Thursday
Mar182010
It's Life, Jim, But Not As We Know It
March 18, 2010 We can always count on our Wreckporters to explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations, and boldly submit some of the rarest wreck species ever seen.
Like the skinnileg piglet nervosia, or "South American Worried Grasshopper Pig:"
Thankfully, this one is saying "Oink!" so we can differentiate between the Grasshopper Pig and the Machu Picchu Googly-Eyed Hot Dog.
The hippopotamus runoverus, or the "Peruvian Pink Pan-Flattened Hippo Dragon:"
The pepto hallucinatus, or "What You See in Your Dreams After You Eat Sausage Pepperoni Pizza Before Bed:"
This friendly guy, the runfor yourlife itsa tarantula withrabies, or the "Chilean Snuggly Bug:"
And finally, the quackae lasiks caterpillarus, or "Someone Should Probably Go Ahead and Call an Exterminator... and an Eye Doctor."
Ryan S., Jill B., Seth W., Stephanie B., and Anne R., you must be awesomus wreckporterus!
Related wreckage: Creepy Crawly Cakes
Reader Comments (101)
OMG! I LIVE FOR YOUR POSTS AND LAUGH TILL I CRY. Thank you for the best Birthday present ever!
♥ Love you, love cake.♥
~Sue
I thought the top one said DINK LOL
Umm...I hate to tell you, but it looks like the brown poo creatures have mutated to pinks and yellows!
OMG You just totally went up several more notches on my "like" list (not that I didn't really like this before!) as soon as I saw the blog title! I LOVE that song!
*breaks into song "Star Trekkin', across the universe..."*
Yikes! Many of these creatures seem to have pooped on their cake boards!
I could swear that the sticker on the Hippopotamus runoverus actually reads "PASTEL AMARILLO". Am I seeing things, or have they even "wrecked" the printed label?
Do all Chilean Snuggly Bugs have rabies?
so where's the tribble cake?
these are all quite cute, except the poo monstery thing
Thanks, I needed a good laugh this morning.
McCoy: "Damnit Jim! I'm a doctor, not a wreckorator! I came aboard to practice medicine, not to have a pepto hallucinatus!"
gosh, I was hoping to see a tribble-like cake.
I'm SO glad I'm not the only one who flashed to Star Trekkin'! LOL!
Some days I just shake my head and wonder, "What were they thinking??!?" and then I sadly realize that they weren't. ::sigh::
The Latin speaker and the scientist in me are highly amused by the scientific names. The geek in me is amused by the trek reference. ^_^
Actually, I believe it says "Pastel Amarillo". I have no explanation for that.
Wow! How did you know that hallucinatous pepto bismal thing WAS IN MY DREAMS after thoes late-night pizza take-outs? Eh? You guys must be real awesome sneaks! :)
I just wanted to say that it isn't very fair that all the cakes in my local bakeries are boring and overpriced, and nothing (ok, well, you know, *very few thigs*) would land me a place, here. Worry-eth not, though: I will continue my noble search for the flattened hippo/dragon delight in my local bakeries' cake cases. I'm sure cakes likes these (and *worse*, the people who make them?!) are all around us, and we can all find the local wrecks in our cities if we reach out far enough to follow our DREAMS!? *sniff!* :) Great post, as always!
You have the BEST sense of humor! Thanks for the belly laughs and coffee snots you give us every day. These are hilarious.
@Qatie, I guess the poor hapless dwarf's beard was the only thing the snuggly bug couldn't manage to swallow!
@Laura, I think "pastel amarillo" is Spanish for yellow cake/pastry.
Maybe that caterpillar was something else before it went through the wormhole? Or maybe somebody's been playing with the transporter beam again?
wv: fangstr, as in That Chilean creature's fangstr up fear in all who behold it!
I knew my daughter was a true Cake Wrecks aficionado when she took one look at the Worried Grasshopper pig, laughed at the captions and said "Yeah, and what's up with those mittens?" Now if I can only stop singing "Star Trekkin'" (Star Trekkin' across the universe. Only going forwards 'cause we can't find reverse. There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow..)
Haha. I thought the first one said, "Dink" instead of "Oink" at first. That would have been more appropriate.
OMG!! I was reading these while trying to finish my sandwich and it was, almost, not pretty!! Keep 'em coming!
I'm willing to give the last cake the title of "caterpillar" (probably because I just saw the new "Alice in Wonderland" movie last night), but it's not a well-made one and I can't even begin to tell what the rest of these are supposed to be. It's bad when you have to write a speech bubble to indicate what your "cake art" represents.
"Chilean Snuggly Bug" made me LOL.
WARNING- this post may be more gross than these cakes!!
I'm currently wiping nasal mucous off my screen and keyboard since I'm sick in bed with a sinus infection. Apparently, laughing triggers coughs and sneezes- who knew?
