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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov052013

Like A Bridge Over Troubled Icing

[A group of Wreckerators, some in frosting-smeared aprons, walk on stage and begin to sing...]

 

When they're leery

Feeling small...

When tears are in...

... their eyes,


Why not buy them all?

All on one side...

Ohhhhh
'cause spa- cing's tou- ou- ough...

[joining hands]

When friends just caaan't beee found!

[soprano solo]

I assure you, that's "Harry Potter!"

[chorus]

Why not pay me now?

I've a fridge full of stubbled otter:

[3-part harmony]

Why not pay me now?

 

A very happy birthday to Art Garfunkle - who we hope will forgive us - and many thanks to Liz K., Lynnette W., Paul A., Michelle S., Rachel H., Lexi, C.H., & Katie S. for helping us appreciate the sound of silence.

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Reader Comments (57)

That song normally makes me cry. Now, for different reasons. So funny!

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Road-kill wrecks....I can see a future post now....

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

I was JUST thinking about my fridge which is full of stubbled otter and wondering how to put that phrase into a song. Thanks for helping me out.

p.s. I had to look at that photo for a long, long time before I could figure out why a dirty shag carpet was included in today's CW.

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

WHAT in the name of all that's gooey is that last thing?

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

And here's to you lovely Cake Wrecks team,
We are laughing more that you will know- wo wo wo.
Coo coo ka choo lovely Cake Wrecks team,
Look forward to these messes every day.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Am I the only one who liked the last cake? If you're into roadkill, that was clever and quite well-done :) Love that song, and the parody was awesome!

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKrysmon

Now that's some road kill!

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEla

The road kill one looks like it would make an awesome front porch door mat. It would probably scare the neighbors - which would be a good thing here....

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

You had me at "stubbled otter"!
That doesn't even LOOK like a cake! It looks like a rug! A DEAD rug!!!
=^>.<^=

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

How do people get paid for this????

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

That dead thing is actually pretty good lol

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJ

Assuming that the customer actually ordered a road-kill small mammal cake (and that's another story for another day), that last cake is actually very well done, right down to the tread marks and pebbles. PLUS a refreshing show of restraint in not using any red gel icing.

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

OMG, LOVE LOVE LOVE the roadkill cake!!

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Little known fact: Art Garfunkle was a founding member of the soft-rock acoustic band "Stubbled Otter," and tried to get a world tour sponsored by Gillette. The negotiations were quite hairy for a while, and some folks got worked up in a lather over the details as the negotiation time was running out, but, Art finally got a deal (by a close shave) in the nick of time. Unfortunately, acoustic music was being replaced by enhanced electronic sounds, and Gillette cancelled the contract and backed the all-electronic band, The Norelco's. That, sadly, was the end of Garfunkle's musical perfession. Across town, however, was a young lad named, ironically enough, Art Garfunkel, who just kept on singing, hoping to find a partner someday to record with.

(Dear CW Team -- if you can't kid the people you love -- and you know I love you all dearly -- who can you? Thanks for remembering one of the greats.....)

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

"Fridge full of stubbled otter"

Thank you. Just… thank you.

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I don't understand cakes like # 6. At what occasion would this appear and why would a cake be included?

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStef

Poor Rowlf.

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Garfunkel. :-)

I don't understand cakes like # 6. At what occasion would this appear and why would a cake be included?

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStef

Trying to find out where you are located. Would love a cake, can you mail them if your nor close?

Thank you,

Leslie

LOVE your cakes

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

"One of the greats" is right! I grew up listening to (and loving) Simon & Garfunkel. One of the prettiest songs I've ever heard is "For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her". What a sweet voice. Nice contrast to these "Bridge Over" wrecks, which should actually be dumped INTO the water (troubled or otherwise)!
=^~.-^=

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Is it bad that I almost want that last cake? Maybe in a skunk iteration?

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

@SuBee: well done! (Though I must confess, in reading your parody I had a flashback of "I Am the Walrus" (coo coo ka choo) and "Blurred Lines" (hey, hey, hey/hey, hey, hey) -- now I've got three songs running through my head...and it ain't pretty...and it's going to be a long day....)

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Though his brothers looked to the stars, Elmo realized he needed a much smaller, safer World.

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

mel = brilliant

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

At least the, er, "decorator" of Cake #6 got "you're" right. I was expecting "your" or even "your'".

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJules

For what possible reason would anyone want to "celebrate" a "you're dead to us" moment with cake?

