Buzzkill

"There! On the horizon! Is it some foul messenger of Emperor Zurg, here to destroy all life in this galaxy??"
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Thanks to Rachel M., who adds, "This was the second attempt and the cake maker was shocked I was not happy. The manager, however, had to hold back his laughter and started calling all the employees over!"
Reader Comments (91)
I haven't laughted so hard in years. This should go in the "classics" section....
I think they got their movies mixed it looks like a cross between Buzz and the caterpillar from a bug's life?
UGH IT BURNS MY RETINAS!!!! D: The manger should not have been so shocked-that is one of the ugliest cakes i've seen ina long time.
Maybe its because I've seen so many bad cakes on here and have become desensitized, but it's not that bad. Not good, but not the worst I've seen.
But I find it hilarious that the manager was calling employees over to see the wreck.
I'm frightened, Auntie Em! I'm frightened!
I dunno. The candles in the helmet give it that extra added zing, right?
That is unspeakable.
I see the tragedy in it. But, I also hear, "Woo-hoo! Free cake!" Because there is no way she had to pay for that, right? (Right??!)
Looks like poor Buzz just discovered Newton's Second Law of Motion, and no one was there to use the soccer mom arm to keep him from slamming into the windshield.
Waking up slowly.
Stretch! Check email. Yawn! Cakewrecks . . .
No need for coffee.
Oh. Kudos to the baker for even trying. Buzz is hard to do. This looks like a mash-up of a Muppet and Marishka Haggarty's mouth.
Uh, wow!
Okay. So what you have here looks like a fat woman wearing some sort of sparkling head dress, a shirt with odd looking buttons on it, a creepy pedophile smile, with huge top teeth, tiny bottom teeth, dimples, an unnerving pedophile stare, and bizarre eyebrows that almost form a unibrow. Baker, look at the picture. Look at the cake. See a difference? You didn't even get the gender right. And somehow, you're still surprised that the woman doesn't like the cake. Get some glasses baker, they'll help you.
Some people just should not have access to an airbrush and cake decorating supplies. Either that, or they should take art classes. Lots and lots of art classes.
Didn't even get the buttons right on his chestplate. Some people have NO eye for detail.
So, when I saw the picture of the cake, I am pretty sure I had the same look on my face as Mrs. Potato Head. Scary!
Oh geez, wish I could have seen the first try too! So... what did you do for a cake?
Too bad you weren't doing an Alfred Molina themed party :) pretty much a dead ringer
*blinkblink* What? I...I did NOT see that, it can't be a real cake, it's an evil doppleganger posing as a lovable Pixar character. *SOB* Poor Ezrah, he's going to be too afraid to eat his own cake!
To infinity
and beyond with this terror
another sad child
That looks more like Chester the Molester. Just sayin'
I'm getting the feeling that, just as there are tone-deaf people who can't actually hear themselves being off-key when they sing (or anybody else), there must also be something like copy-blindness or something, where people can't actually see that there are significant differences between two visuals.
I mean, they may know that there are differences, but not grasp that the differences are wrong. Like there are differences between Dolly Parton and Whitney Huston singing "I will always love you", but we know both do it correctly but differently? Tone deaf people won't understand the difference between this and the way an off-key singer butchers a song. So it's futile to tell them "there, didn't you notice it's different here and here and here?" because yes, it's different but it's just the same to them.
Am I onto sumething here?
That's disturbing. My daughter is currently obsessed with Toy Story (and Buzz Lightyear in particular), so I was really excited to see the picture at the top, and I almost called her over to see it. Then I scrolled down.
Ohh . . . I feel a little sorry for this wreckerator. You can tell there was effort there. At least it looks like a person.
Facepalm to infinity...and beyond!
LOVE the third picture!!! LOVE IT!!! You should hang it above whatever computer you use to write your CW posts, because THAT is how your audience looks every day.
I'll be giggling quietly in my cubicle for the rest of the morning now.
