Perfectly Punctual
August 27, 2010 Anyone who claims punctuation doesn't matter has clearly never read Eats, Shoots & Leaves
Or seen any of these cakes.
Well, well, well, "Emily." (IF that's your REAL name.) Just what are we celebrating here, hmm? Perhaps a sham cover operation for impostor Hello Kitty cakes?
Parenthetically speaking, can we all please agree that parentheses really never belong on a cake?
The fact that the left side looks like a "C" isn't helping.Then again, I bet this group of birthday gals was the most popular party at the restaurant. ("Hollaback, girls!")
You know what they say: "The only thing that conveys exuberance better than an ellipsis...
[sing-song] "...is a peeer-iod!"
And there was much rejoicing.Of course, for the Wreckerators who aren't satisfied with traditional, "real" punctuation, there's always one of these options:
That thing after the "Wow" is called a dinglehopper.And this is the "wavelamation":
See how well it distracts from the misspelling? You can barely see the "differance!"Nichole P., Lisa M., Luisa F., Rebekah, Millco, & Vanessa B., maybe we should all start using Victor Borge's phonetic punctuation while ordering:
And by "good money," I mean a nickel.
Reader Comments (91)
Witty commentary, pathetic cakes AND Victor Borge?
I love you guys.
haha I thoroughly enjoyed that book as well.
My niece went through a quotation-mark-in-the-air period. She once used it for her aunt's name. It was hilarious, like she didn't believe it was really her.
Oh! Thank you, thank you for the Victor Borge reference!!! He's such a legend, and yeah, he has particularly useful ideas for those ordering cakes.
When I was a teenager, my piano teacher asked me if I was going to see Victor Borge's show. I said: "Victor Borge, who?" Alas, I didn't go, and it was one of his last performances before his death. One of the greatest regrets of my life. :/
ROFL! I rememeber watching a video about that guy when I was a kid with my parents. And you post it the day my mom comes out to visit. Thanks Jen!
The wreckiness of the decorations more than distracts from the "punctuation".
#1 Hello Kitty after being run over by a steamroller
#2 Chocolate ooooozzzzzing over the edge
#3 "I didn't know Rick was so fond of roses."
#4 "Wow, that's really orange icing. UT fan?"
#5 LBah?
#6 "Is that a nightcrawler? I'll get my fishing pole."
Hooray for the Victor Borge clip. Hadn't seen that one in years.
AmyRaz
WV = pirsp, which is the phonetic spelling of one of those Borge noises, I'm sure
LOL This is great. I was thinking the wavelamation was a cross between a question mark and an exclamation point. Maybe they were a little confused on their feelings?
wavelamation: disguising a question mark as an exclamation point. "No, really, we *mean* it. Sincerely (wavelamation)"
But it would be a good nickel, right? Not one of those plastic things they use to teach kids the value of money?
That last cake's "wavelamation" looks like it could have been a question mark.
LOVE LOVE LOVE Victor Borge! Thank you for posting this.
Sharon's Edible Art
Never mind the odd punctuation, what is going on with the all girls/call girls cake's icing? Is that some sort of melted fudge icing ON TOP of the traditional buttercream? Yuck!
Ohhh...just had to post this. The word verification is "flogin". Every wreckerator should be subjected to a flogin when they mess up.
Sharon's Edible Art
These things are hilarious. I mean, did they miss English class EVERY DAY in elementary school? And I LOVE that video :). Thanks for the laughs! (*Shwick* *Pboik*)
Victor Borge and badly punctuated cakes! What more could I ask for on a cold wet Friday in August?
You rock - thank you.
No way is that a dinglehopper...it doesn't look like a fork *or* a hairbrush. :)
That so-called grammar book is inconsistent prescriptivist tripe. :-)
Ah, thank you for the Victor Borge vid. So many memories of watching him as a kid!
Somehow, I could imagine a call-in for a cake, using his punctuation phonetics... the wretched wreckorators would likely SPELL OUT the sounds.
I'm not sure I really want to think about that.
BTW - FTW with the (all girls)!!
~~Di
wv - ciallin... uh, isn't that a brand name of something in wreckorator speak?
Well, I hope the Call Girls did have a happy birthday. I'm only sorry I wasn't invited to their party.
The Boob Nazi sez:
"My niece went through a quotation-mark-in-the-air period. She once used it for her aunt's name. It was hilarious, like she didn't believe it was really her."
Hmm, if my aunt went by "The Boob Nazi," I'd be tempted to put that handle in quotes, too.
I think you mean ellipsis, not ellipse. My favorite punctuation mark...
Clarification: I have several aunts, and none of them is called "The Boob Nazi." I was just thinking hypothetically, back there.
LOVE Victor Borge! But that phonetic spelling might get spit all over the cake counter when ordering in the store.
Hello Kitty appears to have severly swollen glands, and I think Cindy may actually be celebrating her 50th delivery as a midwife, hence the space in Birth Day.
WV: talited "Who needs talited cake decorators? Vive la differance!"
hey i think a dinglehopper is the bent up for that ariel uses to bursh her hair out on the little mermaid...wow i just realized i watch entirely too much tv with my kids! lol :)
I love Victor Borge. That video cracks me up every time.
I don't thing phonetic punctuation would do a darn bit of good with wreckerators, though. You'd just get a lot of cakes with "Pfffff Bbt" on them.
WV: bacen. It's surprising how often bacen shows up on cakes.
Your...(my) "HEROE" !
Wow. I friend of mine recently returned my copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves after a two-year hiatus and I've decided (for old time's sale) to re-read it.
Then I see your post. Freeeeaaaaakyyyyyy!!!
