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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Apr022013

Cindy Has a Ball

Once Upon a Time ...

There was a girl named Cindy:

She was as sweet as 14 pounds of frosting.

 

She lived with her wicked stepmother and stepsisters - who, I have to say, were a couple of dogs:

Cindy spent her days cleaning up after her step family, but she always hoped for a better life.

 

One day, excitement gripped the land: Prince Dream was looking for a wife!

The parties at his pad were always hopping, but he wanted to settle down with someone before he croaked.

So the Prince invited all the girls of the kingdom to play ball:

Although his froggy dyslexia led to a minor scandal in the papers.

 

When Cindy told her step family she planned to go, they sneered,

"What do YOU know about playing ball?"

Disheartened, Cindy was about to give up, when suddenly:

Her Fairly Odd Mother appeared!

The Fairly Odd Mother arranged for Cindy to have a coach:

He had experience with all kinds of balls.

On the day of the game, Cindy snuck out to play. Her coaching paid off, and she dazzled the prince!

Sadly, before she could meet him, Cindy's stepmother dragged her home. All the heartbroken prince could find was one of her hideous flip-flops:

He vowed then and there to find the foot that fit the flip-flop, and then buy it more appropriate footwear for sports.

Fortunately the Prince remembered Cindy's distinctive toenail fungus, and found her that same afternoon in the foot-care aisle at Target!

Their love bloomed in front of the bunion cream, and they were married that very day.

As the prince struggled to carry her off to his castle, everyone agreed that Cindy had never looked happier:

THE END.

 

Enchanted thanks to Olyvia S., Becca M; Sarah C., Shaina H., Iny, Kathleen C., Megan J., Leslie S., and Anony M., who helped make all our wrecks come true.

 

Note from Jen: For instant lolz, repeat after me: "Find the foot that fit the flip-flop. Find the foot that fit the flip-flop. FIND THE FOOT THAT FIT THE FLIP-FLOP." 

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Reader Comments (56)

Looks like Cinderella caught sight of Coach Tom's Big Purple Balls...

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Thanks to Coach Tom's Big Purple Balls, I now know what it's like to inhale a Triscuit.


There is no proper context for what I just typed.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPoppetRock

I know what they say about curiosity but I really am curious about the story behind the big purple balls.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterakathleen

SuBee and PoppetRock, those two comments just made my day.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermeeshybee

Speaking of Coach Tom's cake...I love the bakery sticker: "...Uniquely finished by hand..." No truer words have ever been spoken...

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie Em

Big purple balls: what happens when blue balls are turned to eleven. It's one darker.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCC

"Find the foot that fit the flipflop". Great. Any suggestions as to how to get THAT out of my brain?

At least I didn't inhale a Triscuit. ;-) Too funny!

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdutchgirl

Wow, what a fish face.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Awesome narration, team!!!!

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Wow...just, Wow!

Oh, and BIG PURPLE BALLS!!!! Good Grief, Charlie.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTor2ga

I can imagine the state of mind of the "artist" working on the inscription on the flip-flop cake. For the first couple of sides, hum-ti-tum, everything's going fine. Then the sudden realization, the panic, when s/he has to skip over the part of the third side that's already occupied by the thong, and the rest of the inscription won't fit in the space that's left. Did s/he figure out that "the fun" could be tucked in above "in the sun", or did someone else in the bakery suggest it?

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

Is the pink-eyed cake dog rabid?

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

I hope Coach Tom wasn't shweaty too.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

Before I got to the second cake, I assumed the first one was named Cindy because it looks just like Cindy Brady.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKate

"Incredibly Moist Gold Cake Uniquely Finished By Hand With Buttercream Icing "Great For Any Occasion" "

Well, that surely is unique, and I guess celebrating the coach's big purple balls is an occasion!

It's also hard to believe that there are feet out there bigger than that flip flop, but then the very next photo--well, there it is!

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTwinMom

Seriously - we need an explanation (if there could ever be one!) for Coach Tom's predicament. PLEASE?!?!

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLeslieSGI

Dear Bakers: Stop trying to make round objects (or square, triangular, pretty much any shape that does not require scallopped edges) with CCCs (patooie!)! Just do 12 individual cupcakes that are EACH frosted to look like a baseball. Sheesh. Or. OR! Start making square cupcakes.

Note: Square cupcakes will not help you make round objects. FYI.

That is all.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I'd get those big purple balls checked out by a doctor-that is one of the signs of bubonic plague O_o

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Cinderella wouldn't have been too bad if it were for the psychopath eyes and screaming mouth.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNikachu

Once again, my computer was in peril, as I ALMOST blew iced tea all over it while reading this post. Sigh. When will I learn NOT to eat or drink while I read Cake Wrecks?

