My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Early Detection is Key

During these summer months, it's extra important to perform regular bakery checks. So just remember your ABCs, everyone:

A: Is the "design" awful?
B: Is the border ragged or irregular?
C: Is the color reminiscent of a contagious skin disease?

If you see anything suspicious, don't delay: photograph the offending specimen and submit it to a licensed professional* immediately.

*And by "licensed professional", I mean "the blogger who specializes in ridiculing ridiculous Wreckage". (Now say that three times fast...)

Eric P., thanks for this important reminder.

- Related Wreckage: How To Make Your Twins Hate You

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Reader Comments (131)

Is that... intentional? If it's mold, that's actually kind of neat.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteravclayton

I had something that looked like that growing in my refrigerator one time.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThassa

What is it supposed to be?? It's like the airbrush threw up on the cake, and someone said "Someone'll still buy it. Put it on display!"

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKat

Lo, what skin ailment
plagues yonder big box sheet cake?
Call Dr. Rorschach!

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Some call the CSI's this cake has been murdered (and most brutally by the looks of it!)

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDedi

The murder scene/sanitary towel motif certainly is unique.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLT

Good lord, what on earth is that?

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

I, uh...what the heck is that supposed to be anyway? It looks like the decorator was high on some cheap crack to me. lol


July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizzy Leigh

that is just foul. what is that?

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterClair

It totally looks like someone bled all over the cake, but they're selling it anyway. Way to go, bakery manager! Make money while the wreckerator is at the ER!P

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTauna

omg! it looks like the baker cut themself over the cake ... ugggghhh... just totally lost my appetite!

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

That is SO disgusting. What was it supposed to be?!?

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So I found myself staring at this cake expecting an image to appear.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPat

THAT was actually on a bakery shelf?!?!?!?!? That is horrible!

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerraD

Wow..what is that cake supposed to be? I don't see anything recognizable! Oh wait..I think I see a bunny in there somewhere. Sort of in the middle but to the left a bit. Anyone else?? Is it an ink blot cake? I'm baffled and certainly wouldn't pay money for this!!

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHolly Sarah

Finally a Dexter cake. I'm in love.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKat79

I say Ink blot test to see how crazy wreck reporters are?

My boyfriend insist the top left corner was "Hi" written with one of those blowpens for kids..but they sneezed cause ink to to spray everywhere...

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVickie T.

what do you supposed that used to be and how old is it anyway? What do want to bet the fridge quit sometime in it's lifetime? Yuck!!

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNellie

What on earth is that supposed to BE?

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Mmmmmmmmm, food posioning.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjess

Did the "decorator" cut her hand? Wow.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMamaMia

Woooo Hoooo!! One of the first to comment!!

Looks like the bakers had a fight in the back and one had a nosebleed....on the cake....



July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

It seems the baker has cut him/herself on one of those ragged icing edges and bled all over the cake.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDave D-O-Double-G

It is scary to think 1) someone might actually buy the cake and 2) someone might actually eat the cake. There is something seriously wrong with that cake that only the CDC will be able to determine!

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDozer and Coop

Maybe it's supposed to be an inkblot test....I see...a horse and buggy riding along the water with it's reflection below it. Easy peasy!

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHoolyjulie

It looks a bit like a map to Pern or some other fantasy land.

Not that I'd eat it, even then. Looks sketchy.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJames

I bet I know what it is.

It's supposed to be a Rorschach test design. It's for Mental Illness Day

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwpb30635

The label is crooked, too.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnieD

I think this is missing some copper toppers.

Angie (from over at

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

is it supposed to be Dexter themed, lol?

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersaaaaam

did someone get shot in the bakery?

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterheresthediehl

I think I see the face of Jesus...

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTamlynn

Looks like someone said 'I don't give a damn anymore, I can't please anyone' and just dripped food coloring on it.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

"Ahhh, excuse me, Mr. Bakery Manager? Someone appears to have bled on your cake."

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjanet2buns

Some Goth teenager is just going to pee themselves in excitement when they get that cake on their birthday.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Its perfectly obvious what it is - now that everyone uses teabags the fortune tellers cannot read teacups, so you buy one of these cakes and the fortune teller reads your slice.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

I hate to be a nitpicker, but I read this blog everyday and it's driving me crazy!

Jen, commas and periods always go inside the quotation marks.

Exclamation points and question marks go inside if they are a part of the quote, outside if they are a part of the entire sentence but not the quote.

I love your blog.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa

This looks like a photo of a melanoma. Once again, I'm amazed at what people will sell (and buy, presumably)

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCakelady72

I also saw the cake and immediately thought of my favorite blood spatter analyst by day, serial killer by night, and very sexy Dexter! It just needs some red string to show us the direction of the blows. "You must have been a mother at cats cradle" ~Bautista

I <3 Dexter!

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYota Armai

I see half a skull and crossbones on the right side of the cake... not sure about the other half.

It is so like a Rorschach test!!

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTricia T

Look at the artificial contaminants ingredients list slapped onto the lid - the stuff is leaking out, that's all.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDecadent Housewife

On the label it says "1/4 sheet marble cake". Was this their attempt at marbling the icing? If so, it failed.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbunnabee

In my brain, that's a Dexter cake, which makes me love it a little bit.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDixie

It was a calm day in the kitchen until Stacey saw Jeff's latest "design." It was more than she could take since it was part of a theme: he'd recently sent out a "Hapy Brithady" cake and a pile of poo he had called a "chocolate mountain." But no more.
"Hey, Jeff...your piping looks a bit off maybe you'd like some help?"
"No, Stacey. I'm Okay." Jeff said as he reached for some curling ribbon. And hen something snapped in Stacey and she grabbed a knife from the counter and started wildly swinging at Jeff.
"No more Wrecks! What's wrong with you?! Holes in fondant, misspellings, no perspective!!!"
Jeff's body fell to the floor like a sack of flour, the curling ribbon still clutched in his hand. Stacey looked at the mess, and then at the cake. It was splattered with Jeff's blood. She got a spatula so she could fix the cake but then she stopped. No, she thought, she wouldn't change a thing on it and she smiled as she readied it for the display case. This would be Jeff's last contribution to the world of cakes.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergrimperspective

I noticed the label says "1/4 sheet Marble Cake". Maybe it's the Wreckerator's attempt to create a marbleized look to the frosting as well? Whatever it is, it doesn't seem to be working that well. O.o

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S.

Two words: "arterial spray". Somebody needs to do a headcount of the bakery staff, pronto.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Luxuries


~Amy B

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

It's a CSI cake! Judging from the blood spatter pattern I'd say the Wreckerator got it in the head...

Gah. Who would BUY that thing?


July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMJ

That looks like the gauze I took off my leg after I skinned it up sliding into home playing kickball.

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrian

OK....besides it being a complete bloody mess.....if I squint my eyes I can see an angel holding a Christmas tree in the top left corner, a reindeer in the top right corner, and Santa's sleigh on the bottom.
But when I unsquint my eyes I see that someone bled all over the cake.
**love the Dexter comments!**

July 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara_in_WA

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