A Little Rough Around The Edges
March 26, 2010 If there's one thing I've learned from Cake Wrecks over the past 22 months, it's that Epcot is a thing not to be trifled with.
If there's another thing I've learned from Cake Wrecks, it's that you can't make a rounded cupcake cake (ptoieee!). As in, ever. The laws of physics preclude even the merest hint of possibility.
Not that this stops our brave wreckerators from trying, of course. They seem convinced that slathering potentially life-threatening amounts of icing onto anything will put a skeptical customer into a pre-purchase sugar haze strong enough to induce glaucoma.
So let's look at how the seemingly simple circle becomes a disaster destined for diabolically dastardly...um...proportions. (No, wait. Dimensions! Dang it. Broke my stride.)
This...[dramatic pause]...is a base "ball."And this...is Spider-Man:
Or what's left of him, anyway.This... is... SPARTA!!!
Actually, no. I think this is supposed to be a hamburger.Baker: "I'm sorry, what?"
"Zederbergerer kek."
Baker: "Okay, I'm really not sure what you're..."
*sobbing* "DERBERGER!"
Well just remember, Wreckerators, you can always resort to that old standby: Piping, The Fix For Everything.™
Perfect.- Related Wreckage: National Cupcake Day
Reader Comments (93)
The first thing I thought of when I saw the "hamburger" was that it looked like a game of Frogger!
Um, wow. I've made a better baseball cake than that, and I suck at decorating cakes.
14.99? lol! wh did I pursue a degree in American lit? I could be rolling large in CCC money if they can sell THAT at 14.99 i could be all mac daddy in the CCC universe. Note to self, buy a mixer at a tag sale soon fortunes await.
what, exactly, is that last cake supposed to be?
This kinda mess is why I am doing the cake for the project manager's retirement and not letting anyone buy one from a bakery. Can you imagine? Some violently colored airbrushed mess with "Hapy Retiarmint Under Neat That Stey In Tuch". Yeah, thanks, I'll buy a cake box at Michaels, bust out my decorating equipment, and do the job myself!
Oh Ehm Gee, I totally thought that hamburger was supposed to be a Frogger cake!
So, is that last one supposed to be balloons?!? Because other than that, I am really stumped as to what it might be!
The cheeseburger looks like that game, "Frogger".
I thought you were going to say, "Don't mess with Texas," since it almost killed your husband.
Conversation with my 4 year old
DD: "Piderman!"
Me: "How do you KNOW that's Piderman?"
DD: *blank look* "It's Piderman.'
Me: "Yes, but how do you KNOW that's Piderman?"
DD: "Um, because Peter Parker shoots webs, and that has webs on it's face."
Me: *scrolls up to the baseball cake "What's this one?"
DD: "I don't know, I'm only 4!"
my teeth are rotting as I look at these, gosh, I can't even say,'cakes'...
This...is...SPARTA
BWA-HA-HA-HA...oh dang, coffe really stings when it comes out your nose....
Count this as another vote for 'Frogger' on the burger cake. XD
Hilarious, spit out my juice, Pink Panther reference FTW!!
You are so funny. :) Thanks for making my mornings!
Love the unzipped cotton ball cake.
What, those weren't cotton balls? It was a textured baseball? Huh?
WV: deregar
Deregar kek! Eye vant deregar kek!
That last one...Pangea?
Was there some sort of material shortage for that last CCC? They almost made two matched "balloons", but instead got a balloon and an oven mitt.
At least those "Spiderman" cupcakes were beautifully frosted! Of course that lovely work is completely tossed out the window when you assume the human face is diamond-shaped!
I'm with Diana, the Sparta comment made me giggle! The Spiderman one was the least, um, horrific.
It IS possible to make a round CCC...I have done it! Yes, I have! You have to bake it round to begin with...in a round pan, you stuff as many of the foil cupcake liners as will fit, then you fill the liners with batter and bake. The cupcakes themselves will be wonky shapes, but the CCC outline will be round. As an added bonus, if you have filled the liners with enough batter, the cupcake tops will form a fairly smooth top that will not take 3 inches of icing to smooth. Yes...I know I am brilliant!!
Wow! Look at you! Now in the most popular/most viewed section of MSNBC.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/36039383/
All this cup cake carnage could be avoided if only someone would invent a large round cake tin, err, hang on a minute...
Just buy a box of cupcakes, people, seriously.
I mean, is it really better to have a mutant baseball than 24 individual cupcakes decorated like baseballs?! Argh.