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdebra

I had no idea Coach Tom was such a legend.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Doesn't Cindy have an odd placement of her arm / hand.....?? Is that why her eyes are wired open?? Is there an "after" cake?

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisaBN

I've seen some creepy, creepy, creepy cakes on here in the past, but Cinderella...

>Shudder!<

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDPL

Obviously Coach Tom had too much ball play. That can happen.
The last Cindy cake looks like a homage to a blow-up sex Cindy-Princess. You know they have to make them somewhere.
If not, how do I get a patent? What an opportunity...

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStar

Cindy's Fairly Odd Mother looks like Mrs. Puff from Spongbob. Not that that makes it any better O.O
Coach Tom's predicament made me snort water out my nose, which is slightly less painful then inhaling a Triscuit but probably a little more messy.
Poor Cindy needs some mascara on that last cake. I've heard that's a problem for blonds, not that I would know about that because I've never been a blond but... I've heard rumors.

Great job team!

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Am I the only one that thinks her Fairly Odd Mother looks like Mrs. Puff the driving teacher on Spongebob Squarepants? Maybe I just need to stop letting my kids control the remote...

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCassandra

Cinderella looks just like a blow up doll, including the rictus of disgust around the mouth area. Yuck.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercal331

What happened to Cinderella's other arm?

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLara

I tested a baby on Saturday. Still very moist internally with a slightly crisp exterior. The head was the best part. I wonder if I can set them in the food dehydrator to speed up the process.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

The Coach Tom cake made me spit Code Red all over my screen. I have to know what that was actually supposed to be!

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEileen

@Kate - it's Cynthia from the cartoon Rugrats.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

If Coach Tom really DOES have big purple balls, does he really want a cake with PINK icing? I think not.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

It looks like Cinderella is having a happy ending.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Coach Tom's gonna be a popular guy with the kids' moms!

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Hilarious, as usual! Once again Cake Wrecks has been the highlight of my day. I shall now proceed to wander over to Epbot...

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel Penman

I don't know why, but the first cake Cindy makes me think of Popeye...and those dog cakes? so much frosting, yuck!

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKrisfromParis

Totally cracking up here. I spat on my screen laughing :-)

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLiv

Awesome storyline

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEricha

That was the best bedtime story I've heard in ages!

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShereen

Uh, Joy? This still pertains to that silicone mold you obtained, right? Just checking.

#2 Boss: "Smith? We just got a shipment of that new, glow-in-the-dark frosting, in pink and blue. Find a creative use for it, would you?"
Smith: "On it. I know just the thing..."

#3 The Frog Once Again Known as Prince is pleased to announce his new album: 'Dream'.

#4 Why bakeries should not hire former street sign painters.

#6 NOW they spell 'congratulations' correctly.

#9 Cindy has been spending WAY too much time riding the T. Rex.

April 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Well purple balls just can't be a good thing so why congratulate them lol. Wreckerators never look at what they write before they sell their cakes apparently. So I am sure that coach got one heck of a surprise that day.

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Coach Tom, I think they make a medicated powder for that.

My guess is that Coach Tom's team is "Big Purple" and the instructions to the baker wreckerator was to include images of balls on the cake. Depending on the age of the team's players, the result was far better (older players) or far worse (elementary schoolers) than anything that could have been planned.

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJane

I seriously love you Haiku Joy <3 Thanks for the update!

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

How come no one has mentioned the ECU foot picture? What IS that?

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

I worry for you, Jen!

What in the world are YOUR dreams like, when this stuff comes to you in the full light of day?!?

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura R

Does anyone know the origins of the big bare foot? I have a sneaky suspicion I do. Hoping I've gotten it wrong. Thanks!

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSnow

Nevermind. A simple google search confirmed my fear. I'm deeply torn right now. My first connection with a cake on CW (ecstatic) and that cake represents a great annual event at my alma mater (sad, sad, sad).

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSnow

@Morag I can regretfully give some insight into the ECU foot. My alma mater has an annual spring festival that was created in 1979 as a means of relaxation before exams. It is called, wait for it...... "Barefoot on the Mall" . The "mall" being a large area near the middle of campus with dorms lining one side and the library and classroom buildings around the other. They have live music, games (velcro walls, dunk tanks, gigantic twister). My freshman year, John Mayer was the headliner, my junior year, Jason Mraz. Painted foot prints lead the way down the sidewalks to the mall the day of the event. It's a great time and no cost for the students to attend. And the best part, obviously, cake is involved!! Though, it seems I missed this Barefoot (in more than one way).

Go Pirates!

Stacy Wilson
East Carolina University, c/o 2005, 2007

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSnow

Actually, the fairly oddmother cake is Clamantha from Fish Hooks. :)

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNo Capes

@Haiku Joy: heh..hahaha....BWAHAHAHA! I less than 3 you!

April 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

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