Monday
Apr162012
Body of Art
April 16, 2012 The flower represents the innocence of youth.
The stump, life's transience.
And the flaming tentacle hands cradling the noodle-limbed fetus broken in half?
Well, those are there just to freak you the f*** out.
;)
Mission accomplished, Erika K.
(Btw, pretty sure those baby legs are going to be tap-dancing their way into my nightmares tonight.)
*Tappity tap tap tap*
*Tappity tap tap tap*
(Yep.)
(NEVER. SLEEPING. AGAIN.)
[Note from john: The "f" word up there was "fern." Wait... you didn't think... what is WRONG with you people?!]
Reader Comments (161)
What do flattened bronze jellyfish have to do with this cake? What does anything have to do with this cake? *shudder*
Poor Haiku Joy, I feel your pain. I hope you've started some sort of whole body cleanse to rid yourself of the texting residue. (The throbbing in the nerve endings should subside in a few hours.)
Is that a flower??? Seriously, what the fern!
Jen and John (thoJ),
I used to like Cake Wrecks, but I fear I must stop reading it unless you immediately switch to a font I find less offensive to myself and my child. (Calibri? Really?)
Oh, wait, it's YOUR blog, and no one is forcing me to read it.
Well, fern. Never mind.
(Thanks for your endless patience.)
ok, Im with everyone else who said WTF!!!! I'd love to hear the back story on this one, I'm hoping that whoever received this cake wasn't TOO mortified. I think I've changed my mind. It's not WTF. It's WTFF. The first F stands for "FREAKY". You all know what the second F stands for. OMG
MY EYES! Dear God look away, look away!!!
Aaaagh! my eyes... some one help me... those little upside down and backward legs are so frightening!
great, now I am going to have nightmares
I'm not doing too well with the thought that this representation seems to be on a roasting pan.......
W.h.a.t. i.s. t.h.a.t.....give me cupcakes with a swirl and sprinkes anyday
@zoomom: LOL...well done, well done!
Usually I can tell what the designer was going for. He/she may have missed by a mile but you can see what the basic idea was. But this- I can't even fathom what it's supposed to be or why someone would painstakingly render it in cake.
I don't
understand
there is a flOWER NECK STUMP????
Whiskey. Tango. FOXTROT?!?!?!?! (That's "what the FERN?!?!?!" to the uninitiated.)
I want a bottle of Wrexitol! Take my money now, Zoomom!
Wow. How about some clowns tomorrow? Or marzipan pigs?
On the bright side- it’s beautifully executed. One wonders if the decorator was…
I watched part of War of the Worlds last night- maybe these are like the red vines….
@banlu Bless you! That transporter crack was what broke my o.O stare.
My OT Word of the Day update: Today's Word for my students is kaffeeklatch. (And that's the spelling we're using of the multiple possibilities.)
My students had been complaining that I choose obscure, ridiculous words for them to learn. So today I announced that I found THREE of them in two chapters of a children's novel over the weekend (kobold, knight errant, and knoll in The Neverending Story by Michael Ende).
So then they were mad that I was teaching them "children's" words. I'm ready to send them to live strictly kosher on a kibbutz for all their kvetching! May the Kraken or the kelpies get them! May they be forced to live on krill, kohlrabi, and kefir casseroles all the days of their life, sans kvass! May they go to a zoo and not know the difference between kookaburras, klipspringers, Komodo dragons, and kinkajous! May their campfires never kindle, and their Krebs cycles . . . shoot, I don't have the heart to wish something bad on them at the cellular level, the knaves.
But I've got my kriegspiel out, and I'm planning their final exams . . .
Fern.
I was eating while reading this post, and if I had an appetite then, I certainly DO NOT have one now.
Do you have any idea what this was SUPPOSED to be? Like, if it was sold, someone must have requested something. I can't see someone walking into a bakery and saying I want a pregnant torso cake, only with the fetus exposed, and sea anemones thrown on top.
(Or do you think the sea anemones were added by a second, freaked out baker?)
Sometimes, I really worry about people.
What the Fern...okay, I'm stumped, what is this?
WTH? I can't think of the words to describe just how disturbing this is.
@Haiku Joy -- What a kerfuffle! I'd tell them to put the kybosh on that kvetching right away, as it's bad karma to argue with your teacher. Don't they realize with one keystroke you can knock their grades on their collective keesters?
(I realize you may be keen to have them keelhauled, but you're way too kindhearted...)
'Kay now?
About the language thing - I'm confused right now. I always turn to Cake Wrecks to keep me up with the latest of hip lingo and cultural references. It never lets me down and now I know all about the Old Spice guy and the Pow Wow man and teletubies and little ponies and more. Has Fern become a naughty word? Gosh, my garden is full of ferns, whatever am I going to do. WTF!
