Tuesday
Sep082009
Multiple Choice Wrecks
September 8, 2009 The great thing about modern art is that the subject matter is often left open to interpretation. So for these cakey specimens, I figured I'd give you a few options:
a) a hairy alien hand, complete with '33' tattoob) minnows attacking a log in a mud puddle
c) a cactus, to show how "cuddly" Mandy is
c) a cactus, to show how "cuddly" Mandy is
a) a post-modern pearb) My 2nd-grade art project
c) an African "beer basket"
a) a diagram of a frog's reproductive systemb) a wishbone jumping rope
c) a T-bone steak
(Ok, that one was too easy; the inscription gave it away.)
a) salt and pepper shakersb) dumbbells in front of a giant graffiti-ed pickle
c) a skateboard
a) a gladiator sandal with extra arch supportb) Something the under-14 set really shouldn't be looking at
c) a corset? Er, I mean, a corset. Yeah.
Matthias, Anony, Teresa, Angela M., & Sydney W., here's a hint: The answer is always "c".
- Related Wreckage: Dastardly Dad Designs
Reader Comments (113)
On the Mandy one, what does "Xiy Xoun" mean, anyway?
I lost a few IQ points just looking at these!
Im sorry but the first and last just look like weird willys/ vibrators.
the T bone could be a map of the place their leaving or going to.
The second one is obviousley The Holy Hand grenade of Antioch, ( thrice shall be the nunber :O )
and the skatebooard thing is just mouldy and hideous, Never never try to "get with the kidz" in icing and sponge cake.
Does the T-Bone cake have a bunch of "@" signs on the side? Or are those tiny hammer/sickle combos? Is T-Bone going back in time to the USSR?
Good luck comrade! Have some Lenin cake when you get there!
Ummm...wow.
Hmmm...the last one, ( ummm...that the under 84 crowd shouldn't be looking at) appears that it had a very unfortunate accident where gangrene set in and a poor attempt at bandaging was made.
WV:qugsbylf - I believe that was the sound uttered when the "unfortunate accident" occurred.
What is up with the inscription on the last one? It looks like "Future Lowe Mrs." Fail!
Even If you say it's C, I'm still going with A on number one. The inscription really gives it away - Xiep Xorn?
OK, so the first one is arguably a cactus, clearly made by Rolling Rock (hence the "33" on it), and it's for Mandy. But why in the world does it say "Xiep Xorm" on it?
-jklGoDuke
I'll take Xiep Xorn for $300, Bob.
What DOES Mandy's inscription say? And what's a beer basket? And does it really say "Future Love Mrs."?
Enquiring minds want to know.
The 1st one is definitely a strip from when
Mandy got her last wax job.
huh. the t-bone cake looks like an IUD inside a uterus. but i probably still have c-section uterus on the brain ...
terry lee
The picture on the first one looks like a friend of mine who eats batteries.....
There really should be some kind of application-screening process for cake decorators. Seriously. Creativity can only go so far before it becomes something like that Corset Cake. Just because you can pipe frosting in cursive doesn't mean you should be allowed full access.
Congratulations on the new look, and extra kudos for managing to stay on good terms with your web designer. That's not an easy task.
And that "t-bone" looks like a diagram in an IUD pamphlet. Which would be a funny cake for a lady named Mirena, come to think of it...
What the heck does it say on the first one?
That second one looks at any of my failed attempts to be artsy in cake making, which is why I now buy all my cakes at Costco...they may be hideous, but the recipients fall into a sugar high so quickly, they soon forget how outrageous the cake looks!
And any parent with a skater kid or a skater poser (like mine was) can recognize the Element logo on the skateboard - so that gave it away...but hideous nonetheless.
And where the heck do you buy a corset like that? Might make for an interesting Halloween costume!
"here's a hint: The answer is always 'c'."
Wait, really? Or is that another joke?
OK, what on earth is an African "beer basket", and why have I never gotten one as a gift?
According to my 6-year-old, the cakes are:
1. A cactus
2. A pumpkin
3. A heart
4. Mushrooms
5. A tree
I'm still wondering what's written on the first cake, though.
The first one is one of those nose strip thingys, right?
