Wednesday
Aug192009
A Day in the Life of a Wreckerator, Pt 2
August 19, 2009 TO DO:
6. Practice flowers
7. Pitch that idea to store manager
"So, we take the leftover brownies, lots of icing, [demonstrating]...mush them together...and voila! Brownie Ball!"8. Dust the displays
"Meh, I'll get it next month."9. Print new store signs
[evil snicker]10. Determine once and for all how much dye it takes to induce diarrhea
(FOLLOW UP: Send "get well" card to Steve.)Cassandra, Amanda, Chloe, Matt K., & Steve S., "thanks".
- Related Wreckage: Proper Penmanship
Reader Comments (87)
Mmmmmm, brownie ball...
not gonna lie...who in gods name would honestly go to a store when their display cake was that dusty!
Awesome website!!! Love the photos and great information-thanks,Betty http://www.geothermalquestions.net
Ughh. Those flowers on number six are making me nauseous. What flowers are that color?!
If you're gonna stick brownies together, guys, at least use chocolate icing. That white looks wrong.
Easy brownie icing:
Melt together 6 oz bag of chocolate chips, 2 tbsp. butter, 2 tbsp. milk. Then add 1 cup powdered sugar and beat till smooth. Dump over your brownies and spread with spatula.
Tastes *really* good, looks glossy and pretty. Come to the dark side; we have chocolate.
Oh, my word - the dust photo. Ugh, ugh, ugh!!
I would have totally wolfed that brownie ball down when I was in college.
It would be better if, instead of a big ball of icing, the center was a big ball of cheesecake.
Oddly enough, looking at that sad Portland Trailblazers cake made my stomach lurch a little o_o; I never expected that..
The brownie ball is just so...
I mean...
What possible...
I think some Wreckerators are just fans of this site. I have to believe that.
As long as it's Red Dye #9 we're all good. That's NOT the one that kills you..... right?... RIGHT?!
that was very interesting!
[chanting] Brownie Ball! Brownie Ball! Brownie Ball!
What are the flowers in the first pic made of? Beef jerky and poo?
captcha: weedlatt - Starbucks' new marijuana, coffee and steamed milk concoction.
wow those flowers look nasty.... blah
We got a shipment at work last week and inside was an envelope marked
"Packing Slip"
I thought of this site.
Those flowers look EXACTLY like sea stars, aside from the fact that they appear to be covered in rotten egg or something...
Holy cow! Haha i think the one that disgusted me the most was the "dust the displays" one....yuck!
After seeing that, I wouldn't be able to walk out of that bakery fast enough!
Hope you are enjoying the rest of your summer!
Yours Truly,
Caitlyn
Tutorial for practice "roses" :
(A.K.A. "experimental appetizer")
Here we go! We start off with a nice, slick (some say, "slimy") bed of fresh seaweed ...a few baby pigs' ears, arranged in a fanciful pinwheel fashion.....ISN'T this FUN!....Now, a dab (JUST a dab, mind you) of homemade raspberry cream filling...
And to top it all off--a fillip of pureed liver-- et VOILA!!!
("Voila" WHAT, we haven't figured out yet.)
***************************
babyblue1217 said...
" ...Assistant manager: Rob, it’s your turn to dust the display cakes."
***
Why, that's just silly!
Unless Rob is a complete idjit, he should be able to tell that the display cakes are *already* dusty enough!!!
=^~-^=
seeing as how i'm allergic to red food dye, just looking at that last pic is almost enough to make me run to the bathroom. they must've used every bit of red & black dye in the place!
let';s wreck em.
The brownie ball is not as it appears, my friends.
Inside the snug confines of the viscous icing and the protective brownie shell, like a hideous teratoma, lies a CCC waiting to be born!!!
We have finally discovered the reproductive process of the CCC...and brother, it ain't pretty.
I found out the hard way that too much black dye in icing will turn your poop bright green. It was terrifying, and I'm never eating a cake decorated like a piano ever again.
Am I the only one who thinks that brownie ball looks really tasty?
Wow! The "Sorry" sign is a little better than THIS gem I found at Sam's last week.
http://kaarensblog.blogspot.com/2009/08/dont-forget-your-diapers.html
wv: rascr. That rascr thought he could get away with that signage!
Took me a moment to recall what those "flowers"' petals resemble. The answer: Slices of Cranberry sauce.
Also more decaying display cakes! For those who weren't around for the last batch (heh), apparently display cakes are foam under the (admittedly real) icing. They're not letting whole cakes sit out like that. Still, you'd think they could spring for hosing them off and re-icing them every few weeks or so.
well actually the brownie ball thing looks kinda good 2 me :)
haha! I would rather see "sorry" or "thanks" than another abbreviation... tks, txs... especially in emails! Arrgh! Important words people! Go ahead and through in the extra letters.
I deeply enjoy Tigerwolf's Great Expectations joke.
I would also love to know what is, in fact, in the middle of a brownie ball. I keep thinking that it's a cupcake. Cupcake plus icing plus brownie. It's possibly worse than a CCC.
I have a mild feeling that the dye they used for those horrendous flowers is extremely faulty. It looks as though it USED to be a light pink.
You know it's bad when the cake glistens....
The brownie ball seems to be related to a bakery "manager's special" one of my co-workers brought in last week -- a danish ring split horizontally, filled with buttercream, dotted on top with more buttercream and formerly fresh berries, then topped with big chunks of raisin pound cake. Mmmmm!
WV: carin My name, just horribly misspelled
i cannot get enough of this blog. wonderful voice!
I think the last cake is for a guy named Stewart not Steve, or at least that's what the piped name at the top looks like to me.
Laughing so hard at the "brownie ball" cake.
My stomach churns at that Trailblazers cake. The diarrhea would be an interesting color too. (Sick, but, I daresay, true)
Just wanted to say: Thank you so much.
Even on days when I'm feeling sick (like today) you and your site of baking disasters never fails to make me smile and laugh.
-Bianca
Hi Jen knowing your a self-described non sports fan, it appears that the final cake was given as a tribute to what I assume would be the recipient's favorite NBA team, the Portland Trail Blazers (I noticed the Blazers' pinwheel logo in all that red and black dye). Clearly though, that cake gives a whole new meaning to the term "Rip City" (a phrase coined by longtime Blazers announcer Bill Schonely). Enjoy the site as always, also follow you on Twitter and FB too.
Love the Trailblazer diarrhea one from a Portland, Oregonian !!!
That last cake... wow. That would taste truly, truly horrible. So would those flowers, for that matter...
(Um, silly question, but where's part 1? I searched for it and couldn't find it...)