"You will never find a more wretched fern of scum and villainy"
normally i don't get too freaked by even the freakiest of cakes on this amazing website. but this one... i just don't know what it is and i'm scared. ::worried face::
What the 'fern'!?!?!? I don't understand. I don't think I want to understand.
Had people not mentioned that the flower is where the head should be, I never would've figured out what I was looking at. I was looking at it upside down thinking "WTF am I looking at?!" O_o; Creepy, to say the least.
Holy Fern!! I hope that I never become "that" talented! *shudder*
@ Haiku Joy After I iced a cake this evening I did my homework!! Letter of the day: K!!
@zoomom I was up for some Wrexital, until I read about the side effects!!
Tappity tap tap tap *scream*
The more I look at those damn legs the more disturbing I find them.
Zoomom, I think I need a hefty dose of that Wrexital stuff, more for my mother-in-law's sake than mine, must.. resist.. urge.. to... SLAP!!
Going back and having another look does NOT help, not at all, not at all, noooooo . Enlarging the image - I should know better! It is entirely too much like the regularly updated images on a Right To Life billboard in town ... creepy creepy creeping and disgusting.
Is it a fern? Oh man I am NOT looking at that cake again since the image is now burned into my brain. I am with Joan..KILL IT WITH FIRE!!! Sheesh I admit it is creative but what exactly were they going for? Honestly wreckerators this cake needs to come with a map so I don't get lost trying to figure this out..too late on that. Back to trying to erase it's image from my brain.
This is obviously an abstract artistic statement, a pregnant Thanksgiving turkey, wrapped in seaweed, depicted with Dada-style surrealism. The flower represents that spark of optimism, despite the horrible deformities of the fetoid... Oh hell, it's just a freaky scare tactic. Just say no to sex.
You show a cake featuring a horrible tentacle-person to hundreds of Internet geeks, and I'm the only one who makes a Cthulhu joke? How does that happen?
Some tentacled anemone-like alien is sucking the life out of a decapitated woman so it can steal her unborn child to take back to the mother ship for experimentation. The aliens will raise the child as their own and one day send it back to earth as a secret alien agent; the precursor to their invasion and annihilation of our planet. The only way we will recognize this secret alien agent when he returns to earth is that his legs are on backwards. We must stop him before he completes his mission!
This is the only way I can explain this excessively disturbing cake. My mind will not accept that the baker thought this was in any way lovely, tasteful, or a celebration of a new life. Ugh! This gets my vote for worst cake ever. Absolutely!
Is that a vagina? And even more disturbingly: is that a flower where the anus is supposed to be? Forget the tap-dancing baby legs, that flower will haunt me!
Ps its a shame the cake did not shave itself, nothing wrong with a brazilian.
Yikes! That's one scary cake. If you kind of stare at it long enough, the torso part looks like a turkey to me. Squint out the baby and the arm and bronze things, and there you go. Maybe the baker used one of those pan-tastic/pan-wow pans recycled from Thanksgiving.
Thanks for keeping me laughing.
@ Barbara Anne - Marzipan Pigs is what I will have to name my bagpipe rockabilly band.
WHAT THE FRACK IS THAT?!?! Seriously?
There are so many "what the fern" moments in this cake, I don't know where to start! Is that a flower broach or part of the female anatomy portrayed in yarn? I know babies are pretty flexible, but this is a child with no bones in its appendages! And those bronze things look like neurons that were super sized in some awful 1950s sci-fi B movie - or worse, the effects of a flesh eating bacteria.
Good lord, the wreckage! My sympathies to the expectant mother who received this cake!
@Gobbler
At 28 weeks, this baby could suck on the back of his or her knees! Ah, the miracle and wonder of unattached fondant limbs!
i know it IS indeed a coincidence as neither the baker nor you could have known, but there was a six legged baby born in pakistan, which looks disturbingly similar to the "baby" on the wreck. just thought i'd let you know. here's the link: http://www.opposingviews.com/i/health/conditions/six-legged-baby-born-pakistan-fighting-his-life
How much do you wanna bet that the cake is red velvet?
I'm so confused.
Looking again at the cake, I wonder if the mother happens to be the bride who wanted her wedding cake to look like her sans head and limbs. You know, the one who put a wedding veil on a neck stump in" Here Comes the AAAAUUUGH."
It's like the creator didn't know how to make hands or a head, so he/she decided to plop copper thingies all over it to cover up the stumps. I'd love to hear the back story on this one!
@ Tea: OMG I see it. The flaming bronze tentacles are on the hands and shoulder!!.
So at first I was looking the other way, thought the Baby was being seen through the V, and that the large mass of flaming tentacles to the left of the picture was hair. I guess I'm a little sicker than others here.
What the Fern?!
This is creepy & strange.
"What the Fern!" --- that saying is just as good as our family favorite ---
"What the HELLo Kitty!"
Feel free to use that one too whenever you'd like. :)
Cthulhu called, he wants his tray back.
may it's aliens way of announcing that "they're here"?