A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
November 4, 2013 Today Judy L. shares with us "The Inspiration"...
;)
...
... and "The Devastation":
;)
Or, as I like to call it, "The Reason I Can't Stop Laughing."
(But only because "The Leaning Tower of Pisa Crap" is just a little too mean. :D)
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Reader Comments (133)
Looks like it was inspired by Nightmare Before Christmas...
Ugh. And I don't just mean the "wreck". The original's pretty fugly too.
At a country fair, or a home show, or on board-walk, down by the sea….
Ladies and gentlemen! Step right up. Step right up. Let me take just one minute of your time now so you can save hours and hours later. And, we’ve got a free, yes I said free, paring knife for each adult here today! (Just come on in a little closer ma’am, there’s plenty of room up front.) Now, how many of you like cake? (many hands go up) Yes, we like our cake, don’t we! All that oowey-gooey frosting! Now, how many of you like to make cakes? (many hands go up)
Well, what’s the number one problem with cakes today? It’s the same problem the little lady has with me – size! She says, “If you’d stay away from the griddle, you’d have less of a middle.” Ha, ha, ha. Yes, a scientifically conducted poll of a random group of non-related people from different pages of the phone book who happened to be awake at three a.m. revealed that the number one problem with cakes is their size – too large, too small, none were just right. Oh, I hope Goldilocks didn’t conduct that poll. (silence, but a few smiles)
Well, let me show you right now how that will never be your problem again! (holds up what looks like a set of various length nylon strings) Ladies and gentlemen, the Collapsa-Cake™. Now, I know what you’re thinking – it looks like fishing line. Well, let me tell you, once you use the Collapsa-Cake™ you’ll never be fishin’ for cake compliments again – they’ll be jumpin’ right into your boat!
This high tech ultra-thin siliconized monofilament, was developed by NASA for the astronauts, and it can withstand heat up to 10,000 degrees Celsius…and if your stove can reach that temperature, you probably live at IHOP because you make a lot of hot cakes! (silence, followed by polite chuckles)
Here’s how it works. Insert the Collapsa-Cake™ into the cake’s first layer and bake as usual. Here’s a layer with it baked it. (hold up cake layer; crowd nods) Then, when the other layers are done, thread the Collapsa-Cake™ through each of the rest of the layers, leaving this little ring thing here on top of the last layer. It’ll look like this. (holds up four layers and points out little ring thing on top of fourth layer; more nods) Now, frost the cake anyway you like, except for the very top. Then take the Collapsa-Cake-Compressor™, which is included at no extra charge (holds up a square of flat metal) and gently press down on the whole cake until it’s about this tall (holds up a compressed, frosted cake). Then, frost the top of the cake, leaving the Collapsa-Cake™ ring thing visible.
Put your cake in this durable, high-resolution food-grade polymer Collapsa-Cake-Container ™, which is also included, and away you go. When you are ready to display your cake, simply place it on the Collapsa-Cake-Carousel™ – included – and gently pull the ring thing until the cake is the desired height! (does not demonstrate this, but reaches under the counter and takes out a finished, extended cake) (crowd oohs and awes) The Collapsa-Cake™ remains in the cake to provide what we call Structural Support©.
As the cake is sliced, carefully remove the strands of the Collapsa-Cake™, don’t cut ‘em, then wash them – hand wash only, folks – and it’s ready for use again!
Now, that took a tad longer than a minute, but folks, you’re going to thank me forever once you try the new Collapsa-Cake- Collection ™! You get the Collapsa-Cake™, the amazing, yet easy to use Collapsa-Cake-Compressor™, the durable, stylish and oh-so practical Collapsa-Cake-Container™ AND the vibrant, versatile display dish, the Collapsa-Cake-Carousel™-- all four items together for one low, low price of $19.99! But, because you are here today and you were kind enough to let me demonstrate this amazing new revolutionary product, and because you know a good thing when you see it, for the next fifteen minutes only, if you purchase the Collapsa-Cake- Collection ™ right now, I’m going to give you, yes, give you, absolutely free of charge, a second Collapsa-Cake- Collection ™. That’s right TWO Collapsa-Cakes™, TWO Collapsa-Cake Compressors™, TWO Collapsa-Cake-Containers™, and TWO Collapsa-Cake-Carousels™. And, if you act now, once you’ve purchased this amazing product, I’ll up-grade you to free delivery! Yes, once you buy ‘em, I’ll hand ‘em to you for free….ha, ha, ha….
