Thursday
Feb102011
To Bee Or Not To Bee
February 10, 2011 As we get closer to Valentine's day, the amount of animal puns on pastry increase exponentially. "I love ewe," "Can't bear to live without you," etc, etc.
The only problem is, many bakers don't understand puns. So, I've assembled this handy primer to help them out.
And also so we can laugh at them.
But that goes without saying.
*************
Alright, bakers, today we're going to cover the most basic Valentine's pun there is: "Bee Mine." The trick here is to write "Bee Mine" and accompany it with a bee. Got that? Good.
Now you try.
No, no; see, you got the bees right, but your "be" needs another "e," you see?Try again.
Good, good, but let's try to get the bee back in there, ok?
*sigh*
No.
[massaging temples]
No.
That's just a dead bee.
What the...? What does that even mean? NO!
Now you're just screwing with me.
Fine. I'll take it.Thanks to Katie G., Saera D., Megan I., Sarah Beth J., Sarah M., Eleanor S., Courtney A., & Laura A., who think some-bunny made that doggone foxy bee a little too hare-raising.
Reader Comments (81)
Oh dear...
'Cuz, you know, nothing says 'love like the word 'mine' and a flying penis. Bonus points for that i can only assume is a yellow pinstriped condom on it.
Nobody knows the difference between be, bee, and bi?
I weep for my country.
I think my favorite is the 'Mee' - why I wish people had 'spellcheck.'
Ok, You've got me laughing out loud again at the office.
The dead bee and Bi (was this intened to hint that the giver wants some bi-sex on Vday?) But the penis bee with the striped condom... OMG I just can't stop laughing.
thank you cw!
I kind of like the last one. He looks like a comma, or at least a comma as it would look if I tried to put one on a cake...
That last one... "Worm mine?" 'Cause honey, that ain't no bee!
Oh, and I love the irony of having the two hears next to each other, one right, one wrong.
"Bi Mine" would make sense as a pun if your switch-hitting sweetie swings both ways, so to speak.
I know that 500 Epcots are going to say this today, but maybe I'll be the first.
... Whoops, no, Sandy C beat me to it before I could hit "Publish Your Comment."
The dead bee made me laugh even before I read the caption. It just looks so... squashed.
WV: trate. Wreckerators' misspellings of cliches are just so trate.
No, no; see,
you got the bee
but your "be" needs an "e,"
you see?
A little quick editing on my part and you've written a lovely poem.
Nothin' says "love" like a flaccid bee...
The last cake brings to mind an old joke-"is that a banana in your pocket....?"
wv: failie - anyone of these cakes could be a fail-ee! LOL.
I sort of like the half-dead, pirate butterflybee--he's jaunty
Trevor,
I looked and looked for two "hears." Thought you meant bears and I missed something.
Mary Connealy<
You may well be the Dr. Seuss of Cake!
oh lordy, don't know where to bee-gin.
A "bee mine" is where bees are dug out of the ground. Most of the best lodes are in countries with poor work-safety regulation, and the miners work in appalling conditions for very low wages. Even these lodes are starting to play out, leading to the current worldwide bee shortage.
penis bees....my favorite kind
Bwahahahahah Bi-mine.... priceless cakes... *slapping head and in my homer simpson voice *doh*
"Banana w/ tumorous growth mine"?!
I don't think that "dead" bee is quite dead yet. He appears to be cursing at whatever whacked him!
I thought that last one was trying to say, "That herpes-infected member wearing a stetson? That's mine!"
It's really a sweet sentiment if you think about it. For a guy to know his gal still loves him and his parts despite his sores and cowboy fetish.
Thank you Cake Wrecks for always making me smile, even when I'm down.
@Gary -- so also to / too / two, except that all three of those are words, where 'bi' is not. Well, not really. Really not going there.
@Caroline -- it's the cakes that need a spellchecker. Of course, then we would just see a lot of cakes with words that have a squiggly red underline.
If one has never seen a live bee (I suppose that could be possible, these days), a flying banana is... still from Mars.
I never knew there were so many forms of 'bee'.
Is slimey dead? He has wings now?
mocking
first I want a large "Bee mine" and underneath that I want sprinkles...
I think that last "bee" look more like the handle of an umbrella, than a bee or a comma, or a you-know-what
or better yet could you write "Bee mine with sprinkles?"
"Bi mine"?
{thinking}
"BI mine"?
{rubbing forehead}
"BI MINE"?
