A Little Rough Around The Edges
March 26, 2010 If there's one thing I've learned from Cake Wrecks over the past 22 months, it's that Epcot is a thing not to be trifled with.
If there's another thing I've learned from Cake Wrecks, it's that you can't make a rounded cupcake cake (ptoieee!). As in, ever. The laws of physics preclude even the merest hint of possibility.
Not that this stops our brave wreckerators from trying, of course. They seem convinced that slathering potentially life-threatening amounts of icing onto anything will put a skeptical customer into a pre-purchase sugar haze strong enough to induce glaucoma.
So let's look at how the seemingly simple circle becomes a disaster destined for diabolically dastardly...um...proportions. (No, wait. Dimensions! Dang it. Broke my stride.)
This...[dramatic pause]...is a base "ball."And this...is Spider-Man:
Or what's left of him, anyway.This... is... SPARTA!!!
Actually, no. I think this is supposed to be a hamburger.Baker: "I'm sorry, what?"
"Zederbergerer kek."
Baker: "Okay, I'm really not sure what you're..."
*sobbing* "DERBERGER!"
Well just remember, Wreckerators, you can always resort to that old standby: Piping, The Fix For Everything.™
Perfect.- Related Wreckage: National Cupcake Day
Reader Comments (93)
Can someone please tell me why that hamburger has a caterpillar-infested vine growing on it?!
Becky
I can't be the only one who saw a red blob with a bikini top for the "Spiderman" ccc.
Hilarious!
I feel like MAYBE the last one is supposed to be exclamation marks? Like, remember in 6th grade when you wrote your name in bubble letters with an exclamation mark at the end...KELLY!
Am I right?
I like Will's solution of really big CCCs. This site could just come to be about big cakes that actually don't look too awful. I think it might even be an important step toward world peace. :)
*sits down to meditate*
@Heidi:
Heh heh...WELL, now. We won't be hearing from kristina for a while...!!
=^~.-^=
Here's what I saw when looking at the first "creation":
I was scrolling down through the post, and was sneaking up on the first picture, when my something-or-other-technical froze. There I was, staring at the top half (ONLY) of the first...uh...cake.
AND...the first thing that popped into my "mind" was that it reminded me of one of those handmade Norwegian Fisherman's sweaters.(!!!)
Don't ask...
=^??^=
OH! And...and..
That second one? BIKINI TOP. Yeah!
On top of a bed of cupcakes--of COURSE.
I can't make ANY sense of that next one, and I think that's a good thing...it could mean that I'm not crazy enough to *recognize* it as REPRESENTING an actual SOMETHING.
As for the very last one..hmmmmm...
couldn't tell you--but it is NOT worth $16.99!!! Mercy!
=^@.@^=
Holy cow! I've had a really bad day at work and I stumble onto this website and almost peed myself I was laughing so hard! The Cake Wrecks Correlation at the bottom of the page is too funny! I'm bookmarking this site. Thanks for cheering me up!
I think the last ones are dinosaurs??!!
Maybe a CCC can't be round b/c the formula for a circle is "pi(e) R squared" not CAKE. Love this blog.
http://listverse.com/2009/03/27/10-incredibly-bizarre-and-awful-cakes/
Here's a link you might enjoy. ListVerse has a "Top 10" list of "incredibly bizarre and awful cakes". Enjoy!
people say balloons on that last one, I say they look like lungs on drugs, early 90's neon style.
I'm totally with you on the petition - where can I sign up?!
That last mess - I saw a ping-pong paddle on the left but can't even hazard a guess as to the mish-mash on the right.
Looks like Spider-Man ran out of web fluid at the wrong time.
To Will and John,
All right you two, I want you to step back from the vision of putting together enough cupcakes to make a believably round structure and think for a minute: who the heck is going to have a birthday party for a 5 year old that requires that many cupcakes? The last thing you want is several hundred 5 year old children hopped up on sugar, just to ensure that the stinking cake is ROUND.
I'll sign it!! pass me that petition to end the horrors of ALL CCC's!!
Of course,if people would stop ASKING for us to make them, bakeries would stop making them.
Just sayin'..
*from a grocery store cake decorator who refuses to make CCC's!
@ heidi
Thanks for the link....you now owe me an ENTIRE bottle of tyleonl o.O
My husband and I say " DERBERGER!" anytime one of us misunderstands the other. This made me tear up I laughed to hard! Thanks for the laugh!
Me - What do you think this one is?
4 year old - Um, a cake?
Me - Yeah but what does it look like?
4YO - white cupcakes
Me - But as a whole?
4YO - Lots of cupcakes with a red squiggle
Me - It's meant to be a baseball
4YO - Oh dear god no, that is not a baseball! This is a baseball (points at baseball shirt) and that is just a mess with too much frosting.
