Just In Time For Mother's Day: 10 Uterus Cakes
May 10, 2012 This Mother's Day, why not surprise mom with something REALLY surprising?
;)
"It's supposed to be a uterus.
"SURPRISE!!"
Yep, what could thrill Momther more than an edible version of the thing you broke on your way out? (Er...sorry again about that, Mom.) And since uteri come in so many flavors (ew), here are nine more "inspirational" uterus cakes to really get those creative juices flowing. (Ewwwwsorry.)
Evil jester laughs at your feeble attempts to serve ice cream:
;)
See it? SEE IT??
Hunchbacked Basketball Player Can Dribble No Longer:
;)
Aw. Playa' got served.
Bullwinkle? Is that you?
;)
Ok, while I agree with Bonnie Burton that everything really is better with googly eyes, I still have to draw the line at making letters out of staples. Yowch.
"But, Oh-Cakey-Goddess-of-Most-High-Snark-and-Random-Sprinkles" you're saying, because you're finally using my proper title, "What I REALLY want to see is a tiny cake crawfish inside a cake uterus!"
Well, ok, but only because you asked politely.
;)
What's that? You want two slices? Yeesh. You're so shellfish.
Hey, remember that time when Dobby from Harry Potter tried to stifle a really, really big sneeze?
;)
"Accio CHOOIEE!!"
(I know; that was a real "light bulb moment" for me, too.)
Gosh, all this pink is getting kind of monotonous, don't you think?
Here, this should help:
;)
And that's how everyone learned that Jeannie was actually born a Smurf.
And now, a little "poetry:"
;)
Q: "Why did the lady blush during her sonogram?"
A: "Because she saw a fallopian!"
***
;)
***
Ahem.
Some people give their uterus a cute little pet name:
;)
(I'm seeing a cross between a Snork and a Fraggle. Please tell me I'm not the only one.)
Lola? Aw, that's sweet.
I bet Crampy McClots-a-Lot could kick Lola's butt.
And finally, the balloon-animal uterus you never knew you needed:
;)
You know, I never thought I'd like a uterus cake, but I've really taken a shine to this one.
Thanks to Laura A., Anony M., Erica O., Tanya S., Isabella, Dawn M., Sarah M., Nicki R., Sarah U., & Shelley T. for all the pro-creations.
Reader Comments (114)
Yikes. That last one looks like a malformed lobster.
Ewwwwwww. Shiny.
Epic fail(opian).
Well, I have lost my appetite this morning! I guess I'm not a very good mom if I can't appreciate a good uterus cake!!!
#3 looks so sad and ghostly and the blue one--is there an IUD in there?
I can't believe you have so many of these. That means there are millions of them out there. MILLIONS! Millions of uterus cakes, but more importantly, millions of people who think uterus cakes are acceptable. Am I the only one terrified by the fact ( and it is, in fact, a fact,) that our country is being overrun by tasteless cakes and the people who love them?
PS I kind of like Tanya's cake. I can only hope that my uterus is that cute.
Some things can't be unseen...here are 10 examples...
My eyes...they burn...
I think what disturbs me most is not the cakes themselves, but rather the fact that there are SO MANY uterus cakes! Seriously? Is this all something to really celebrate?
Um, yeah. I'm just gonna wait for Sharyn on this one.
U is for the Utter lack of good taste
T means they bring Terror to behold
E’s for “Ewwwww,” the word they made me blurt out
R – I Really must buy birth control
U -- it’s Unbelieveable you made those
S for “Sigh, something I can’t unsee…”
Put them all together, they spell UTERUS
Something a cake should never be.
Does the smurf uterus have an IUD in it? Or am I just seeing things......either way I've seen too much this morning!
I can't believe there are that many uterus cakes.I'm trying to come up with something witty, but I'm left with. "I can't believe there are that many uterus cakes."
And I thought the belly cakes were bad.
Why didn't they give Dr. Karl the "Happy Rehmelkh" cake instead of the creepy-just-performed-a-hysterectomy-and-took-out-too-much cake? Didn't they see the commercial?
Actually, it's all just a big joke. See, someone told the wreckerators that the English word "hysterical" is derived from the Greek word "hystera", meaning "womb." So they decided to make a whole bunch of womb cakes and it would be "hysterical."
*eel face*
Get it? Eh?
Although these cakes leave little womb for anything but nervous laughter. Especially the last one... *shudder*
"Lola" is pretty darned cute - If I had a T-Shirt with Lola on it, I might wear it... justsayin'
Bleach...BLEach...BLEACH....where's the bleach?!!!
@Craig Are you finished building that un-seeing gun yet?!!!
Wow. I NEVER had a desire to know what my uterus MIGHT look like if depicted in cake and now, after laughing over "Crampy Mc-Cramps-a-Lot" I still never want to see another rendition of the inside of a woman's body. EVER. *glurg*
Uterine lining
You were never a good friend
You don't deserve cake
Looks like Jeannie the Smurf has an IUD inserted. TMI!
GAH. GAH I say. You couldn't pay me to eat that.
*snort* Dobby's sneeze! *snort* That was awesome. Thank you!
Thank you, Your-Royal-Cakey-Goddess-of-Most-High-Snark-and Random-Sprinkles; I won't be able to shake these images for a while!
Eww
Can it please be Sunday?
For the Sweets - not necessarily because it will be Mother's Day already....
(Something has to counteact the grossness of this post today!) :o)
I am stunned beyond the pale that there are this many uterus cakes out there.
