Politically Correct Leprechauns
March 13, 2012 In a groundbreaking move to unite the world under the banners of multiculturalism and type 2 diabetes, the bakers of America have released the following new designs for their St. Patrick's "Leprechaun Line." Enjoy.
"Cee Lo Green Sees Mo' Green"
;)
"I see you driving 'round town with the gold I love, and I'm like, F*&@% YOU, I'M A *&%#'n LEPRECHAUN NOW GIVE IT BACK."
"The Rabbi Rabble Rousers"
;)
"Kiss me, I'm wearing a yarmulke!"
"Luigi the Irish Plumber"
;)
"Psst. Hey. I'll trade you some purple horseshoes for more spotted mushrooms. THEY'RE MAGICALLY DELICIOUS AND I WANT TO SEE MORE RAINBOWS."
Or, for a one-size-fits-all option, there's:
"Colin, the Tap-Dancing Cheeto"
;)
[tappity-tap-tap-tap!]
Aaaand...
*JAZZ STUMPS!*
Hey, Juliet R., Dan B., & Emma D., ya feelin' lucky, punks? Well, are ya?
Reader Comments (65)
*jazz stumps* Brilliant !!!
Thanks, Jen, for my morning snort-and-try-not-to-spew-coffee.
That first cake, though...... *shudder* .... i think the cake wants to eat people.....
Do the people who make these even KNOW what they are celebrating??
Those examples in the 2nd picture - Leprecohens? Too tacky?
Oh gosh, the cheeto got me!! I snorted out loud on that one! Glad nobody else was in my office this morning!
As a musical theatre person "Jazz Stumps" just made my morning....
...said one of the "The Rabbi Rabble Rousers":
"Oy vey, where are my eyebrows?"
Colin the tap dancing Cheeto - OMG, I should KNOW better than to be drinking something when I read this blog!
I can't wait to see if there are any "Ides of March" cakes come Thursday!
*** Jazz stumps! *** Oh dear lord, thankfully I left my cup of tea in the kitchen or I would have ruined the computer! Freaking BRILLIANT!!!!
Cheeto's magic bulge.
Is it in front or in back?
Hard question, that one.
~~~
GrnEyes6, I didn't get to tell you yesterday, but your haiku for the Angry Birds was excellent. Well-done, little nonscary haiku monster!
~~~
Prediction of Sunshine Mary's comment:
The last one looks so happy despite his shortcomings! We should all be like him!
Alternatively:
I'm glad I live in a world where these cakes are possible! Some people don't get to live in that world, and we should be thankful!
...said one of the "The Rabbi Rabble Rousers":
"Oy vey, where are my eyebrows?"
Dont forget, he's missing his mouth, too!
You gotta admit one thing, for a CCC that's actually not all that bad.
PS. I mean #3, the Luigi one.
JAZZ STUMPS!!!!
Holy cow, funniest post in quite awhile! Great stuff, "jazz stumps"!
Oh.WOW. That first cake looks like an evil cross (is there another kind) between a goblin. leprechaun and the scarecrow (or at least his straw!) from Wizard of Oz. The next two cakes just make me wonder what flesh-colored frosting tastes like....(is that wrong?)
Dancing Cheeto! Love the jazz stumps, just TOO hilarious!
Hmmmm, once again, except the rabbis, they're all cupcake cakes!
Did anyone else notice that on the last one there's a little pump sticking out under the black outline? Insert immature comment here.
Are we sure #1 is not part werewolf?
ot that that could make it any scarier.
I managed to suppress my giggles of amusement up until the "Jazz Stumps!" and then lost it. Thanks for making my title of Office Lunatic still stand! :D
St. Patrick is credited with banishing all the snakes in Ireland by driving them into the sea, but that's actually not the case. A few manage to find their way back onto the island every year. To keep these snakes from overrunning their country, the Irish came up with a secondary line of defense. Each year, enterprising wreckerators spring into action, creating an array of cakes so awful the remaining snakes die laughing. While it has proven to be a workable strategy for controlling the snake population, the psychological damage to the human population was devastating. Then, researchers discovered consuming large quantities of beer -- often fortified with green nutritional supplements -- effectively cushioned the populace from the worst of the psychological ravages, and beer became the traditional drink to celebrate/survive St. Patrick's Day. What no one predicted was the thriving snack industry that sprang up to provide munchies to help wash down all that medicinal beer. The snack industry is now almost as famous as St. Patrick's Day itself. Its mascot is Colin, the Tap-Dancing Cheeto, often depicted with his sidekick, St. Funyun. (Thank goodness for Wikipedia...)
