Don't Mansion It
October 30, 2010 Welcome, foolish mortals, to the haunted mansion. I am your host. Your...GHOST....host.
And....I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie,No other specter can deny,
When a ghoul walks in...
Hm? Oh. (Ahem.) Sorry.
Our tour begins here, in this bowling alley.
As you can see, we have pins and needles to spare. (Muah-ha-haa! Puns killed me.)
Ah, but your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding - almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis:
Are these ghosts actually stretching?
Or have they been run over?
Also, what's the deal with this guy?
And consider this dismaying observation:
Strong spirits are a leading cause of gingivitis.
(Look it up.)
We have 999 happy haunts here, but there's room for a thousand.
Any volun...
David, I'm trying to spiel here. Do you mind?
"Is this real life?"No, David, this is real death. Run along, now.My apologies.
As I was saying, we find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running Chills!
The Chills are our resident track team.
Now, as they say, "look alive," and we'll conclude our little tour.
"QUICK! Mall security is coming!"Sunny R., Ticara G., Kartrina R., Jill M., Janet, Annette D., Brady, Jenna A., H.M., & Heidi Y., your ghosts will haunt you until you return...all that stuff they took.
Reader Comments (86)
Love the Haunted Mansion lines in this post! You did a great job! :)
I love the reference to David! My sister had nose surgery (cuz her sinuses were all messed up) and she was just like that! Man, if we had only had a video camera at the ready..... [devilish laugh]
I'm the first commenter this morning? I guess no one is awake yet, except Jen. LOL!
I thought the first cake was the ice cream on a Dairy Queen soft serve cone, until I scrolled down further.
The 7th cake is a poo ghost rather than a boo ghost.
The 8th cake - well, I didn't think that sperm had anything to do with Halloween. Or fish, for that matter.
Great post, as usual! You spoil us, Jen!
As a huge fan of the Haunted Mansion, so I absolutely loved this post! Awesome!!!
I love that you are a Disney geek and that evidence of this gets worked into posts from time to time.
ha! The sperm cake almost made me spit my chicken and broccoli pasta leftover breakfast onto my computer screen.
Haha I loved reading this, imagining Paul Frees narrating it! Gotta love Disney :)
Unboolievable.
Really.
The big butted ghost whooo first appears... he's really cute.
#2, not so much. #3 -- I think someone altered Bigfoot's foot? #4 - um. Uh. Moving on.
I didn't think spider webs could catch onto a non-solid. Ghostly. And a random jellybean. *snort*
I'm still trying to figure out the orange 'glow' around Mr gingivitis toothy ghost.
Real death... cute. Forget cross eyed - this poor critter died when his eyes stuck like that, just like his mom told him they would! Ultimate horror.
The cookie - the cookiecake comes just about on a par of patooie for me as the dreaded CCC. This wreckerator has obviously never seen a real ghost, only Caspar, who does wander about with legs. Anyone else ever wonder why he gets legs?
Orange, yellow, and blue WHAT??? Mini cupcake PULL-APARTS?? Go pull your own parts, please.
Last ghost -- he's too busy being scared to scare anoyone.
Thanks for the ghostly giggles!!
~~Di
Haunted Mansion FTW!
Lol, white blob with black dots to represent eyes and mouth. Got yourself a ghost right there. Except the coloured one, which looked like little sperm going round in a circle... ew... now THAT is going to haunt my nightmares
I've watched so many run-throughs of the Haunted Mansion on YouTube, I picked up immediately; otherwise, I would not have noticed. Kudos for awesome reference, Jen. Kudos indeed.
Is it wrong that I find these adorable? 'Specially the shoplifting ghost. And kudos for the Haunted Mansion reference!
Hurry baaack... hurry baaaaack... Don't forget your - wreck - certificate. :)
Hey, I'm sure low motility is scary, especially when the news comes on Halloween...
I like the first one. :D And the Haunted Mansion wins all. My favorite ride at Disney.
WV: gasesses, what real ghosts are made of, what those ghosts will give you
I'm not sure what's worse -- these cakes or the fact that The Boob Nazi eats chicken and broccoli pasta leftovers for breakfast.
WV: pardeme -- Pardeme while I go find something more tasty than broccoli for breakfast.
Loved the Haunted Mansion references. <3
Best blog post ever.
