Please, Call Me Mom
May 9, 2012 Bakers, with Mothers' Day coming up this weekend I thought it'd be a good idea to start practicing her name now - you know, just to avoid any repeats of last year's debacles.
Now remember, the traditional favorites are "mom," "mommy," and the more formal but still perfectly acceptable "mother." Of these, I realize that "mommy" is by far the most difficult for you to spell - but don't worry. I have a fool-proof system guaranteed to help:
Step 1: Don't spell it like this:
;)
See, you need two "m"s in the middle there.
;)
Besides, the last thing you want to do when complimenting Mom is evoke bovine imagery. Trust me.
Step 3: And don't spell it like this, either:
;)
I know you were thinking about it. Stop that.
Step 4: This is RIGHT OUT:
;)
Ladies and gentleman, Phonics has left the building.
(Update: No, it's not the person's name - they really asked for "mommy." Really. Yes, really really.)
Step 5: On second thought, maybe just avoid "mommy" all together. Stick with "mom" or "mother" instead.
;)
I like it.
Thanks to Amanda C., Tricia O., Boss B., Angel G., & Matthew M. for the mommy issues.
Reader Comments (63)
RAWRRRR! I'm the MOMTHER!!!!!
Bwahahahahaha "Momther" I love it!! sounds very much like someone with a lisp trying to say Monster.
Ha! It's my first Mother's Day and love these cakes.
Didn't Godzilla fight Momther at one time?
#4 is perhaps better suited for Auntie's Day.
Better get Momther and Falker Sather some nice cookies instead.
What is wrong with people?!! My dogs spell better than that!
What AM I thinking about that third cake? Push Mother off the roof? What?
I like that last one....a quaint combination of the casual and formal.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go cry over my elementary school spelling tests.
1. MOMY -- the Museum of Modern Yaks -- is the sister museum of MOMA. You see a lot of Alots there.
2. I may start using this. I got my Dad's nose and hair, and my Mom's calves, after all.
3. What? It's French. French Mommes deserve cake, too, n'est pas?
4. This is a cake for a serious gamer. They're celebrating the day they got their MAME -- Multiple Arcade Machine Emulator -- so they could still play Pac-Man.
5. For Coraline's Other Mother -- her Momther. The Birlhday is the day you let the Other Mother sew on your button eyes.
Momther! Ack, I am now regressing back to my lisping days! All that therapy gone to waste!
I supposed that last cookie cake COULD be for someone named Mame (like Auntie Mame). But's that's probably being overly optimistic.
For moms all over, we love you too much to give you any of these cakes! How about some ice cream instead? :)
I suppose I'm just being optimistic that the "mame" cake was someone's name? You know, like http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071803/ Maybe it was for Carrol Channing?
Spelling, piping, and spatial relationship issues aside, how chintzy that third cake is! Did they really cut a square cake in two? Or does Pan-Wow now make a triangle cake pan?
Triangle Pan
Triangle Pan
Bakin' the cakes a triangle can
What's taste like? Nobody dares.
Triangle Pan
(with apologies to They Might Be Giants)
P.S. @Sharyn I want to go to MOMY! Can we get a group tour rate?
wow, spelling is terrible, but I will throw this out there, I know a girl named Mame (pronounced mommy), so that might explain one of the errors, but the rest? No Excuse...
I'm making an executive decision, from now on I want to be referred to by my children as 'Momther'...other people's kids can call me it too - so can you. In fact, I'm going to change it by deed poll right now....
#5--they also forgot to dot their i's and cross their t's. Very basic rule for finishing anything...
At least all the roses on these cakes are beautifully done. I'd guess either it's a different skill set, or they put someone else on writing detail. The two flowerless ones in the middle--no excuses for those messes of border piping and strange design.
Happy momther's day :D
With apologies to The Hollies, my wreck version of "He Ain't Heavy, He's my Brother":
The cake’s all wrong,
with many a blinding hue
and says to you, who knows what,
and who cares?
But my Mom
knows that I’m not very bright.
She ain’t picky, she’s my Momther.
Okay, Lady! I love you! buh-bye!
I know where you were going with the Mame cake, but I actually do know someone called Mame (just a nickname, of course)...and it is also a name I hear some people call their grandmother! The others....all just SAD.....
"Momther" is my new choice for a grandmother name. LOL. :D
When Moomy comes back,
we'll celebrate with dairy.
Happy Bullday, Mahm!
