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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun252010

News Bites!

By popular demand, more Top Headlines, illustrated by Wrecks.
Because that's how the news SHOULD be told.

"Apple Fans Conduct World's First iPad Wedding"

The article didn't have any pics of their wedding cake, but I like to think it looked something like this "Apple computer":

Steve Jobs would be proud.

"Biologists Use Calvin Klein's Obsession to Attract Big Cats"

In other news: getitoffgetitoffofmygoshgetitoff!!

No word yet on the cats' stance on heavy petting.

"Boy Saves Sister from Moose Using World of Warcraft Skills"

Clearly, this kid deserves one kick-a$ WoW cake. So let's take a picture of one and stick it on another cake:

Perfect.

(Note: Believe it or not, the cake in the picture printed on the cake in the picture is what Goran wanted, not this. So if your baker ever asks for a "reference photo," be afraid. Be very afraid.)

Thanks to industrious Wreckporters Anony M., Stephanie B., & Goran P.!

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Reader Comments (82)

Holy Crap - I will be looking at my cats in a whole new way after that second one! And, does is say "Geaux" Tigers?

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ohmygosh...the last one is destined to be a classic.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

At least Goran got sprinkles.

That's something, isn't it?

I mean, doesn't ever WoW fan really, in their heart of hearts, at least want some pretty sprinkles?

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRichard

THE DATE STAMP!!! I'm glad I peed right before seeing that.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDorfmunder

Wow...just...wow.

I think it takes balls to stick a picture of a cake onto another cake. Just sayin'.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Geaux Tigers?
Go Tigers?

Soooooooo this is a cake the FRENCH CLUB made up to root for the home team???

I'm just guessing.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

I wonder what WoW world that 'Tiger' is from?

Maybe it's a French Tiger. Wish it would just "Geaux" from my mind - there will be nightmares tonight.

Poor WoW fan. And to think that's a photo of an actual WOWWW WoW cake on that WoW cake.

*shakes head sadly*

I guess I'll stick to being an amateur cake decorator - too scary to go professional.

~~Di

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Number 2 looks like a remake of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon as directed by Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth).

Think about it. It makes sense.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

Whew! I am sooooo glad you didn't find another kind of "pad" cake for the iPad wedding....

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think Contestant #3 might have taken lazy caking to a new pinnacle.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKae

Some LSU fan somewhere is crying.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

LOL love the reference photo wreck! Let's see, they either took it to a bakery, where the baker took one look at it and said to himself, "There's no way I can do that, so I'm just sticking on this cake. Here we go, this should be the right size." *grabs scissors* *snip snip snip* "there. PERFECT."

Or more likely, the cake buyer went to a bakery, found out how much said cake would cost (or maybe they confessed their lack of skills to reproduce it)

so the cake buyer looked at the cake, shrugged, and grabbed a cake out of the Carvel case to slap the picture on. *snip snip snip* "There, PERFECT."

meanwhile, when did Apple make poo brown computers with itty bitty keyboards?

and that scary raging ball of "fur" (which has no face except the Halloween vampire fangs and tongue in that vicious little mouth)--is really freaking me out.

yet amazingly, the fur on the tail is so smooth...how unusual for a cat whose hair is standing up.

love the "Frenchified" spelling of the word "go" (geaux?? seriously? that's not evena verbal spelling! that's a plural masculin suffix (not to mention a suspiciously made up word.)

Canadians? do you want to weigh in? or would it be weilles?

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

WoW = Worlds of Warcraft? Huh. around here, there are WOW bumper stickers but I'm told it's because a local radio station has a "Whip it out Wednesday" bit on their show.

now THOSE would make some interesting wrecks! (shield your eyes, kids!)

wv: siefigma. what that poor freaked out cat is suffering from. either that or a hallucinatory effect these cakes have on viewer who try to figure them out or get freaked out by them. (a siefigma of my imagination....)

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Wow. that's all I'm sayin'.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Somebody help me with the last one. I'm having trouble discerning what is happening there. Is it a WoW photograph just plopped onto a white cake with sprinkles? Plus, does it not completely fill said white cake? Odd...I'm guessing the cat cake must be in New Orleans because they root for the football team with signs say "Geaux Saints." Or else, somebody somewhere stole the idea....and thought that was a good thing.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can't believe that last one. How sad-hopefully the kid was at least able to laugh about it! That is the laziest effort i think I've ever seen.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterQuisty

Sports fans spell "Go" like "Geaux" a lot for some reason. I don't really know why, but I see people do it all the time on purpose. The cake's spelling was most likely intentional.

It took me a second to figure out what was wrong with the last cake. I was just looking at the blue cake without realizing it was printed onto another cake!!

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"A moose once bit my sister" ;)

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer in MN

HAH! First of all, that WOW one is Epic. An epic failure, sure, but still!

And it took me FOREVER to "get" the perspective on that apple computer. If you can't dazzle 'em, confuse 'em!

Did you know that for a french speaker `Geaux Tigers` can actually read 'Go Tigers', which seemed to be the original intention.
You really need to go multi-cultural to obtain such a wreck. Does it come from Quebec, by any chances ?

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBruno

Cheaters never win. They get featured on Cake Wrecks.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebekah

@Kae--don't you mean they took lazy decorating to a new depth? pinnacle gives them too much credit!

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

lolololol

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The "geaux" is throwing me off.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Jennifer gave y'all a clue: "Geaux Tigers" is popular with LSU fans. LSU is located in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Baton Rouge is in Cajun Country. Cajuns speak French, albeit a somewhat archaic form.

You're welcome.

Normie (used to live in Louisiana)

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I see what you did there, Jennifer in MN.