Oh... C. M'kay, if you say so!
I believe the first cake says "Hiep Hoera", the cheer at the end of the Dutch version of the Happy Birthday song. Growing up in Belgium I was taught to write a capital H like that, though they're supposed to be wider so they don't look like Xs.
Thanks for giving me good laughs to start the day! Some days, though, it's a good thing I'm only drinking coffee and not eating before I look at your site ... yech!
Hey Jen,
Your links aren't working properly.
I'm trying to send you a cake wreck, and it won't let me.
These look like the results of a drunken frosting pictionary party.
I think number two is a tricked out garbage back.
And Good Grief is number two shiny. Like shellacked shiny.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
WOW! I don't think iv ever seen a skate bored that think before! And that pare thing! Dang! I don't think i could keep a strait face as i blew out the candles!
The second one looks like Joe Dirt's new wig.
I googled African beer basket,and darned if it doesn't look just like that cake! Now if i could only figure out what it's supposed to do. A basket's an unlikely place to keep beer--it'll all run out before you can drink it, yes?
Unfortunately, Googling Xiep Xoem did not help solve anything about that first cake--all the answers were in Chinese. I think the poster who mentioned Hiep Hoera may be onto something. At least there's a birthday connection there. And those do look like H's if you squint a little.
I think the first cake looks like a sex toy. Just sayin'.
When looking up what the hell an African Beer Basket was, I stumbled on the baker's site. There are a few other wrecktastic cakes on there.
I thought the T-bone was a bad attempt at a Spain-Portugal map, jajajaja. What the h is Xiep Xorn? Future love Mrs? o_0
I thought the first one was for a beautician who specializes in waxing. It looks like a used wax strip.
Areia wins the most useful comment award. I would never have figured out Mandy's inscription...my new phrase of the day shall now be Hiep Hoera.
i thought the first one said Liep Loem. which sounds kind of Latin to me, so it must be something profound, like Live Long and Prosper.
i'm sooooo glad someone else saw an IUD in the t-bone. *phew*- I was worried about me there for a sec.
I thought the T-bone cake was the state of South Carolina seceding from itself.
I'm going with "featureless snowmen (or possibly dogs) in front of moldy melon rind" for the fourth one.
No one seems to have even mentioned the LOVELY job the wreckerator did matching greens on the Future Love Mrs. Cake. BLEEGH.
I do think someone was onto something with Halloween Costume... though only if you were dressing as a zombie stripper.
@Squidley: you are not kidding! That baker's web site is an interstate of wrecks, with an occasional rest area that's free of wreckdom. Jen could have a whole month of fun with those.
WV: I am ploisd to offer my opinion of these wrecks.
interesting. . . .
Am I really the only person who thinks the pear-shaped beer basket one was actually decorated with Bendaroos?
Maybe I've been watching too much kid TV...
Re: Maybe it's not waxing but sugaring? However, the question still must be asked... WHY?
The beer basket actually looks pretty good to me. Only the fact that it's supposed to be filled with beer is halfway wrecky.
WV: bachies -- diehard fans of J.S. Bach.
Okay here it is. The African beer basket link:
http://www.africadirect.com/productsdesc.php?ID=45254
@NYCGirl:
I think you're right about the watermelon rind, but I think those are sausage biscuits in front of it.
The skate board one looks like two hairy mushrooms in front of a wall of graffiti.
~Amy B
Why on Earth would Adam and Abbie's decorator make a smooth board and not wheels? At fist glance I thought the last one was one of those squeezy stress dolls whose eyes bulge when the thing is squoze.
WV: halitos - the horrificly bad breath one can only get after eating Nacho Cheese Doritos.
By the way, you must look for "hiep hiep hoera" videos on youtube! I started with an album from Sesamstraat (the Dutch version of Sesame Street)and was briefly distracted by the many Sesame Street videos, but if you can pull yourself away from Ernie's powerful grip, some of the videos are fantastic!
The T-bone looks like an IUD in a uterus!
I'm actually proud of myself for figuring out the t-bone steak before reading the inscription or the choices. I'm less proud of then thinking, "It looks like an IUD."
Tbone looked like a uterus to me