-French Bean
Love Victor Borge, but thought the video was boring. Haven't had my coffee yet. I thought that one cake said "Wowth" -- I was disappointed that it wasn't for Elmer Fudd.
Victor Borge**!!
He's one of my favorites*!!
*note the keeping of theme with extra punctuation
**I'm probably the only person 25 or under that has ever heard of him I swear.
Poor Hello Kitty. She looks like she has a goiter or the mumps.
Dinglehopper is my new favorite word. I plan to use that as often as I can today.
Victor Borge: Always classic. As I recall, he did a version of this piece on Sesame Street, teaching kids about punctuation. That's where I remember him from. =)
WV: Badish: The phonetic spelling of a cymbal crash. As in: "bump-bump-badish!"
Oh my, it appears that Hello Kitty has a thyroid problem!
Love the (all girls) cake, can't imagine what would prompt them to write that, couldn't they have just said "Ladies"?
My favorite thing about Rick's cake is not only the anticipation but the sudden change of capitalization! (Note the D in birthday)
Oh and Cindy's cake, well that's just a prize, not only multiple periods but a whole mishmash of mixed capitalization! This cake is NOT case sensitive! :)
Both those punctuation marks on the last two cakes appear to be sea-sick exclamation points. Oh and let's also not forget how the "M" in "make" appears to have an extra leg! Guess that makes their "differance" MMMMMMM good!
I love to hate unnecessary "quotation marks" and apostrophe's. I once passed a bar with a sign that said: NO ONE UNDER "21" ADMITTED. (*wink, wink*) Really, the only thing on that first cake that should be in quotes is "Hello Kitty." Thanks for making my day, as usual.
One of my favorite things is the "sarcastic" exuberance. I have a shirt that says:
"ACTORS" do it on stage.
"ACTORS"!?!? Haha!
I'd just like to point out that the video is almost a wreck since whoever posted it called it Phonetic Pronunciation instead of Phonetic Punctuation. At least they spelled it right!
Gary,
I actually laughed hard at your comment. I love The Boob Nazi but I think I might put air quotes around that too.
"Like, oh my gosh! My aunt Julie (") The Boob Nazi(") she is like... so... cool!"
See? It kinda works.
john
ps. I thought everybody had an aunt they called The Boob Nazi.
While I like dinglehoppers and try to use them in writing as often as possible, that is clearly a dead exclamation point, which is not nearly as exciting.
Wow the call girls one. Too good.
Also, "differamce" is what that cake is really saying.
I'm taking a business communication class right now and read Eats, Shoots and Leaves. It's just crazy what you see sometimes from "professionals". Love these!
Hey, I got your book today! It's awesome :)
Cake #1: Go figure. The wreckerator forgot the quotations around Hello Kitty because I’m really sure that’s not Hello Kitty.
Cake #2: I was thinking about the How I Met Your Mother episode about Woo girls. What's a Woo Girl? A Woo Girl, is a type of young woman, who like the Cuckoo bird or the Whip-Poor-Will, gets the name from the signature sound she makes. "Wooooo!" A woo can be elicited from a certain song coming on the jukebox ("Sweet Home Alabama" plays); to half-priced shots; from a ride on a mechanical bull; to, well, pretty much anything.
Cake #3: What’s up with the small D in birthday? Also makes you wonder if there was some sort of inside joke with that cake...
Cake #4: HaPPy 50TH. Birth Day CiNDY. O.M.G. Some in cursive; some not. Some in lowercase and caps. Happy 50th what? Anniversary? Customer to get a cake from this bakery? Poor, poor Birth Day Cindy.
Cake #5: It could be WOW+. The wreckerator thought a regular WOW wasn’t special enough for LBah. I dunno, looks like it might be a snarfblat to me ;-)
Cake #6: Wavelamation looks like a word verification.
Imagine how much fun emoticons would sound phonetically? :-)
wv properma: When people use a comma properly.
Just when I thought this blog couldn't be any more awesome, you added a Victor Borge clip. Thank you!
Spelling and punctuation are two of my biggest pet peeves! If I received a cake like any one of those I would have to beat the giver to death with a whisk!
Isn't a wavelamation http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lexicon_of_Comicana" rel="nofollow">one of those terms Mort Walker came up with?
Everyone else has said it, but props for posting Victor Borge. We own a tape of one of his performances (probably the same one PBS re-airs roughly once a year during pledge week). "That is my reward. The rest goes to the government."
CAPTCHA word of the day: "blersac" - no definition, but once when we were playing Perquacky (it's like Scrabble with dice) late at night, and we were starting to get high from the sleep deprivation, we started making up words and one of them was "quirplimbersak".
Of course, this means someone has to send you a video of them trying to order a cake using verbal punctuation. And by "someone," I mean "someone other than me."
I am so impressed that some one knows enough call girls turning 30 at the same time that their names apparently won't all fit on the cake. On the other hand it could be a tribute to thirty year old call girls around the world.
Woo hoo!
I LOVE that book! Eats, shoots, and leaves is my favorite grammar commentary. I need to put that on my kindle.
Also, that last cake! It looks like they got stuck deciding between a ? and ! and decided to split the difference. (excuse me, differance).
A Victor Borge mention makes any day better.
I love the book Eats, Shoots and Leaves! If you haven't read the children's book edition that goes with it, do it! It's great!
WV: winsides- ex: "There were no winsides to those wrecks."
I love Victor Borge. The End. (Mostly because I have no original thoughts about these cakes.)
wv: arymo (Remember the Arymo!)
Love Victor Borge... I dont make the sound effects but I do say
"However (comma)"
Thank you for referencing two of my favorite punctuation-related things: Eats, Shoots and Leaves & Victor Borge's brilliance. (And this, kids, is how we correctly use a hyphen, commas, parentheses and a colon. Class dismissed.) ;)