50 Ways to Peeve Your Mother
May 7, 2013 With Mother's Day coming up this weekend, I think we could all use a little help selecting the best cake for Mom. And who better to do that than Paul Simon?
HIT IT, PAUL.
The problem is you buy such lousy cakes, you see.
;)
The answer's easy if you eye them critically.
I'd like to help since all you want to do is please.
;)
There must be
50 ways to peeve your mother.
You know it's really not my habit to intrude
;)
But colon cupcake cakes are really kind of rude
It's pretty obvious this teapot is a dude:
;)
[eyebrow waggle]
Heh. Aheh.
Ahem.
There must be 50 ways to peeve your mother.
50 ways to peeve your mother.
You glaze a poo stack, Jack.
;)
Skip the cake pan, Stan.
;)
Put on some bear toys, Roy.
;)
Just listen to me.
Such a big fuss, Russ.
;)
Can't you see it's just too muuuuch?
There's no gift card for me, Lee.
;)
Still a cheapskate, I see.
Thanks to Mariel C., Casey, Susan S., Aaron R., Stephanie, Becky M., Meredith M., Ailis M., & Kathryn H., who know Mom will love anything you get her, but a better cake wouldn't hurt.
Reader Comments (50)
Urk D:
I am baffled by the two weird snake-like CCC (patooie!) things. What is that supposed to be? And why are there at least two of them out there?
If my son brought my any of those cakes, well except maybe the teapot one, that one rocks ... but yeah if I got any of the others, I'd write him out of my will.
There are actually two separate wrecks for that one cupcake cake design -- and both are equally hideous. Wow. I wonder how it was supposed to look?
So "cake" 3 and 6 obviously came from the same template. I'd love to see what the original was supposed to be!
Hey, I'm a mom, and if the cake has chocolate, I'll take it!
GREAT song writing, Sharyn. Just awesome!! I'll be humming that song the rest of the day, and giggling.
Oh, and Jen and I (and a few others?) have the distinction of celebrating Mothers' Day and our birthday both on the same day, May 12th, this year. So, do we get a double-decker cake for that?
I'm with Cakeburnette. My God, what ARE those things? I scrolled between ccc #3 and #6 several times to try to figure it out. I'm thinking maybe an eye? With a line underneath to show it's tired? 'Cause Mom just works so darn hard she's exhausted? I know my mom just loves it when I give her a backhanded compliment like that. "Mom, you do so much for all of us. Must be why you look so haggard. You're the best."
Where did you get pics of 2 of my annual mother's day cakes??
Love Paul Simon, I don't mind that ear worm at all.
After 21 years of motherhood, I have never had to suffer any of those horrors. My advice to all young moms - teach your kids to cook. I get homemade crepes and cappucinos in bed for mother's day, not ccc crap!
Makes me glad I'm not a mother.
Awesome work, Sharyn! And of course the cakes are ----- wrecktastic.
well done, Sharyn, well done (unlike these cakes...)
The Eye of Ra sees
your mother hates cupcake cakes.
The Eye of Ra knows.
Is it just me, or does the last one look like there's an old-school Cylon waiting to jump out of it?
Look at the PooCake! It's being photobombed by a mysterious hand trying to continue decorating that cake with a PARTIALLY. EATEN. STRAWBERRY. No amount of chocolate will make that ok with me, and I will now be forever suspicious of fruit on cakes.
Is it just me, or does anyone else look at the “skip the cake pan, Stan” pic and see the eye of Horus? I guess in some ways an Eye of Horus cake would be appropriate for Mother’s Day, since the tear actually belongs to Horus’ mother, but I have a hard time believing that most cake decorators know ancient Egyptian mythology well enough to make that leap. I could be wrong.
Oh great! You've ruined a great song. Everytime i hear now i'm not going to be able to get "glaze a poo stack, jack" out of my head. THANKS.
Luckily, my daughter won't be getting me a cake for Mother's Day.
PS. What's with Chicago and Mother's Day? My friend and I (both senior citizens) were there a couple years ago on Mother's Day and with the exception of ONE person, everyone wished us happy Mother's Day. (The exception called us Thelma and Louise--how did he know?)
The tiered cake that looks like someone scribbled on it with a chocolate Sharpie really hurts my eyes, but with that many chocolate-covered strawberries on it, I would gladly accept it!
And can someone please invent a chocolate Sharpie to be used on cakes? It wouldn't make the inscriptions any less wrecky, but they'd be tastier at least.
Awesome post today! Great wrecks and great song! I will have this in my head all day - thanks for helping me make it through the afternoon ("Can't you see it's too muuuuuch????")
So, am I the only one who sees boobs in the second cake? My mind must really be in the gutter today.
Jen, I just love, love, love your mash-up of "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" and horrid mother's day cakes! (I could already hear the opening drumbeat with "HIT IT, PAUL!")
Happy 1st Mother Day should obviously by followed up by Happy Stepmother Day. It would easy to switch out the Care Bears for dragons and witches and poison apples.
