Easy As 1,2,C!
April 17, 2012 "Ok, Mr. Johnson, we're going to take a quick look at your tax forms for last year, alright?"
"Nooo problem."
"Great. Let's start with your dependents. Now, how old is your daughter Emily, exactly?"
"Oh, she hasn't been born yet. But not to worry; the wifey and I are working on that, IF you know what I mean!" [winkwink]
"Er...unfortunately I do, yes. And forgive me, but I couldn't help but notice from your previous returns that little Levi has been one year old for quite some time."
"That's a, uh, medical condition. Very rare. I'm sure you've never heard of it. But it's completely tax-deductible, believe me - just like his back waxing."
"Uh HUH. And I see that you and your wife, Ann - if that's her real name..."
"Oh, she likes to spell it with quotes. She's French."
"Ah. Well, you and your wife seem awfully fond of naming your children 'Andy.' Why is that?"
;)
"We find it's just easier that way. And you should see 8th Andy with her ferrets - aDOOORable!"
"Look, Mr. Johnson, I'm sure we can get all your dependents sorted out, but right now I'm most concerned about your numbers."
"My numbers? What's wrong with them?"
"Mr. Johnson, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you can't count."
"WHAT?! Of course I can count! Counting is as easy as 1, 2, 5!"
"Three, sir."
"Oh, fine, have it your way."
"And perhaps next we should talk about your hearing problem."
"What?"
Thanks to Marsha N., Darcy P., Carrie Z., Jen M., & Nikki H. for taxing us with today's wrecks. Remember, cake wrecks and books
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Reader Comments (47)
One, two, C
Easy as A, B. 3.
Simple as Do, Re, tree,
One, two, C
That's how easy cake can be...
And while I'm here let me just say, Emily's not really, really pre-conceived.
She's just really, really stupid.
But Mr. Taxman, Emily is a gifted chlid who has invented time travel. She just sent us a hologram of her graduation via telepathy. I'll ask her to telepathically implant an image of her diploma into your brain for proof. Shouldn't we get a tax break for giving the world such a child?
My four-year-old could do better than this, and I don't even have any kids.
Obviously Levi is missing a digit, but I'm going to pretend somebody got a birthday cake for their pet shrew (and he ate the whole thing).
Hehehe.... Month python and the holy Grail.... Lol
First, let me say...OMG!!! I am that Emily!!! I love the comments so far...I like to think I'm gifted...
Second, it took me a minute to realize it was my cake...seeing the name "Emily" always catches my eye. I saw Greg and JHS and was thinking "Oh, neat, there's another JHS out there somewhere"...then I see McK...and the sudden realization of being named on a wreck...wow.
Third...I knew this day was bound to happen...
Who thought s brown flower, on a brown cake, was a good idea? Gross. (And this is coming from someone who loves chocolate)
Levi's cake is pretty, albeit confusing, except for those strange grey blobby things.
And why is "Ann"'s name in a mud puddle? One of the ugliest cakes I've ever seen.
Love how you draw them together into a story.
What a clever post; it gave me a much-needed giggle! Thanks :)
Blue confetti piece,
not content to be grounded,
races for summit.
But where did emily get that coconut?
I'd use an alias if my name was written in a poo puddle, too.
Love the subtle Monty Python!
What's happening on 'Ann's' cake?
A poo rose with poo leaves appears to be sitting in a puddle of poo which loosely (ew) resembles a poo flip flop. Nice work on the chocolate curl, though.
No, 'really'.
SuBee, love your song! It brought to mind another Michael Jackson tune, so thanks!
“Audit”
Tax man said don’t you bring that cake around here.
Don’t wanna give me bad cakes when you’re in arrears.
The letters are wrong and the numbers aren’t clear.
So, audit. Just audit.
You better run, you better get your wife “Ann”.
There is no Emily, is there, you macho man?
I’m gonna be tough, Big Bird Towing be damned.
So audit. And it’s gonna be bad.
Just Audit. Audit. Audit. Audit.
Andies 2 through 10 deleted.
Show your son, Levi, or I’ll show my might.
