Tuesday
Nov232010
Totally Stuffed
November 23, 2010 Alright, turkeys, ya fat blobs of fowl: ASSUME THE POSITION!
No, no, you're all too stiff! Look alive, now - get those legs out! Spread eagle!
Good, now, hold it - hooold it...
Aaaaand...breathe.
Good work.
Well, except for you, Tom:
Seriously, Tom, we have got to work on those legs.Ok, now that we're all warmed up, let's get right to today's topic: "purging" your "stuffing."
My friends, this is not the answer.
Neither are explosive clean-outs:
Look, we all know these displays are distasteful, so let's stop the cycle of shame!
To this:
(He assures us it's an improvement.)Thanks to Libbie M., Beth G., Stevi A., Maida S., Gina B., Corie I., & Rebecca, who are convinced the Ackbar turkey is a trap.
Reader Comments (79)
I guess it's sort of brave for people who've never seen a turkey to try to replicate one with cake.
Ill-advised, but brave.
I can't remember ever seeing a cake on here that I wouldn't at least try (particularly if it was chocolate), but the greenish zombie turkey turns my stomach.
Wow. Just... wow. Wreck #1 & #3 are both green. Yuck! And is #6 really supposed to be a turkey?? And why would you want to have a "cooked turkey" cake anyway??? These wreckorators have gone to the dark side of the force.
I always look forward to the Thanksgiving turkey cooked by my Grandmother. Thank God her turkey looks and tastes so very much better than these hideous cakes.
As the first poster said, ill-advised. Very ill-advised.
*LAUGHS*
The Admiral Ackbar turkey is the best!
Hahaha "It;s a trap!" The resemblance is striking!
The Admiral Akbar bit was hilarious. "Don't eat it! It's a trap!"
WV: "Martar." As in, "You'd have to be a 'martar' to eat one of these cakes."
I love how your posts always take me gradually from "wow, that's pretty ugly," to "ick, hideous," through "for the love of all that is - surely it can't get any worse!!" and finally, "AAAAAUGH!!! MY EYES!!! My EYES!!!! AAAAAAAUGH!!!!!"
I don't understand why someone needs to have a cake shaped like a turkey for Thanksgiving when you already have...a turkey.
Surely there are better designs for a festive table!
OMG, I want to throw up. Not hungry anymore, least of all for cake. So thanks.
On the "explosive" turkey -- well, at least the chrysanthemums are really well done.
Is #3 an alien turkey? Otherwise it needs to see the business end of a trash can because it's WAY past its expiration date!
I must remember not to check this site at breakfast.
what's better than poo cake?
Poo turkeys!
ugh.
WV: Canollo. I threw my turkey cake down the canollo.
Maybe one of these is vying for a second chance at being our nation's National Bird.
Naw...
mocking
Admiral Ackbar... Aheh. Aheheh. AheheHEHeheh. Aheh.
WV - comah: Seeing these turkey wrecks put me in a food comah without the benefit of actually having eaten anything... X_X
The "TOM" Turkey looks like it went bad like 2 years ago, even the stuffing looks moldy. YUCKKKKK :P
And besides, that first turkey is RAW! Who would put that on the table? Sam'n'Ella, that's who!
For some reason I love the "Roasted Turkey Cake" sign. First of all, because if the whole lot I think that one needs the most identification help. Also, when you put it that way I assume it's somehow...turkey flavored cake perhaps?
I like to think that turkey cakes are for vegetarians (with a sweet tooth ;)) and THESE turkey cakes...? Are for turning everyone else vegetarian as well. I know if someone showed me one of these and said "that's a turkey!" I'd be hesitant to ever eat one again :P
Wow. Those are flipping disgusting.
#6 is the TRON: Legacy Turkey Light Cycle cake. Am I right or am I right?
hahahahahaaa!!! you killed me with the Ackbar cake! I love it! :D
The second lot of cakes look all ready for a gynaecological examination.
The fact that "Admiral Ackbar" there is shooting laser beams just, um, takes the cake.
These are the worst looking cakes ever in the history of the universe.
The end.
Those are the best wrecks ever.... why have real turkey when you can have cake??? *LOL*
IT'S A CAKE!!!
I think...
@Lauren H: You can wash down that cake with turkey-and-gravy soda from Jones. http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2003-11-26-turkey-gravy-soda_x.htm And apparently they've also come up with a Tofurky and gravey verssion for vegans. http://www.myjones.com/store/limited-edition-tofurkey-and-gravy-jonoes-soda.html I've tried the former, and believe me, you're better off with the cakes.