I know. . . over on facebook, it's Monty Python status day. Let's see if we can make this any better. Any good Monty Python uterus quotes???
All I can say is Ew. I don't want any cake now.
And why is the Happy Mother's Day cake on black icing? Happy Mother's Day, here's a uterus, let's all mourn?
what is in the upper left corner of the "no mo flo" cake? Is that chewing gum?
So many questions… so many comments… so many reasons why these wreckerators should have listened to their guidance counselors and gone into a field where they could do less damage. Ballpoint pen manufacturing? Packing tape inspections at the local post office? Manhole cover dusting?
On the first cake, is that lavender stuff in the middle Pop Rocks? 'Cause I'm thinking Ma Rocks would be more appropriate.
Your not-amused eel made me laugh. Out loud, even. I never would have made it through the rest of the cakes without him.
Sometimes I really wish I didn't check out this page while eating breakfast. There's a 50/50 chance of either snorting cheerios out my nose with laughter, or having to set my bowl and spoon aside until the nausea passes.
Ohmygoodness. I bow to your genius. This is the most hilarious thing I've read in ages! Dobby...Lola...I'm gasping for breath!
Ew. I can see celebrating a hysterectomy with cake but I think a big happy face would suffice. Or maybe a flag to celebrate a new found freedom. A uterus cake would only free my lunch.
OK, I thought the blue-baby cake was the height (or the nadir, depending on your perspective) of poor taste, but these are just ... beyond. Dis-gust-ing, on so many levels.
Wait--hysterectomy cakes are a thing?
I...can't...makes...you guys broke my brain O_o
I too am appalled at the prevalence of uterus cakes, and how have I never come across any before in my life?
Anyway, I'm not entirely convinced the second to last is a uterus. For one, it's a bon voyage cake, so how could a uterus be part of the theme? But for another thing, and most importantly, that face looks more like a floppy clown cake wreck fail than an actual uterus.
Please let me believe this.
Trevor asked "Is this all something to really celebrate?"
I answer - oh hell yeah. I'm not the only woman who will be celebrating the beginning of my freedom from fertility and BC pills (later this year), and those cakes are absolutely awesome. OK, some of them are not very well done and kinda gross, but the idea behind them is spot on.
They're still a lot more appetizing than the attempts to recreate scenes from Alien using a headless pregnant torso with a baby bursting out. *barf*
And Shaun the Sheep makes another cameo in #4.
Brill!!!!! I laughed so hard!
This post will get me through Sunday, when we visit MIL and have to endure lots of complaints and blame. Thanks for making my brain so shiny :)
(Dobby has earrings)
If there can be cake for a hysterectomy, can there be cake for any surgical removal of body parts? Any ailment harmful enough to require the removal of the offending part must be celebrated! Appendix is about to rupture; eat cake! Getting rid of that gall bladder? Someone depict it in icing! Testicular cancer? Sounds like a reason for nut cake to me!
While these are all completely fabulous in a please-poke-my-eyes-out kind of way, the cherry on top (pardon thinly veiled virginity reference) is the cranberry juice ad that happened to pop up at the top saying, "Taste it and tell us what you think."
These cakes make me fearful of tomorrow's cakes!!! O.O
The Morey eel was priceless!! :D
I don't know which is worse- the fact that they made a CCC into a uterus, or that the smurf uterus has an IUD. I suppose Smurfette's just being careful, being one girl among several hundred men...
And Sharyn, I blame you for my earworm. I haven't heard that song in years. YEARS, I tell you! And now, it will be with me all. day. Thanks?
Lets just be glad the "Flo" cake used what it did and not the "products" that are no long neccessary. remember what do you call someone who lives in Tampa? Tampons!
Here comes the Epcot!
@Jody -- It's a hysterectomy cake. Lola the Uterus is going on a one-way trip. While I doubt an ocean will be involved, there WILL be salt water (saline solution.)
WOMBats will not take the place of LOL cats. ok. I'm done for the day. Someone may have fired Flo, but she's still knocking at my door.
Eels and shrimp? Really?
The second cake proves it: everything really is better with sprinkles! There's a party in my Uterus: so crowded! So crowded!
Lola looks like the Kool-Aid man to me.
SHARYN!!!! hahahaha *snort* hahahaa! You never disappoint, I tell ya! Jen & John should put you (& Haiku Joy & Fluffy Cow) on staff. Hee hee ;0)
I don't get the blushing sonogram - saw a fallopian joke. Am I thinking too clean? I can't believe I'm asking for clarification.
Quite possibly my favorite post ever!!!
"really get those creative juices flowing."... is there such a thing as a triple entendre?
Geez you make me laugh.
I am so hoping this is an American thing and that we don`t have these here in England
@Niki who asked for clarification: Take it slowly. Break the word "fallopian" into two pieces. She saw a "fellow p... "
I love the "creative juices" all around. Reading the comments is half the fun! But, seriously, some things just SHOULDN'T be made into cake!
@mememe...as the submitter of that 'no mo flo' cake, the blob in the left corner was a #3 candle that had been pulled out after blowing it out. I think, if I recall ('cause this was 3 or 4 years ago and my brain, after 2 kids, is shot), the #3 was something to do with her age--I think there was another number candle but it didn't get tossed onto the cake board, LOL (she was in her early 30s), hence the "3;" but yes, it does look like chewing gum, or even a little 'baby' like in a Mardi Gras king cake!