*singing* Momther knows best, listen to your momther, it's a scary world out there! :D hahaha
@ DB - love your ditty. Although as I was reading it I was humming the tune from the old Spider Man animated show (although it needs a few more syllables in the last line to get the cadence right)
Momther: Falker Satherhood's wife
@zoomom ~waving lighter back and forth in the air to the melody~
@Donna - Thanks! I'm sure the Wreckerator would be glad to pipe some more letters/numbers/symbols on that last line. Or maybe I could just change it to… Happy Rehkemelh Triangle Pan!
@DB-thank you for the TMBG tune. It brightened my day!
But...these are all birthday cakes, not Mother's Day cakes. Unless you're a very exceptional Momther indeed, you don't get a birthday cake.
@DB -- I'm sure we can talk them into a discount.
Ah, Momther and Falker Satherhood. Will Sunther and Daughlker be far behind?
what? No Momthra? I demand a moth-shaped cake with a human female head.
That first one is actually celebrating the anniversary of the Museum of Mashed Yams. No, really. Seriously. Would I lie to you? (blinkblink)
'Moomy' directed my thought process phonetically to Bill Mumy, who played Anthony in "It's a Good Life" and is / was half of Barnes & Barnes.
The 'Mame' cake gave me a show tune as the morning mental soundtrack. Thank you very little. Cue Sharyn...
Maybe the "mame" one is in Yiddish, pronounced "Muh-meh". But it would be more impressive if they did that in Hebrew letters as Yiddish used to be written - מאמע.
Oh my heart. Now that I tutor dyslexic children ... I fully understand where a lot of these mistakes come from. I was a spelling bee champion and had no clue how things like this could happen. Now I know.
Maybe, just maybe, "Tricia Moomy" is her real name? Hey, it could happen ... maybe she's the long-lost, they-changed-the-spelling-when-they-immigrated cousin of Billy Mumy, the kid from "Lost in Space." (OK, now I'm dating myself.)
Oh Sharyn, will you be the momther to my children? I love your posts!!
And now I will have TMBG in my head for the rest of the day.
:)
There are worse things I suppose.
I just realized that "Momther" could also be someone with a lisp trying to use a Yiddish word that ... well ... you don't want be on either end of.
Now I shall have "4 is RIGHT OUT!" screeching in my head all day. Monty Python references are always a wonderful Momther's day treat.
What's a Burlhday?
Really? You think Momther would be proud of the gooey mess surrounding her cake? Trying to remind her of those diaper blowout days? Or would she be proud of the fact that they missed dotting the "i" by two whole letter spaces? Yeah, go check... I'll wait.
@DB Bravo! Now I'll have that in my head the rest of the day. I love TMBG! And also the grocery store nearest to me has those cut-in-half-to-sell-one-for-the-price-of-two cakes. Crazy.
@lisadh - LOL! That would be awesome... -ly horrible.
Happy Mothra's Day!
Mame is one of my favorite musicals. I think it deserves a cake!
How do we know her name isn't Tricia Moomg? I have done a lot of data entry and I have seen some strange names (in fact, mine is pretty weird).
Bwa ha ha ha haaaaaaa!!!
We call my mom "Mommit" (and yes, we have to write it out for the decorators of her birthday cakes) or "Muzzer" a la Gerald Durrell's 'Birds, Beasts and Relatives': "You are ze Muzzer?" but I reckon she'd get a real kick out of MOMTHER. I must call my local bakery before Sunday....
Who coaxes the blues right out of the hooooooooooooooooorn ......
Moooooooooooooooooooome ........
Now THAT is RIGHT OUT.
"Phonics has left the building".......brilliant!
Crimes against spelling aside, is that curling ribbon on that chocolate chip cookie? Inedible flotsam (and possible choking hazards) do not belong on top of food.
Totally off topic, I just read this headline on a local news site:
"FIRESIDE CHAT: An introduction to the CCC’s and their work in the FDR State Park."
Of course the first thing that entered my mind was, "What the heck are cupcake cakes doing in FDR park?" I officially have CWB (Cake Wrecks Brain.) Good night, all.
When my son was very little, he could not for the life of him say Grandma. Instead, it came out as Beba. My son is 12 now, but my mother is still Beba... it's so firmly stuck that everyone calls her that (even my dad). I was thinking of getting her a cake this year, but I really shudder to think of what a wreckerator would do. I'm picturing something like "Happy Beba's Day, Momther!"
“Happy Birlhday Momther” and you all pick on Momther? At least that’s cute. Birlhday sounds like “to burl” which, has we all know, is to bluff when playing cards and cheating so you end up spending the day mostly dead. What a rotten thing to say to your momther!
zoomom for the win!
Momther-sounds like something my son made up. Helecopters were pellepockers. Poptarts were Hot Hearts and his all time favorate food was Brackanoni. Macaroni and Cheese. I could see him calling me Momther. lol I love it. :o)