Best. Post. Ever.
The chocolate scribbles hurt my eyes but I would totally eat one of those strawberries, or 7 o.O
Great job @Sharyn!
Without doubt the funniest and most clever song parody you've ever done!!!!! (And the only one I've ever seen.)
LOL Ok. This was one of your best posts. Good job. Love it
@normajean Something like this:
http://www.google.com/search?q=cake+chocolate+pen&safe=off&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=LkmJUb6VEcSK4ASdq4CwBg&ved=0CCsQsAQ&biw=1280&bih=705
or this:
http://www.google.com/search?q=cake+chocolate+pen&safe=off&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=LkmJUb6VEcSK4ASdq4CwBg&ved=0CCsQsAQ&biw=1280&bih=705#safe=off&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=body+chocolate+pen&oq=body+chocolate+pen&gs_l=img.12...0.0.3.135992.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0..0.0...0.0...1c..12.img.DttKs-g280U&bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&fp=d7262417b1768025&biw=1280&bih=705
:)
I'd take the chocolate covered strawberries off that "too much" cake too.
@normajean Chocolate Sharpies is officially my band name of the day.
I'm with Drockbox - the similarity of the two seemingly free form CCCs is to much to be coincidence IMHO. Is there a symbol for mother that I'm not aware of?
Sharyn, you're my hero!!!!!!!!!!! That was BRILLIANT! Fortunately my mom doesn't care for sweets, so I've never run the risk of inflicting such horrors on her. As for me, those cakes are a reminder of the importance of birth control. Practice safe sex girls, or you too could get a cake like this one day!
Really nice work on the song parody. :-)
But the joy of cupcake cakes is that you can enjoy them, uncut!
What's with the IV in the Stack of Poo cake? And since when have colons been a symbol of Mother's Day? (Better than uteri, I guess.)
Not much to say about the cakes today. I'm just here for the comments.
@Fearless Colon made me LOL
@Haiku Joy/Nagzilla: I saw the Eye of Ra/Horus, too.
"Intrude" and "Stan" (the two pink snaky items), some notes
1. They are both trying to be a particular kind of cake. Both miss the mark. Stan gets closer than Intrude. It looks like it is a specific design for Mother's Day, or at least for some kind of festive days.
2. The shape of the pink snaky part is not random. It represents something, and again, Stan is closer.
3. Both have a small, square cake inside the pink loop. These cakes have, or in the case of Intrude, try to have, four yellow roses. Note, yellow for both.
- Maybe Intrude is a copy of Stan. But how? Doesn't make logistical sense.
- Could the sinuous pink part be a letter in an obscure alphabet?
- The inscription pretty firmly indicates in wording and style that these cakes are somewhere in the United States.
- But there are plenty of people who use their native alphabet all the time.
- The labels are unreadable even when enlarged.
o Google image search doesn't come up with anything like either of these, except each other.
o You can't realistically expect to use things like "snaky pink cake" in Google. I tried a lot of keyword combinations.
Finally, is it possible to get more information from the submitter? This is very darn interesting.
I find the bleeding strawberries in the second cake quite disturbing. But not as bad as these CCC atrocities. Ugh.
I finally saw "Pollock" this weekend -- the movie about artist Jackson Pollock. The scribble cake looks like Jackson tried cake decorating school.
great writing, as usual, Sharyn!
9 photos/3 are CCCs (patooie)
I think we've reached critical mass
My kids and I like to make a cake together. None of us are professionals but I don't think our decorating is anywhere close to this bad. Especially the poo stack. That one's really off the rails. I nearly peed myself laughing.
@Cam......THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I'm now seeing boobs, too.
The best I can come up with for the CCC is an umbrella.
I hope that's a green purse and not the diseased frog that it resembles all too closely!
Oh this makes me so glad I don't get my mom cakes for Mother's Day lol. Though the tea pot cake was cute in a way if you don't think the spout is something else lol. My mom probably would love it and not notice. As for the rest... I still cannot picture what the CCC ones are supposed to be.
C'mon people - I deliberately left off commenting until today, thinking someone would have worked out what the eye of Horus cupcake abominations are meant to be! Someone must know ... anyone??
I know a few have mentioned it already, but seriously, WHAT ARE THOSE CCC'S ALL ABOUT?
I actually like the chocolate strawberry cake without the sign. Over the top? Yes, but I'm ok with that. The sign kills it and puts it into hurts-my-eyes-land.
The "Happy 1st Mother Day" care bear cake is so cute that I want it for my 29th Birt Day.
Sorry, I meant to say "HaPPy 1sT MOThER day"
Hi there, I'm spending an evening browsing randomly through your hilarious blog. I'm alternating between being utterly horrified and howling with laughter. This post takes the cake for me! GENIUS songwriting I tell you!
Really enjoying your captions and comments, I can only wish I had your humor and imagination. Thanks for a great cake blog!