Excuse me while I lay down on my fainting couch with a cold compress and a cocktail to recover.
By "Bi" they were referring to the Korean popstar. It is pronounced the same as "bee" and means "rain". And if you think I'm serious, think again (although the facts are true).
I'm pretty sure that last one actually says "Banana slug mine".
that winking four legged dead bee freaks me out! and Bi Mine? is that some sort of "swings both ways" reference??
Kiss Mee sounds like someone's begging for a smooch!
that last shocked-looking bee looks like a phallic symbol. "(phallic symbol) mine"--is it a guy advertising his wares? now the white heart dripping down its back is freaking me out. put some legs on that thing, wreckerator! it is NOT looking like a bee...
I thought the last one was a sperm. "Sperm Mine"
That last one makes me want to wish someone a Happy VD Day
Thanks for always making me laugh.
Bought your book and it was delivered today, awesome!
ROFLMAO @ "That's just a dead bee." Thank you for always making me laugh. Out loud. At my desk.
a smirking, winking, spread-eagle bee. ok. *sigh* Yeah, my appetite's dead.
I laughed really, really hard at "That's just a dead bee".
I think I just cracked a rib from holding in my laughter at work.
My favorite is "that's just a dead bee". Haahahahahaahahhaaahahaaha, haaha, haaha. Hahaahhaaha. Haha. ha. Okay I'm done. Hahaha. Heehee. Okay, really. I'm done.
Andrea
Bi Mine absolutely cracked me up--I woke my sleeping child lol
I would like to point out that the dead bee's stinger is...well, let's say delicately placed.
Why am I only reading this blog now! It's brilliant. I especially can't wait for more Valentine's cakes to come up. The cheesiest day of the year has to produce some of the best cakes.
@Joel--Bwa-ha-ha-ha!! I love it!
Kat
wv-lusser. Which is the lusser of two evils: bi-mine or kiss mee?
BI MINE has some meaning to it if you mix languages. In Mongolian 'BI' is I, the first person pronoun. So if you mix Mongolian & English, you have a very self-centered, prideful individual because their cake reads "I, MINE." Don't think they are getting a date for Valentine's Day!
Shocked-looking-overripe-banana-penis-with-fungus mine? What a lovely message.
And the dead bee answers the question Walter Brennan's character keeps asking in To Have and Have Not. Whoever paid for that thing got stung!
Cake 1: Shame, nice icing-manship.
Cake 2: BEE my ValentiNE. Say that with emphasis on the letters in caps. Sounds silly doesn't it? I'd run the other way!
Cake 3: This bee looks like he's laying on a couch trying to look all sexy with his stinger hanging out.
Cake 4: The bee *was* there, it just flew away after getting the pollen from the flowers.
Cake 5: That's just a dead bee. ROTFLMBO! I see Mr. Peanut with a striped shirt and butterfly wings.
Cake 6: Maybe it's for a computer geek? Bi-nary?
Cake 7: It would have been slightly funnier if they were switched - "Kiss Me. Kiss Mee." Kinda like what jo said - they're beggin' for a smooch.
Cake 8: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Talk about the birds & the *bees*!
wv: cemat: When frosting sets out too long and gets hard (not like that!).
I am truly afraid of what the Bi Mine was getting at... not that I'm judging, I just don't swing that way with my pastries
How hard is it too draw a good bee on a cake and write "Bee Mine" on it? I'm not asking for a perfect bee, either. Heck, it can even be squashed like that dead one (I have to point out, that one's a cupcake cake [shudder]!). I just wish people could get it right for once. Sigh... I have forgotten what a GOOD "Bee Mine" cake actually looks like. The dead one is super sad, too, 'cause they didn't even try to write "Bee Mine" on it. They just stuck a little plastic pick on it!
-B
"Flying Penis Mine"? I don't get it :)
Damn, I am laughing at loud at my desk (again!)
OH that was hilarious, your comments make me giggle so much :)
That dead bee is creepy. Bi? That just makes me laugh. As for the last one that is the strangest looking bee I've ever seen since it looks more like a flying penis or maybe a flying worm.
Maybe the Bi one has something to do with getting a threesome as a Valentine's gift.
the ones with no bee are spelled with bee, and the ones with a bee are spelled be, why? LOL!
Okay, this is my favorite post of the week. The commentary is spot on. Well done, Wreckwranglers, well done.
Oh, man. I have the PERFECT picture for this, and I CAN'T FIND IT. It's a cookie at Target, and it's iced to read "BE MNE".