The Magical Story of Labor Day
September 6, 2010 Ah, Labor Day. A day when we celebrate labor and all of its laborious labors.
And who among us hasn't labored over laborious labors at some point in our labors? Heck, you may be laboring right now! You might even be IN labor! And that's the labor regarding which I have begun to labor over this post. Laboriously. And from a guy's point of view.*
(*Bearing in mind that, since I AM a guy, I've never had to bear children myself - laboriously or otherwise.)
...when BLAM!, some dude comes along and gets all up in your business!
Okay, that came out wrong.
The point is: you're pregnant. And now your belly looks like this:
Or, if you're of the clothing persuasion, like this:
Because pregnant ladies like to carry baby gherkins in their underwear.You know, weird cravings and all that.
In the worst way.
"Aw! Just lookit that teensy tiny baby! I bet that didn't hurt a bit!"
Only, you know, more goopiness, screaming, nudity, and the doctor's skin under your fingernails. Really, it's kinda like a SAW movie, except you can't sleep afterward because there's an unfamiliar person screeching in your room, as opposed to just in your nightmares.And then, after all that hard labor, you have a beautiful baby:
Who may or may not kill you in your sleep.I mean, probably not, but there's really no guarantee.
So anyway, good luck with that, and happy Labor Day!
Meredith, Stephanie A., Anony M., Gina R., Stephen, Ginn, & Julie W., may your labors never be in vain. Or in cake, for that matter.
Reader Comments (96)
I can honestly say that these are the most horrific cakes I've seen on here. But to me, any body, birth, or baby cake is generally creepy.
In number 4, are those little black squiggly lines supposed to be stretch marks?? In addition to the horror that is already that cake, they felt the need to include stretch marks?? Jerks.
That last baby is SO scary.
OMG, I just laughed so hard I almost went into labor! And I'm not even pregnant!
Hahahahahaha!
As someone who doesn't have and never wants kids, I agree with and fully enjoyed this post. Also, yeah, that last cake will give me nightmares...
wv: laugha -- It'sa me, Mario! I'ma laugha ata this post! :D
Connor's cake was almost a respectable way to do a pregrant-belly cake -- nice flowers, too. Then they had to go and add the tiny figurine....
WV: deferven: It is deferven wish of the oublic that decorators stop making scary pregant-belly cakes.
Thank you John so much for the flashbacks! I can't tell you just how much I appreciate your thoughtfulness! *stomps off, flailing arms, muttering about psychiatrists, PTSD and drugs*
What's with that last one--the baby looks like it is crawling out of a drum, with its feet where its hands should be. Yikes! I wouldn't sleep in the same room with that, or eat it either.
And the pancaked Casper the Ghost giving birth?? Is that supposed to be a person?
Will show this to my teenage daughter. If this isn't effective birth control, I don't know what is. Gahhhhh!
If I laugh any harder, I'll be laboring too hard, thus negating the point of having work off on Labor Day. Must...stop...reading! :D
Ahhh, the little blessings of infertility. I'm gonna squeeze my adopted kids a little tighter today.
oh man that was just too funny!
It is just so hard to believe that there are so many wrecks out there.
omg! This post needs a warning! hahahahahaahahahahaaha
WTF?!where are people getting their cake ideas from
In my defense, I did not know it was Labor Day when I was born on Labor Day. *grin*
If I knew then what I know now, I'd totally have tried to wait until Tuesday.
Boy, I wish I had grill marks on MY stomach like lady #1. (Shakes head sadly.)
Word verification: catump, which is the arbiter in a feline baseball game.
I liked the "Welcome Connor" cake at first glance. At my second glance I still liked it if I held my hand over the place on the screen where the toy was. :P
Psycho-baby got me...lol too funny, thanks for the giggles this morning.
I'm with JelliDonut -- This is one of the best forms of birth control I've ever seen.
I'm pregnant....and this is going to give me all sorts of nightmares... And concerns about the kind of cake that may be awaiting me at upcoming baby showers!
Is it just me or did the cake with the arms and legs sticking out give y'all Alien® flashbacks?
OK, Am I the only person who thought of "Alien" when reading this post!
Nope, there's one just at the end there! Phew!
PS There may be a whole lot more of us by the time this get's posted. But, so far, there's only 1!
love it! though as a pregnant reader, I had to wonder if all these blog-induced belly-laughs are "safe". I guess they'd better be, because I can't stop reading!!
Oh my...this are the most horrific baby shower cakes ever!