And those sad little monsters? I totally buy one. :-)

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

This has officially joined the ranks of my favorite cake wrecks posts. I don't think I'll ever sing "Bridge Over Troubled Water" the same again...

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrita

Is it bad that I want to give the maker of cake #6 a gold star for using the correct spelling of you're?

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMadTigerKitty

Cake #6 is particularly vicious, but kudos for correctly using "you're"!

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Interestingly enough, the otter's last thought as the tire passed over him was "Not again." If we understood why he thought that, we would understand the Universe much better than we do now.

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Somewhere in my house I have a book entitled Flattened Fauna, about identifying road kill.

But I digress. Someone otter do something about that last cake.

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I've a fridge full of stubbled otter

This will go down in history as one of the greatest lines in all of blogdom. Awesome!

And I want to bring that snowman home with me. It's raining now, but it's supposed to snow later. He will be right at home.

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

RAWLF?! Nooooooooooooooo!

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonnaB

Not to quibble, but I live in whistle-pig* country, and I wonder if that last isn't more likely to be a stubbled whistle-pig (very sad face) than otter?

* also known as groundhog and woodchuck, and famous for browsing right next to the pavement, and crossing the pavement unexpectedly for a juicy bit espied on the other verge, and never learning that that big noisy thing coming down the pavement is the one-way ticket to stubblehood ...

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrolypolyducky

Well, at least the road kill cake was ... well executed!

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkaat

Is "stubbling" over something the same as "stumbling" over it? And is it worse to stubble/stumble over a rug, or a wreck?
Hey, mel~~where's the eggman, running after the walrus in your head? (Hey, I know the feeling! It can be pretty cool, if you let it be.) =^~.~^=

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

One crying cake, please.
I need it by 3 pm.
You take PayPal, right?

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Karate Lady, I'd like to think I caused a surge in searches for "ear candles" in the last day or so. It will be my legacy.

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Are the cupcakes in #2 made with rhubarb? That's the only thing I know of with that color combination.

@mel - LOL!!

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

I saw my picture and thought, " I've seen those cupcakes before..." I can't believe that my picture is on CakeWrecks! I've officially made it :)

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S

Oh my gosh, that last one is... wow. This might sound weird, but it's actually really well done. I genuinely thought it was a stuffed animal at first, something that's actually furry and not... frosting-y. I won't lie, I'm impressed by it. It's an odd thing, yes, and not exactly the most appetizing image for a cake to be made in, but... whatever, I love it. I am not ashamed.

Michelle, now you have to tell us! Which disaster is yours? I kinda hope it's the third one, because those faces are sort of terrifying and it's funny how it looks like it was intended to be a tray with cupcakes that are all the same, but it wound up being three columns each with one very distinctive horrible face type. :P I mean that in the most loving way possible.

And now I'm wondering... how many people read Cake Wrecks on a regular basis, work in a grocery store bakery, and have started doing a lousy job on PURPOSE in the hopes of making it on the site? :O

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShivers

The fur on the bloody dead thing is... Epic... O_o

Not in a GOOD way, mind you... Just... Epic...

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

LOVE LOVE LOVE the roadkill cake!!! Had to tilt my head back and forth like a dog trying to figure out who would want one, but gave up and decided to love it instead!!

.....course, my bro-in-law might like it-he's a taxidermist.........

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWildDuck

Since Tim had lost his right eye in that horrific BB gun accident (who knew his mother's familiar warning would turn out to be TRUE this time?), he did indeed have a Happy Birthday.

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Lol, I completely love the roadkill cake

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermelody

Oh, Cake Wreckies, if I may call you that, what a great post!!

I laughed so hard my son came in to make sure I wasn't choking. Sadly, he did not understand the S&G song reference.

@FM: Thanks!
@drgns4vr: somewhere in my house, I also have that same book!
@rolypolyducky: a whistle-pig? Well, it's either one...or the otter. And thank you for answering that age-old question: why did the whistle-pig cross the road?
@sendingtheclowns: let it be, indeed, for I heard the news today, and this is the end....
@lisadh: :-)

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

AAUURRGGHH!! I KNEW that cake reminded me of something! I just remembered what! The movie "Steel Magnolias"! They had a cake in that movie that was in the shape of an ARMADILLO!! The cake was red velvet inside. (I have no recollection of what it was supposed to represent.)

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Smug as they had been before in their luxuriant fur and superior numbers, what their balder, wiser brothers chortled out (and then would go no farther, simply saying "YOU'LL find out what the poinsettias do...mmf--hee!") made the Red Furries suddenly quite worried indeed.

November 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

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