Perfectly Punctual
August 27, 2010 Anyone who claims punctuation doesn't matter has clearly never read Eats, Shoots & Leaves
Or seen any of these cakes.
Well, well, well, "Emily." (IF that's your REAL name.) Just what are we celebrating here, hmm? Perhaps a sham cover operation for impostor Hello Kitty cakes?
Parenthetically speaking, can we all please agree that parentheses really never belong on a cake?
The fact that the left side looks like a "C" isn't helping.Then again, I bet this group of birthday gals was the most popular party at the restaurant. ("Hollaback, girls!")
You know what they say: "The only thing that conveys exuberance better than an ellipsis...
[sing-song] "...is a peeer-iod!"
And there was much rejoicing.Of course, for the Wreckerators who aren't satisfied with traditional, "real" punctuation, there's always one of these options:
That thing after the "Wow" is called a dinglehopper.And this is the "wavelamation":
See how well it distracts from the misspelling? You can barely see the "differance!"Nichole P., Lisa M., Luisa F., Rebekah, Millco, & Vanessa B., maybe we should all start using Victor Borge's phonetic punctuation while ordering:
And by "good money," I mean a nickel.
Reader Comments (91)
Eats, Shoots & Leaves and Victor Borge???
I love you.
Video comment: I had a professor who did that routine during freshman orientation in college years ago. I'd never watched the original. Thanks for sharing the fun.
I'm still laughing at the first- not just over the punctuation! My friends nicknamed me Hello Kitty!
Hurray hurray hurray for the "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" reference!! This is why you are my favorite blog!
Love the "Rick" cake - the ellipses make it seem like there's more to come. I know there's not because it's just a cake, but a girl can hope!
This is why i love/ always read cake wrecks. i was having an awful day and this made me laugh at the right time. thanks so much for putting a smile on my face!
not that I support big pharma but frankly the dinglehopper looks like a little blue pill might help.
Rick's cake really makes me wonder what the "other shoe" is. "Happy Birthday Rick...but I want a divorce." "Happy Birthday Rick...sorry about the syphilis."
I love that Victor Borge. I loved when he was on Sesame Street when I was little.
Ahh the power of puncuation
Stop! Stop! It hurts! It hurts! No more Cake Wrecks today! IT HUUUUUURTS!
Rebecca
Ah, these cakes always make me laugh.
Loved the Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference too! :)
-Katy
I think extraneous quotation marks have a snarky quality, which must explain their current popularity. Or perhaps the intent is to make the reader think the cake is talking. I know I was fooled.
#1 An alias had to be used because "Emily" wasn't supposed to know about the secret genetic engineering program involving Hello Kitty and a squirrel.
#3 That could be a flirty ellipsis, or it could be a 'watch your back' ellipsis. Maybe both. Ulp.
#4 CiNDY had only been out with Mr. Movie Phone a few times; she never imagined that he would call in a cake order on her behalf.
#5 "The customer wants two exclamation points after 'Wow'? Check. Whoops, forgot to plan ahead again -- well, I can still squeeze in the second one."
#6 sets a new standard for passive-aggressive inscriptions. The wavelmation is just straight enough to qualify as an exclamation point, yet curvy enough to suggest a question mark. Sneaky, especially when combined with the clever use of a newly-coined word.
Ah, the great Victor Borge. From the days when people could go to a live show and not have to make a mad dash for the ear bleach immediately afterward.
I laughed so hard at Victor, my hubby opened the bathroom door and asked if I needed help. After starting school (4th grade) this week, Mr. Borge was JUST what I needed - wellllll...Mr. Borge AND Cake Wrecks :)
If Leah is 13, why are there only 10 candles on the cake?
Maybe they added the extra lil dots on poor ol' Ricky's cake so nobody would notice that they demoted the "d" on Birthday.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Eats, Shoots & Leaves rocks my socks! Especially the illustrated edition with all the sweet panda pics!
