Monday
Jul022012
Meanwhile, at the Unintentionally Erotic Bakery...
July 2, 2012 "Deb, everyone keeps laughing at our new spiral donuts. Any idea why?"
"Really? Still? Drat. I even added a sign - I thought that would help."
"Yeah, about that....I'm not sure we should be telling customers to not get their "panties" in a twist. Could you change that?"
"Oh, sure."
"And make sure the new sign mentions we can heat the donuts up, too."
"You got it!"
_____________________________________________________
Attention, customers: THEY'RE JUST DONUTS.
Don't get your p***s in a twist.
P.S. Available Hot...
;)
or Cold!
Thanks for the dough nuts, Sophie F.!
;){kind=link}
Reader Comments (47)
"Don't glaze me, bro!"
Sung to the Beatle's "Long and Winding Road"
The long and winding dough
That ladies adore
Makes me grin ear-to-ear
I've seen that dough before
It always brings me near
Think I'll buy some more
My hubby didn't think I'd be able to come up with another male body-part song so soon after Thursday's "Pina Colada" parody. He thought it was a seminal accomplishment, that I'd shot my wad and I just didn't have it in me... (I just made myself blush.)
I have to remember not to read your blog when I'm hungry. Now, I have a completely inappropriate craving for doughnuts. lol
What a dilemma. Hot or Cold?
Ooft. Ow. Eeeeeeesh. Aaargh.
And so on.
Thaose have always been my favorites! Now I know why!
Sharyn bwahahaha. They are nuts made of dough, so it fits :P
Gives new meaning to the phrase, "that guy's twisted, man...."
(And, fittingly enough, I found a bit of unintentional erotica in the breadbox this morning -- a few old slices of bread had turned 50 shades of gray....)
Creme filled? That squirts out when you bite into it? Mmmmmmmmmm.....
Don't care what it looks like, I could still sink my teeth into one....
Never would have thought anything of these, and probably won't even notice the shape of mine in the future. Keep to the "cake wrecks" next time please. These aren't even close.
Sung to Buster Pointdexter's "Hot, Hot, Hot":
Phal-lic Phal-lic
Phal-lic Phal-lic
Phal-lic Phal-lic
Phal-lic Phal-lic
DONUT!
Me face on fire, filled with desire
Feelin' hot hot hot
Phallic bakin', shakin', sweatin'
Makin' me hot hot hot
Oh what to do, p***s in a twist
Donut's sweet, I can't resist
We need, a foot long
Not creme filled, but with jam
Heart goes boom boom boom boom
Yeah arroom boom boom boom
Phal-lic Phal-lic
Phal-lic Phal-lic
Phal-lic Phal-lic
Phal-lic Phal-lic
DONUT!
Reminds me of a shop near where I used to live that sold hot & fresh "Doug nuts"
I desperately want to lick the sugar off those starting at the bottom and working my way slowly...mmmmmm...sooo slowly and thoroughly toward the tip...uh, I mean top.
Love me a good ol' sugar twist.... Nothing offensive about these "wrecks"!!
Shrinkage!! (Having a Seinfeld flashback!)
Lisa, it's funny! Geez...
Nah, these aren't [i]that[/i] phallic.
John, you've got your work cut out for you today, moderating all these comments. Must be hard.
I never wanted a sugar twist more in my entire life. And then ... a cigarette.
These are, without a doubt, my favoritest doughnuts ever - despite being oddly phallic.
It makes me very, very sad that I cannot find a store here in OK that sells them.
"I was in the pool! I WAS IN THE POOL!"
You can't sell these with a straight face. Well, I wouldn't be able to.
Amy, I about wet myself laughing at your comment.
these are my favourites. with cinnamon sugar on the top.
Ummm, our wonderful bakery makes/sells these, and they're called "Donut Twists". I never, ever looked at them "this" way before....now.
Jamie - do you have a Safeway, Albertson's, any of the big grocery chains? They all have them in the bakery. All my neighborhood bakeries carry them too. They are only a version of a cinnamon roll. That is why I don't see the humor in them, they always look like that! They are long pieces folded over, and twisted, resulting in the shape you see here. They can't end up looking any other way! I think Safeway calls them cinnamon twists.
They are nothing new. Where do you people live that you haven't seen them before?
this makes my find of "Yeast Rings" in the grocery store today that much funnier... or sadder either one
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and sometimes a doughnut is just a doughnut.
@Sharyn oh, great! now, I think your husband's great, too! how much cool is one family going to hog anyway?? :D
yay, zoomom & mel are here!
part of why I love this site? even I never saw anything inappropriate in donut twists. (yells down the hall, "see? it's not just me, Mom!")
@SuzieQ oh, my!!
Now I want some donuts drats lol. Those look..delicious hehe. Even if they look like twisted erm pretzels I want some right now :D
Rather have 'em hot. They shrink when they're cold...
hubby just said "well that's a knotty predi**ament"
too funny!
Here in the UK we get around this problem by making our dough and pastry snacks in much looser twists with square ends. It works; they don't look nearly so much like body parts. On the other hand, these are much funnier. I would happily eat one, though I'm not sure my Dad would...
@ Lisa
Nope. The biggest chain grocery store we have is Wal-Mart, and they don't sell 'em. I have hit up numerous doughnut shops (I used to go in to work at 5 AM) and the only one that sold "Cinnamon Twists"...well, they were shaped like that, but they had cinnamon in the dough, and were glazed. Not the same at all!
It's -very- disappointing. I mean, I used to be able to get these at a grocery store in Alaska! Why won't the doughnut stores in the mainland make them?
How I wish you could subscribe to the site and get updates...
Would be great for the non verbal break up. Look mate, it's not you, it's me (grab one from a bag, viciously bite down on 'head', ripping off with a wrench of the neck and a slight, chocked off snarl. hum tunelessly while chewing) I believe I have unrealistic expectations of this relationship. Girls, If the man looks more turned on....RUN!!!!!
Do they sell these donuts here?
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6171/1350/1600/kinkydonuts.jpg
this kind of doughnut is common in the Philippines...Pilipit-that's the local or Filipino term for that snack food..delish!
This looks like a Dutch treat. We eat them after the carnaval in spring. They're named Nonnevodden. It means Nuns rags......
Although these don't look like rags...:D
These are a traditional cape malay sweet called a 'koeksuster', i will never look at them the same. i may never eat them again either.
Well here in the UK we have something very similar called a Yum Yum. I remember having the aforementioned Koeksisters in Zambia. It was the Dutch/Boer influence. Yum yum indeed.
This reminded me of a show I saw on the food network, It featured Voodoo donuts Cock-N-Balls shaped raised yeast doughnut triple filled with Bavarian cream and topped with chocolate frosting! http://voodoodoughnut.com/doughnuts.html - oo er missus! lol
Sugar and spice, but
what are little twists made of?
*Everything* nice.
@ Voodoo Doughnuts in Portland, OR they have noted this shape and made it into their intentionally erotic C**k N Ba**s, which come in plain glaze or chocolate, are around 10-12 inches long, have oversized cojones, and are triple filled with cream. My sister and her friends have made these a right of passage treat for 18th birthdays.You can even have them pipe messages on them.
Now I know WHY I shouldn't get my panties in a twist.
I am never going to be able to make fresh soft pretzel twists again 0-o
Sung to "Hot and Cold" I think it was by Katie Perry all I can really remember is the chorus BUT
"It's hot or it's cold
it's yes or it's no
it look like a c**k
but we know that it's not
it twisted in sight
so wrong but so right
this site we look up
the wrecks they keep up!
You don't want to look no
but you don't have a choice so."