A "Dreme" Come True
April 29, 2010 "Welcome back to round one of the National Wreck Bowl, folks. Our reigning champion, Pat Wüfflehausen, has filled his pastry bags and is ready to attempt a new world record.
"Greg, this is obviously a huge challenge for Wüffelshausen. What do you think he's feeling right now?
"Well, he ate the same lunch we did, Pete, so probably nauseous and constipated."
"Hey, I did warn you about those samosas, buddy. Aaaand here we go! Our champ is now in position. Looks like he's assessing the area...he's preparing to pipe...and...
"A-HA! Would you look at that? Right out of the gate, he has destroyed the first word!"
"Tell me, Greg, how many points would you say that misspelling is worth?""Oh, I have no idea."
"But if you had to take a shot in the dark?"
"Well, I'd probably spill it."
"No, no, I mean...Uh, tell you what, let's just move on to round two."
"YES!! Wüfflehausen just manages to knock out the second word! That was quite a close call, turning the 'I' into an 'E', don't you think, Greg?"
"Only when absolutely necessary, Pete."
"Haha, sounds good. Well, folks, this is it: the final round. And, uh-oh! Look what just got plunked down on the playing field!
"Greg, it's going to be pretty tough for Wüfflehausen to misspell "achieve" with that star stamp right next to him. Do you think he can pull it off?"Well, sure! It's just a tiny plastic pick - probably doesn't weigh a thing."
"No, no, sorry, that was my fault there, Greg. I mean, do you think he can do it?"
"Do what?"
"Right, let's get back to the action! The crowd is hushed with anticipation, and you can almost feel the tension in the air, can't you, Greg?"
"Abso-lutely not!"
"And here we go...and, oh! Oh! It looks like he could...go...all..the...way!
"YES!! Do you believe in miracles?!?""Well, there was that time my mother-in-law fell down the stairs..."
"And that's a new World Record! To those of you at home, thanks for tuning in, and good night!"
Annie, I think I'd call this the "Hale Mary" of Wreckerating.
- Related Wreckage: The Teacher Tearjerker
Reader Comments (135)
the SNL reference made my happier than eating cake...well almost! BUT...what was it brought to us by? I mean really....?
Definitely worthy of the slow clap. :)
AND the comments today are fantastic! Thanks everyone!
I see evidence of a letter allergie
This is why my bakery keeps a dictionary next to where we take orders, just in case.
You said it was the "Hale Mary" of Wreckerating. I don't mean to all you out in public, but I think you actually meant "Hale Merry" in this case. Technically. ;-)
Like Laura, I heard this in the voices of the Best In Show and Dodgeball announcers. Inspired commentary!!
I think it is definitely the icing trinity! Great post today! It reminded me of that classic comedy skit of the 2 sportscasters doing a play by pay of the orchestra playing classical music (Bach? Beethoven??). Thanks for the laugh!
oh yes!!! The laughter abounds!!!
I heard Alton Brown while reading... that was fun!!!
Doitagain, doitagain, doitagain!!!
@ Liane: Spell check is a completely worthless program; trust the pro proofer here. It is definitely "misspelling" with two esses.
We tell all the writers at my company that if they're depending on spell check, they're not actually getting any proofreading done. Its word lists are crazy, and it can't tell when you've misspelled a word in place of another one ("are" for "our" for example).
I want to be a cake proofreader now, though, to provide excellanse in speling for swiets. :)
Your blog is absolutely hilarious. My daughter is a pastry chef and she reads it for inspiration on what not to do.
The "shot in the dark" did it for me.
After all these posts, you guys get funnier and funnier.
Keep them coming, please! :)
~Ana
Anonymous at 9:41-
7:30 in the MORNING? Decorating a cake in a store bakery??
In a suit and heels??? And you didn't even know where you WERE "...out of town that week...some hotel room somewhere." ????
It all sounds so serendipitous...so freewheelingly footloose and fancy-free...!!
I want YOUR life!
