)
You never fail to make me laugh. Holy crap, these are hilarious. Best of suck to you. :)
@SaraV: Seriously? You'd rather have one than three at once? I've never tried it, but it does sound...er, like you'd get awfully full, awfully fast. So, yeah~I guess one's quite enough.
=^e.e^= Don't you look at me that way! You know darn well that I'm talking about Snickers!! [The CANDY BAR, you fool, not the CLOWN!]
@zoomom: made me laugh...a lot...
@SuBee: thank you for helping me understand the phrase "takes the cake"...
This thread is USELESS without Christina's phone number.
Just.
Sayin'.
@zoomom-I had that cough a couple of weeks ago and I couldn't rhyme anything. I'm very, very jealous.
@mel-I'm sure you deserved cake!!
@sendingintheclowns- I refuse to feel guilty about my cake eating past. I do feel bad, however, about NOT being flighty. I think it was all that cake.
@Haiku Joy-Thank you. I am honored to have my own haiku. I'm going to hang a copy in my trophy case!
I read this whole thing with fingers crossed:
please don't let there be a Falkor cake, please don't let there be a Falkor cake...
yup, much relief to reach the end!
zoomom wins the interwebs
Laughing out loud for the first time in a long time - your captions - this post - oh dear goodness handwriting teachers look away now and spare your precious eyes.
@sendingtheclowns -- no...we always kept our Snickers wrapped...
@SaraV -- didn't think of that...you're right!
@lisadh -- thanks...it's nice to be accepted...even with my shortcomings....
@SuBee -- if I did, it probably would have been a Ho-Ho.....and only one, at that....
That Christina cake was so pretty too lol. Heck I would still eat it and pretend it said luck on it but I would be quietly snickering as I did. Wow just plain wow. If they couldn't see what those L's looked like the wreckerators are either blind or messing with people. Probably both.
The next time I make a cake, no matter who it's for or what it's about, I swear to Bowie, it's gonna say "Best of Suck and Good Lick!" No one will get it but me, laughing my ass off in the corner, but I'm used to it. Besides, the weird, befuddled look on people's faces when they read an in-joke they don't get is often even funnier than the in-joke itself.
I make my own fun. Sprinkle me with water, and I make my own gravy.
Your Pal,
Storm
Great, now I can't get that damn Daft Punk song out of my head!
Did anyone else read #3 as "Strumpets: stop arguing!" No? Ok nevermind.
Gee -- the comments went quickly into the gutter this morning, didn't they? I'm not complaining; just observing.
I live in Germany. Cake #6 says "Good Fick Jennifer". Fick is German for f**k. I laughed out loud even more than usual. After a hard day's work I visit this site and laugh myself silly. Keep up the good work!
Brigham from Germany
Maureen -- Yes.
Also I really love that "Good Lick" has that perfect star sprinkle to dot the "i." Hehe.
Cake wrecks plus Daft Punk= Best. Post. Ever.