I'm sorry - I know that the cake is bad, but unless you *know* that the bakery can do Buzz, have (the royal) we learned nothing from this site? I can ice a cake, but I couldn't do Buzz to save my life short of getting a plastic one and putting him on top.
That poor child. :'(
She didnt like it because they forgot the little chin spiral, right? Because otherwise the resemblance is uncanny..... to Uncle Fester!
Sadly that awful cake looks a lot like an exboyfriend.
I would love to see what the first attempt looked like if this one is this bad....
Love the story that goes with it :)
The scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz... no, he was nice. This is his evil twin.
Bless Flartus, who is absolutely right. We all look just like that each Cakewrecky day. I've been bursting into laughter all morning at the images AND the comments.
The group shot of horror is also familiar to me in another context. I like to call it "The Incredulity of College Students Upon Being Assigned Their First Two Page Paper." The same swollen surprise just before it bursts into either panic or despair, depending on the temperment of the student. Can I get that in cake form? I'd eat it for breakfast.
****No Joke****
Last night, in the pre-sleep period where my mind starts to wander and think incoherent thoughts, but I'm still aware enough to know that they're incoherent, I thought (apropos of absolutely nothing): "This suspect, she had the 'complexity' of the complexion of Buzz Lightyear."
I am so not kidding you.
Then, my phone rang and I was pulled back to coherence. I thought, "That's some crazy nonsense. Why was I thinking about Buzz Lightyear? Why am I thinking that I am getting ready to interview a suspect? What is complexion complexity?" Then I laughed at myself.
I really struggled with posting this, because what are the chances? I do have to say, though, that this is only significant/kind of not-lame because it's true. If I were making something up, I'd do a great deal better!
This is the third Cake Wrecks/EPBOT coincidence that I've had. I don't know what to make of it.
Buzz has a new name: Bug-eyed Leer.
His "helmet" looks like a white wig to me. So he sort of looks like Washington, or one of the British "court dressed" judges of old. Or, do they still do that? Anyway, George Washington wondering why he had to share his b.d. with the others.
My favorite part - I totally pulled the exact same face as the cast in that last picture when I saw the cake!
I just asked my 3 year old what the middle one looked like: "um, um, I don't know..."
I've never seen a cake with CRAZY EYES until today.
Oh gosh, that pic of the characters is PRICELESS!! It is so totally perfect!
I wonder what the first attempt looked like ?? O.O
People should not ask people to do things that are so obviously outside their skill set. There should be templates in bakeries for situations like these.
I kind of feel bad for the cake maker, but if your results come out looking like that, it's time to find another calling.
Kid's three. Years. Old. He'll never know the difference.
About the Disney cakes on here last Sunday, they'd look the same as this to the typical three year old.
So did you learn from experience or was it instinct to provide the picture of Buzz? Because if you hadn't done that, I sincerely doubt I'd have known what the cake was supposed to be.
Why, dear God... Why.
Oh, and congratulations on completely missing the point while trolling, "Kindergarten Teacher".
"Buzz" instantly made me think of Phamtom of Krankor from Prince of Space. (great MST3K episode!)
So close.
And yet so, so far.
My ten-year-old says, "But it's okay if the alien cake steals your soul. As long as it tastes good."
What we have here is another attempt to avoid copyright infringement. This isn't Buzz Lightyear at all, it's Bud Lightbeer. That would explain the eyes, the cheeks and...pretty much the whole thing, actually.
Alternate theory: What happened after Buzz fell into the hands of the evil kid next door a second time. Scene deleted due to being too disturbing for sensitive viewers.
Right about now, edible photo paper isn't sounding so bad...
@ Sharyn: soccer mom arm! Hee! My mom always did that to us kids if she had to stop short. One day, a young man at her work needed a ride home. Someone cut her off and she had to stop hard. She shot her arm out in front of him like she would any of us kids. Scared the poor guy! He thought she was getting "fresh"!
Buzzkill is the PERFECT title for this! This made me literally laugh out loud. WOW!
Sell it to a Doctor Who fan as a Sontaran Cake. It's just about right.