----
So, this is what "I* think is going on there:
It's all a subterfugical
and Secret Code-y type of "message" on that cake. It's supposed to be picked up by a mysterious Secret Agent type of customer. The message is not at all what it appears to be. OF COURSE. Otherwise it wouldn't be a Big SECRET. OR be getting picked up by a S.E.
"IMAGENE" and "DREME":
These are *really* "I'M A GENE" and DR.EME"
(Looks to me like the case involves some sort of genetic engineering experiment. One in which the common comma and the apostrophe are not cleared to take part in at this time.)
"ACHEIVE" : Could be referencing a certain ARCHIVE of importance. Don't ask ME!
Maybe too much of a stretch? Then how about "ACHEIVE" meaning "I'VE an ACHE"?
Which--naturally-- would be their way of saying that something has gone seriously wrong with the lighting in the lab. Eye strain hurts, doesn't it?
And OBVIOUSLY the squiggly things and the dots HAVE to have something to do with DNA strands and such-like.
I think I'm on to something here, and may be close to cracking the case.
I'M NOT TAKING ANY CALLS.
DON'T WAIT UP!
=^9.9^=
They had to try really hard to get all of those words spelled incorrectly. That's a special kind of talent.
I and my Russian confectionery firm always wanted and dreamed to have such a high astounding achievement
"Laughter is best medicine" - and sorely needed after seeing some of these wrecks.
@Kay (10:08AM) - Po' Poo Pup: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/09/going-to-dogs.html
Ok where oh where did they find this wreckerator??? I mean if they can't even spell achieve right when it is in front of their faces.. then again they can't seem to spell anything. Back to school with you!! Lol.. this just makes me sad for whoever ordered it in the first place..By the way I just ordered my cake pray it isn't going to be put on here lol.
hello,
I love you. Your hilarious pictures and brilliant captions have me laughing out loud on a daily basis.
For that dear wrecktators I could never repay you...
Carry on, I say, carry on.
Surely that's the Hale Merry?
Hi! Grammer police here. Very, very funny post (as is everyday). Okay, just one thing that made me cringe. After eating something bad, like samosas, you would feel nauseated, not nauseous. Nauseous/nauseated is one of those similar ones that is getting flubbed more and more often, hence becoming more acceptable. But I'm sure you don't want to be acceptable ;)
WOW!!!
(That's all I can say right now :)
Anon,
You mean grammAr police, don't you? ;)
Yours truly,
the friendly neighborhood copy editor
@Anonymous: Merriam-Webster disagrees, not just in listed definitions but in its comments on usage.
I before E, except after H. Or any other letter.
How can you misspell a word when it's right in front of you??!! *facepalm*
That is truely unbeleivible.
(Yes, I spelled both words wrong on purpose!)
To All,
I submitted this and then forgot. It still makes me laugh out loud. Mostly because my sister, an 8th Grade English teacher, was the first to show it to me. One of her colleagues had gone to a local grocery store for a goodie for the teachers...and snapped the pic.
Annie
Yes I agree, the only thing missing was this post being sponsored by some feminine product!! (From SNL's "ESPN Classic Sportscasters" skit). OMG so funny. And the cake? Just...wow.
~LL
Greg stink ftw!
At least she (he?) only claimed to be the "grammer" police, not the spelling police!
I love it!
Now if only you'd thrown in hilariously inappropriate female product ads.... ;)
Your homage to the SNL commentators sketch was just AWESOME. Written better than most of their recent stuff. Keep it up, Jen!!
In light of Annie's April 30/6:22 pm post that this was a legitimate offering in a grocery store-- and not an intentional flub-- wow. I understand that these grocery store bakeries aren't the highest paying jobs, and that some schools in the U.S. are *really* bad, but... wow. The wreckerator doesn't have much of a future without dramatically improved literacy skills. I was going to laugh at it, but now I just see this as really, really sad.
Best. Post. Ever.
I nearly peed my pants at the "shot in the dark" line.
your adding greg stink to all this just made my horrendously slow day at work suddenly better.
yay snl references! :D
thank yooooooooou xxoo
haha it's an honest mistake, but I guess he didn't finish high school?
just kidding everyone makes mistake. thanks for the giggles.