Wait: picture #4, the one with the doll parts: it's from Breaking Dawn, isn't it??? It needs more blood, though...
Way to "belabor" the point, John! ;)
Being in my second trimester, I found that censored cake to be positively the most horrifying sight of my pregnancy. And maybe my life.
Now all I have left to do is pray that my showers will be cake-less. Which is one of the saddest things I've ever wished for.
As someone without kids, and still debating whether to have or adopt them, this post is a definite "Check" in the "Pro" column for Adoption! LOL
wv: degam - Degam wreckerators are at it again!
HILARIOUS!! And frightening...oh so very frightening.
Gotta say I'm longing for a link to the black boxed cake in all it's naked glory. I understand that we're staying more family friendly here but I'm curious.
Holy. Crap.
Now in cake number 5 is that supposed to be a blanket draped over the pregnant woman. Please tell me it's a blanket and not some hideous 'oh no my skin is peeling off in large sheets' side effect of pregnancy?
And if it is a blanket, where does one get these oddly anatomically shaped blankets?
imagaine if babies where born that small ...
All I can say is that I am sooooooooooooo thankful the hosts of my baby shower went with a basic grocery store bakery cake decorated with a Winnie the Pooh scene, complete with plastic characters stuck on top of it...
I am soooooooooo glad that when I had my children NO ONE dared to make cakes like those shown on here....These make me want to NOT eat cake again! Especially seeing the one with the baby coming out of the person that was covered....seriously?!?!? Who would want that at a baby shower? LOL!
I'm with WifeOSeth -- creepiest ever. Who thought making any of these was a good idea?
CW3: a cross-dresser who was just, uh, "excited" to see you? seriously....
and CW4: a snowwoman giving birth?
I long for the days when nudity and pregnant bellies were shameful, and we all just celebrated with sheet cakes. Nice, easy, plain, square sheet cakes.
I don't understand the 4th one, but it scares me.
oh my what a post LOL I loved it . In 2008 my daughter did go through labor on labor day for 20+ hours delivering a nearly 10 lb baby so maybe that is why I loved reading this post
I'm pregnant, second trimester (When's your due date, M. Muenster?) and have had at least one freaky pregnancy dream a night since the middle of my first trimester. These cakes...sure as heck aren't gonna help that! ._o
WV: ferst, as in "Won't be my ferst cake-related nightmare, probably won't be my last either..."
Besides the obvious weirdness of these cakes, I have to ask, WHY???
Why would anyone think that at a baby shower, it might be a pleasant thing to take a big knife and cut into a pregnant belly??? Dear God that's disturbing.
It might kill you in your sleep... IF it had hands. And a torso.
Cakes 3 and 5 would have been so much lovelier without the belly button penis and the tiny baby, respectively.
It's a good thing I chose not to have children. I shudder to think at what monstrosity someone may have come up with for my shower!
Your site severely makes me laugh out loud. I think I particularly enjoy it because I've made a wreck or two myself. I love it! Keep em coming.
Funny - after my 9 hours of labor - the next day (or same day) was when my mother introduced me to Cake Wrecks, the book. I was laughing so hard that it hurt "down there." I finally had to stop reading because I was in pain!
Sooo, whatever happened to sweet baby cakes with alphabet blocks, baby booties or rattles?
Heaven help me, but if I was still having kids I'd ban any cakes from a shower/birth/whatever!
~~Di
The censored cake must have been pretty graphic, judging by what's peeking around the edges of the black bar. So what's up with the Mr. Bill facial features? I gave birth twice and I can say from experience that a falsetto "Oh Noooooooooooooo!" doesn't really sum things up.
This has to be one of the scariest posts I've ever seen on here... and not just because I'm a single girl and the idea of pregnancy and labor currently freaks me out.
But seriously... I couldn't wait to get on cake wrecks today to see what "Labor Day" would wrought... and you did not disappoint. Great post. :)
I also have to wonder if there's a link to the real version of that black bar cake.
The random limbs shoved into the belly are too funny. I can only hope that was meant to be funny.
When I was pregnant my daughter kept trying to push herself out the side. Others could see the lump moving from across the room. My RPG buddies started pointing to it and calling, "SHARK!"
To Drawn to Caricature: no, no you are not the only one who thought "Alien". But I'm the kind of person who deliberately makes Alien in cake, so I thought I was the only one. :D
Gross and ew!!!!!
What ever happened to teddy bears or duckys or even regular pink or blue sprinkles.
@Tarri: I think it's supposed to be a dress?