<3 Haunted Mansion <3
I like that first ghost, it's cute.
I want the piece with the Tootsie Rolls!
Just love the Haunted Mansion references... I make a motion to eliminiate all CCCs. Anyone second the motion?
BONUS DAY!
YES!!!!!
Thank you. You're so awesome. This week, I got to show your blog to two people who had never seen it before. I LOVE doing that because the first time anyone sees Cakewrecks, they always laugh until they have to excuse themselves to the restroom.
Love the Haunted Mansion lines! Haha! :)
LMAO even my 3-yo didn't know that the last one is supposed to be a ghost! LOL
That ghost baby got SCARY back, whew! (Yes, I am unfamiliar with Haunted Mansion, but Sir Mix-A-Lot and I go waaaay back, heh.)
I have worked seasonally at WDW's Mansion for 6 years and this post is completely and totally amazing. I will be scaring small children for the wonderfully hellish week at Disney between Christmas and New Year's. Come and visit!!
The one with the orange sprinkles looks kinda delicious. Or like it's suffering from measles.
I like that shoplifting ghost too.At least it has candy on it.
OMG! I can't believe these are for sale! LMAO
For my (some big number) birthday my sister ordered a cake from Safeway, the major local grocery store.
In the custom wording "your" was requested by my sister. We got "yor". And that was the corrected cake. I'll see if I can find the pic.
Hm. I've never heard of this "Haunted Mansion" -- from reading the comments I'm assuming it's a ride at Disney? Anyway, so all of THAT aspect of the post went straight over my head. That probably explains the bits that I didn't understand, or didn't find funny...
But it was all made up for by the shoplifting ghost. Love the look on his face!!
what's with the sperm cake? "happy halloween, oh, and good luck with trying to get pregnant. we hear you've been having trouble conceiving."
ugh. yecch.
Reading this made me want to ride the "Haunted Mansion"!!!
I tried to read the text in Paul Frees' voice but I kept getting distracted by the pictures.
Love it Jen!!!
We're getting ready to head off to Disneyland in about an hour for one more dose of Nightmare Haunted Mansion!!!
Look alive, looks like sperm circling. Yikes!
Strong spirits are a leading cause of gingivitis.
MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!! XD
Oh yes, I'm that lame. The whole post is made of WIN and that joke is the one that made me laugh aloud so that my dorm mates now probably think I confused the dates and actually started drinking today... :3
Dude, the sperm. Ghosts start out as people, and they have to start SOMEWHERE.
Jen - I think I love you! This was awesome!!
he's climbin in your windows snatchin your people up trying to wreck em so you need to hide your kids hide your wife and hide your husband cuz they wrecking everybody out here...............
Love, love, love the Haunted Mansion! In fact, wearing my Haunted Mansion t-shirt today for a little Halloween spirit! LOVE!!!!
Haha!
oh my. a bonus Saturday post *AND* it's one of the funniest *Ever*?? Jen and John, you are too good to us. You have *made* my day!
Ghost number 4
...is, in fact not a ghost.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXZN9S7a5xk
see?
1. The 1st ghost actually IS pretty cute.
2. Cupcake wreckorators should be taken out and shot behind the bakery.
3. What the heck do rainbow colored sperm have to do with Halloween? ;-P
I LOVE this! And I LOVE you for this! Thanks!
OK. I actually love that shoplifting ghost. (It's that expression on it's face, "where are the security spooks?") And I think in the case of "ghosts" CCCs actually work. Unlike the rainbow spoo ghosts.
Hahaha :D These are actually kind of cute, in a sheepish sort of way!
I went to Disneyland Paris once, and the Haunted Mansion was both hilarious and scared me witless! I love Disney!
The "ghost" with legs is clearly NT a ghost but a mummy...
Not a good mummy, but a mummy none the less...
Or, maybe my whole outlook on like is skewered because of that HORRIBLE MEALOAF BABY....... BWAAHHHH
I will enverbe the same. (My husband said a little change is not really such a bad idea in my case...)
Anonymous @ 4:45,
I was thinking the exact same thing! Ghost 4 really does look like one of Don Hertzfeldt's cloud guys.
P.S. This really has nothing to do with the post but my v.w. today was "duckswar". No lie.
I have no mouth and yet I must BOOOOOOOOO
Dismaying? Don't you mean dispiriting?