WV: offshmi - These cupcake cakesh are offshmi terrible.
Hey Guys,
You might have a new CCC battle on your hands. My son's school will only allow party and birthday cakes in the form of CCCs. That way, the b-day child (or the kid who volunteered Mommy to bring the special event cake)gets to pick out a design they want and the teachers don't have to worry about someone "getting a bigger piece."
Cupcake cakes rock! All the icing and no clean up!
The first two "cakes" look angry. The jagged red stitching says "grr" to me. and why wouldn't spidey be mad stuck in his own web?
#3: slug highway through a mudflat? reminds me of the Frogger game.
#4: WHAT. ARE. THOSE? conversation balloons? balloons? radioactive technicolor amoebas? gloves? what?
I promise you. There is only so much that you can shape with cupcakes.
As someone who works with children on a regular basis, I appreciate the value of cupcakes...but don't try to create something else out of them!! I did see a neat design yesterday, there was a small cake (think "smash cake" for a 1-yr-old) in the middle, and there were several cupcakes (decorated in the same fashion as the cake) surrounding it.
BTW: will someone fill me in on the Epcot reference? Did I miss a post somewhere?
I am snorting and laughing!!! Is it just me or are you getting funnier?
Okay. At least the baseball looks somewhat like what it's supposed to be (he's 5. I don't think he'll care. Maybe.). I could look at that and go, "Oh, it's sort of like a baseball. I get it."
The others? Mmmmm, nope. The "I get it" train left the station and these wrecks certainly weren't on it.
There are no words for how relieved I am that I'm not the only person who saw that 'hamburger' (I use the term lightly!) and thought "zomgFrogger"!
The baroque Spiderman made me laugh out loud. Either baroque, or inspired by Peter Max. Or maybe just hallucinogenic drugs . . .? I give up--I can't explain that one.
For those not up to speed on the "Epcot" reference, please read this post. IN ITS ENTIRETY.
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/04/happy-day-earth.html
Thanks for the laugh, I needed it!
I wish people would stop creating CCC's and start creating adorable cupcakes again.
I felt like I was looking at lite-brite creation's when I saw those CCC's today!
My daughter says the hamburger looks like a bad couch!!! These are funny!!
Funny, the frogger/hamburger cake has "sprinkles" on just the top. You can serve "sprinkles" or "non-sprinkles" to the guests! Woo-hoo.
Woah. Petition? Yes, please. This crime must be stopped! Danburger, anyone? :)
I have seen one solution to the unrounded ball cake: the baker draws the base/foot/soccer ball, then pipes in grass around it. It's still a CCC, but it's an improvement.
@anon 10:35 AM: to smash cupcakes into a round tin to bake would make the cupcakes stuck together. doesn't that defeat the purpose of an easy to pull apart CCC? though with the icing they glob on it at bakeries, maybe it's not so easy after all.
Nona, I could see a crumb and candy wrapper couch like that.
Now, can you imagine trying to play base"ball" with a ball that shape? that would be quite the challenge. Hitting it would send it off in any direction wildly, though probably not too far. Imagine the play possibilities
i like the idea of individual baseball cupcakes instead. they would be so cute. the kids would love to get their own. one argument for a ccc is to be able to write on it, but they didn't do that here, they just wrote on the cake board.
individual baseballs would have been awesome. maybe it would have cost more to do all the piping for the stitches over and over and really tiny. i mean, look at this angry zigzag that's supposed to pass for stitching. this decorator was having a bad day.
Hehe! The Pink Panther reference made me LOL
What're you talking about? That's totally Spider-Man! After he'd been run over by a steam roller...and someone changed the orientation of his eyes...Man, that's a disturbing CCC.
I saw a gardenburger...complete with worms and leaves...
blurk..excuse me...my stomach just revolted!
you can't make a rounded cupcake cake (ptoieee!). As in, ever. The laws of physics preclude even the merest hint of possibility.
Actually, it's just a matter of resolution. The baseball cake fails because the cupcakes are too big relative to the cake as a whole. If you made the baseball bigger, say 3 feet in diameter, I bet the result would be much more circular.
Oh, Steve Martin, you slay me.
Will,
What are you, some kinda scientist?
What is this, cake Science?
What do I look like? Alfred flippin Einstein?!?!?
Actually, you're probably right. But let's not encourage them.
john
I'm on the individual baseball cupcake decoration train. It would've been so cute!
Glaucoma???????
...reality seems to be melting again..
As for the last one, I can see a balloon, and a shirt? Llama? Squidworth?