Wednesday
Aug192009
A Day in the Life of a Wreckerator, Pt 2
August 19, 2009 TO DO:
6. Practice flowers
7. Pitch that idea to store manager
"So, we take the leftover brownies, lots of icing, [demonstrating]...mush them together...and voila! Brownie Ball!"8. Dust the displays
"Meh, I'll get it next month."9. Print new store signs
[evil snicker]10. Determine once and for all how much dye it takes to induce diarrhea
(FOLLOW UP: Send "get well" card to Steve.)Cassandra, Amanda, Chloe, Matt K., & Steve S., "thanks".
- Related Wreckage: Proper Penmanship
Reader Comments (87)
I think that the trail that will be blazed will be a person shaped hole through the wall as whoever eats that red cake (which I'm pretty sure is 90% dye, 10% cake) crashes through the wall on their way to the bathroom!
Josh
http://thedmt.blogspot.com
"Sorry" in quotes is pretty insulting!
You give us the brownie ball and "practice" flowers, but no public restroom...sheesh. Well, frankly, I much prefer a private one.
You could probably get stoned from that Trailblazer horror cake.
each photo is worse than the last! *shock*
the penultimate trail has been blazed.
Um, what's up with that brownie ball? I hope this isnt' a new trend we're going to start seeing more of. I mean, really, who thought this was a good idea? Oh, right, yeah, the person who did the dead (ie brown) flowers. yeah, totally see that.
I'm actually diggin' the Brownie Ball.
I think on Steve's To-Do List would be have an ambulance on call to take him to the hospital after that icing makes its way through his digestive tract.
With that much read and black dye, that icing has got to be bitter! There's no such thing as no taste black! That is if you can even get past the look of it to attempt eating a piece!
mysleepinghusband.blogspot.com
mmmmm. Fiberdust. gick.
wv: enmetra; red dye induced enema.
Picture #6: Who pooed on the petunias?
#7: Speaking of poo, who tried to build a snowman in the dog-walk area?
#8: “That’s the last time I order from Miss Havisham’s Bakery!”
#9: “Oh, that explains pictures 7 and 8!”
#10: Even after the apocalypse, sports will be played!
^..^
I LOVE the "Sorry"! LOL!
At least the quotes on "Sorry" are accurate for a change :)
I've had a completely red and black cake--no diarrhea, although we all did look like vampires for hours with our red-stained teeth. The wreckerator's gonna have to do better than that.
You know, I really hope there are no wreckerators making gluten-free cakes. I may have to figure this out beforehand, because I will make my own wedding cake if necessary.
I'm dying to know...
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a brownie ball?
What's in the center of the brownie ball?
Can I please have the phone number of Dusty Flowers Bakery? I've got a hankerin' for lint covered icing roses.
I'm not gonna lie. I'd totally eat the Brownie Ball.
that brownie ball is, well, something. WTH?
Wouldn't the red and black induce "dye-arrhea" (not diarrhea)...? HA I crack myself up.
D'oh, I meant "...pictures 6 and 7!" in comment 9. Time for more coffee!
^..^
WV: midengib. I midengib an extra look at my posts before I post 'em!
"Sorry" must be read in the same smartie-pants tone as the kids used in the 80's commercial for the board game. "Soorryy."
They will be sorry there's no public bathroom if they go back to the store after Steve's party.
WV- rodist A person who believes that rodents are supreme beings.
We're "sorry" we can't offer you a "restroom". We "hope" you make it to the "nearby" public toilets that are "only" two "blocks" away. Have a "nice" day!
Yeah right, I'm sure they're "sorry!"
Ewww! For some reason extra-dirty displays like that are the worst and make me feel even more sick to my stomach than something like...oh i don't know, a cake with toe fungus maybe? (don't know WHERE I would have seen such a thing! ;))
The only thing that would make the brownie ball better is if there is a single, lonely cupcake nestled snug underneath all that icing. Please tell me this is so.
haha! these are great! i love the "sorry"
Those dusty, falling apart displays in bakeries baffle me. Wouldn't you think having appetising, attractive stuff on display would be important? I think that would be clue #1 that you might be dealing with a wreckerator and a good reason to check out another bakery.