It doesn’t matter. I’m always right.
Just audit, audit
Just audit, audit
We’re out to get you, so get baking, my man.
A well-constructed cake would be a better plan.
Don’t wanna go to jail? Skip the frosting in a can.
Or audit, just audit.
Colored sprinkles would have shown that you cared.
Right now, I’m adding zeroes and you’re looking scared.
I’ll lick beaters when you’re done, then I’ll tell you what’s fair.
Or audit. And it’s gonna be bad.
Just Audit. Audit. Audit. Audit.
Andies 2 through 10 deleted.
Show your son, Levi, or I’ll show my might.
It doesn’t matter. I’m always right.
Just audit, audit
Just audit, audit
Ha! We were using the same Monty Python quote with the kids just last night... love it :)
I sort of admire that the maker of the "Ann" cake was aiming for something subdued and artistic ......but it's still a failure.
Not only is it going for a monochromatic color scheme of the worst possible choice for something edible, but "Ann" 's cake doesn't even appear to be frosted, aside from aforementioned poo puddle. Ew. :\
Love your posts, I pop in every day! But this one? I think it's my personal favorite! LOVE your commentary!!! (Even if I can't say I love these cakes!)
Funny stuff, people!
Line that made me laugh the hardest: Oh, she likes to spell it with quotes. She's French.
Happy Tax Day!
Bahahahaha, needed laughs for the taxman-XD XD
Hey, don't knock that first cake. It's expressing optimism for the future! No, really! Seriously! HONest!!!
(blinkblink)
Screw it. Bring me the Holy Hand Grenade of ANNNNNNNNNNNtioch.
Yeah, 1 is the new 40. When Levi hits 2, he's gonna trade in his strolller, buy an expensive sports car and start dating women half his age.
"And you should see 8th Andy with her ferrets - aDOOORable!" - I almost spit Cream of Wheat on the computer screen!
Emily - I love that you knew one day you would be enshrined here! Congratulations on graduating, whenever that takes place :-)
Perhaps E'mily is a professional student, and this is her parents' way of saying that people are starting to catch on. Let's face it -- six years to finish an A.S.? In cake decoration? I do note the irony of proper spelling.
Levi just turned one and he's already over the hill? They grow up so fast! I guess the idea is to claim a dependent child who draws a pension. Yeah, that should fly. Are there any 'happy audit' cakes?
Now, "Ann's" cake is very high concept. What one has to be high on to come up with such a concept is another question. Perhaps the wreckerator should use the name-in-quotes thing.
At least Andy X gets 'congratulations' spelled correctly. What is it with wreckerators -- you can have proper spelling or complete sentences, but not both?
12CABC in hex notation is 1231548 decimal. It makes sense now, right? That's hex as in hexadecimal (base 16), not the other kind of hex.
@ Sharyn ~standing ovation~
@Emily H. - I never would have said, "Emily is really, really stupid" had I known it was your cake. I'm sure you made it through school in four years, not the 18,004 years implied by the cake.
@Sharyn - I could never compare my pitiful 4 lines to your skillfully crafted parody. You are the Comment Queen!!!
I'm still trying to figure out what "McK" is on Emily's cake. It looks like they forgot the rest of the word.
I'm sure 8th Andy's ferrets are adorable. Now I want to see a ferret cake.
@Sharyn -- I will be hearing the audit song in my head all day long. Excellent work. Brava!
And Monty Python on a Tuesday is exactly what was needed before I head into more meetings. Oh. Yeah.
@Sharyn
Andies 2 through 10 deleted! Bwhahahaha!
I completely understand Emily's struggle to graduate...must be hard when all you do is stare longingly at blue icing roses.
I suppose the baker for the first cake might not have seen the fourth zero, the way a kid might skip a word in a sentance and be like "Huh?"
However, there is no excuse for a baker to write "Congratulations 10th Andy" on a cake. (Did I spell that wrong?) Especially lke that! I mean, there's no balance or neatness or anything! Gah!
And now I'm going to be galloping around on my horse tonight...
