A "Dreme" Come True
April 29, 2010 "Welcome back to round one of the National Wreck Bowl, folks. Our reigning champion, Pat Wüfflehausen, has filled his pastry bags and is ready to attempt a new world record.
"Greg, this is obviously a huge challenge for Wüffelshausen. What do you think he's feeling right now?
"Well, he ate the same lunch we did, Pete, so probably nauseous and constipated."
"Hey, I did warn you about those samosas, buddy. Aaaand here we go! Our champ is now in position. Looks like he's assessing the area...he's preparing to pipe...and...
"A-HA! Would you look at that? Right out of the gate, he has destroyed the first word!"
"Tell me, Greg, how many points would you say that misspelling is worth?""Oh, I have no idea."
"But if you had to take a shot in the dark?"
"Well, I'd probably spill it."
"No, no, I mean...Uh, tell you what, let's just move on to round two."
"YES!! Wüfflehausen just manages to knock out the second word! That was quite a close call, turning the 'I' into an 'E', don't you think, Greg?"
"Only when absolutely necessary, Pete."
"Haha, sounds good. Well, folks, this is it: the final round. And, uh-oh! Look what just got plunked down on the playing field!
"Greg, it's going to be pretty tough for Wüfflehausen to misspell "achieve" with that star stamp right next to him. Do you think he can pull it off?"Well, sure! It's just a tiny plastic pick - probably doesn't weigh a thing."
"No, no, sorry, that was my fault there, Greg. I mean, do you think he can do it?"
"Do what?"
"Right, let's get back to the action! The crowd is hushed with anticipation, and you can almost feel the tension in the air, can't you, Greg?"
"Abso-lutely not!"
"And here we go...and, oh! Oh! It looks like he could...go...all..the...way!
"YES!! Do you believe in miracles?!?""Well, there was that time my mother-in-law fell down the stairs..."
"And that's a new World Record! To those of you at home, thanks for tuning in, and good night!"
Annie, I think I'd call this the "Hale Mary" of Wreckerating.
- Related Wreckage: The Teacher Tearjerker
Reader Comments (135)
Dyslectics untie!
Loved, loved, loved the commentary! I want those broadcasters to follow me around for a day.
"I don’t think Abby can procrastinate any longer. Surely some work must... What’s this? Opening a browser? Heading to Cake Wrecks! Can you believe it?"
"I believe in Leprechauns."
"What a champ."
Something was rolled into that diploma.
I think my favorite part was, "I'd probably spill it." Haha, that was delightfully clever. Thanks for the morning pick me up!
Wow, I could almost hear the two announcers from Celebrity Death Match in my head!
Wouldn't it be considered a hat trick?
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wowza!
It was made a million times better with the commentary. Love this!
"But if you had to take a shot in the dark?"
"Well, I'd probably spill it."
Not me! I read this and promptly spit my beverage instead. ;^) This is a truly inspired entry by an epic "fail cake". You guys must be P.D.Q. Bach fans!
I'd totally buy that for my English major graduate. "Congrats, kid. You now are an expert on a dy-, sorry, the evolving conglomeration that is the 'English' language."
conGLOBeration? conBLOGeration? Gee, what new concept can I synergize today?
WV: ablert -- Yup, Ablert, you're on your way now.
This post reminded me of Tiger Words on Between the Lions. But then, Tiger only got points for spelling things right. . .
PDQ Bach reference?
I was torn between reading that as 'Best of Show' commentators and the ones from ESPN 8 (The Ocho!) in 'Dodgeball' Too funny!
The cherry on top has to be the "diploma" ROFL - yeppers. Totally explains why most college-aged kids can't spl thr wy out of a wt ppr bg.
How do you do it, Jen? You're faced with the same, unending drudge of misspellings (and godawful color schemes...er, scheams), and yet you still manage to come up with original, hysterical commentary. Is it all those shots in the dark?
At any rate, well done, my Wreck Master, well done. I look forward to "Gradaiton" season!!