When a 4 year old tells you you're using too much frosting you know you have a problem.
Just found your blog for the first time today. I logged on for a few minutes and stayed for 4 hours. It is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I think it could be a replacement for exercise. I laughed so hard I feel like I did 100 crunch sit-ups.
I have already told 3 people about it. I will be back tomorrow and every day after that!!!
I've never bought a CCC, but I've often wondered ... does the icing stay on the appropriate cupcake when they are pulled apart? Or do you end up with half-necked CC when the adjacent CC pulls it off?
Hilarious. I love it!
Leah xx
gwendolynloves.blogspot.com
From Reece (hubby of Vanessa):
If one cupcake is 2.75 inches in diameter, that gives it an area of 5.9 square inches. Thus a CCC that's 36 inches across would be 324 square inches and take roughly 171 cupcakes.
From Vanessa:
I still say that's way too many hyper 5 year olds for one birthday party!
:)
What the....?
Who invented cupcake cakes?
Can we find them and kill them?
Or at least prevent them from breeding...
And as for the only ccc's at school rule... guess what, kiddies?
Life isn't fair. Sometimes you will get the smallest bit. Sometimes you'll get the biggest bit.
Learning to deal with is all part of growing up.
You'll soon learn to be at the front of the line, so you always get the biggest bit ;-)
(for those out there all touchy and pc and sensitive, this is a joke! I'm skinny, a geek, frizzy haired, brown skinned, part aboriginal, part irish, part romany- ask me about being left out picked on. It's in my genes, man!)
Shez
I think it's to the hamburger's benefit that it doesn't look remotely like a burger. It means it looks like yummy cake, which is more than you can say for most cakes based on meat.
Is it me, or does the burger cake look like it has toothpaste on it?
That third "cake" looked like a poop hotdog.. yuck! The first one would either induce a diabetic coma on anyone even attempting to eat it let alone feed it to a five year old who would probably never sleep again thanks to the frosting. Those CCC's should be banned lol.
The Sparta/hamburger cake is quite the thing to behold! Is that straight frosting on the top? OMG!
Did anyone else notice that the "hamburger" cake has what I can only assume is supposed to be lettuce piped with a rose leaf tip?
And really why not make 2 dozen cupcakes that each look like a baseball than wreck the heck out of it.
I have no idea what that last one is. TEnnis racquet and something?
I saw turkey drumsticks for the last one...Of course if they were brown that would make much more sense :P
My 4 year old looking over my shoulder asked if the hamburger was a chocolate couch.
OMG, thank you so much for a great laugh this morning. The link to the Pink Panther was just the frosting on the morning laugh.
The stitching is flat out wrong for a baseball. It's not a zigzag stitch, like on the cake, but a special stitch which pulls the leathers together. (http://images.google.com/images?q=baseball stitch)
It's a good thing you mentioned that the red cake was Spiderman. At first glance, I thought it was something to do with a bikini.
The first cake has a name on it, so someone ordered a baseball CCC. Unless they ordered cupcake baseballs, and putting red icing baseball stitches on SO MANY cupcakes was just too overwhelming for the bakery, so they turned it into a CCC.
Laughing so hard I'm crying.. not bad for a Monday morning - Thanks!!!
How many cupcakes would it take to make a circle? I'm very much tempted to try it myself.
And what would be the result if someone tried (egads) _cutting_ the cupcakes to fit?
"If there's one thing I've learned from Cake Wrecks over the past 22 months, it's that Epcot is a thing not to be trifled with."
Yeah yeah, you SAY that, but we all know you are secretly making an epic post consisting of nothing but actual wrecks of Epcot. =P
@anon 12:41 PM: to smash cupcakes into a round tin to bake would make the cupcakes stuck together. doesn't that defeat the purpose of an easy to pull apart CCC? though with the icing they glob on it at bakeries, maybe it's not so easy after all.
They only bake together in shape and just barely stick to each other. You simply lift them straight up off the board and they come apart very easily. I discovered this method when my son begged for a CCC. I figured, if I HAD to do one, it was at least going to look decent.
You could easily make a circle on CCCs if you sketch out a perfect icing circle and colour the curvy bits that fall outside the circle on individual cupcakes with a different coloured icing. Its not rocket surgery.
All these horrendous ccc's make me wonder if it is possible to make a good one and if i should try to be the person that does.... promise to send a photo when i fail ;)
Why would you make a cupcake cake if all you want is a round cake? They make regular round cake pans for that!
To me that "hamburger" looks like a charred hot dog in a really big hot dog bun, and instead of topping it with normal toppings on it, the baker put randomly sized Christmas lights on it. Or maybe just some leaves and red and yellow french fries on it.