Thursday
Sep302010
Cake Secrets
September 30, 2010 "My boss made me sweep the floor, even though I didn't make the mess. So I swept up, and then made her a special cake...
"...which somehow got set out for sale.""You know that third time I asked you to spell 'congratulation' for me?
"I was totally messing with you."
"My watch is in there.""Sometimes I like to draw vaguely obscene things on cakes...
"...and then tell your kids they're Oompa Loompas."
"I've never seen Star Wars.""I told you it was a grill, but to be honest...
"I don't know what this is, either."Oh, and I licked the spoon."
"I really, really, REALLY....
"...don't like kids.""I told my managers it'll never happen again, but...
"...wait'll they see where I put Snow White!"Oh, and if you guys like Post Secret, check out Frank's tour schedule; he may be coming to a city near you!
Reader Comments (143)
I love Cinderella as a T. Rex jockey! Very creative =).
These "secrets" are so much better than the PostSecret secrets (most of which seem self-indulgent, mean, or pointless to me).
I really want to know where Snow White is.
Interesting that the glass is "non-glare" on the display case in picture #7. Elmo already looks positively EVIL!
Shoes and bottles of nail polish on a cake. What a ... good idea.
Why.....
is there a cookie on Oscar's head.
http://arguingwithadoughnut.blogspot.com" rel="nofollow">http://arguingwithadoughnut.blogspot.com/
I am incredibly offended by that fourth cake. I don't know what it is but I know pornography when I see it. I'm sorry, but I will NOT read this blog again...
until this afternoon.
I must say that I really, really, really want an allegorical "Sleeping Beauty Conquers T-Rex" cake for my birthday. Aurora seems to symbolize the growing power of women to control their emotions. Or perhaps it's trying to tell us that there is strength in beauty.
At any rate, it touches something deep within me.
OMG! It's Cinderella, NOT Sleeping Beauty!! Damn, that cake is meaningless!
The Cinderella cake is awesome!
Putting the cookie on Oscar the Grouch's head instead of Cookie Monster's just adds to the confusion. And is the yellow one supposed to be Big Bird?
Aside from the fact that my retinas are burning from the sheer volume of flotsam on most of those cakes, I am also keenly aware of the fact that my nerdiness is showing. Here's a flash of it...close your eyes if you're squeamish...
That "Darth Vader" cake looks like http://www.cinemastrikesback.com/news/new%20dailies/Krull/krull2-1024.jpg" rel="nofollow">The Beast from Krull.
The second cake is all wrong! It should obviously say, "It a byo!" :D
Word verification is "hoing." Take it from there... ;)
1. I see ice cream cones and... bits of egg? Olives? Whatever they are, they do not belong on a cake.
2. Whadya wanna bet they misspelled the doctor's name, too?
3. Wouldn't be so bad if more of it were edible. But I don't want to think of nail polish when eating.
4. I've looked at this from several angles and still haven't the faintest idea what it's supposed to be.
5. This might be an obscure character or a lawyer-friendly imitation. Okay design, but still not an appetizing color.
6. Seeing this right after the SW reference, I thought the brown thing in the upper left might be a Jawa. Maybe the rest of the cake represents some little-remembered floating platform.
7. I think the baker has anger management issues.
8. There was a "Dinosaurs" episode with the story of Cinderellasaurus, but... hmm, maybe it is a dream come true.
Where is Snow White anyway? The world may never know.
Great post today, as usual!
I'm still wondering what that vaguely obscene "Oompla Loompa" cake is even supposed to be....
I think the "Cinderella Taming T-REX" cake would have been awesome, if it hadn't been more plastic than cake!
I actually kind of love the T-Rex and princess one.
crying laughing. :)
What is #4 supposed to be? Because... yeah. Is this where I'm supposed to flounce?
wv:menderpe -- I probably shouldn't come up with a definition for that.
I am filled with sadness and horror. And a few chuckles...
Lol at the freaky-ass cupcakes and not liking kids. They mustn't, right?
(I just used the word mustn't.. does ANYONE ever do that any more?)
And I'm with Elissa - used to love PS, but now it is just disturbing or unsettling. Just MHO.
LMAO! A Little People Noah is on the tower!!! I betcha it's full of lead.
Are those Snow White's intestines strewn about artfully?
and @SuBee...AHAHAHAHA!
WV: conesing - the technique of adding random ice cream cones to a cake
Did anyone else notice that, on the four glaring heads picture, there is a sticker that says GLARE-FREE GLASS?? Irony? Yes, I think so.
Little known fact about Cookie Monster: NOT a fan of Oreos.
Angry Elmo says: Yeah, Elmo loves his Goldfish! His Crayon, too. Don't think Elmo won't cut you!
