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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jan042012

Start Talking, Mister

Don't you hate it when people trail off mid

And now the world may never know.

 

But on the plus side, the dress code is more casual.

(It was supposed to read pension. Making the baker a poet who didn't have any idea what was going on here.)

 

I'm going to make you find the problem with this next cake on your own. I won't tell you "why."

Although really, I don't see why Alex would need a whole book. Just get the man a Sharpie already! DONE.

[Insert link of relevance here.]

[You're welcome.]

 

Ever notice how the word "lives" sounds like the name "Liz?"

No?

Oh.

Then never mind.

Btw, have you seen the cake for this week's church social?

Liz, you have some SERIOUS 'splaining to do.

 

This is a "cookie bouquet" birth announcement, so I think I speak for us all when I say:

WELL I WOULD HOPE SO.

 

Thanks to Jamie C., Jennie C., Jessica W., Amy R., & Natasha N., who thinks we need more Target bags over here, stat.

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Reader Comments (44)

I happen to belong to The Church of Liz and I don't appreciate the fact that you're mocking my religion. WWLD

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

So, why would the dummies want Amy marred? It sounds painful. The handwriting on these wrecks seems above average. But the messages are...odd.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStaying Anon.

Prison.....three hots and a cot...the ideal retirement!

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

I so want to know the story behind cake #1. It just boggles...

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

Augh! With "Amy" and "Sharpie" I was looking for the Silence.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGretchen

1. Considering the baker was killed before finishing the cake, I'm guessing it was mostly "rage."
2. Bernie Madoff's "retirement" cake. It was actually supposed to say "Goodbye Pensions. Hello Prison."
3. A cake from his future Mother-in-Law, who thinks marrying that idiot Alex will ruin her precious Amy. (BTW, the google link is really cool.)
4.Knowing that slacker Carol would never remember to bring a dish to the Church Social, Liz brought an extra casserole and saved the day. (@SuBee -- LOVE your response...)
5. The Virgin Ann is the Matron Saint of the Church of Liz.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Aside from the verdict that marriage to Lucky Alex will mar Amy, the statement "You're a dummy. Amy is perfect for you!" doesn't strike me as the highest compliment one could pay Amy.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I presume "Marring" Amy comes after "Chasing" her for a while... O_o

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

i thought that retirement cake was for illinois' former governors

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranon

Bwahahahaha I cannot believe some of these XD XD

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

And I said unto thee, let there be wrecks. And they were good.

Forever Your Savior,
Liz

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLizzz

Hooray for a lmgtfy reference! I try to use that site as much as possible, but it only works with people who have a decent sense of humor. Unfortunately, that does not include many co-workers.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMay

This site never disappoints!
mocking

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermocking

Love the Google link!

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Slept in, showered, checked CW, laughed and laughed...all in all, a great start to my day! Thanks, Jen. Now off to do something productive with a day off. Wonder if it's too late to catch ornaments on sale and make balloons.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

Liz brings the donuts for the after-service collation. She is our savior.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

@ Lizzz--That's why we adore you.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

#2 Just what does the recipient do to relieve tension??

#3 "A reference for the rest of us"? How many husbands does Amy have?

#4 I call phone order. (See what I did, there?) Also reminds me of WAY too many school projects involving macaroni and white glue.

#5 Aww, a virgin birth. Too bad it has already been done. What really sells this, though, is the presentation. Not getting a good vibe regarding the wrapping of presents, but it's the thought that counts, right?

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I honestly don't know which I laughed at more, the cakes or the comments on here about the cakes!! This is why I love this site so freaking much.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa

Liz was perfectly happy about the pretty cake her worshippers had sacrificed in her Ikea-style ready-built temple... until she realised that the writing was tooth paste.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHisietari

The missing letter seems to be the least of the Dummies for Amy cake's problem. I see it's the first edition implying there will be future editions, that can't bode well. Lucky Alex indeed :P

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlen

I have to say, I love that even Google knew "marrying" was what was really trying to be spelled. I wonder if Google could get into making cakes, since they seem to want to do everything else...

I can see it now...

*pulls up GoogleCakes*
------- Hello, Dave. Shall We Bake A Cake?
--- Yes, Please
-------- What would you like the cake to say?
--- "Congrats", then underneath that "On your new job!"
-------- Okay. Here are the results based on the most searched for cakes:
*************** Congrats then underneat that Steve Jobs ***********************

Yup. Google could totally make some spectacular wrecks, this I'm sure of.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEternity

Oh. My. Heck.

Where's the proofer when you need him/her?

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonna K. Weaver

I originally thought cake #2 was a comment about retiring and spending more time with your spouse... what was once just tension... got a little more serious. :\

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDLou

Love hurts. Especially if you're Amy. On the other hand, she's quite tough; you need an entire guidebook just to figure out how to mar her.

I don't see what the big deal is with the first cake. The only issue is that the decorator wrote "Congrats" instead of "Candlej

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

absolutely uplifting!! :) this site makes my day!!
T-H-A-N-K Y-O-U!

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKT

But if Ann is Liz's mom, then both cakes make a lot more sense.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJ.P.

Obviously Amy is a polygamist- hence the need for a 'reference for the rest of us'... But what I really want to know is what was supposed to go on the empty sticks in the cookie bouquet? Maybe those cookies supposed to transfigure themselves...?

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLeeAnn

My mind = blown. Think i just found my new FB profile pic. Oh... you're welcome.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLizB

The Church of Liz cake really got me, new religions spring up all the time, don't they?

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMark

'Twas the year of love
until insufficient cake.
Then the year of rage.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

As a genuine Virginia Ann, I sympathize with that poor baby girl. She will have a lifetime of forms to fill out that will not let her put in her full name. On the other hand, there are far worse things than "Virgin" that can be done with my name. :)

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGinny

So could Alex be said to be chasing Amy? (Hope she runs fast...)

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

At the end of a long day, these works of "art" and your snarky comments SO hit the spot! Thanks.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

Does Liz know she got that big promotion?

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@Eternity you win the interwebs!! Really.
Now, I am going to have to watch something tonight to get Hal out of my mind...Hal dreams are just bad news.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I'm just hoping the last one is a wreck and not the poor child's actual name!

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCapt_Video

I'll bet "Our Savor Liz" tastes great.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJane

oh my liz ... the only dummie when it comes to the Amy cake is the decorater!!

Oh, that Liz. I hear she died for our "sins". Btw, I think icing that looks like Reddi-Wip is unforgivable, even by our most merciful Liz.

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarkM

#1: Even the lettering looks angry..

#3: Does Amy really know what she's getting in to?

* "1st Edition" (As opposed to "Repeat as needed"?)
* "Dummies" (Plural? Exactly how many people does Alex think he is anyway?)
* "The Rest of Us" (Oh, that explains the plural. Group marriage, anyone?)

#5: Just wait until "Virgin Ann" is a teenager and her friends find her baby pictures...

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

If the Church of Liz joined with the Church of Elvis, there would have to be a wedding cake ... oh, please please please please please.

January 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

"Congrats on a year of love and rage"...what in the world is up with that (and where's the despair and resentment to go with the rage?)

January 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSue M

Epic...i love the "Marring Amy" one...so evil >= )
MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

February 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

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