*JAZZ STUMPS!*
"Jazz Stumps"
GENIUS!!!!
@Haiku Joy - I wonder about the cheeto's pants bulge as well!! :) LOL
*snickers* Jazz stumps... nice.
Oh. My. Gosh. It was all I could do to suppress bursting out laughing in my cubicle after I read the "Jazz Stumps"! Jen, you outdid yourself today. Brilliant as always.
The other cakes make me shudder a little.
Before I read the caption on #3, I thought it looked like one of the dwarves from Lord of the RIngs.
Are some of the Rabbi's also wearing a white flower?
Jazz Stumps almost made me pee myself.
@ marilyn
inserting some immature fact that to kiss the blarney stone, you gotta get down and crawl into a hole.
PASS.
"Jazz stumps" for the win! ROTFL!!
particularly hilarious today! Love it!
"I see you driving 'round town with the gold I love, and I'm like, F*&@% YOU, I'M A *&%#'n LEPRECHAUN NOW GIVE IT BACK."
---Ahahahahhahaahahahahahahahahahahaaa! *wipes away tears OFJOY!*
@ drgns4vr: Teen Wolf: The Leprechaun Years...What was spawned on a foreign exchange trip to Ireland!
@ Sharyn: Brilliant, as usual!
I think that first wreck is just PO'd because Warwick Davis nixed it as an extra in the third "Leprechaun" sequel...
The little cheeto dude just looks so happy.....he clearly is not deterred by the stumps.
Alternatively, St. Patrick at first thought his mission was to drive the snacks out of Ireland (much like some are trying to do in America today). When he realized his mistake, early wreckerators sprang into action to restore the supply as quickly as possible. Today's wreckerators continue this fine (?) tradition.
#1 An evil teddy bear (is there any other kind?) in a gold turtleneck, or a steak decorated with Cheez Whiz and bits of pepperoni. BTW, 'Cee Lo Green' is a Favorite Fetch on the Dogpile search engine right now. I wonder why. ;-)
#2 I can't see any other explanation for these than 'Rabbi Rabble Rousers.'
#3 Or Luigi. Love the charming 8-bit cupcake rendering. CCCs always bring words like 'rendering' to mind, for some reason.
#4 This little guy is celebrating "St. Patricks Day". The tradition was started by John St. Patrick, who drove the apostrophes out of America.
If you had leprosy of your right ear and gangrene in your scalp (like the first example), you'd be nonplussed too.
Dea Jen:
You Should make a tumblr!!! It would be so fun! I wouldn't have to think of interesting posts, because I could just reblog all of cake wrecks!!!!!
That first one, I've seen that expression somewhere before, on a trade mark or something before... But I can't quite place it...
# Bea.....I think it's Yoda....yep....Yoda
That is by far the happiest tap-dancing Cheeto I've ever seen... and I don't mean that in a weird "he's got some sort of dongle" way, I mean it in a sweet "look at that great smile" way. Though, upon closer inspection...
Does anyone else this part "I see you driving 'round town with the gold I love, and I'm like, F*&@% YOU, I'M A *&%#'n LEPRECHAUN NOW GIVE IT BACK." remind of the song "F**k you" by Cee-Lo Green? (WARNING: ear worm)
@ Craig -- Snakes, snacks. I always get those confused. Your version makes as much sense as mine.
Did Mr. St. Patrick drive all the apostrophes out of America, or simply encourage them to hide in inappropriate words?
Jazz stumps? What does that mean?
Well, that first one does take the cute and friendly trope out of the leprechaun image and return to the original crafty/evil, to be feared and avoided image. I think I prefer cute and friendly.
I love this blog. I have always loved this blog. And I like Colin the tap dancing Cheeto! :)
@ Linda, I don't think it's Yoda. Maybe I'm thinking of those Grateful Dead bears.
I am a little disturbed by what is going on south of the equator and outside the lines on that last one... HEED, DOWN NOW!!
Jen, you're sense of humor is awesome. I am putting "Jazz Stumps" in my list of favorite Wrecky quotes.
@ Night Owl - I think that was the point
Is it just me or is there a jack ( like the metal toy ) on the Luigi cake?
@Sharyn,
The apostrophes took to hiding in such places as collective nouns and non-possessive plurals in an attempt to escape detection. Unfortunately, the confusion thus created merely provided aid and comfort to those seeking an outright ban.
BTW, I nominate Theardare the apocalypse cat to be the official mascot of DOC.
Colin, the tap dancing Cheeto, is totally holding a pot o' poo, not a pot o' gold!
But Anna, to someone suffering one of the many faces of constipation, a pot of poo is totally a pot of gold.