Good lord. I know that the wrecks are often hideous and always WTF-worthy, but its hard to make cake, sweet delicious cake, look unappetizing. However, these turkeys (especially those who are in the process of losing their stuffing) have managed to inspire the gag reflex in this hungry reader. Disgusting!
I have to agree with Katie... I don't understand the why behind the turkey cakes. Especially these, which are, I'm guessing, supposed to be cooked-turkey cakes.
The Akbar shift? *mwa* Magnifique!
#3 actually has the little pop-up thermometer in it. Someone went to the trouble of putting a fake thermometer in the turkey and then made CURLY wings???? And pitiful little LEGS??????
And, yes, I wondered what the very brown one was--TRON Legacy Turkey Light Cycle is the perfect description.
The others I simply prefer not to think about but thanks for putting Admiral Ackbar in my head. Now I'll never be able to look at a roast turkey again without thinking of him. Sigh. ;-)
None of these turns my stomach as much as last year's shiny turkey cake with grapes and caramels for stuffing. Caramels, Nurmel! CARAMELS!
...does Tom / cake #3 have a nipple??? (well, I kinda hope for him he actually has two)
Seriously, what is that thing on his chest supposed to be? Are American turkeys different that way?
I love the Star Wars references! Not so keen on the cakes, however.
I almost had yogurt all over my monitor when I got to the stuffing purge cakes! Oh my gosh. So gross! Thanks for the laugh and have a Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving! (full of yummy foods that are actually pleasing to the eye as well as the palate)
I don't like cake anymore.
A CAKE...made in the shape...of a...TURKEY?!?!?!!???!!!!!
What on EARTH is THAT all about?????
and before you start - even an English person knows that Thanksgiving celebrations involve turkey, but TURKEY CAKES AS WELL????
Sheesh...
Ewwww,EWWWWW, EWWWWWWWWWWW. Enough said.
What is the purpose of a cake that looks like a turkey?
WV: unsin. The wreckorators tried to make turkeycakes sight unsin.
You know, I now look at all the cakes in grocery store bakeries and WalMart and where ever cakes gather to be decorated, hoping to find something awful enough to land me on CAKE WRECKS.
Now isn't that a sort of sarcastic approach to life? I ask you.
Of course it suits me perfectly. LOL
Turkey is both the best and the worst things about thanksgiving, and this post really illustrates it.
Turkey cakes are dangerous... thawing turkeys is dangerous too. Those things are solid ice and often look worse than these sugary treats!
Lol, poo cake with tuna salad stuffing! Forget the pumpkin pie, Ma, here's dessert!
Cake wrecks 5-7 made me shift uncomfortably in my chair. Just...ew.
The first two just made me think of Eraserhead. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBpd5xy-vCY
Come to think of it, some of the later ones did too.
Anonymous @ 10:06 -- I totally agree. Typical CW processing - semi-ok (well, maybe), to bad, to worse. Love it!
I am astounded by what people in other areas find in their cake departments. I must live in a CW-free zone. (I THINK I'm happy about that)
The one spewing marshmallows (#4) appears to be created out of the icky winter squash rather than cake -- followed by a burnt 'roasted turkey' (#6)?? What are those things on the side? As General Akbar showed up, are those Princess Leia side-curls in sympathy??
In defense of most -- the flowers are really well done. About as well-done as the first 'bird' is NOT. Is that more 'cake' representing other foods next to it? Please tell me it's not.
I am now thanking the pilgrims for leaving cake off the menu at a traditional feast and utilizing the appropriateness of pie.
~~Di
ps.. love the double entendre' of 'stuffed' for these wrecks.
No turkey cakes. NO!
*bleck*
"It's a TRIP(tophen)"
ugh, that last "turkey" made me want to skip thanksgiving this year!
Eeeewwww. It's a really bad idea for a pregnant lady in her first trimester (complete with constant nausea) to look at those really nasty turkey cake pictures, as I've just discovered. And, if you have to make a turkey cake, why add explosive stuffing all over the bottom? These wreckerators really have their creative juices flowing:)
wv: gueto
These cakes are so gueto.
Looks like they were made with, you know, longing. Made by a person really longed to see a turkey.
Perhaps because they'd only heard of them by rough description.
Wow, gotta love cake #6. "...the leg bone's connected to the - WING bone..." Hahahahah! Seriously, what's with the dookie swirl wings?