I think you mean the "Hale Merry."
That was WRECK-TACULAR!
... or the "Hale Merrie" of decorating.
the irony that this is a graduation cake. passive aggressive high school dropout wreckerator? shouldn't these words be spellable by 5th grade though? sheesh.
maybe it IS an ESL problem. an argument for immigration reform?
$8.99 for that?? I have to admit, this is now one of my favorite CW posts. Marvelous commentary. "Probably doesn't weigh a thing." HA!
I think the most shocking part of this post is that the bakery is charging $8.99 for those spelling mistakes. That's quality work!
Kay, your wv: popoopup is the sound the un-tamped frosting bag makes as the wreckerator pipes on plops!
My wv: ectis, as in, "What the ectis happened?"
BEST. CAKE. EVER. I would buy it and have a party in it's honor!
I learned from a dear friend that when people misspell things they think they are spelling it right so feel no need to check a dictionary. My ex hubby spelled 'people' as 'peeple' and he was over 50 years old. He thought it was correct every time he wrote it.
We will always have people who misspell with us, which means Cake Wrecks can be with us forever.
So, that's all good. :)
Great. I heard the primary narration of this one in Greg's (Whose Line) voice.
You gotta stop putting these voices in my head, Jen, or one day they won't go away again!
Loved the commentary. Had the Sports Classics commentator in my head the whole time. Brilliant!
Just a heads up:
Nauseous means you make people want to throw up. Nauseated means you feel like you need to throw up.
Could make future wrecks even wreckier!
Love, love, love the blog!
@Jason - I totally thought of the concert casting too when I read this! "AAAnd they're off with the four note theme!"
I would love to see more of the Wreckcasters!!
I love that SNL skit! Jen, you are hilarious!
I was totally hearing Cotton McKnight and Pepper Brooks (AKA Gary Cole and Jason Bateman) from ESPN8--the Ocho!--in my head. This was perfection!
I am choosing to believe that the misspellings are a joke for the new grad.
The commentary was brilliant, though. Loved the "shot in the dark" one. ^^
pure funny right there.
EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. MISSPELLED. (Strangely, I spell-checked that last word in Word 2007 and it is ok two ways: "misspelled" and "mispelled". But Firefox doesn't like "mispelled." Anyone care to debate?)
that's why i love cake wrecks... :D
That has to be the funniest thing I've read this week!
Anyone besides me hearing Eric Idle's voice as you read this post?
oh wow- that was a dremey and auinspiring wreck. New hites of wreckness indeed.
That is farntastek. :S
Maybe it was deliberate: You only get your diploma if you spot all the misspellings.
WV: miescend: A descent in status due to misspellings.
I believe this is one of your all-time best posts.
Jen, you are all that is betwien me and insanety. Thanks so mush for this wanderful post.
As a perfessional proofraeder, naterally I was delited.
LOVE this blog;)
LOL It is like my diaree full of similar misspelleengs lol
Your announcers are totally Pete Twinkle & Greg Stink from SNL, aren't they? :)
Please tell me this was a joke, I can't fathom someone actually making that many errors on a cake.
Next up - "If you can Dreme it, you can Acheive it!!" Including the quotation marks, of course.
Irony for me here is I know a woman named Mary Hale. Yesh.
All you needed was the sponsorship of a feminine hygiene product.
Very funny!
"I before E except after C. Well, technically they're after a C."
Third time's a charm. Shows what our education system really prepares us for. Misspelled cakes.
A misspelling trifecta!
-Courtney
Here's a little help...
"i before e except after c
or when sounded like a
as in neighbour and weigh "
As for the other ones...I can't help the decorator there.
http://introtoprogrammingandlife.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">http://introtoprogrammingandlife.blogspot.com/
And to think that someone paid $8.99 for that masterpiece!
I would call it a "hat trick"!
Guess this wreckerator didn't "acheive" quite enough, did he?