Fourth Time's The Charm
May 4, 2012 In honor of Star Wars day today ("May the fourth... Get it?!) I couldn't resist cracking open what is quite possibly my favorite post ever written by Number1. Of course, I also couldn't resist adding a little more wreckage to it, since a tale this epic deserves wreckage of only the finest caliber. So, without further ado, here's Number1 to tell you a story...of a lovely lady...called STAR WARS.
Ok, so, the movie is set in space, "the final frontier," sometime in the future.
;)
Luke Skywalter is the pilot for the Star Ship Firefly:
;)
(That's the red boomerang thing.)
Skywalter has to save the beautiful Princess Leia from the evil grip of Dark Vader and his Terminators:
;)
"We will destroy Hans Solo by playing checkers."
In order to get past all of the Cylons, Skywalter makes some friends with magical powers:
;)
RD2D, CP3O and Spider-Man.
RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man follow Luke to the planet Vogon. There they find a short psychic Muppet in a swamp:
;)
Slimer.
Slimer tells Luke to "use the force," but Luke doesn't know what that means so he shoots him. (First.)
Luke and his gang then go back to the Enterprise to fight Dark Vader and rescue Princess Leia. Again.
;)
But the ship is now underwater, which makes it impossible to turn on their Life Savers.
Plus Dark Vader thinks it's unfair that Luke brought friends to help him fight, so Vader calls a friend of his own:
;)
Accio pixie power!!
But wait! Slimer pops up from the dead and casts lightning into Vader's helmet!
;)
Pew! Pew!
Vader falls to the ocean floor, and Slimer says, "You killed my father; prepare to die!" Then he crosses the tachyon streams to open a wormhole which sends Vader back to Gozer.
Then Luke, Slimer, CP30, RD2D, Scully, Mulder, and Superman all run to rescue the beautiful Princess Leia a third time, and she proclaims her love for Luke. (Which really annoys Yo Jabba Jabba, but I think that's more in the next movie.)
;)
DON'T BLINK.
And so they all live together on the island until John Locke finds himself dead in the coffin.
THE END
;)
Thanks to Anony M., Debra B., Autumn P., Amanda N., Sarah, Jessica H., Ruth K., Meghann H., and Matt B. And as the brown coats say, "Live long, and may the force be with you!" So say we all.
Reader Comments (110)
Oh my gosh. I almost did something embarassing I was laughing so hard. I am proud to say I am geek enough to have found this hilarious!
The red thing isn't Serenity, it's the Rebel Alliance "starbird" emblem. At least, it's supposed to be...
@SaraCVT - True, Sara, & maybe that's why she *agreed* to a joint cake w/her twin bro'. Else, that might mean Tinkerbell was *his* idea, though perhaps instead of wanting to *be* Tinkerbell, maybe he's just in love w/her. :-) Or maybe I just need more coffee to figure this one out...
*dives into Epcot bunker w/a flask of fresh hot coffee*
Sharyn & Haiku Joy, wanna join me? There's room & you don't even have to try my gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free cake! Oh, zoomom & Grn3yes (did I get that right?), feel free to join us... Anyone else, do the secret knock & we'll let you in... SuBee, is that you?
*bunker blast doors slowly groaning & moaning shut with a dark thud...*
Has anyone noticed, and maybe im wrong or maybe it has been already pointed out, that in the second cake it looks like Anakin fighting Darth Vader?
@christine
Could be, but Luke wore a black outfit like that in Ep 6 (The Return of the Jedi) when he fought Vader. I don't recall Anakin wearing a black outfit until after he became Vader & it had the blinky lights panel, etc. Just my thoughts...
(Yes, my geekdom is showing... :-)
Star Wars is set "SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE"???? Are you serious?? "A long long time AGO in a galaxy far far away"....it's like the most famous line in/about star wars!!
...sorry, I love your website. I just had to point that out. :-)
Skywalter? Sky...WALTER? ....
As a browncoat, I salute you. Also as a Trekkie. And a Whovian.
I love the first cake where it's all Star Wars... but then... Star TREK (Enterprise) is on the cake. What the... (I'm a grown woman, but have 3 older brothers... DON'T JUDGE ME!) I personally think a sprinkling of Battle Star Galactica shoulda been thrown around the edges - but what do I know...
Nooo! They ruined everything! EVERYTHING! I kinda like "Live long & properl" Because Vulcans TOTALLY use ampersands. Duh.