Kids These Days
January 20, 2012 Education can never start too early. Which is why I, for one, am happy to see all the things kids are learning from their birthday cakes. You know, things like....
...friendly hand gestures:
;)
And where Spider-Man's web comes from:
;)
Watch it go!
Then there are the helpful anatomy lessons:
;)
I think it's safe to say that Bailey really, REALLY enjoyed his Bar Mitzvah party.
Not to mention the legal drinking age:
;)
Hint: that's not it.
And perhaps the best life lesson of all: one of the hazards of mixing boobs with beer:
;)
Hey, it could be worse. You could be on 16 And Pregnant and be rewarded for your questionable life choices with money and fame.
There. Don't you feel better now?
Thanks to Sarah G., Anony M., Tanya G., M.M., and Jenae B. for the education.
Reader Comments (66)
Oh wow. Those are all terrible!
What's got into Barney?
They get points for neatness. Five points per star for the bottom one, in fact!
Oh yeah, Barney? I feel the same way about you!
I am just sitting here in a stupor, with my mouth slightly open. Seriously? Besides the Barney cake, who orders these cakes? Aaand there goes what was left of my faith in humanity.
Spider Man's web appears to be coming out of his appendix.
I always wondered what the appendix is for.
Are those areolae?
OMG.
That is all.
I don't want to be an alarmist, but judging from the lumpiness, Bailey's cake needs a mammogram, STAT.
I actually LOVE the Barney Cake, because that sums up my feelings for Barney perfectly. When my son was born, we declared the house a Barney Free Zone, and it has been strictly enforced. The only Barney song ever sung here has been:
We love you
You love us
Let's hit Barney
With a bus!
Let's look instead at how nicely these cakes are made. With a few minor adjustments they could go on the Sunday Sweets page. Try thinking of that?
Shame on you Spiderman!
There's a cake/party shop in our town with an unfortunate helium balloon of Spiderman that appears to have a large central appendage, string tied firmly to the end of his 'Spidey-senses' - seeing that cake, now I understand why, in order to prevent such outbursts!
It's true - most of these are relatively well done. They're just unfortunate.
I LOVE the expression on Barney's face - it really matches the hand gesture he seems to be giving.
Spiderman nearly had me on the floor laughing.
And yes, Coach, I do believe those are areolae. I thought the exact same thing.
OMG pretty much sums up the rest. Just...yeah...
@Sharyn LOL as for these cakes bahahaha some people really do have bad taste.
Spiderman kinda looks like he's sitting on building shaped toilet
♪♫Look out! Here comes the Spiderman...♪♫
Nip!
That really is a lot of plastic choking hazards on a cake for a two-year-old. And one smarmy Barney face. He looks like the lovechild of Grimace and The Fonz. (Are you all picturing that coupling now? My work here is done.)
Teenage cleavage cakes
Barney & Spidey - mad skllls
Bakers without sense
Okay I concur that these cakes aren't poorly made, just inappropriate content, PARTICULARLY the gratuitous nipple shot on Bailey's cake. I don't want to meet the 13 year old that asked for that cake. Let's hope it was a joke. Yeah, that's it, a sick "welcome to teenage-hood" joke. Yep, I see therapy in Bailey's future.
Spidey looks constipated!! :P
Spiderman not the first man to leave the web with sticky hands ;)
OMG - Can I tell you what makes it even funnier is that today is my oldest's 12th birthday??!!! Somehow I do NOT think I will be ordering him Bailey's cake style........... Holy heck, parents!!!!!!!!
Why does that 13 year old's cake have nipples? WHY???
Did you know US interrogators use "I Love You," as a futility torture device. Apparently listening to the song for prolonged periods of time causes a sense of hopelessness and depression. I'm sure there are parents out there that can attest to this! Apparently even Barney has had enough if the first Cake is anything to go by!!
@Sharyn, my house is a BFZ (Barney Free Zone) too! Woot!
Perhaps the cake with the dual nip slip was supposed to be 30th? We can live in hope anyway! (although, it really doesn't make it right that way either...geugh)
And I'm sorry, but in addition to the problems in front, given his squat, Spidey also appears to need some more fiber...
Mayhaps Bailey is a girl and got a boob job for her birthday?! Or, maybe Bailey wants a boob job, and ordered the cake his/herself to give the parents a hint?
On the 13th birthday cake, is there a bit of nip slip going on?
