Wednesday
Sep162009
Creepy Crawly Cakes
September 16, 2009 Can't we just have normal frosting roses, sprinkles, maybe a spermy-looking bunch of balloons? Even a beanbag-body clown would be ok. I mean, I try to avoid even being in the same room with yukky-looking creatures...do I really have to take a bite out of one with a side of Ben and Jerry's?
This is a Naked Mole Rat. Cousin to the rare Old Navy Sweater-Wearing Mole Rat. This cutie is interesting because he lacks the ability to feel pain.
Yeeeah. I kinda wish I had that trait right about now.
Maybe if we hadn't stored this confection in a grimy cabinet and put a ravioli under the sheets, we could have avoided this infestation, hmm?
And speaking of infestations...
Do you think if you made a cake like this out of Twinkies, it'd be twice as likely to survive a nuclear holocaust? Just wondering.Hey, ever wonder what you'd get if you crossed a naked mole rat with a roach?
Yeah, me neither.
Still, I bet it'd look something like this:
Kathy, Rebecca A., Lisal F., & Jessica D., these cakes aren't bugging you, are they?
UPDATE: A big thanks to Cristy B., creator of the Naked Mole Rat cake, for being such a good sport and submitting her own cake!
- Related Wreckage: I'm Guessing They Didn't Have a Matching Card
Reader Comments (220)
I'm with Miranda. I'm just gonna tuck myself in under my desk. When they're gone, call me. Where's my teddy? And my blanky? And my bottle of Jameson?
HAHAHA. But seriously, I'm off of cake now for eternity. *shudders*
Sweet merciful heaven!!!!!!!!
Got me this time!! Gotta wonder what event needed any of these scary scary monsters!!
I suppose the first one could be considered a "rodent of unusual size"
OMG. These literally make my skin crawl! Geesh!
~Amy B.
I don't dare show the buggy ones to my youngest son, he would insist on one for his birthday cake!
I've heard of spaghetti noodles coming out of your nose. I've heard of milk coming out of you nose. But never have I heard of TEETH coming out of your nose...
I don't dare show the buggy ones to my youngest son, he would insist on one for his birthday cake!
these cakes are like car accidents: horrifying, but so difficult to look away.
on a side note, i usually look at cake wrecks over my lunch break. yeah, so, um, not a good idea today!
Those have to be some of the grossest things I have seen served as food. Just...just...ewww!
I think I just threw up a little...
I was looking at your blog when my three year old walked up and noticed the rodent. His eyes grew large and pointed loudly saying "eew, mommy! Eeeewww!!!!"
Then I scrolled down to the bugs and he began backing up yelling "yucky, mommy! yucky!"
Even my three year old, who would drop me in heart beat if offered cake, was discerning enough to back away.
I like naked mole rats. They are in their own horrible style cute. But I couldn't cut into a cake, that is formed after a naked mole rat. That's ewwww. It is a similar ewww like this to realistic looking baby cakes. You expect really, that it will start to bleed. And when the baker used red filling, man, than I would run out of the room, screaming at the top of my lungs.
But really awful is the bedcake with the bugs. EWWWWWWWWWWW. Ore the cockroaches cake. No thanks, I am now on diet!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
Bleck Bleck Bleck. Those are all horrible. Just awful. I don't think I could eat any of them. **shudders**
I saw a "sperm balloons" cake yesterday. And I also saw one of those Hamburger & Fries cakes. One of the fries was stuck in this big bloody looking blob that was suppose to be ketchup. It was gross.
the terrifying thing to me? Is that this creature actually exists! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AX94UtcRu14&feature=related
OH.MY.BARF.
Q: What happens when a beaver and an ROUS mate? A: Cake #1.
Aaaaiiiiiieeeeeee!!!!!
If someone showed up with that roach, I would leave. There is NO way I could eat a bite of that.
Ugly mole rat, but I could probably eat some.
The nose teeth are very disturbing.
The others are just...wth??
Alex
Those cakes are absolutely fantastic. I tried to get a "spore" cake last year (I study fungus), but I didn't get anything nearly that recognizable.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! i love you Jen, you are rockin'!! Twinkies and cockroaches, naked mole rats crossed with cockroaches--this is one of the best posts ever.
BTW, my first thought on seeing the "tusks" on the mole rat was that it had French fries stuck up its nose.
Is it weird that I think all of those are adorable? There is nothing more amazing than a bug . . . and since naked mole rats live in "hives" with one "queen" making all the babies, I'll go ahead and count them as bugs. Those cakes need to be iced with chocolate covered ants. Yes, I would totally eat that. :)
Oh. My. God. I wouldn't want to eat them, even if they were the last cakes forever...