That's not a horse you say? Those are just two empty halves of coconuts and I'm just bangin' them together? Well at least *I* can count to 5--whoops...I mean 3. :D
The "Ann" cake even has ugly candles.
Im a cake decorator for a grocery store in nc. The sesame street cake is in my cake book for bakery crafts.com and in the picture to create this cake it actually has the numbers and the letters mixed up on the cake, but for someone to actually put it on the cake knowing it is an error is beyond me and very funny! I cant blame them for following the picture like it shows, im a blonde myself, but that is just common sense :)
Levi's cake is from Costco...I've ordered and eaten plenty so I could recognize them just about anywhere. They don't take call-in orders (at least not in my area), so everything is handwritten by the customer. This *could* have been a mistake on his/her part.
#1 Poor Emily, I’ve heard of being held back but projecting that she’ll need to be cryogenically frozen to achieve that? Wow. (with all due respect to Emily H, of course!)
#2 Huh! Gray can look like poo. Go figure.
#3 Here’s a not-surprise: liquid brown icing looks like runny poo.
#4 That’s actually “Ardy” but the A ran into the r. Interestingly, there’s more room to write “Congratulations” across the long way than katty corner.
#5 At least they got sprinkles. Bonus points for not being a CCC (patooie).
@Sharyn & SuBee I never get tired of saying how awesome you are!
@Craig trying to validate a cake by tossing in hex is waaaaaay beyond geeky. :)
@DB so when will your bagpipe band “Marzipan Pig” be recording Sharyn’s song?
@ Little Cake Maker - I have that cake too in our cake book at work. Sadly, our idiot manager writes us up if we don't do a cake as -exactly- to the pictures as we can. I hurts my soul every time I have to do '1, 2, C'.
On that note. Aw. Poo cake. =(
I'm the Greg from the first cake! This is what it's like to be Internet famous!
stop with the baby jokes, PLEASE!!! we have to start that unit in science soon. oh the terror. *shudder* anyway, why the random globs of fudge and the quotation marks?????????
@Sharyn and SuBee -- a tip o' the ol' 1040 to you...you've made my day less taxing....thank you...
@bmbagain803 - Well, I've always wondered when I'd see a cake I recognized, but I surely didn't think it'd be one that I received!
@Craig - I'd love to be a professional student...if only I didn't have to pay for it...
@SuBee - No biggie! It did only take me 4 years, but they sure felt a lot longer!
@Heather - I graduated from McKendree College (now McKendree University), which is referred to as "McK" for short. It was intentional!
@AS - It sure felt like it at times! (And the roses photographed blue, they're actually purple...)
@KatWag - So I graduated in 2000, and no one noticed the extra "0" until a couple of years ago when Mom came across the picture and submitted it!
This has been a blast! I had no idea Mom had even submitted the picture until I saw it this morning! Thanks, Jen, you made my month! Go McK Bearcats!
haiku genius
The MCK on the first cake stands for McKendree. The school Emily graduated from and it only took her 4 years.
Poor "Ann". What did she do to deserve a pile of poo and a poo rose? That first cake is really pretty if you over look the class of 20000 thing lol. At least they didn't get poo piles..that would be beyond horrible. I think that some wreckerators just hate their customers and give them poo to show for it.
Nice serial commenting, @Barbara Anne. ;-) 'Programmer' is one of the hats I wear at work and I am currently working on a programming project that has "confiscated my life," as 'E' says. A string of numerals and letters in a certain range triggers an automatic association.
The cake book problem sounds like a job for DOC if ever there was. If I worked at one of those places, I would scan the offending page, photoshop a '3' in place of the wayward 'C', print the result and insert it in the book. I would then put the original in a sealed envelope marked, 'to be opened when pigs fly' and file it in one of the DOC archives' special round filing cabinets.
You are on a roll this week! Hilarious!
"Oh, she likes to spell it with quotes. She's French."
Well, I guess I'll be referring to myself as "Cindy" from now on!
LOL @ Sharyn and SuBee - your songs cracked me up!
"Cindy"
I love the commentary on your posts!
awesome post loved it;]