OK, folks, who’s first……?
Note: The Collapsa-Cake-Collection™ is neither made by nor endorsed by the makers of the Pan-Wow. Yes, it’s a monofilament, but it’s real monofilament – we’re not stringing you along. And, on that note, while this is a scientifically designed product, string theory was not involved. Legal representative: Mr. Potato, Head Counsel, TT&T.
I'm not real thrilled with the inspiration cake, personally. It's technically sound, but looks like a well-done wreck, quite frankly. As a professional decorator myself, my first question is, how do you cut the dang thing? My second is, why??? Why do you want a cake that looks like you couldn't control your piping bag and tip? Why do you want a cake that has that little imagination? Why do you want a cake that looks like a Cristo performance art piece on crack? The wreck - well, the less said the better.
I kind of like it, it has a Tim Burton-esque aesthetic.
"Ah, right, then. Hmm, right. Okay. GRYFFINDOR!"
I'm MELTING! What a world, what a world....
I'm just wondering...did the person who did the wreck actually think that was what the person who ordered it wanted? Did they really think it was beautiful? Shaking my head.
A day at the cake spa:
A mud bath, chemical peel - -
and ear candling.
I wonder if that cake came from Unseen University--it certainly looks unsuited to where it is. Maybe it belongs to Rincewind.
Not a big fan of the inspiration cake either. A little too weird for my taste. I think the messy slanted draping makes it look like it's leaning. But in comparison with the result, it's the greatest masterpiece I've ever seen.
Why is it so tall?
Glad I am not the only one who thought the Wreck looke loke the Sorting hat.
I saw the photo of the inspiration on facebook and thought it was the wreck. I don't care for it at all.
exact reaction, and I quoth: "Oh, JESUS!"
That is a LOT of work for something to end up turning out that way. I have to wonder what the "artist" was thinking when they/he/she tried to pass this off and take a professional photo of it. WTH?
This is the perfect cake to celebrate the "melting" of the wicked witch in Wizard of Oz....
I'm going to give the wreckerator the benefit of the doubt and assume thes colors in the wreck were, at the very least, close to what the customer requested. Physical execution definitely leaves me wanting.
I like it.
Personally I think they're both horrid, the second one being MORE horrid. I thought the "idea" cake was a pile of ombre icing. Ombre stuff is so overdone now, as well. So, a no-win.
Interesting choice of color for a STREET CONE.
*stares*
Does the Sorting Hat have a really severe case of the winter blues? It's not even December yet!
It wouldn't be totaly crap minus the top two colors. The middle layer ruffles aren't even 'terrible' but from there up, WOW!!! They missed the point of ombre color effect!
the sad thing is, that considering transportation, assembly, etc, the wreck was probably A LOT of work.
I can understand the colors; I can picture the conversation being something like "I like the color changes, but let's add purple and teal as well."
I actually am in awe that the cake is so tall. That seems like some skill right there!
But, that's about it.
I actually don't think the wreck is that horrible. The inspiration cake is a tricky one to duplicate. I've seen much worse wrecks than that.
Let's be fair! I've been shown "inspiration" photos, only to have the bride make so many changes, it's not even the same cake anymore! the number of servings, the colors, the design, then want to be mad and call it a wreck because it doesn't look like the picture. that's just not fair to the baker!
A real stretch . . . Ha!
@mel: Outstanding!! By the way, is the Collapse-a-Cake system manufactured by the Do-tel company (the half -a$$ed brother company of K-tel)? If so, I want IN! Stocks, shares, slices...whatever! I know a good thing when you see it! Oh, THAT was an absolute scream, and it feels SO good to laugh. Thanks! =^~.~^=
I was thinking "a hat for a very tall wizard".
Ugly ugly...just butt-ugly(both of them)
The inspiration cake is clearly based on the very very widely done Maggie Austin Design. The really sad thing is that Maggie Austin did a online class on craftsy where she showed step by step exactly how the cake is made. All the wreckerator had to do was go look at the class and there would have been no issues. Wondering where that color palate and the witches hat came from. Perfect for halloween.
It's The Sorting Hat's "festive" brother, Maurice. He's the "FABULOSITY" hat.