The first cake has some serious non-Euclidean geometry going on. It took me more time than it should have to figure out what was going on there. Lovecraft would be proud. Steve Jobs would not.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPD

The reason people print it "Geaux Tigers" is because the Cajun influence in Lousiana has produced a lot of names that end in "eaux" but sound like "o". Think Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, etc.

The difference between the "eaux" suffix in Cajun culture and "eau" suffix in French language doesn't seem to have a definite origin, but it's some kind of offshoot. So it's a French-type spelling, but exclusive to the Cajun regions.

So saying "Geaux Tigers!" is a way of supporting the team and infusing some local flair into the phrase.

It would be akin to a Texan saying, "I support Texas A&M, y'all!"

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

Ohmigosh, that second cake is terrifying!

As for the third cake... I think I would have busted out some ferrealz battle skills on that wreckerator!

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Luxuries

oh wow..it took me a moment to realize that the last one was merely a picture of a good cake plastered on a mediocre one. Sad, wreckerator, sad.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

The Apple cake was great! We have a mac-obsessed/addict here at work, and I *had* to send the link to him. It left him traumatized

I understand that they didn't want to infringe upon copyright, but... if they think that's what computers look like today, I guess that answers the question "why don't they just Google [xyz]?"

#2 is a double wreck, unless that cake is linked to the [US] state of Louisiana. "Geaux" is not a word in French.

Any word on why it's those colours???

And as for #3, yup I agree with the posters above, that's sinking to a new low in wreckerating. Wow! [pun intended]

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

Now I've painted a lot of tiger pictures in my time and I'm pretty sure those weren't the colours I had on my palette.......

Love the way they thought the computer cake should have an actual lead coming out the back!!

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

I'm sure this will have been said many times in yet-to-be moderated comments, but WoW is right. That's the most egregious abuse of the term "reference photo" I could think of. I find it hard to believe that the wreckerator referred to it in any way when choosing the white fluffy base, the coloured sprinkles, or even the orientation of the printout. Did they LOOK at it?

wv: pyling, as in "Pyling icing around the edge of a photo does not constitute custom cake decorating."

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

Allez, Tigers!

I can just see the redneck pronunciation of "geaux..."

"What's that say? er, gee-oaks? geh-ox? I don't get it..."

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#3 looks like a really bad multi-colored shag rug. with claws. and fangs. and a tail. and it's lumpy. kinda puke colored too.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Bahahaha. The time stamp on the WoW craft is ridiculous! Poor kid!

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWhitney

The reason people print it "Geaux Tigers" is because the Cajun influence in Louisiana has produced a lot of names that end in "eaux" but sound like "o". Think Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, etc.

Hence the joke about the cajun (and I am one) who named his dog Phydeaux.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWill

Whoa - #1 brings a whole new meaning to WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get), and I definitely don't want to know where they saw it or where they got it...

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBub

I love the paws and teeth on the Tiger cake. He reminds me of the Foo Dog or Dragon in Chinese mythology. He often has these lovely colors and fierce expresson - but maybe a bit more "together". I don't know how to say "geau tigers" in Chinese. Norine

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My impression of the second wreck is that it has a mane. Possibly the wreckerator does not know the difference between lions and tigers and also believes tiger fur has a camouflage pattern -- the kind of camouflage that would blend in with a well used fraternity house shag carpet.

WV soidium: In New Joisey the doctor tells them to watch their soidium.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSiouxzr

I want a Fizzgig cake!!!!

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOdie

"Geaux Tigers" (aka "Go Tigers") is an LSU slogan for those that were wondering. Louisiana has a lot of French influence in its culture, so I figure the spelling has to do with that. But that thing looks more like those red/orange head-tossing creatures from the David Bowie movie "Labyrinth"...but maybe that's just me :)

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMallory

I was in tears when I got to #2.

In other news: getitoffgetitoffofmygoshgetitoff!!"

OMG... I was laughing so hard. A friend says her psyche is scarred from that thing. And yes, and LSU fan is crying... probably lots of them.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

The just needs to proper toothed, extensible tongue and you'd have the warped hatchling of an alien/tribble cross.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

To answer all the questions about "geaux" (i am the submitter)... i live in southern LA where Cajun French is common, and many last names end in 'eaux' (pronounced 'o')... so therefore, it's a common play on words to say "Geaux -----!" to support the local team, in this case, LSU. And, as Jennifer noted, somewhere, an LSU fan IS crying...

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

So they ordered a cake for a 12 year old boy who offered himself as prey to save his little sister's life and the bakery gave them that travesty? It should be thrown with great force in the decorator's face. Pathetic!

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJanet

That second story should be good news for any men looking to catch a cougar...

WV: catex. He used to date an older woman, but now she's his catex.

(This coincidence is just too weird.)

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

"Jen to Sheaux Off Wit!"
"Wreckporters get the Scoop!"
"Cake Wrecks Pulitzer!"

~~~

I can hardly read headlines correctly the first time. I tend to have noun/verb confusion.

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

How does playing a video game give ANYONE thescils to save ANYTHONG?

Did he use its head as a game controler?

Too Old for WoW

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRoxi

The picture of the cake on the cake is killing me. Too hilarious!

And, yes, that's what I think LSU tigers actually look like under their purple & gold jerseys...

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Quoting my hubby as he looked at the WoW cake: "Wow! That is the laziest crappiest way to make exactly what the customer asked for. Brilliant!"

Then he turned to me and said, "You could make a lot of money making cakes if this is the sort of thing people will pay for!"

I'm not sure if he was praising my cake making abilities or not, but it made me laugh almost as much as your post did. :-)

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

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