Thursday
Mar182010
It's Life, Jim, But Not As We Know It
March 18, 2010 We can always count on our Wreckporters to explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations, and boldly submit some of the rarest wreck species ever seen.
Like the skinnileg piglet nervosia, or "South American Worried Grasshopper Pig:"
Thankfully, this one is saying "Oink!" so we can differentiate between the Grasshopper Pig and the Machu Picchu Googly-Eyed Hot Dog.
The hippopotamus runoverus, or the "Peruvian Pink Pan-Flattened Hippo Dragon:"
The pepto hallucinatus, or "What You See in Your Dreams After You Eat Sausage Pepperoni Pizza Before Bed:"
This friendly guy, the runfor yourlife itsa tarantula withrabies, or the "Chilean Snuggly Bug:"
And finally, the quackae lasiks caterpillarus, or "Someone Should Probably Go Ahead and Call an Exterminator... and an Eye Doctor."
Ryan S., Jill B., Seth W., Stephanie B., and Anne R., you must be awesomus wreckporterus!
Related wreckage: Creepy Crawly Cakes
Reader Comments (101)
I love that they had to write "oink" next to the pig so that we'd know what it was.
Today's post is hilarious! You always brighten my day!!
LOVE the Star Trek tie-in! I knew it was going to be good from the moment I saw the title!
Those are some of THE scariest things I've ever seen... I've followed your blog for a long time, but this is the first one I actually had to comment on! GOOD GRIEF! It's like a psychotic Dr. Seuss book or something! These I would probably be afraid to eat.
Love the Trek reference too. Nice one.
I think what's most amazing is that so many of these are proudly sitting in plastic cases in a display cabinet when they're captured in pixels.
Some decorator looked at them and thougt "Good enough to sell, if not to eat!"
Is there actually any cake under all that icing?
I thought the exclamation point was a 'y', so I read the "Oink!" as "Dinky" - which was even more confusing.
Am I the only one who thinks there are some amazing potential band names in today's post?
Based on the paw prints next to the tarantula with rabies I would have to guess that it just ate a puppy for lunch!
"He's dead, Jim."
Yeah, you could pretty much say that about every single one of these cakes. South American Worried Grasshopper Pig cracked me up XD
Why are there dog prints beside the Chilean Snuggly Bug? Why is he foaming at the mouth??
WHERE'S MY DOG?!
I can hear Kirk now...
"Scotty! We...need...more...icing!"
WF-smong This post is smong my favorites!
I imagine this is what it would look like if Woozles had thalidomide babies.
They... they all scare me.
Chilean Snuggly Bug! Hahahahaha.
Perplexus maximus.
I was pretty sure that the "hippopotamus runoverus" was a sad little armadillo. But hippopotamus works!
Just wondering what happened to the cake board under the last cake...
Are these cakes made by blind people?
I will see the grasshopper-pig in my nightmares.
And I must now go listen to "Star Trekkin'" by The Firm.
"There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow. There's Klingons on the starboard bow; scrape 'em off, Jim!"
If they were looking to inspire terror with the tarantula cake, then bang on. I think that's the first actually terrifying halloween cake I've seen (if that's what they were going for...which, as we know, might very well NOT be the case).
Set phasers to "kill"
Wow would you like some cake with your icing? ;P
I want a bright yellow chick with a pink unibrow, especially if it comes on wonky cakeboards!
http://agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com
I just could help but laugh out loud because of todays post! Hilarious!
As a vet, I feel compelled to point out that neither tarantulas nor "Chilean snuggly bugs" can get rabies - it's strictly a mammalian disease. Perhaps it's not foam we see at the chelae, but the pathetic remains of an unlucky dwarf. If only there was a burglar around to save it!
That said, these cakes are pretty darn awful. Or at least, these mounds of frosting are pretty darn awful. I think someone needs to prove they actually contain cake.
The Chilean Snuggly Bug is amazing. I almost want to decorate cakes to see what amazing things I can create.
