Flower Power
February 22, 2012 When it comes to wedding cakes, there's a right amount of flowers...
;)
[Note: this is not the right amount]
...and a WRONG amount of flowers:
;)
If you listen verrry closely, you can actually hear the cake screaming.
Bakers know a hefty blanket of fake blooms can cover a multitude of cakey sins:
;)
...including the fact that the groom forgot to pick up the cake.
[Fun fact: this was actually the mother-of-the-bride's hat.]
However, at some point the flowers and flotsam cross over from "charming camouflage" into "DEAR GOD, WHAT IS THAT THING?"
;)
When bakers play "To The Pain."
Many bakers use silk flowers to avoid the problem of brown droopy blooms on their cakes:
;)
Others use silk flowers to ensure it.
{I'm almost afraid to ask, but why do they even make roses in those colors?}
Just remember: sometimes, for some cakes, there simply aren't enough flowers in the world:
;)
In these instances, I advise a large shrubbery.
And maybe a few more of those Keystone Lights.
Thanks to Roger G., Alison V., Jen, Anony M., Stacey H., & Michelle C. for making all the two-year-old flower girls out there look extra talented today.
Reader Comments (83)
That white object reminds me of a mutated albino dalek taking it's little daleklett doggie for a walk.
I keep coming back to that lily! It's a despairing mutant starfish with an external stomach if I ever saw one.
Today's Word of the Day for my students: Kraken, the.
Oh my allergies...
#4 honestly looked like a pimp hat. Bow-chicka bow bow.
How short is the bride in cake #2? Or how tall is the groom? And where are his arms??
It appears that the cakes today are pretty ugly underneath all the flowers, however in general I don't think the baker is always necessarily to blame for some flower monstrosities. I work in a (very well respected) bakery and many times we are given a certain time to deliver a cake so the "florist" can come after us and put flowers and other crap on it. We've seen some pictures afterwards and were shocked at some of the things people would do to a cake that had started out very pretty. I'm talking dollar store plastic acorns, plastic christmas ornaments, giant peacock feathers just jammed in - you name it.
That last one could almost be cute. You know, if it weren't for the fact that the baker decided to use sloppy airbrushing to do polka dots (fondant dots would've been a lot better). Aside from pink camo, that's all I can figure the last was attempting.
The rest...yikes, what possesses people to use silk or real flowers in their cakes instead of going for gumpaste versions?
I am so delighted that you made a remark about the Keystone Beer in the last picture. If you hadn't, I would have. My first thought: "that Keystone beer seems MIGHTY appropriate right now."
In addition, I couldn't help but notice that in the second picture, one of the many ribbons was hanging DANGEROUSLY close to the candle. That cake would have gone up in flames REAL fast...and I probably would have let it; then there would have been more room for the guests to actually enter the reception hall...good gracious!!
The last one has a black splotch that's bleeding....
I actually like the first cake. I wonder if they played "Butterfly Kisses" for the bride and her dad.
I love it when you guys reference the Princess Bride :)
Regarding the second cake, I hope those lilies are fake. From what I just Googled, lilies are poisonous. Granted they are much more poisonous to cats, and maybe they won't get too much sap on the frosting . . .
Notice Cake #2 is extending its polyester tentacles to grab the open flame...protest by self-immolation?
y'all do know what part of the peacock the feather featured here is from right? not something i want near my food (or any other part of my being).
and a lot of those look like they were added to by the customer. i've seen flowers stuck on cake by pros and they seem intentional instead of whatever.
Haiku Joy: I keep getting drawn to that mutant star fish as well! It looks angry!
That last one kinda reminds me of what the curb looked like in front of our house after the 4th of July.....we loved those Snakes. Anyone remember those? We used to write our names with them.
Bring us a shrubbery! Ni, ni!
I think #1 would be a fairly pretty centerpiece if it was a Styrofoam tier cake and not meant to be eaten. It just needs ladybugs.
#2 has black ribbon? Really??
#4 is the latest result of Gary’s Toss the Flotsam game where everyone stands 15 ft away and throws “carp” at the cake.
I agree with Luci- some cakes I used to deliver would be plain and simple so the florist or family could “finish” them at the scene. These are truly finished. Ugh
Yay for The Princess Bride! :D
Cakes with flowers on them are the prettiest of all.
Silly people. #4 is not a cake. It is a hat that belonged to the Queen Mum ( bless her soul) , shedding its last flora and feathers yet still waiting patiently for another long slow drive in the touring car.
Is that last one supposed to be a pink camouflage cake??? My eyes were screaming at me to "scroll faster, scroll faster!!!"
The long caterpillar-looking things on cake #1 are one of my favorite flowers. Although they look spectacular in my garden, I can't imagine putting them on a cake. Coincidentally, their common name is "Love-Lies-Bleeding," which seems like a poor choice for any type of wedding flowers.
I'd bet a talented decorator could work wonders with the flowers on #5. Not with all of them at once, maybe, but maybe one color at a time.
Wow.. just wow. How did anyone cut through all the flowers on 2, 3 and 4?? I am thinking there really were no cakes under it just more frosting..bleh. As for that last cake that bride probably needed a lot of beer and wine to forget seeing the sadness of the cracks in her cake. Lol wreckerators enjoy ruining weddings I think.
Yikes! When I posted earlier in the day I was viewing the site on my iphone. Now that I'm on my computer I can see just how horrid those cakes really are! Is it sad if I admit that, after coming to the end of this post and scrolling back up to the top, the first cake actually looks kinda pretty? Yeah...i know...
I think this reminds us to check on the quality of the cake and not mess up on the planning stage. This also tell us that in design, too much of flowers can ruin the beauty. The trend now is simplicity and it works perfectly every time.
Notice the empty spot on the tray in the first one...I think one of the roses exploded!
Actually, that first cake would be pretty cool, if it weren't supposed to be something you eat. I mean, it'd make a good centerpiece. Anything other than a cake.
I don't know what I like more about today's post: the Monty Python and Princess Bride references, or the fact that not one, but two, cakes are sitting next to cheap beer.
@Linda - we agree that "Love-Lies-Bleeding" is a rather unfortunate chose for a wedding cake.
For the last cake, the guests used paintball guns to do the decorating.
Omg, I LOVE your book! It's hilarious and freaking GREAT to read when in a downer mood. I love this site too, so glad you decided to keep this around1 Kudos to you, Jen, and your husband! This site is awesome. :D!
I looked at this post with my three-year-old. When he saw the chocolate one, he said "There's another dirt castle!" and when I scrolled down to the pink duck cake, he actually took a quick step away from the computer with an alarmed expression on his little face!
I'm fairly certain the Keystone Light cake is crying. If not over the baker's lack of skills, then over the bridal party's poor taste in beer.
All these cakes cracked me up. And made me happy that I have been married for 20 years and back when I got married, you really didn't have much of a choice as to what your cake was going to look like other than big and smaill and how many teers it would have.
The only thing I like about the last cake is the the ruby duckies setting on top. But now I am wondering, Was it Ernie that got married?
That cake with silk flowers in bad colors to ensure that they're droopy.... I like that one. It looks very Tim Burton-esque. It's like the cake they would have in Corpse Bride or something.