Pardon my ignorance, but what is "Bettercreme"?
I am still pondering the 4th cake- 30 minutes later. Um,... No clue - nada - ziltch. I mean, I see what I think I see, but can't justify it in my receptors that female parts are really what they were meant to be. Anyone have ANY other POSSIBLE explanation for that cake? Anyone? My sanity may be on the line here....
BEST spelling of congratulations EVER!!! Just makes it that much richer that it was for a Doctor. The flowers were pretty, though.
And I must be really slow today because I didn't identify those four colorful blobs as Sesame Street characters. I'll blame the rain.
another vote for Cinderella riding a T Rex!
It is a shame that someone's intestines got spilled all over the CinderellaRex cake!
#3 - while cotton balls don't actually grow on vines, i admire their natural fiber content choice
I laughed out loud at some of your commentary today. And the vaguely obscene one? You have a dirtier mind than I! I can't figure out WHAT it was supposed to be.
PS. I think you should be guest judges on Top Chef Just Desserts.
This was very fun! LOVE the Cinderella one!!!
I'm surprised that there hasn't been any mention of the entrails on the Cinderella cake. Oh, wait! That's where Snow White is!
WV: nonis - Web blogs - nonis as good as Cake Wrecks!
Non Glaring glass. I'm rolling here.
And the NC-18 cake, wow. Which STD caused all the dots?
I have to say, I find the last cake hilarious, and not in the "OMG it's so awful it's funny!" way as with most of these cakes. If I wasn't skeptical about the cake to plastic ratio, I would totally be bothering my husband to get me one for my birthday.
What I really love is the way it says "non-glare glass" right in front of all the glaring little heads!!!
*giggles* I guess monsters can't read since it does say non-glare glass!!!!
Cinderella + T-Rex = Frakin' Awesome!
The obscene cake reminds me of a Phillis Diller joke - I went to the doctor because I kept feeling a pain in my left boob. It ended up being my trick knee.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one that wants that Cinderella/T-rex cake! That, and I sorta wanna hang out with the decorator :)
To Milk Maid:
Bettercream contains no butter! It's made without cream!! It lasts forever and will never, ever go bad. It simply is better.
Also, you can use it to grout your bathroom tiles.
#6: I wasn't thinking dismembered muppet heads, I was thinking PacMan ghosts, and someone tried to give each one a distinct personality.
[The non-glare glass totally works--it's a very clear shot. But it's only for displaying food? Do they have problems with people cleaning food cases with sludge? Glass is one of the most impervious materials around--what KIND of 'cleaning' solution would damage it?!]
#7 What happened? Ariel's display-only cake is more-or-less appropriate, barring the Noah/Triton confusion and the fact that it's Primarily Plastic Parts. Were they attempting to depict lava flows? Volcanism and dinosaurs aren't exactly related, but it's a better connection than Renaissance princesses.
I think the cookie is supposed to be the garbage can lid....but I may be reaching. The obscene cake boggles my mind, I can't figure it out!
Just when I think you can't make me love you any more, you combine my weekly guilty pleasure with my daily one! Cake Wrecks *and* Post Secret? You just turned an in-law drama day into a B.A.D. day! <3
WV- Chotskin: The spotty condition plaguing the obscurely obscene cake.
I LOVE the last cake. I get so tired of watching female Disney characters wait around for a man to take charge and fix the situation. Now THAT's a Cinderella who is taking charge!
CONCRALLRTIONS? Seriously, is that the best stab you can take for CONGRATULATIONS?
#4 - My first reaction was like yours; indecent at best. After much consideration, I'm thinking maybe it is a comet and 2 shooting stars with more stars speckled in the background???
Wow, what a fantastic collection of cakery gone wrong. Elmo's actually more pissed than oscar!! And why does big bird have m&m's on his head?
(To quote my husband: Is that all you got out of that?)
The Cinderella cake was cool!! The "female parts" cake was gross~why BROWN? Don't they know we are ALL pink in the middle?!
I think they need to go to the Automatic Confessional!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgmQM9cDPHk
Thank God that last cake is "For Display Only"--the childhood nightmares it would cause!
If you read No.2 out loud, that's what you'd sound like if you'd been celebrating the birth and decided to order a speshul cellaboratory...celleborationary...
celebri...congara...concra...best wishes cake....
i too must profess my love for the cinderella t-rex cake minus the lava/entrails around it.
and i must say as some other commenters pointed out also enjoy the irony of the glaring ?cupcakes? in the non-glare glass.
the mystery cake will forever remain a mystery i think....maybe strawberries???
wv: snethie-wherever the wreckerator put snow white sure is snethie