I'm a biologist. This fact perhaps explains why my reaction to the naked mole rat cake was "AWESOME!" Naked mole rats are really cool animals. They are one of the only eusocial mammals, which means that they have a social system sort of like bees or ants. They live in colonies where the queen is the only female who gets to mate and the workers divide up the tasks. And yes, as another commenter mentioned, those teeth are not too badly misplaced. Their teeth really do grow through their upper lip so they can knaw things underground without getting a mouthful of dirt. They're not ROUS-like; one could sit easily on your hand, plus the ROUSes had hair. (Real life ROUS equivalent: capybaras. I'd love to see one of those as a cake.) The entire species also has really low genetic diversity, indicating that they are amazingly inbred.
This concludes today's biology lesson.
PS: The cake like a bed with huge bugs is kinda gross, even to me.
I just gotta ask...
That naked mole rat cake...
It wasn't made from a red velvet cake mix was it?
Karen
thesonshinesthroughme.blogspot.com
Oh my, those cakes are absolutely disgusting!
Did anyone notice that the teeth of the naked mole rat are coming out of it's nose instead of the mouth?
Why? That is what I want to know . . . Why would anyone want that for a cake? Seriously!
This is the first time reading Cake Wrecks actually made me naseous.
Do. Not. Want.
Nothing says "Happy Birthday" like a cake that reminds you of something you squash & kill.
"Happy Birthday, honey.... when I think of you, I think of a can of Raid!"
ha, i actually like the naked mole rat cake. but maybe that's because i was fascinated with them after seeing them several times a week when i interned at a zoo.
as for the teeth- they have lips behind the teeth, so dirt doesn't get into their mouths when they're digging, which explains it a little. although they don't come out of the nose, they're rather prominent and are right under the nose.
I am hereafter erasing my memories of your particularly horrid cake wrecks and replacing them with memories of being first in line at large department stores.
I.E.: This entry is great, Jen. I loved getting to the front of the line 4 times in a row! I'm so thankful because I really did need those cotton tipped swabs for my art project.
(I would only accept the third creation's existence in my memory under two stipulations:
-It was, indeed, made of Twinkies™.
-It came with a cute Johnny 5-esque robot buddy)
Did anyone else notice that the bed bugs had a little "bleeding" from their dark icing onto the bed? Considering that bed bugs feed on blood, this ramps up the ick factor significantly.
I have to admit that the mole rat is kinda cool. I'd eat it. Insects, of any kind, no thanks.
That last one looks like it's supposed to be a Drosophila melanogaster, or the fruit fly well known and loved by geneticists. The red eyes are a dead giveaway.
ew ew ew ew EW!!!!!!
Who would request those cakes, let alone EAT them?!?! *gags*
Ewww! Those are totally disgusting.
Why are the naked mole rat's teeth up its nose?
As a technical note...the naked mole rat has fangs out of its 'nose' because it digs with its fangs and seals its lips behind them so it doesn't get dirt in it's mouth...
and yes they are ugly
Chills. These cakes gave me the chills. I'm not sure how I will recover.
What's sad is that I'd choose any of those bug cakes over the naked mole rat. Out of all the creatures out there, with the exception of centipedes, I just cannot like naked mole rats. I like some spiders, like a lot of snakes and lizards, don't mind various insects. (I may add flies to the 'I hate them' pile. I could never like them either.)
Yaaagh! Really wish I hadn't seen this right before bed! I am so going to have nightmares *hides under her blanket*
Oh my gosh, these cakes are the ugliest, most horrible things I've ever seen in pastry. How can anyone think these are delightfully delectable? Why on earth? Oh, I just don't get it.
That giant cockroach cake was pretty Kafkaesque.
And have you seen today's "F Minus"?
http://comics.com/f_minus/2009-09-16/
omg! My 5yo is loving naked mole rat cake! (we watched a doco with them in it and he was fascinated hehehe)
Personally I think the roach/cicada/whatever is ADORABLE and I wish I could have had some.
The naked mole rat is cool.. but I don't think I could actually eat it.
I think some of them look pretty nicely done, but yeah, the concept is still quite worrisome. O_O
These are the worst, awfullest cakes you've ever posted. Just looking at them made my skin crawl. Ugh. Especially the bed bug cake.
I'm fighting an bed bug infestation at my house right now. Those suckers are so easy to accidentally bring home from a hotel and so effing hard to get rid of, even with the help of professional exterminators. "Don't let the bedbugs bite" is no longer just a cute phrase to me.
Good god. Just when you thought it was safe to tune in, the naked Mole Rat. That is seriously wrong. I would love to hear the story about why that charming little nightmare was created.
I now have the heebie-jeebies. And the barfie-warfies.
WV- easithog: A device for moving large pigs with ease.
um what I want to know is....WHY? G.R.O.S.S.
I have a pretty strong stomach but all of these made me nauseous! Gag me with a spoon! Gross!
I have a stomach virus.
It's lingered for days.
I've a feeling it's going to linger for a few more days.
And now I have a stomach virus and a potential for nightmares about naked mole rats and edible cicadas that crunch when you eat them. Pardon me while I run to give Porcelain Patty a hug.
Eeeeeeeeeeeee-yuck!
I loved the Twinkie reference, though. :D