I always laugh so hard at your posts, but today decided that I had to leave a comment. Thank you SO much for the video... I have tears streaming down my face!!
That first cake should also have "Hello Kitty" since that thing looks more like a mouse with skinny legs than the cute kitty lol. Imposter! As for the 30th birthday cake for call girls.. lol that is how it looks to me. Makes me wonder who picked this cake up from the bakery.
A rare comedic genuis that man was...
Like I didn't already love this blog: you just had to put in a Victor Borge link, didn't you? I actually saw him once, and he really truly was that funny.
I bet he would've loved your blog too.
Word verification: hypitic
Somehow oddly appropriate for me.
The "Happy Birthday Rick..." cake also looks weird because she put a capital "D" in "birthday." Who capitalizes in the middle of a word???
on that last one did anyone else see "you make a differance?"
Hehe, I once used that Victor Borge sketch at a speech competition... and won. Teehee.
Oh my! Victor Borge is hilarious! I personally prefer his 'Inflationary Language'. Hilarious stuff! Man, I need to upgrade from my VHS tapes of him to dvd I think. And records to cd's!
I LOVE Victor Borge -- my parents took me to see him in concert when I was too young to get half the jokes. Thanks for including his video in this post, I had forgotten how funny he was.
Love that book! That should be required reading.
Actually, I think the dinglehopper looks sort of like an alef (Hebrew letter) so it seems somewhat appropriate for Leah's 13th birthday!
I love the word wavelamation!
I try to use the word "dinglehopper" any chance I get. See; I just used it.
You are amazing. I owe my mental health to your amazing ability to make me literally "LOL" nearly everytime I visit this site. Really. I am thankful for the years you add to my life when I belly laugh my stress away. Whatever you get paid for this, it's not enough. Thanks!
I studied Professional Writing and Editing for a year, drilled in the basics and advancements of writing and editing for both novels and journalism. What we have here is a failure in standard english, which seems a pretty good prerequisite for writing anything. Lordy!
You absolutely made my day with the Victor Borge reference. He is my favourite comedian ever. I have one of the CDs of a live performance of his, I've listened to it so many times I just about have it memorised :)
Happy Birthday to Call girl belated.........
he he! Dinglehopper! Great word. I would like to see more cakes with dinglehoppers on them please
it looks more like a question mark that they're trying to disguise as an exclamation - "You Make a Difference?"
Did you really reference Eats Shoots and Leaves? My fave! And right along with a Victor Borge post!! You've been my unofficial favorite site for quite some time. I hearby upgrade you to "favorite". You are "welcome".
Thank you for sharing the Victor Borge link! I'd never heard of him, but he is absolutely amazing! Clean and classy humor. :)
Love Victor Borge! Thank you for posting this. xx
Dear Jen and John---You must stop. You are getting me into some deep trouble here in the altered state of New Jersey.
I am disabled, therefore, I live with my parents who are almost 70 years old. Quite frankly, they need their beauty sleep and they can't get any when I am lying here on the couch in the living room laughing my buttocks off (I wish I could laugh my butt off...well, about 5-10 pounds of it, anyway, considering I can't exercise...due to the fact that I'm a crip ass).
"Well, Well, Well, 'Emily' (if that IS your name)" made me laugh so hard my neck almost broke. In fact, if it hadn't already broken once and wasn't made out of titanium plates and screws, I'm sure it would have broken.
I need to go put ice on my neck. The ice bills are piling up. Medicare doesn't pay for ice. I think you should send me some ice since laughing so hard at your blog makes my neck hurt.
I love "your" blog because your the best in the world and no one could ever be as funny as you're.
Thank you for the laughter!!!! Seriously, I cannot begin to telling you how much joy bring you to my life.
Under Neat That,
Bhakti
wv "icsoch" Your blog icsoch a blessing!
Late to the game, but this brilliiant commentary left me wondering what bakers worldwide would do in the wake of the Oxford comma's recent-yet-unfortunate demise?
http://i.imgur.com/5LdZT.jpg