Concerned with the dangers of internet evil, an ever vigilant Spiderman uses his web browser to beat off crime....
mouth open in shock that these were cakes really ordered for actual people ! lol
The first two are funny mistakes. The others are just a symptom of failing humanity. UGH We are doomed....
See Ariel, even Barney thinks your parents are twits for naming you after a Disney princess....
Spiderman.... Confriming what I always thought.... Webs ejaculate from the midsection.....
I hope bailey is a boy.... If not that's definitely a future 16 and pregnant star with a large bill for court ordered therapy...
And whats so wrong with a 17th birthday party and baby shower....the cake above was from her 16th birthday the year before..... What do you think follows a bud light birthday???
It's Spiderman's hunched-over posture that makes it so darn creepy. -shudder- Eurrrrrgh. If he were sitting straight up I could think 'oh, what an unfortunate accident!' But - just ---- no.
(And the '5' behind him? I feel so, so ashamed for that kid's parents.)
Can't Bailey also be a girl's name? I guess all of Bailey's classmates really enjoyed her Bat Mitzvah party? >> I think that's supposed to be a corset, actually. The lacing (I hope that's what that is) under the... uh.... focal points of the cake implies a tightly wound dress.
We can all hope that the 16th and 17th birthday cakes were gags. Horrible, horrible, not-thought-out gags.
You gotta love the sheen on Spiderman's head. He's really working up a sweat.
Minor adjustments:
Omit sticky fluids, birds,
Bingo-ball nipples . . .
I assumed Bailey was a really well-developed 13 year old girl, in which case she is well on her way to getting that 17th birthday cake in 4 short years.
Oh, my! For every ONE of them! What are people thinking?
#1 Yo, Barney! Right back at ya, cuz.
#2 Hmm, a Spider-man cake. Moving right along...
#3 "That's quite an eye for detail you have there, Bevis." How is this ok if Bailey is a girl? An early bloomer, perhaps?
#4 [Irate parent on phone to bakery] "That's six, not sixteen, and 'Buzz Lightyear', not 'Bud Light beer'! Now, you can either eat this cake in the figurative sense and make another at no charge, or... you get the idea."
#5 There is really a show called '16 and Pregnant'? Why am I not surprised. One can only imagine what the tryouts are like...
Wait, wait wait.... You said that is Bailey's BAR mitzvah cake????? BAR MITZVAH??????? That's a very progressive synagogue!!!!! Woah!!!!!!
I'm going to put a damp cloth over my eyes and contemplate what the world is coming to.
Barney says "I got your cake right here!"
@Craig: Yes, there really is a show called "16 and Pregnant." It's on...wait for it....MTV.
After seeing Bailey's cake, all I can think about is Blazing Saddles: "Think of your secretary..."
Oh my!
Perhaps Bailey is a leap-year baby? We'll be celebrating a friend's 14th brithday this year, and we graduated college in the late '70s. I know he'd love that cake.
Really? Nipples n all there. Wow
I know baileys mum, and bailey I can confirm he's a boy, there was a lovely companion shot of the chubby bespectacled birthday boy complete with acne biting off a nipple!
The mothers response- "when I ordered it I made sure they weren't bigger than mine!"
Wow, I think I can see the Epcots peeping out of that Bailey cake.
Most of these are disturbing because of the intended age of the recipient, but I have to give MAD PROPS to Barney's cakemaker, because that looks like real icing! Not fondant! I love fondant's look, but who can live without buttercream?!?!
Barney is a dinosaur from your imagination and Barney is responsible for my incarceration. Because I killed him. Actually, it was a double homicide. I took Caillou down with him!
o.O I saw Spidey and thought “splat.” Not in a good way.
And the colors are wrong on “he-who-shall-not-be-named.” Back in the early ‘90s, I decorated so many dang dinos in puke purple and “gangreen” that I threatened to quit. My boss started assigning them to others. I got really, really testy.
I giggle/snorted that Ariel wanted a dino cake!
@ Haiku Joy I scare the dog when I laugh that hard. Just sayin’.
@ Craig I know people who drink Bud Light beer and I'm now gonna call it Buzz Lightyear. Maybe they'll get it and maybe they won't but I'll be happier.
@Trish: Any court in the land should have called that justifiable homicide. (I'd have added Dora, for the hat trick.)
Cakes are supposed to be bad for your health, but laughter is the best medicine!
I wonder if DSS ever gets involved based on reports of abuse as evidenced by birthday cake shots. Perhaps they should.