Monday
May232011
Tae Kwon "DO'H!"
May 23, 2011 Approach, students.
You have come to me asking that I be your guide along this tale of Wreckage, but first I should mention that little Kyle here is taking Tae Kwon Do:
I should also probably stop calling him "little" Kyle.
After all, he could be earning his "Black Blet:"
(Presumably by doing step aerobics.)
Or, he might look like this:
(And wouldn't that be a boot to the head?)Or - OR - he might know 6-year-old Mercedes here:
And, shoot, that's one little pistol I aim to avoid.(I hear she's got a hair-trigger temper.)
Thanks to Heather H., Heather D., Liz M., and Kelsey E., for today's round of bullet points. Now, let us rejoin the mind to the body and meditate upon this wisdom.
Nyaa nyaa!
Reader Comments (72)
Please tell me that I'm not the only one who sees a red-headed Elvis in that third cake.
=^@.@^=
I kind of like the stick figure on the first one. At least it's somewhat cute, which isn't something I can say about most wrecks. And it makes me glad the wreckerator didn't even try a more human-like form.
Was the 6-year-old girl's supposed to have gum on it instead? Please, please let there be a major order mix-up like that in the backstory.
Yes, I see the Elvis!! Gosh, where do these bakers exist? I look and look and look and the most excitement I find is one of our grocery stores is making the furry dogs(small so they must be Pekingese!). I live in the Midwest so we must be better spellers or else I am just not exposed to enough cakes!!
mollymcpaws
There just has to be a back story to that gun cake.
The borders on that third cake look like bicycle chain to me. Not sure what exactly they were going for there.
i LOVE the stick figure on that first cake!!!
Ah, the art of Tae Kwon Leap! Which one of these is Ed Gruberman's cake?
Poor Elvis cake; they ran out of squiggles before finishing the trim work on the front(a space reserved for a plaque of some sort?)
Crap; I just made the mistake of zooming in on the face, and now I have to amend my assessment of the figure from looking like Elvis to looking like my sister-in-law.
Shoot, this isn't a very auspicious start to my day.
=^e.e^=
On the positive side, I don't see a single sprinkle or a morsel of plastic detritus on today's cakes!
@Carol Lee,
Yay! I knew I wasn't alone on that...
Now, could you possibly know my sister-in-law?
Never mind...
>^=.=^<
Jen!!!
I have a new favorite thing to replay in my head, over&over&over, and I just adore the premise!
BTTH!
Thanks!
=^~.~^=
Not-So-Little Kyle seems to be very, VERY excited that it's his birthday.
No lie- the trailer for the new book creeped me out.
Okay, so we already knew you have some serious geek cred but *how* did you find out about the Frantics? I always think of them as one of those great Canadian secrets, like poutine.
I thought for sure that the second cake, the "Black Blit" cake was in honor of a Zombie event. Maybe even dancing the Monster Mash!
Okay, okay. If you wanna teach little Mercedes how to hunt, that is one thing. But three handguns, a grenade, a pump shotgun and two bullets that could vaporize a tank?? Isn't that...overkill? [insert pun groan here]
But wouldn't her little hands shake too much to hold the Glock steady after eating all the sugar in that cake?
Or maybe she's getting ready to dispatch the adorable stick figure in cake #1 á la "Stick Figure Death Theater".
The mind boggles.
I'm sure it's not what the buyer asked for, but the first stick figure cake is actually really cute! (Of course I'd also probably pissed if I paid for a "professionally" decorated cake and got a stick figure that even I could have drawn myself. But still, cute!)
Ah. Ed Gruberman... if you don't know him... then you ARE him. *Boot to the head*
I think Mercedes' cake is beautiful! She is a wonderful, bright, charming, beautiful, gifted little girl!!! And her parents? Goodness, they are just the loveliest people. Even though I never met them,I'm sure of that. Really very nice and good. Happy, happy birthday, Mercedes!!!! Enjoy your very special day!
Whew...
@flying gargoyle:
I agree with you! Way too much stuff there; the little twerp could take on a Brinks all by herself!
But I have a theory: Mercedes is a BOY.
Now, it kind of makes sense, doesn't it? In a red-necky, Boy Named Sue kind of way? Hmm?
=^u.u^=
I used to play that song for my students. One of the kids loved it so much that all I had to say was, "Boot to the head," and he would do the entire song. It was awesome.