Awesome as always, Jen & John.
arabelle
www.todhuntertastic.blogspot.com
Judging from the pawprints surrounding the Chilean Snuggly Bug, I believe it was supposed to be a dog. However, if it was supposed to be a dog, it looks like it is foaming at the mouth. I'd take a Chilean Snuggly Bug over a rabid dog any day of the week.
heidrance - That song popped into my head the minute I read the title!
wv - awsms: These are somes awsms wrecks.
I realize that cake decorators must get their training and experience somewhere, but do they have to inflict it on the bakery-shopping public? Can't they practice with spackling compound and Styrofoam? Don't these stores have managers with any brains whatsoever? Why ... why ... why?!?!
Tricia
On every one of today's wrecks, I had to wonder if they're all frosting. And to that I say: BLEH!
@ 8:11 AM PST * 'Cuz this was not here when I read all the comments, but ...
DMMT, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a cake decorator!
"Chilean Snuggly Bug" - the commentary is just hil-ar-ious as usual.
Thanks! (still snorting to self in laughter)
Is the 'chilean snuggly bug' supposed to be a rabid dog? I saw the paw prints and the foam around the mouth, that was my first thought. Maybe it's a call of action by Vets to get your dogs' their rabies vaccines.
OH NO..... it's MANBEARPIG!!!
I love these creatures--as long as they stay trapped in my computer.
I do have a question (What, just one?), what is the random green stuff on both cake number 2 and 5?
And another thing? Is seeing a pastel armadillo the same thing as seeing a pink elephant?
And where can we scrape off a ton of icing before eating without causing a toxic waste incident?
WV today may be prophetic imakerpe
I just have to say, "There's Klingons on the starboard side!"
-Julie
I don't care what anyone says; I think that the third thing down (wearing a pink straitjacket and a Simpsonesque expression) is cute. CUTE, I say!!
Look at that face!! So innocent-looking...so hopeful...
Sadly, we all KNOW that it is not REALLY in a "cake container". We all KNOW what is coming next....
It's just that I thought that they had outlawed euthanasia by gas chamber...
=^<..>^=
I love your knack for naming new species. Your next book could have a huge chapter devoted to "alternative life forms."
Meanwhile, what's with the yellow random highlighting? kinda tough to read *squints at monitor*
have to ask my kids the "what do you think THAT is" questions....
what do icing colors like these do to poop? there's something to be said for poop colored icing when contemplating ingesting Pepto Pink or Neon Yellow...
"Chilean Snuggly Bug"...I think I figured it out...it's supposed to be a lion...not sure why the green eyes- but I do find it interesting that it has sloth-like "paws". There's no way the paw prints were made by this creature.
As a side note - I'm sure the foaming rabies residue is actually supposed to be teeth but this bakery evidently does not carry enough icing tips.
I think the pepto hallucinatus is kinda adorable. I can't imagine ever NEEDING a cake shaped like a self-satisfied pig giving itself a hug while wearing two white pieces from the game Sorry on its head, but still...
Captain Picard: To seek out new life forms!
*Sees Cakewrecks*
Captain Picard: . . . Not those life forms. Get us out of here, warp 10!
Really funny today... really darn funny!!!
awww, the Chilean SnugglyBug just wants to be friends.
*shudder*
(there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow)
Thanks for pointing out it said Oink. I was reading it as Dink.
@msyendor: "DMMT, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a cake decorator!"
WIN. XD
Chilean Snuggly Bug medical update, Dr. McCoy.
"It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;
it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead."
I'm pretty sure this must be the inspiration for many of these...creatures.
Star Trekkin by The Firm/Dr. Demento Show
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCARADb9asE
I LIVE FOR YOUR POSTS! THANK YOU FOR THE BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER!!!
♥ ! SUE
"Star Trekkin' across the universe/On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk!/Star Trekkin' across the universe/Always going forward since we can't find reverse!"
Are you sure it doesn't say "Dink"?!