I'd never heard of that song before and thank you jengersnap for posting the link...I now need dry sheets as, yes, I wet the bed laughing...
Jen, please don't charge me for the "medicine" of laughter since I'd go broke over this brilliant site!! As a former cake decorator I can only assume these people are on crack. That's my professional opinion but I won't bill you for it. :)
Barbara Anne
Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a crazed zoologist!
STAR-TREKKIN', ACROSS THE UNIVERSE!!!
The Chilean Snuggle-Bug is my favorite. I want one for my birthday. In case anyone was wondering what to get me.
The name "runfor yourlife itsa tarantula withrabies" was what got me LOL'ing. :D
Actually the hippo is apparently an armadillo; read the label on the box. Even more appalling....
It's hard to believe that any of these are professional cakes. And it's kind of sad. You'd expect this out of my kitchen... Not something you'd pay for. I've gotten better cakes at Walmart bakery. LOL!
Si. Pastel Amarillo translates to yellow cake according to Google.
Tricia
I don't know what the heck those are supposed to be, but I don't want to even touch any of them. Seriously creepy!
I'm now imagining each of the wrecks as the mock ups for the "guy in a rubber suit" acting as the "Monster of the Week" a la the Horta/Gorn etc.
Killing off the required number of hapless Red Shirts, scaring either Uhura or Chapel into bosom-heaving coniptions, before either Spock mindmelds/Vulcan nerve pinches it, Bones cures it or Kirk has sex with it....
Or all of the above.
WV: outing: too, too easy.
Aww. I think they're cute. The last in the sequence makes me think of a Pokemon. :)
Funny, funny. Thanks!
It does NOT say "pastel armadillo." I don't know what the first word is, but the second is Amarillo, not armadillo. That's a place in Texas, for all you Yankees and other furriners.
LOLO
Is the South American Worried Grasshopper wearing slippers or extremely large earrings? Do grasshoppers have ears?
I think my glasses need fixing.. or do my eyes really see what I think they are? Horribly colored cakes that wreckerators are claiming to be animals of some sort. They really must be of the Star Trek universe lol. I would run screaming if anyone brought these home.
Pore ole hippo, flattened beneath the blueberry tree!
To Laurie:
Yep, grasshoppers do have ears...in their knees.
@ BillyD:
AYUP! I'm one of them damn New England Yankee ferriners, but I still know how to read, and it says "PASTEL ARMARILLO."
And I know this is a stretch, but looky what I done found: (!)
amarilloartinstitute.org/... /adult-art-classes/pastels
So put that in yer piping bag and decorate it!
=^~.-^=
LOL! These are some of the most awesome "species" of cakes ever! Star Trek quote...too perfect...
I have one request--could you please capitalize the genus in the Latin names? Like in Awesomus wreckporterus!
I tried to let it pass...the obsessive compulsive (anal retentive?) in me is making me say that scientific names when written are italicized (or underlined) and the genus is capitalized, but the species and subspecies are lowercase. Example:
"pepto hallucinatus" (my favorite) ideally would read "Pepto hallucinatus". Also "Skinnileg piglet nervosia". Thank you. I'll step down now.
@sendingtheclowns:
Ya goll darn backwoods yokel hayseed hick! Thought you said you could read! That's supposed to be: "Pastel AMARILLO," not "ARMARILLO"!
And ya got yorsef a deeploma!?! Gawd.
=^e.e^=
Off-topic, I know, but I haven't seen any mention of http://thefump.com/fump.php?id=1279" rel="nofollow">Wreckin' By the Book (The Cake Wrecks Song) here yet.
Was it mentioned someplace where I missed it, or do wreckerators not follow The FuMP?
@arensb
You aren't the only one who enjoyed "Wreckin' by the Book." That song is the reason I'm here. By "here," of course, I mean "at this site," not "in existence."
Sorry Jim, no intelligent life out there. We now have proof.
LOVE the title! I'm thinking these creatures are even more frightening than the titular pizza-like monster.
I follow your blog for sometime now and I adore your coments. This particular ones made me laugh sooooooo hard, it's one of the best! I also adore the wedding cake wrecks, it's amazing to see how far people are from what is asked and from reality itself.
Once again, you have successfully made my world a better place. Today, it was courtesy of the 'runforyourlifeitsatarantulawithrabies'. :)
I wept last night reading this... tears of joy, of course. LOVE IT!
Machu Picchu Googly-Eyed Hot Dog = beverage out my nose. Pepto Hallucinatus = I'm glad I'm not alone. Also, the commenter that said the cakes look like the thalidomide babies of Woozles, you're my new best friend.
Bwahahahaha! Chilean Snuggly Bug! That's awesome. I'm a Chilean and I love that. :)