Woohoo! Frantics reference!! Well that just made my day.
Guess there was enough fire power on Mercedes' cake that they didn't need to add candles. Or maybe they were afraid to. (A grenade? Really?)
What the...can't comprehend logic.. brain broke O_o
The writing on Mercedes' cake is beautiful. But I just have to know....what did the order on the cake?
If you mix the filling in little Mercedes' cake with water and a little mustard, it makes a high explosive. What a lucky little guerrilla -- I mean, girl.
WV: vicardys -- I'm living vicardysly through cake wrecks.
Mercedes' cake is reminding me of Priscilla, the little rat-girl in "Rango" who carries a pair of guns in her lunchbox. "Can I gut-shoot someone?"
Seriously, Guns on a 6 year old's cake????
I would totally give my six-year-old that cake. Just sayin'. XD
Oh dear, numbers 1 and 2 remind me of a very bad Rocketts performance kicking tiredly to Ravell's Bolero. I still have nightmares from that. Norine
That first cake makes my head hurt.
Point of order on the gun cake: I fired my first weapon when I was five. I think it's cool.
WV: Legan - Bakers, use the handy-dandy StikGuy(tm). His lower appendages can be both a legan... Um... Well... Use your imagination, bakers!
Wonder if the Mercades cake is an appreciation of Tennessee William's quote,
"A dream is not a very safe thing to be near... I know; I had one once. It's like a loaded pistol with a hair trigger: if it stays alive long enough, somebody is going to be hurt. But if it's a good dream, it's worth it."
Mocking
In honor of Kyle, today I'm wearing a black blet...
wv - orcoc: that could be Kyle's leg....
My mind must not be sufficiently in the gutter because it took me a while to figure out why you shouldn't be calling Kyle little.
Hee! I immediately thought of Elvis, too! If the belt was just a smidge more sparkly....
Okay, so I'm wondering what was ordered for Mercedes....cuz all the weapons look pretty well done..... Okay, so if they ordered something that sounds like guns.....maybe she's really into history and they were supposed to be Huns....Or maybe she likes parasols but she got an arsenal? Or maybe Mercedes is actually 60.
Andrea
Blet?
I think guns on a 6 year olds cake is wrong. Mercedes might understand the dangers of guns, but what about the other young guests.
Ah Grasshopper, well done
My Spidey Sense is tingling...
Andrea
Mercedes' cake is just another example of today's overindulged children. What does this little girl have to look forward too? In my day, the grenade was saved for the 10th birthday. And you certainly didn't get three guns and a rifle when you only six.
My Daddy taught me to wait until teenage years before before amassing an arsenal:-)
Totally sporting a CN Tower for you right now. I may even you-know-what-a-piece-of-pie.
@ Mel - hilarious use of your WV :)
Bwaaahaha! Boot to the head! Tai kwon Leap! Love it!
I am trying to figure out how to pull the "trigger" on the top left corner of the last cake... Would probably need one crazily double jointed finger!!!
OW! You bleted me in the head!!
wv: wormeses - Nobody likes us, Precious...we must go eat wormeses.
didn't know Carrot Top took karate! Those are awesome wrecks!!!!
I think that last cake isn't really for a 6 year old girl. I think that's just a cover up and they're smuggling something sinister to someone really stupid and needed a way to identify the cake.
What. The. Hell. A black belt penis, redheaded Elvis and 6yr old assassin cake. Yeah, what I said at the beginning...
Ah, who disturbs our meditation, as a pebble disturbs the stillness of the pond?
Mmm, Pepto-Bismol and Aqua-Fresh... this is what happens when you wait until the last minute and have to finish a project with whatever is handy in the medicine cabinet. We can only hope that the interior wasn't chocolate Ex-Lax based. Is the empty spot actually on the cake or just a blur after the fact to protect the innocent?
@Sharyn:
"What a lucky little guerrilla -- I mean, girl."
LOL to the Nth degree--love it.
=^n.n^=
Anonymous 12:34:
"Or maybe Mercedes is actually 60."
Your point being...???
Look, I'M 60, and even I don't require THAT many weapons...sheesh.
What IS this world coming to.
=^-.-^=
P.S.--still say Merc is a boy.
Maybe Mercedes asked for "gems" instead of guns?