Ah Haiku Joy, your Haiku made me fall off my chair with laughter. A much better comparison than a witch's hat, I must say.
I started laughing when I saw the inspiration cake, then I realized I was wrong or also right!
Sometimes this inspiration vs. result cakes leave me wanting a bit more information. I'd at least like to know whether or not the couple requested EXACTLY the same cake or a variation on the theme. Like, did they WANT the cake to be bigger/have more layers, or was that the baker's decision. I wonder if they requested a different color combination, too....
I really don't think it's that bad. Looks like a lot of hard work to me. And it's an inspiration, not a copy
Both ugly. No idea why anyone would copy the inspiration cake in the first place.
@mel: Sometimes I wonder what goes on inside your brain. I don't want to know. Whatever it is, it's genius!
I had to come and work at Panera this afternoon -- my cable and Internet went out in a wind storm last night, and they can't fix it til tomorrow. So I'm reading this before I head home, and giggling, and laughing out loud. And everyone in Panera is wondering why. ;-)
Really everyone, it's clearly a cake for Ravenclaw. Just look at those colors!
I agree with @TAL about wanting more information. But since that is not given, I'll just make it up. I imagine the conversation to have played out like this:
Customer (C): Well, our wedding is themed around different hues of the color purple, so I'd basically like this ombre ruffle cake. *hands over inspiration picture.
Wreckerator (W): Ah, yes, exquisitly beautiful! I've done similar cakes a hundred times, this will be a walk in the park, it's going to be at least as pretty! *pretends to have a caugh to distract from him wiping sweat of fear off his brow* Well, how many portions will we need?
C: Yeah, that's the thing, we are going to be around 300 people, so this needs to be a really big cake. Will you be able to pull this design off in a larger scale?
W: NO PROBLEMO, I'll just make it a tiny bit taller, you know, just make it one more layer. It'll be perfect!
C: There is one more little thing, though. We are contrasting the purple shading with a few teal accents. Would it at all be possible to incorporate some small teal details too?
W: *looking up at the ceiling with a dreamy expression* You know, inspiration just hit me. I have just the PERFECT design in mind, you'll absolutely love it!
C: Great, thank you so much, so delivery will be on [date] at [reception place], right?
W: Of course! Thank you very much for ordering at [Wreckery]! You won't regret it! *goes off to sketch out design of a worn out traffic cone with a teal tip, muttering to self* That's going to be even better than the original. This cake is going to make me freaking famous!
mel, I don't know how to ask this . . . I should probably just blurt it out . . . well, you're so punderful and so witty, I just can't take it anymore . . . will you be my legal counsel?
OOPSIE!! It's supposed to be "Collapsa-Cake", not "Collapse-a-Cake"! Oh, HOW embarrassing~ that's like calling a "Lhasa Apso" a "Lassoed Azzhole"...or something. I almost had a conniption phfft! *blush* =^0.0^=
I think I would've had to put a little Eye of Sauron atop that....
Hey mel, I'll take two!
Is there not a point when you are decorating that you step back and say "yeah, this isn't right"?
The Sorting Hat, from Harry Potter!
Hey @mel ~ How are my wedding vows coming? ;-)
I'm pretty sure I hurt myself trying to stifle the laughter on that one. And oddly enough, I heard it all in that one really loud guys voice. The one that died? Yeah, that guy. Can't remember his name!
I thought the inspiration cake was the wreck too... I thought this http://s243.photobucket.com/user/BecBennett/media/Wedding%20Planning/5342de11efcfeb3f713ab79014f313a4_m.jpg.html is what it should have looked like...
@mel - AWESOME! I swear, I think I attended a Collapse-A-Cake demo just the other day! Except, I didn't get two pairing knives. Instead, I received a little cylinder gizmo to cram into the center of a citrus fruit to extract the juice. I got an extra one for paying attention & answering a question on the demo correctly. (But I *did* not purchase the product, sorry; I"m into pan cookies now! :-)
@LcP - GOOD ONE! :-)
@BADKarma - Hey, bub, Maurice ain't no FABULOSITY hat, K? He's Belle's dad! ;-) (Actually, he's *my* dad & he has also invented/crafted a few 'inventions' at home, just like Belle's dad in the movie, which just made it that much harder to live it down... ;-)