And the "sorry" - hillarious.
The dust on the flower literally made me want to puke. "Gross!!" :) hehehe
My eyes! My eyes!!!
Josh lmao. Now I am thinking of times that, oh, how can I put it delicately, my boyfriend Ate Bad Things and I completely expected him to be launched from the bathroom through the roof of the house...
Brown flowers. How appetizing. NOT. And whoever came up with the Wad O'Brownies was high!
Dear God What A Mess!!! I'd hate to be the one to clean up after that Trailblazer cake~~~~
I have this hysterical mental picture of people with black teeth after eating the last cake... though it sounds like black teeth would be the least of their worries.
NOOooooOOOO! That dust is atrocious!
I like the *evil snicker* after the "sorry" picture.
As for the overdyed cake, all I have to say is "Yikes!"
mmmmmMMMmmmm...
those poo flowers look delish!
6. vomiting corpse flowers
(vomitus morbitus for the Latin inclined)
7. mouthwatering idea. HORRENDOUS execution. Still something to mention to the brownie makers of the family since i know they have better artistic sense than this.
8. all it needs is a promotional sign somewhere nearby saying how much they care about cakes.
9. We need to know where this is - no matter where it is it will be funny, just in different ways.
10. do-it-yourself kit on tooth staining. (or considering the amount of red and black dye, maybe 'tooth camouflage' would be more accurate)
I have to try to believe that the flowers are dying poinsettias...I have to try, I tell you! haha
Also, that last cake made me feel physically ill just looking at it. :S
Great, since I'm newly pregnant and haven't had morning sickness yet I was hoping to avoid it all together. But those flowers just brought it on. Thanks Cake Wrecks!
Actually? That brownie-Frankenstein thing looks DELICIOUS.
The flowers in the first picture look like those huge jungle flowers that smell like rotting meat. I'd totally want those on my cake.
I actually like the Brownie Ball idea. I wouldn't buy one at the store, but I like the idea of taking brownies and frosting and mushing them into a giant ball to eat. Someone please pass the insulin.
Cake Wrecks rules the internets, but today's sign reminded me of another blog you all might like:
http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com/
I sooo know now how that melted mess happened! (see http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/07/christmas-in-july-going-dutch.html)
Assistant manager: Rob, it’s your turn to dust the display cakes.
Rob: Huh? What! I did that last week! It’s your turn!
Ass. manager: Ah, no- it’s-not. The boss left me in charge…of you. So get to it!
Rob: …mutter…mutter..mutter.. [digging through supply closet and finds the shop vac]…wonder if this still works...evil grin.
babyblue1217
The poop flowers and dusty cake is just gross.
~Amy B
Those flowers look like something out of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. *shudder*
The Brownie Ball...an example that sometimes it looks great on paper...and looks like a wreck in person.
Dusting: OH my goodness I eat at a tea shop near my work and I've watched their displays get grungier and grungier. Blargh.
Trailblazer: How about I blaze a trail to the nearest restroom? OH WAIT that's right no public restroom. =P Dude, if you serve a cake like that, you HAVE to have a restroom.
Yiiiiikes!
WV: Stionol--After I ate that Trailblazers cake, I had to take some Stionol for the unfortunate effects.
Poo flowers! dusty wreckage and violently dark trail to Hell cake and brownies? surely you spoil us Jen!!
I need one of those brownie balls after a night out!
Is it just me or do those practice flowers look like chocolate starfishes? I'm just sayin...
Okay, those dusty roses are dis GUSTing!
Am I the only with the urge to punch the brownie ball really hard and watch all the icing ooze out?
We often make cookie cakes for family birthdays because my kids aren't big cake fans. I think I will be incorporating the Brownie Ball in the next celebration!!
Mary
that dust on that cake makes me sick! i can't believe someone would leave a cake like that on display! oh wait, yes i can, it's Cake Wrecks! you can believe everything they say, right? ;-)
["Sorry" No Public Restroom] will most certainly lead to [Clean up on "Aisle 2"] even if the customer is on aisle 7!
WV: ousep - If Ousep this red and black cake, you should have your head examined